Can I use the cry it out method on my Breastfeed baby??

[Kayls901]

Really need help!! I bottle fed my eldest son and used the cry it out method at 6 months old, this was only to help him at bedtime as he was sleeping through from 2 months of age. Now my youngest son will be 7 months old soon and has been exclusively breastfed. He is still waking between 3-7 times a night. We are currently co-sleeping as he will latch himself on and after 5 mins may fall back to sleep or he will just scream until I stand and rock him back to sleep. I'm really exhausted from all the sleepless nights and am at the end of my tether. Can I use the crying out method with him? I don't think he needs the feeds at night as he has 3 meals a day including snacks and milk so I honestly think it is just a comfort for him. Would really like my bed back too. Lol.

Cc is settling in the cot and leaving the room and returning.

To be fair though shelley the OP wasn't asking about cc! the first posts were in response to CIO.

OP there is some more about sleep training on ISIS online.

When you say you've tried everything, gave you tried the no cry slerp solution?

He does have a dummy in the day but refuses it at night in favor of me. Yes I originally posted about CIO as I got it confused with CC.

You need to sleep. I did Cic on both of my breastfed sons as with CC they would just wait for me to return and then still not sleep. It took about three nights for them to work it out. I wouldn't say that they were brilliant sleepers after but they were a lot better than before.
Just do it.

When my now 2 year old son was this age and he woke (as frequently as yours does) if rocking didn't work he was probably hungry.

Also, comfort is a valid need in such small baby so if my son wasn't hungry and still wouldn't fall asleep I would make sure I was calm, put my tiredness to one side (which is difficult I know but easier when you know this tiny helpless person NEEDS you) and just cuddle and whisper and rock. It is hard but it will get better.

When he was a bit older, maybe 9/10 months we would sit by his cot and pat him when he wouldn't sleep and wasn't hungry and get him out if he cried and lay him down as soon as he stopped... Repeat, repeat, repeat. This took hours the first night but after a few days he could self settle it at least would only take give minutes of patting.

We stayed with him which is a much gentler approach then cc hut it worked. He knew we were there and this seemed to help.

Good luck

*self settle OR at least...

If he's only six months, 3 meals a day is a lot, the nhs don't recommend moving to 3 meals until they are between 8 and 9 months. Do you think that as the solids will probably have less calories than the milk, it could be this making him hungry and therefore making him wake for milk at night?

I'd cut down to 2 meals in the day and try bfing him an hour before each time. I'd also try to bf him every 2 hours in the day and offer both sides at least once. Could he be teething too?

^^ this from jiltedjohn is right. She has also linked some very good links. Have you read them OP?

You seem set on CC but did ask the question and seemed to have ignored some of the suggestions that recommend trying other things first. I could be wrong.

If you want to stop feeding in the night, you could try drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html method. It is a gentle method of night weaning suited to co sleeping and breastfeeding but it is advocated at 12 months plus It would be worth a read of the article in general though.

You can't possibly have tried everything if your baby is only 6 months old- you haven't had time.

You can't possibly have tried everything if your baby is only 6 months old- you haven't had time. at curlew

Agree with fad you haven't said what you've tried, haven't even commented on people's suggestions and just seem after validation for your chosen method. You don't need validation from strangers. If you want to ignore everyone else's suggestions and do CIO or cc or whatever you chose, you can, it's your baby but please don't waste everyone's time.

Typos again sorry.

Ok so last night was much better. I put him down as usual (bath,story,feed and then bed). He slept for approx 2 hours then woke up. I went in gave him his dummy an left he cried for 1 minute, I went back in gave him his dummy and left, repeated this about 5 times and he went to sleep. He then woke up at about 1am (the longest he has ever gone as normally I would have brought him in bed with us when he first woke up) I fed him at 1 and put him back down, we had about 40 mins of him crying an me and hubby going back and forth to give him his dummy, he eventually went to sleep and woke up at 7! This was amazing compared to what we have had.

Think my biggest problem is one I have caused myself by co-sleeping, this was always easier when he would constantly feed through the night (especially the growth spurts) but I think by being in bed with us we have disturbed his sleep more than anything.

Thanks for all your advice, I have read most of the links people have posted and am going to take ideas from some and just carry on as we did last night. I realise that my son needs me to comfort him (as one person posted) but he also needs me to be somewhat sane and be able to look after both him and my 2 year old during the day, for this to happen I can't soothe him all night as some have suggested otherwise I would be a zombie all day. Thanks again for those of you that offered me advice and support without saying I was harming my son.

what I'd do is try and figure out WHY he is crying - and if it's for comfort, make sure he is nearer to you enough so he doesn't feel sad - and if it's teething pain then give some calpol and hold him till he sleeps - and if he's hungry then feed him.

