DH totally broken. 7 month old just won't sleep

[Novia]

Just had to take the baby from my sobbing husband as he totally broke down after we've spent over an hour (again) trying to get her to sleep. I'm currently in the spare room with her latched on in bed which is a total regression for us.

Just don't know what to do anymore. DD is bf and 7 months old. We implemented the baby whisperer method a couple of weeks ago and it was (initially) a revelation as she just woke once for food. Then she got sick and the clocks changed and it just doesn't work anymore - her stamina is greater than ours.

I feel that we are at the end of our tether and I just don't know what to go. CIO isn't something I want to do but this can't continue either. Any advice would be appreciated.

Oh you poor things. Both my DCs were like this and didn't sleep until they were 2.5 and 3. With DC 1 the fatigue was awful - we tried everything - and nothing worked - we were zombies. With DC2 we had a plan - one of us slept with DC 2 and the other stayed in our bedroom . Good luck- we did two nights on - two nights off - not great but it kept us sane

I agree totaly with Crafty, just try and go with it. Just one other suggestion three full meals a day is actually a lot of solids for a 7month old. Think about how many milk feeds she is having during the day, she could be trying to catch up at night as upto 90% of there diet still needs to be milk at this age. Some people find a dreamfeed at around 10pm useful to add another feed.

Formula won't make any differences at this age, studies have shown it doesn't actually help babies sleep any longer.

I've been there it is tough, just go with the flow though they do seem to get there on their own.

Ok this is not a permanant solution by any means but it may help you to get some sleep for now and then you can try and sort it out when you are a bit more rested. My baby now 14 months and normally sleeps till half 4/5 and then goes back down with a bottle of cows milk was ebf till 1yr, used to wake hourly from 4 months me ans dh were going up the wall! So when he hit 6 months (sids risk is reduced lots at this point) I just put him in bed with us. Every time he wanted boob in the night I just rolled over and gave it to him. Omg just that extra sleep was amazing. We sorted out the rest by me giving up bf at 1 and switching to a bottle. Well as well as moving him into his own room but we were terrified he would wake his brother (we have a two bed flat so they have to share) one day I left him a bit and his brother did not wake, so I switched to leaving him in his cot not to cry but giving him a bottle as it was cows milk it was easy to warm and I did not have to pay out for formula. Getting him out of his cot was the problem cos he was expecting something iyswim. So co-sleep for now trust me it will really help. And big hugs op as you can see lots of us know what you are going through and just remember it will not last forever.

All sleep training is not CIO.

You can wait for your baby to learn to sleep on her own, or you can sleep-train. Some crying is unavoidable, though.

Thanks everyone for your kind words - it's made me feel quite emotional. I'm sorry that so many of you are in the same boat (or have been) but it's reassuring to know I'm not alone.

Having driven us into the spare room the little sod then slept 3 hours straight next to me! Then up for 90 minutes and now having a nap. Fortunately DH managed to get some sleep and is more human.

I'm going to reread the baby whisperer and see if I'm missing something and I'm going to move DH into the spare room during the week so that he's actually able to function at work.

I'm planning to stop bf'ing at 8 months so hopefully that will begin to break the nighttime association. At the moment it seems to be the only thing that will stop her screaming in the night, so hopefully she will stop waking if it's not on offer anymore.

As people have said I just have to accept it for now and try not to let it stress me out. This too will pass (I hope!)

Thanks everyone - I will update if I get any magical break-thoroughs!

Ooh - re-reading people's comments: just to add, she pretty much self-settles during the day and going down to sleep at night. I put her in her cot very drowsy but not asleep after feeding. In the night I had previously been feeding her back to sleep but she started waking about 5x! So using the baby whisperer pick-up/put-down method she had then been settling herself in the night without a feed (until she got sick). Now it doesn't seem to work (we are talking trying for hours until she's so worked up that sleep is impossible).

