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Original poster

6 month old night waking - cant cope

46 replies

washngo · 28/09/2013 08:25

My 6 month old wakes 3,4 or 5 times a night. Every time she wakes she wants to be fed (bf). However, feeding does not always settle her. She can be awake and crying, either in her cot, in my arms being rocked, whatever I do she keeps crying.

I am at the end of my tether. I have a 5 yo and a 3 yo, when they were babies they had the occasional night like this, but this is every night (for at least 2 months) I am grumpy with my older children, I am so tired I don't even feel safe to drive. My relationship with dh is really suffering due to my tiredness because I'm snappy and unpleasant towards him and moany about the tiredness.

I feel like I have to do something, because I cannot go on like this. But I can't see a solution. I've tried not feeding her, and just comforting her with cuddles, rocking, a dummy, but she screams and screams and does not give up. Last night I lasted 1 hour trying to comfort her with pick up put down type methods before I caved and fed her.

Please help me - I am worried this lack of sleep will destroy my relationships with the rest of my family :(

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Original poster
washngo · 28/09/2013 08:30

Ps I should say that during the day she is a smiley happy baby, and takes reasonable naps. It is only at night she is so screamy. I also feel that because she feeds at night she takes v little milk during the day. I don't know how to break the cycle.

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CoteDAzur · 28/09/2013 08:41

Well, the way to break that cycle is obviously to not feed her in the night. She will eat/drink more in the day to compensate and her body will soon adjust to the new "meal time" schedule.

It is best to do this at the weekend when your DH can be the one to go to her when she wakes. Your baby smells the milk on you and of course won't go back to sleep without a feed.

Original poster
washngo · 28/09/2013 08:50

If I don't feed her she gets very cross and screams and does shorty crying, without giving in for v long periods. I worry that this is bad for her if allowed to go onto long. Even if dh goes in she is the same. What do you reckon? Should I still persevere not feeding?

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Original poster
washngo · 28/09/2013 08:50

Shorty=shouty

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Original poster
washngo · 28/09/2013 08:51

Onto = on too

Sorry!

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CityDweller · 28/09/2013 09:31

Is she on solids? Could new foods be upsetting her tummy at night?

Original poster
washngo · 28/09/2013 09:53

Yes she is on solids, but I try to only give her something bland like baby rice in the evening, and do fruit and veg purees for breakfast and lunch...

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Original poster
washngo · 29/09/2013 20:50

New lows last night, was awake pretty much all night. Didn't know it was possible to be this tired :(

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CoteDAzur · 29/09/2013 21:11

There is an answer but I don't know if you want to hear it.

Stop night feeds.
When she wakes, DH goes in to comfort her & put her back to sleep without a feed.
She will cry lots for a night or two but then her metabolism will adjust and she will sleep through.

ScottishDiblet · 29/09/2013 21:16

The book by Alison Scott-wright called the sensational baby sleep plans explains how to cut out night feeds. Good luck. X

Beamur · 29/09/2013 21:19

That must be so very hard for you and your family.
If it wasn't for the older children I'd say ride it out, but this must be affecting you all.
I'm with Cote - I think you may have to be a bit brutal to persuade your LO that you're not going to spend all evening with her. As a bf baby though she is not going to accept your attempts to settle without feeding - if I'd tried to settle my DD without a feed she would have been furious and worked herself up to a state that kept her awake even longer (sound familiar?) your DH is going to have to do the nights until she has adjusted and settled. Personally, I'd want to offer a feed in the night in case she is hungry, but could you express or offer formula instead? Is there any way that you could sleep elsewhere for a night or two just so you can get a good quality nights sleep?

Original poster
washngo · 29/09/2013 23:28

Thank you. Am going to try not feeding her tonight. She is currently screaming her head off in the other room. About to go and give her a cuddle (but no milk) Dh not being terribly helpful :(

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Original poster
washngo · 29/09/2013 23:40

This is ridiculous - she screams every time I leave the room, stops when I pick her up. I am so exhausted I just want to give in and I don't know what to do. Dh won't help me, think he reckons I should just feed her?! I feel so cruel not feeding her but am so exhausted I just can't carry on like this. I can feel my will power ebbing away...

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Original poster
washngo · 29/09/2013 23:41

I've been and given her a bit of water. We are both crying. How can this be right?

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Original poster
washngo · 30/09/2013 00:03

Still awake. She's fine when I'm cuddling her, even if not feeding. I've been rocking her and patting her but she shows no signs of sleeping. I don't understand it...how can she not be exhausted - she hardly slept last night and is still awake now!! Poor little sausage, off to give her more cuddles..

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Original poster
washngo · 30/09/2013 00:22

Aaargh! Just managed to rock her to sleep. Held her sleeping for 5 mins, then the minute I put her in her cot screaming starts again. I do not know how to get through this I honestly feel so miserable.

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lolalotta · 30/09/2013 00:27

Can you put a warm (not boiling) hot water bottle in her cot to warm the mattress? Might feel more comforting to her when she's put down?

lolalotta · 30/09/2013 00:31

When I attended a sleep clinic with 11 month old DD they told me to stop BF at night and when she woke for a feed to stick my hand through the cot bars (no eye contact) lay my hand on her tummy gently and say " sleepy time now" quietly and continue doing this until she settled and then creep out. Repeat as necessary. It worked for us, but my DD has always been quite lazy and couldn't 't be bothered when she realised she wasn't 'y going to get fed!

Original poster
washngo · 30/09/2013 00:31

Thanks Lola that is a good idea, will give it a try

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Original poster
washngo · 30/09/2013 06:33

Ok, so I managed to get her to sleep at about 1 without a feed. She woke up at 4am, and I decided 6.30 til 4am is quite a good long time so gave her a quick 5 min feed and she is still asleep now. Big children are awake of course but there we go! So a LOT less feeding than the previous night. So my new rule will be no feeds until morning (even if morning is 4am!).

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KB02 · 30/09/2013 06:43

I really feel for you as my little one was similar but we ended up co sleeping. He is 17 months now and sometimes sleeps all night in cot but mostly comes in about 230 or 330 with us . Some nights he still feeds loads so I don't get enough sleep.

I would be interested to hear how you get on the next few nights. Good luck.

neontetra · 30/09/2013 06:54

Was just about to suggest co sleeping. I always thought I would have had no problems with dd's sleep if I'd co slept, and were I to have another baby I would find a safe way of doing so.

CoteDAzur · 30/09/2013 07:11

That's very good, washngo Smile

KB02 · 30/09/2013 07:13

'The No Cry Sleep Solution' has guidelines on safer co-sleeping.

GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 30/09/2013 07:27

I guess it depends why she's asking. If she wants feeding them the other posters are right and you need to try and let your partner do it for a couple of nights. If she can't be alone then she needs to learn to settle herself. After the last feed of the night, put her down in her cot awake, give her the dummy (if she has one), a teddy or other sleep association comfort thing. And walk out of the room. If she grumbles, ignore. When it escalated into crying, go in, pick her up, hold until she stops crying, put her back down again, leave the room. Repeat as many times as it takes for her to relax without you in the room.
This is what worked for us. My baby is almost a year and still wakes multiple times during the night, but during many of them, she settles herself. She has woken this much every night since she was four months old and it's not because she's hungry or needs anything. I wouldn't say the amount if waking has really improved but it helped for her to learn that she was ok in her room without one of us in there with her. And we never left her to cry.