They never, ever cry for no reason. This is what I've done with my three and it works for us - and I know they are never crying for 'comfort' as I'm always there, which makes life easier all round tbh.

So they tend only to cry when they are hurting or whatever.

I don't see the point of a battle - you gotta sort out what's making them cry and if it's loneliness then that's easy to do.

Ok sorry if I have not posted replies to everyone I apologise if you feel I have wasted peoples time. I have had 2 weeks of no sleep and yesterday was very emotional from it all.

I don't know the names of methods we have tried but here is what we have done.

I tried feeding as and when he woke up, put him down and gave him a comforter and would rub his back. He would scream until he nearly made himself sick until I picked him up, then he would just stop.
We tried putting breastmilk in a bottle and hubby giving it to him. He refused point blank to drink from a bottle and would get himself very worked up.
I would carry his PJ's with me all day so they smell of me at night' also put an item of my clothes with him in his cot, this did not work.
I tried picking him up when he cried and putting him back down when he stopped, his cries would only escalate to where he carried on crying until I put him in bed with us. This led us to where we are now.

So he would sleep in bed with us. It was a very disturbed sleep for him and would be attaching himself to me to help him sleep but would then refuse my breast and just scream and not sleep at all until I stood up and rocked him. I memtione before he would sleep all night in my arms on the sofa so I know he can sleep for a long period of time.

I think I was looking for someone who had been through something similar and had tried cc. I am sorry if my posts have been all over, feel all over the place myself at the moment.

Sorry for typos, I'm on my phone.

Can't see it working if you're in the same room because he'll be looking at you thinking 'What the hell is going on? Why aren't you feeding me??!'

I did CC at 6-7 months with a baby who woke every frigging 2-3 hours yelling for the boob, and it was a lifesaver. First I moved DD into her own room, which I thought she'd hate but she didn't. (She had been in a Moses basket beside my bed though, for a co-sleeping baby I guess it might be harder to make the move) Then I cut out the night feeds one at a time by cutting down the length of time I fed her for - ie picked one feed (I started with 2am because that was the worst for me) and reduced the breastfeeding time by a minute or two so that after a couple of weeks she was feeding for less than 5 minutes. That way I knew she wasn't hungry. Then the next night she woke up I did controlled crying, so went in after 3 minutes, then 5 minutes, and after that she was asleep. Next I did it with the 3am and 5.30am feeds and that was it - within a month she was sleeping from 11-7. I kept up with the 11pm dreamfeed until she was 9 months.

Would really recommend Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems by Dr Ferber, which explains that if babies are hungry in the night at this stage it's because they've got used to being fed. Change their feeding patterns with night weaning and they'll just eat more in the day to compensate, which is the right way round.

Good luck. I know lots of people are opposed to letting babies cry and for tiny babies I think it's upsetting, but by the time they're 6 months old they're not tiny babies any more. Far from making her miserable, my DD was a much happier baby afterwards because she'd had a night of uninterrupted sleep. She now wakes up smiling and chatting to herself. I now actually feel bad for feeding her all night because it was preventing her from getting the rest she needed.

Carrying his pjs with you doesn't usually work as they will smell of your milk, usually if you want to put something in the cot that gives a reassuring smell, people tend to use an item of clothing that the dad has worn.

Has he ever been checked for tongue tie?

Have you tried increasing his bfs in the day?

Thanks for your post frenchsticker. We are definately going to move him in his own room this weekend and carry on as we did last night. I know he is just feeding for comfort because he maybe sucks for a minute then falls straight to sleep. He does have one feed through the night which I will still do but I won't be offering him my boob as a way to fall to sleep anymore.

I'm also going to try and feed him every 2 hours during the day along with the food that he normally eats just to see if this helps. Is the book you recommended on amazon OT is there a website I can look at?

My son is in no way a tiny baby anymore lol. He is nearly 7 months and weighs 24lbs. He is also very long for his age and is in 12-18 month clothes, so he's a big boy. My health visitor has said there is nothing to worry about though and has also said I should not be feeding him so much through the night.

Thanks jiltedjohnsjulie. I've never heard of using an item of my husbands clothes so will definately try that.

No he had not been checked for Tongue tie. To be honest I've never heard of it so I'm going to look it up now.

Is he very long too? Long babies often seem to need much more bfs than their shorter peers, he has to get his calories for growing from somewhere

The NCSS is here and you might also find this book helpful.

Is there a bfing support group locally? It might be useful to talk through the night wakings, weaning and your exhaustion through with a trained BFC and get him checked for tt.

Yep he's long. He's in 12-18 month trousers and tops for the length. Just read your other link on Tongue tie. I don't see any obvious problems with him so will ask my health visitor next time I have him weighed if she thinks he could have it.