Her naps during the day used to be great but have deteriorated. We usually still get an hour or more first thing but then I'm lucky to get two 45 minute naps for the rest of the day. I know this isn't good enough, but again, I can't keep her asleep. Her nights are far better when she has decent daytime sleep.

Also, she does sleep in a grobag and I've been giving her Calpol/Neurofen before bed.

Our 7 month old was been similar, after a lot of miserable nights we are finally making some progress with the No Cry Sleep Solution, despite continuing to cosleep and night feed. If nothing else, it's worth googling the Pantley Pull Off to help with gentle weaning from feeding to sleep!

We do think that the bf to sleep doesn't always help, but agree that formula is not always a solution - we have plenty of ff friends who still have babies who wake frequently, and they don't even have bfing as the last fallback! That said, if it lets DH take a shift and you to get some rest it might well work for you.

Agree with going to bed as early as possible and doing what you need - and also remembering that taking an hour to go to sleep and waking multiple times in the night and feeding every 4 hours is totally within the bounds of normal at this age, even though it sucks.

On the subject of feeding, is DD definitely getting enough milk around the solids? Her solids are likely to be lower calorie than milk at this stage, so it could be that she is hungry at night and trying to make up some extra? If you feed 20-30 minutes before solids it can help to get a good balance.

Really importantly, DH's stress level sounds like it must be really hard going for him and for you - and even 7 month olds can tell if a parent is very upset and it doesn't help the sleep process. Is he particularly exhausted, or is it that he has a lot of anxiety around putting her to sleep? If there is something you can both do to address this it might also help the situation go from 'broken' to 'crappy-sleep-stage-that-will-pass'.

Thanks Sunny - we did try the no cry sleep solution first, but unfortunately for us the Pantley pull-off was pants! I know it's worked for friends but it just didn't do it for DD. She does settle with feeding, it's just that I think she should settle without it as it won't always be an option if you see what I mean?

DH is not a morning person, he's a night owl. So he finds it harder to go to sleep early and then struggles when she's up before the crack if dawn. I tend to try to get to sleep by 10pm, but he's later. He also struggles to get back to sleep once he's awake (whereas I go straight off). All this adds up to a less than ideal situation, especially as he's a lawyer and has to be very detail-focused at work (which is hard when tired).

Good thinking on upping milk during the day though - will try this as currently 3-4 hrs between milk feeds.

I also was like this at 7 months and DD slept through for the first time at 11 months. It's hell but it changes.

We took out one feed at a time. At 7 months she was Bf 3 times a night at 11, 1 and 4. We cut out 1am first. Around 9 months we cut out 4 and at 10 we cut out 11.

We did it by taking it in turns to stretch the feed from 1 to 4. So on night 1 DP stayed up between 1 and 3 to comfort her and walk round cuddling etc and I got up to feed at 3. Night 2 I did my stint and so on until she started waking around 3. We gradually eeked this to 4. This took about a week each time and was hideous as we were both working full time (we started on a bank holiday to make it easier but that's not an option ).

It really really will get easier. Try to go easy on yourselves xx

My DH is also terrible at night wakings. It got really stressful and so now I do all the nights, but he takes DS from whenever he wakes up and has the first feed of the day (usually 5-6am) and plays, does breakfast, gets him dressed etc while I get an hour or more sleep or just time to myself.

This is a bit unequal, but I am no more tired and it has also been great for DH and DS to have the special time together, especially as DH often isn't home until late. Best, though, is no more competitive tiredness discussions

Don't waste time reading the Baby Whisperer when you could be asleep - that book should be burnt. It offered no help for babies who aren't robot babies who can't stand shhh pat or PUPD.

For now do whatever gets you all the most amount of sleep. When you are a bit less tired then try eeking out night time sleep.

Second getting as much food/milk into her during the day. Our local Children's centre runs a sleep clinic- one piece of advice was to stick a mattress in my DD's room and kip there - if I caught DD as soon as she stirred,I could get her back down. If I left her to see if she would settle again she'd get more wound up.

