Dd is nearly a year and we still don't get an evening, she wakes several times a night then wakes at 4.45 every day. Will it ever improve?

[used2bthin]

I am really struggling today as also have older child with autism and complicated medical needs. I am exhausted and fed up. We are in a house that is too small with a grumpy neighbour living above us who dh over heard say f-ing baby today in response to dd2 screaming,again.

She really is a screams baby. Beautiful and adorable but very stroppy, wants to be independant in the day but over dependant at night! And I know its habits I have got her into but its very hard to be strict with teaching her to self settle when in our situation and I just keep hoping it will improve at some point.

The evening thing is really getting to me now as we had three evenings where she slept from 7.30 and stayed asleep aside from waking for the dummy, till 11 Ish, had a bottle then slept till five Ish. That is a very very good night for her but it didn't last and we are now back to waking and not settling. Anyone got any stories of babies suddenly sleeping?

Dd doesn't eat that well but I have improved things by simply offering her small bits all day.
I know that feeling when you know they've not eaten and your in for a bad one.
Also definitely light and fresh air as late as possible.
We often march dd around the park before her tea or bath.
I think they wake feeling hungry.

Well my hubby s just picked her up early to take her to a petting farm , here's hoping that she sleeps well

Zzzz ha ha I think I need a name change! Dummies are great but yes , it's not always great as they fall out!

I am not sure she eats enough in the day. She picks at stuff so maybe I need to pack in more snacks rather than less as she only occasionally has a big tea anyway.

She does get a bit of sunlight each day and has had a play in the garden this evening too, often does as its one place I can handle both of them ok. Yes she has a cot in our room, she unfortunately will never be able to go in with her sister so I am not sure what we are going to do till we can afford to move, possibly buy a sofa bed and sleep downstairs. Yes she has a bath about an hour before bed but it is not particularly calming as it is with dd1 who is noisy and exciting!

If she drank a bottle and was more settled after, then maybe she needs milk?

I have to say, in your situation, I'd bring her into bed with me and stick her on the boob, even though you did stop a month ago. Your milk would come back pretty quickly and at least you could be horizontal and not battling her. She will grow out of all this, but all the battling to change stuff may in fact not make the blindest bit of difference. She may just change when she's ready regardless of what you do or don't do. I find it easier to try to live through each phase rather than 'fix' the problem IYSWIM.

I hope you get more sleep soon.

Thank you. According to the hv I give her too much milk! I don't want to go back to feeding I don't think but I could always just decide to give her a bottle at that time and do something like bring a flask up to make it easier. Only thing is I realised I also gave calpol at five today as she has this foot infection so could have been that.

I know what you mean sometimes it just isn't worth the stress and short term is too stressful to worry about long term, today I knew I had a hard day so I needed to do whatever it took.

Kiwi fruit ? Why so ? If it' works I'm off to the shop to
Buy some

Aah, I may try this ...
Zzzzz, apart from the kiwi , I do almost identical to what you suggest .... I do give her a bath before bed then a bottle if she will have it and then lay her down awake , she will grizzle but then drop off , it's the nightly feeds that I need to conquer

You are doing well getting her to self settle though middlesexmummy, I keep worrying that's why dd wakes so often because she needs me to get her to sleep.

Zzzz wow she had kiwi fruit today fingers crossed!! And yes I am ignoring the hv, funnily enough she also said about sleep training then when I said but dd1 will wake then its two hours of stress or more, her being awful next day and having a bad day at school etc etc she said yes you are right there is too much going on do whatever you think! Did not know that about drop in temp either thank you.

I will love you forever if it works! Dh put her to bed tonight as she is better for him but she woke up an hour later and is ow asleep next to me, I so want an evening with out her!

DS2 started sleeping when he got to three and a half

important link about self soothing or settling

My dd has several cry outs before we go to bed within an hour of settling , I do check and more than
Likely it s a dummy situation , I've ordered that sleepy tot today as well !!! If its not ill let her cry and often it's over in a few mins , u learn to tell when it's distress
Zzzz , she does have a snack before bed , in fact today I think she s eatan more than me !!!
Today went like this
5am 4 oz feed back to bed till 730
8am a full packet of porridge and juice
930 snack at nursery crumpet and fruit plus milk
1130 lunch : chicken curry and rice plus a pud
3 pm herby bread slice of bread with fish paste ( seems to love it ) chocolate cake pudding
430 1 quarter of a cheese sandwich plus yoghurt
6 pm ; a quarter bowl of weetabix
7 pm 4 oz milk
I really don't know where she puts it

Argh I will collapse by three and a half! Mind you sleeping through is not even my goal any more, just an evening plus reasonable amount of sleep or her waking then being quickly back to sleep without hours of tossing and turning and squarking.

That is really interesting about self soothing. Dd1 did settle herself to sleep to begin with then later I would pat her back and cuddle her, till she was about sixteen months yet she still slept beautifully.

How's she doing now usedtobethin. Great name btw

Very interesting thread and link. Am in a similar situation to OP as DS2, 13 months, wakes every 1.5 hours (or 45 minutes on a bad night). We cosleep and BFeed and would like to continue both but get more sleep. Will try the advice above...

OP: have you tried feeding your baby more protein (which will keep her fuller for longer) and less fibre. Not many people realise Weetabix is not good for babies as they fill up on the fibre and therefore do not get all the nutrients they need. Am on the phone so cannot scroll back to re-read your posts but would try and change the Weetabix to perhaps pasta with vegetables, oil and cheese.

Thanks she has been asleep downstairs since nine Ish maybe earlier but it meant dh sat with her, I have slept which is good. She starts in the cot just only stays there if one of us is here!

Suigeneris thank you I definitely think she needs to eat more and she loves meat so protein should a good one to increase.

Meant to say she is now on me again having a bottle!

Hi
Tried to ignore the screams just now but have given in and she s just had 4 oz , quietness prevails .....