Dd is nearly a year and we still don't get an evening, she wakes several times a night then wakes at 4.45 every day. Will it ever improve?

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I am really struggling today as also have older child with autism and complicated medical needs. I am exhausted and fed up. We are in a house that is too small with a grumpy neighbour living above us who dh over heard say f-ing baby today in response to dd2 screaming,again.

She really is a screams baby. Beautiful and adorable but very stroppy, wants to be independant in the day but over dependant at night! And I know its habits I have got her into but its very hard to be strict with teaching her to self settle when in our situation and I just keep hoping it will improve at some point.

The evening thing is really getting to me now as we had three evenings where she slept from 7.30 and stayed asleep aside from waking for the dummy, till 11 Ish, had a bottle then slept till five Ish. That is a very very good night for her but it didn't last and we are now back to waking and not settling. Anyone got any stories of babies suddenly sleeping?

You sound really tired. I can't remember when if got better with mine but it does, eventually. Hang in there. Do you get any chance for a nap during the day?

Is she getting enough sleep in the daytime?

Ds2 is 13mths and if he's overtired by the evening he is a nightmare and wakes frequently even though he's usually good at self settling. He usually (other than when affected by teething/heat/cold/hunger etc) will nap for 2 hrs in the afternoon, sometimes an hour in the morning as well, go to bed between 6-6.30pm, wake sometime between 10-11pm to BF and then wakes sometime between 3-4am for another feed and then sleeps til between 7-8am.

At this age I think they are so affected by all the developmental changes, frequent teething, desire for more independence, frustration at not being able to walk etc that the sleep can be difficult. Ds1 had a similar difficult phase and he settled down by 15mo and was sleeping through by then and has been wonderful at sleeping ever since (other behaviour is a different matter...)

Good luck - it's really hard with the lack of sleep.

Thanks . She has a foot infection ATM so probably worse than usual but tbh it's never been anything but awful at night. Gave up breast feeding about a month ago too so now don't have hat to fall back on either. She is inconsistent with naps in the day so I find it hard to relax especially as I down coffee to stay awake but I do sometimes have a rest when she naps.

Just really sick of feeling ill and tired all the time.

I really feel for you, it is awful when you just don't get any time to relax. On threads like this I always ask if the OP has had the DC's ears checked, as we went through a terrible time (including neighbours banging on the walls in the night and accusing us of leaving our child to cry for hours, when she was actually inconsolable in the bed with us).

DD2 had glue ear and lots of painful ear infections. They were pretty obvious, and very gunky, however DD1 also had glue ear and ear infections but rarely presented with obvious symptoms.

Hope you get it sorted, they do settle down eventually, or are able to occupy themselves in bed on their own. Best of luck.

How long does she nap in the afternoon? Does she have a feed before that? If so what is it? Does the older DC wake her? Do you have black out blinds? Does she have a musical mobile or a light on? Is there lots of traffic on your road at that time? Do the street lights go off?

Lots of questions but just trying to get a background.

Thanks cassell. Was your Ds as bad as her before that? I have been wondering if I will have to wait till I can reason with her which would be years!

She started walking at ten months and is a.ways on the go but incredibly hard to settle and I a, still resorting to rocking her in the pushchair a lot. Sometimes she naps brilliantly and others she wakes the minute I put her down . Dd1 had a routine by this age but dd2 seems to change between long nap in morning and short one in afternoon, one nap 11 Ish or shirt one morning, long one in afternoon! I never know if she has too much or not enough but I do know if she sleeps after four she won't go down even briefly at half seven.

DS was a rubbish sleeper, it really does grind you down doesn't it.

I seemed to have spent the first 2 years of his life trying to get him to go to sleep and stay asleep. He only really started sleeping properly a week before his 2nd birthday - the first night he slept for a 5 hour stretch and I was so pleased but assumed it was a one off....but he kept doing it and the stretches of sleep gradually got longer. He pretty much sleeps through from 8pm until 7am now.

Looking back I don't know how I got through it, so I do understand your pain.

Some babies just don't sleep very well, despite our best efforts.

She will start sleeping at some point, hopefully soon.

Does she have a daytime nap? I always found that if DS didn't nap for long enough it really affected him in the evening.

Ooh sorry I am behind. I will get her ears checked good idea as dd1 has glue ear too. She is the same even in my bed which is very tough as its like threes nothing I can do to keep her quiet.