If she can self settle I suspect it is just developmental and she'll get there in her own sweet time.

can't add much except that I seem to remember DS turning into a beast around 7 mo (I remember because it was when we moved into new house and it just went bonkers). Waking 4/5 times a night, screaming unless he was bf back to sleep. He basically did this til he was 13 mo, to varying degrees, when I and DP hit the wall, and I night weaned and he is a different baby. He now sleeps 7pm-5am without a peep, regularly, and DP and I often get 6/7 hrs.

Also, DP had a bit of an emotional break down too about a year ago, due to lack of sleep, when DS was about 3 mo, and only now is feeling more human.

Some gentle sleep training won't hurt your baby. Sleep deprivation CAN hurt you!!

I used a lot of this advice to night wean DS, might be a bit too much for a 7mo but might have some useful pointers.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/a1394888-What-worked-for-us-Hope-this-helps

I would completely stop any night feeds.

Feed her an hour before any solids so you know she is getting enough milk and calories in the day.

I would also try x3 naps a day, and later bedtime.
Try 9am -1 hr
1pm- 2hrs
4.30- 30/45mins

Then 8/8.30pm bedtime. You have said your better night people anyway, so it would be much nicer for you if she eventually does 8am-8pm

If you think she still needs a night feed I would semi wake her for a dreamfeed at 11pm

totally agree with everything crafty said.

ds2 was a terrible sleeper, woke every 45-90 minutes for milk, all night.

your little girl is still tiny! it's normal for her to want milk in the night, and to need the comfort and security she gets from breastfeeding.

My 7 month old is in bed for 6:15. We've just gone through this stage, was settling ok and then got cold, cough, infection etc. wouldn't settle and was waking every hour b

Anyway. We switched from a 7pm bedtime to start getting everything ready for bed at 5:30. We also stopped feeding to sleep or nearly sleep, so now it's bedtime bottle at 5:30 downstairs, so awake, then bath for twenty mins, then dried off, story time and into cot awake. I've used gradual withdrawal method, we've been doing it a week and she's already dropped the night feed and down to just a couple of wake ups.

It's so hard but its getting better.

Ds did this at 6 mo just as I was getting ready to return to work. We side carred the cot so semi co slept. He slept brought again.
DP and I were on our knees before with tiredness!

I think the combination of being ill, clocks changing, and growth spurt have upset the system.

I think you just have to persevere, try to get the day time naps to last a bit longer (I found white noise helped).

Are you sure there isn't anything waking her from her naps?

I wouldn't expect a 7 month old to sleep longer than about 6 hours at a stretch at night - especially if they were going to bed as early as 7pm.

Any illness makes babies regress. It is normal.

Definitely take turms at night so that one of you gets some sleep.

Hi, please please help!!!! Dd just doesn't sleep more than 1 or 1,5 hr without waking during the night and waking up every 30 minutes during day sleep!!!!

me and my dh totally giving up and so tired. Our daughter is 7 month and bf. She is a lovely baby and very active... Should say hyper..when she was 3 month she settled down for a good sleep routine. Slept from 7 till 2 then feed then sleep until 7. But something changed since. Now she is waking up every hour or max 1,5 and she can't fall asleep by herself just with rocking or feeding. She normally starts to moan then cry if I don't pick her up or start to feed. We tried to just pat or stroke her, but she just kept crying and then woke up..what means no sleep for 2 hrs....she doesn't want to take dummy or settle with bottle. (we are trying dummy and bottle since she born). We tried bed time routine, white noise etc. Nothing worked. Also she's got 4 teeth already but can't see others coming just now. Any idea what could we do? We don't have any help or family member to ask and health visitor, gp, totally ignoring us. Only thing we didn't try the cry out but I would prefer not to. Thank you for reading 🙏

Zombie thread

@mirzam89 you don’t need to try cry it out, tour baby is normal. Wait it out, it won’t last forever and is normal.