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Original poster

DH totally broken. 7 month old just won't sleep

48 replies

Novia · 03/11/2013 03:46

Just had to take the baby from my sobbing husband as he totally broke down after we've spent over an hour (again) trying to get her to sleep. I'm currently in the spare room with her latched on in bed which is a total regression for us.

Just don't know what to do anymore. DD is bf and 7 months old. We implemented the baby whisperer method a couple of weeks ago and it was (initially) a revelation as she just woke once for food. Then she got sick and the clocks changed and it just doesn't work anymore - her stamina is greater than ours.

I feel that we are at the end of our tether and I just don't know what to go. CIO isn't something I want to do but this can't continue either. Any advice would be appreciated.

OP posts:
Original poster
Novia · 03/11/2013 03:48

Just to add, she really taken to weaning which we started at 5 months and eats 3 good meals per day. We have a bath/bedtime ritual and she goes to bed between 7-7.30.

OP posts:
MatildaMai · 03/11/2013 03:50

I know this might be an unpopular suggestion, but try this: We put DD in her highchair in front of the computer last night for 5 mins whilst DH and I moved a piece of furniture. It was a good 2 hours before her bedtime. The next thing we know, we heard a 'donk' and she'd fallen asleep Grin

MatildaMai · 03/11/2013 03:52

... also, I would maybe give her formula at night (another unpopular suggestion, I guess). The formula for hungrier babies is very filling and we found DD slept much better after a nice warm bottle.

Original poster
Novia · 03/11/2013 03:54

Just to add, she really taken to weaning which we started at 5 months and eats 3 good meals per day. We have a bath/bedtime ritual and she goes to bed between 7-7.30.

OP posts:
MatildaMai · 03/11/2013 03:55

I think you are putting her to bed too early.

Original poster
Novia · 03/11/2013 03:59

Thanks Matilda but she can barely keep her eyes open by the time we put her to bed - I honestly don't think we could do it any later without a total meltdown. Also, giving her formula is not an option for me as she has been ebf and won't take a bottle. I do play music as we put her down for a sleep but tbh - getting her down isn't an issue - it's the constant wakung up from 1.30am onwards and then up got the day from 5am! Confused

OP posts:
Iheartcustardcreams · 03/11/2013 04:08

I feel for you. I am currently up with my 6month old. Nights are getting worst and he has recently gone from being ebf to bottles and has 3 meals a day. Wakes every 2 hours:-( no advice really, but you are not alone.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 03/11/2013 04:12

Is she in her own room? DS is a great sleeper but the 16 week growth spurt nearly killed me

DH thought he could smell milk and had got into a lovely habit of having three feeds a night in bed with me. I know, it's against advice, but we put him in his room as off 18 weeks and he was sleeping through again with a dream feed at 10 that he dropped at around 7 months.

There is a 6 month growth spurt so I would get her in her own room if she's not and try a dream feed at 10 if you don't do that already to make sure she's full. Then you know it's not hunger

How does she sleep during the day? I find if DS doesn't have two good naps (and at stage he sometimes had 3), then he could be harder to settle at bedtime.

Other things - can she self-settle at all and for some reason isn't in the middle of the night or do you rock/feed her to sleep at bedtime and she now expects it in the middle of the night? no judgements, just trying to work out what's what

You both have my sympathy - it's very hard

Boonyjinkies · 03/11/2013 04:13

If she sleeps 7.30 til 1.30, six hours I would seriously drop back bedtime. Is it possible to get her to nap more in the day so she isn't so shattered by 7.30? Does she sleep in a grobag? I found that helped. You have my sympathies.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 03/11/2013 04:25

Sorry - final point. Have you tried giving some calpol and made sure she's not un pain/teething?

Athrawes · 03/11/2013 05:21

I have no helpful suggestions about the baby because frankly they are demons. But. Can you possibly leave her with a friend or relative for the night - even if this just means 10 - 6 in a motel down the road so that you and your DH can get 8 hrs sleep. Brush your teeth before you go and literally just sleep. It helps. Humans were not designed to do this on our own.

Chubfuddler · 03/11/2013 05:30

There's a lot of stages between allowing a seve. Month old to graze bf to sleep and CIO . I never set much store by the baby whisperer. I never tried it but the no cry sleep solution has a lot of fans.

