Why does he hate his cot??

[karen99]

Arrrrghh, why oh why are daytime naps so hard?

We go through a run of good days and then a run of bad. Ds never likes being put in his cot and a 'good day' is when he falls asleep after 2mins of crying. A 'bad day' (LIKE TODAY!!!!) is 20mins of crying and counting (I went in after 20mins, cuddled him for 5 and put him back). I know he's tired but he doesn't want to settle. Sometimes after 10mins he finds his toys and has a great time for about 5mins and then the crying starts again. Plus he now says "mamma" in amongst the tears which just PULLS at those heart strings.

I've done my back in after carrying him around for 30mins after yesterday's nap and can't do the same again today... I feel terrible cos he's so upset and there's nothing I can do. In the end, yesterday, I just got him up and he missed his afternoon nap completely. He was already catching up on missed sleep from the weekend and if I do the same he'll be even more sleep deprived.

Has anyone got any tips on helping him like his cot and not cry as soon as he sees me walking near it? I'd love to be able to say "he now loves his cot and WANTS to go in it" as I've read before on MN. Ds is 8.5mo and over 22lb!

Well said mears! Consistency is the only way to go. You are allowed a meal and time with dh, but the only way you'll get this is if you decide bed time means bed time... be strong and stick with the same time for 4/5 nights, he will soon understand. Don't let him wrap you round his little finger!

oh me god - you girls are so tough.
unfortunately as I said, ds has been ill - took to dr yesterday and he's going towards pneumonia and I didn't even notice so opbviously will have to start the routine thing again when he's better.
so get this right - I leave him in his cot even when he's not tired! how many days will it take before he actually goes to bed at MY set time?

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Oh ouioui I know it's sooooo hard. I actually got my strength to leave ds to settle himself from the girls on MN. And it is now sooooo easy to get him to settle himself (it's now a couple of weeks on from doing cc on daytime naps). Sometimes he goes into his cot and cries for 5mins, other times he plays then has a whimper and drops off. He's getting better each day. Not sure if he'll ever love his cot, but I now know what he 'has to go through' in order to settle himself and this usually involves a grizzle of some sort. It's just the way he is.

Really sorry to hear your little man is so poorly. When he's through this nasty cold you will find the right time to try setting up a bedtime plan again. A [flexible] routine and consistency really do help and he will learn -you have to be the teacher. Good luck and let us know how he gets on.

Oh, and my mum commented today on how much more relaxed I am about ds' daytime sleep and I'm sure that feeling goes through to him and he now knows when mummy puts him in his cot it's time to sleep. He can just tell from my body language and responds to it. Your ds will soon be the same. hugs

twiglett band karen99
thanks so much for your support
we're back from hospital now and he's still on medication. yesterday started off as the perfect day. he had 2 good daytime naps, happy in his cot etc and then went to bed before 9pm!!! for the previous 4 nights he'd slept through about 9 hours on a trot so I was almost there. however, he woke up at 2am and I let him grizzle but it gradually increased and he was sitting up in his cot wide awake. He's only slept 5 hours but was wide awake and I put him down again. He then screamed from 2am until 6am when I eventually gave some milk and stroked his head and went to sleep until 8am.
we've just started the day as though nothing has happened but am alreday nervous about tonight!
Is he doing that switching night and day thing? I pray that it's a one off.

I have just read a bit of this thread but we have the same problem with ds...he is almost 2. Nighttime is fine but day time naps are a NIGHTMARE....we are getting better though.

He was in a cot till about 8 months and then we moved him to his own bed cos he would throw himself against the cot like a mad man and I was petrified he would hurt himself!!

At that stage it did help the night time sleep but day times were still a mission but now we have a good routine and we lie with him for about 5 minutes and he is out

Hi ouioui, glad to hear he's on the mend. It must have been a tough time.

If he had four previous good nights then hopefully it is just a one off. How long were his daytime naps? Unless you feel he needs more I think about 3hrs sleep in total across the day is average for a 6-12mo. He should then be very tired by 9pm. It might be, ouioui, that you just have a little boy who doesn't need that much sleep. I can only go by my experiences so there maybe someone else in a more similar circumstance that can give better advice! How old is you ds now?

ds is 9.5 months and sleeps about 12 hours in total. his daytime naps are normal and he can settle himself - having said that i just puit him in his cot awake at 830 pm (very very tired) and he seems to have gone to sleep. I know he will wake arounhd midnight though.
yesterday got him to bed same time and he was up until 5am. i really don't know what to do with him. he was fine for a few days before going into hospital (where he slept for 9 hours)
going on holiday to japan tomorrow so will have to settle him during the early hours of morning otherwise he'll keep the whole hotel up. will just have to reteach him when we get home again. is there no end to this?