Ruby she naps when dd1 is at school but yes dd1 always wakes her when she's here, in fact she has always hated her sleeping and has woken her very suddenly with a poke or shove before now so I think she finds it hard to relax and needs me near. Any tiny noise wakes her, me turning over in bed for example. And despite black out curtains, a quilt and towel over the window light comes in!

Yes she usually has a bottle before a sleep and a cuddle or at best will settle with me next to her when she is in her cot but she hates that and it takes a while.

My dd is now two and we are stil crossing our fingers that the latest improvement sticks.
We have had two years of random waking a or ridiculously early wakes.
I have tried loads if techniques but here is what has worked.
Plenty to eat (all day) not just at tea time. I had to increase snacks to do this.
Really look at nap times. Not after 3 and for longer than 1.5 hrs also not too early esp after an early morning.
Lots of fresh air and excercise.
All simple but combined have really helped.
I'm not going to suggest techniques but I have found consistently re settling in her cot has helped and not getting her out.
I hope that helps a bit because its awful I know.

Mildred thanks he sounds like her! The only time she has slept solidly for that's sort of time she has turned out to be ill! I really hope she just starts improving, I was so hopeful after the three evenings. Dh and I barely see each other and we got on loads better just for having had three evenings with out her there crying or taking it in turns with her. I can't believe its still so bad, I just had it so easy sleep wise with dd1 she slept from eight weeks better than this!

Thank you. I think she does sleep better possibly when I have made her settle in her cot for her nap. I just can't work out what is the best time for a nap, today she skipped the moving nap so did half twelve to ten past two but then was way too tired all afternoon and is still on me now, sleeping then whining and fidgeting.

I am just panicking actually as she hasn't eaten that much today. Bet I a, in for a bad night, you are so right with the making sure she has eaten plenty.

dd2 was 13 months, and it didn't happen till we moved her out of our room.

i hope it happens for you soon. the fatigue is unbelievably tough.

I am in a tricky situation with that as we have a two bed house. She was going to share with her sister but it isn't safe so she won't be and it will be near impossible for us to move for a while. I am considering buying a sofa bed and sleeping downstairs as I wonder if that part of the issue.but thank you yes it is awful and creeps into everything. And I really hope my dd sleeps at thirteen months you never know.

Got up to put her dummy in ten times between midnight and five. Each time from asleep to high pitched loud screams immediately until I put the dummy in. Have given in and got her a bottle as I have an important meeting today , wouldn't usually so will see what happens now.

My son didn't keep til he was three. I went through my second pregnancy grey with exhaustion. I would say one thing though:we always regretted not cracking the sleeping before he started walking...into our room crying every night. It's really hard when you have neighbours, ours used to scream at us from upstairs and downstairs which meant couldn't do controlled crying properly.

Have you thought about be of these lullaby sheep?

Hi
I'm there too , my dd is 14 months and never slept thru . Last night she went to bed at 7 with 2 waking s before 12 then at 1230 was hungry , slept till 5 then more milk then up at 730

Thanks,I have bought so many things but anything musical or lights distracts her and she thinks its play time.

She has been walking a while but is in a cot so I do know what you mean. Though if it makes you feel better my good sleeper started coming in to me once in a bed and it tookk me two years to sort!! I did the start of this pregnancy like that it is awful but I remember thinking well I may as well have a newborn now as iam always up. Then she started sleeping seven till seven and has since thankfully.it totally ruins things doesn't it!

Btw she slept just now since the bottle. Although it wasn't good to do as she shouldn't be having one at that time I am sort of glad as it means I've had an hour and half before a busy day.

Hi middlesexmummy! She sounds like mine! Am off to down coffee and feel jittery all day! It just affects everything doesn't it.

Is she losing the dummy every time? Have you got one of those sleepytot dummy savers which keeps four dummies on its paws?

Nope that is one thing we haven't got thanks will have a look for those! Yes she is although she is very able to stick it back in herself and sometimes she pulls it out and is screaming holding it! Argh!

Hi there
I just don't get it , she wakes when she s eatan for England in the day and still hungry and also wakes when she s hardly eatan ( teething usually) just at my wits end trying to second guess the little madam lol . Am going to try and reintroduce the dream feed tonight on the hope that it will stop the early morning waking . I can cope with 5 am as she will go back to sleep for a whole but 12 and 2 am waking s, noooooo ( :