I got into a similar feed to sleep trap with both of mine, I would never say stop bfing but you do need to sever the link in your baby's mind between boob and sleep.

peskyginge · 03/11/2013 05:32

Have you tried a dummy? My bf 5 nth old sometimes will only settle with one but I have to hold him so he faces me so he can't spit it out. It save me keeping him on the boob!!

MatildaMai · 03/11/2013 05:35

I agree that a dummy is a good idea.

docsarah · 03/11/2013 06:52

Formula made no difference to our DD's ability to sleep, so don't introduce a bottle expecting miracles. Not much to add except sympathy - we coslept when DD was at her worst. She's nearly 8 months, also puts away 3 good meals a day and her sleep varies between OK and crap. Oh, and she can also get herself to sleep at bedtime, no props needed.

I've resigned myself to putting up with it and hope she won't be like this forever.

headlesslambrini · 03/11/2013 07:02

DS was like this but his problem was that he had a dummy which fell out and he needed it to drop back off. Our HV said to take the dummy off him and within a week or so he was sleeping through again.

From what you describe I dont think hunger is the problem, i think she needs to learn to self soothe.

Kahlua4me · 03/11/2013 07:16

We used www.millpondsleepclinic.com a children's sleep clinic in London.

It may be worth you contacting them to see if they can help.

peanutMD · 03/11/2013 07:30

Novia i could've written that post, my 7 month old has the same sleep pattern as yours and I'm exhausted by it too :(

DD has never really slept during the day and is literally exhausted by 7-7.30pm so no chance of keeping her awake. Generally she wakes at 11pm, 1am, 3am and ready to face the day at 5ish and there are times when i think i just can't cope anymore but somehow we do it and you can too!

DP and I feel like we have no relationship anymore as the minute we have spare time, instead of spending it talking or doing something together we choose to sleep but I'm hooping we can get through it

We're in a 2 bedroom house atm and our 7 year old FS is in one of those so going to try setting a travel cot up in his room next weekend to see if she'll style better but not holding it much hope as i really don't want it to affdct him IYSWIM.

Heyho it can't last forever (surely)

Captainbarnacles1101 · 03/11/2013 07:38

I don't want to be a bore but my youngest is 20 months. I'm on my own now and he is just like this. I have been sitting down stairs since 0530 trying to get him to be quiet so he doesn't waken the others.
I have tried every sleep training solution out there but his will is stronger than mine.
Sending u much love and if u find a cure send it to me pls.

Hemlock2013 · 03/11/2013 07:45

My dd was also like this... Bf, which was the only thing that settled her etc. for me, not much worked although we tried everything except cc. In the end I just went with it, fed her when she woke etc, let dp sleep through so if needed he could take her downstairs in the morning and I could lie in.

It sounds mad but when i decided to stop fighting her it became much easier.

I don't know whether there is a quick fix for these things. I guess they get better when they are ready so just do whatever you need to do to make it easier on yourselves.

X

rowrowrowtheboat · 03/11/2013 07:46

Novia, your method worked before your baby became ill and the clocks changed. Think back to which bit was most successful, and then focus on that. Try both of you keeping to the same tactics for 3 nights at least.

My two were hard to re settle at night (Both BF) and, especially with DD2, illness broke any good sleeping patterns and we had to work hard to re-establish them. DD1 would quickly settle back, but DD2 took a couple of weeks. She is a creature of habit and very insistent for what she wants!

It will get better.

LovesBeingHereAgain · 03/11/2013 07:49

You need to tetras tge baby whisperer if that's what you need to follow and reassess your baby's type. You might need to follow slightly different rules.

cantthinkofagoodone · 03/11/2013 07:50

At 7 months old the culprits are teething, development -ccrawling, pulling up & cruising and seperation anxiety.

As you're not into CIO, upon waking I'd offer calpol and then sit for 15 minutes until it kicks in, singing, shh-pating as you do.

Then back into the cot and settle her in there. She will get the message. Let her know you're there but don't over stimulate.

At 7 months with good solids I wouldn't be offering milkbefore 8 hhours have passed.

Hth, this too shall pass. Until then, fair distribution of night and early morning duties and ear plugs for the off duty parent x

Hemlock2013 · 03/11/2013 07:57

Just to add my dd is now a year and started sleeping through at 11 months. Without any sleep training really. She may have sttn earlier but I honestly didn't have the energy.

MinesAPintOfTea · 03/11/2013 08:03

Another suggestion: you go to bed as soon as she does. You should get 6 hours then. It will pass.