Support thread for getting DC into own room

[Forgetfulmog]

Hi!

I've been co-sleeping with dd for about 4 months now (completely unintentional - she just wouldn't settle on her own). Anyway she's now 8.5 months & have decided that tonight is the night we will start putting her in her own cot in her own room. Aaarghhh!

She's ebf & atm wakes up 1-2 hourly for feeds. Hopefully this won't continue in her own room!

DH & I are going to try the NCSS, but I suspect we may just end up making it up as we go along . We are completely anti cc (no offence to anyone who's tried it, but it's just not for us). We've agreed that, no matter what, dd is not coming into our bed (famous last words!).

So, anyone else trying to get their DC into their own room & want to share tips, concerns or rants??

[Wiggy29]

Primal- bless you& bless the giant pile of poo under the jumperoo! Have I read right that your dc is fully awake&up in between sleeps in the night then?

Forgetful- that all sounds positive& the dummy thing is very cute.

It all went a bit pear shaped last night, ds now has a stinking cold (as do I so we're both tired& cranky). He woke for an extra feed& dp could only get him back to sleep with dummy which he doesn't normally need at night.

Shattered but trying not to be deterred. He's twisty now but I'm trying to only use dummy as last resort. I'll let you know how day time naps in cot go, I'd try him for his next one but ds1 still asleep&don't want to wake him. I'll keep you posted.

[Wiggy29]

Just to update, after an utterly pants night, today was fab! we swaddled him, gave him a cuddle with his dummy and when he started to look heavy eyed, we put him down in the cot with his little lights and sounds projector on- worked EVERY time! He didn't cry or twist once. The whole swaddle/ cuddle only took 2-3 minutes so it was great. I think the key was catching him when he was tired but not exhausted. We also managed the whole day without him having his dummy except for naps and he didn't seem phased by this either!

That said, when it came to putting him down at 8ish in our bed, it didn't work as well. I did the same routine but with night time extras e.g. story/ bath/ massage but he took longer to settle, I was up and done the stairs about 6 times when his dummy fell out, but this was only for a few seconds to pop dummy in, stroke his hair to reassure him and that was it.

All in all, really pleased as progress has been made! For now at least, we'll see how the next few days go as he's due his next set of jabs Wed (though he was fine after the first).

Hope you are all hanging in there.

[PrimalChic]

Forgetful, yup it's a gentler version but I still leave him to cry. After 2 weeks if waking 10-15 times a night, I had to.

It's going we'll. he had a 2.5 hour nap at lunchtime after 60 seconds of whinging rather than crying. He also went to sleep tonight ok. He has needed one revisit after 2 mins crying along with 2 breast feeds. The rest of the time, I hear him wake but he just goes back to sleep.

My friend suggested this saying try it, he might surprise you. I had visions of 3 hour scream-offs after reading NCSS but this seems to be working and I'm getting some sleep too!

[Wiggy29]

Primal- that sounds really positive, I'm glad it's working for you&allowing you to get some rest! A good night here except when he woke for feed I forgot to check time so fed at 2 not usual 3:40, meaning he woke at 5 not 6:30 for next feed! My fault not his, should have checked&encouraged him back to sleep. He's had one nap since then which, again, he went down for well.

[Forgetfulmog]

Hi both, glad everything seems to be working out & it's good DS is going without the dummy during the day wiggy.

We had a bit of a mixed night - on the positive side, both DH & I were able to go downstairs after putting dd to bed (actually the first time we've been together alone in the evening for the last 4.5 months !), we had to go up a couple of times to settle her, but all ok. White noise again playing all the time.

Then from about midnight, it all went a bit pear shaped - dd started crying & we couldn't settle her so after about an hr we gave up & brought her into bed with us. She's still snotty bless her. Still we're making progress!

[Forgetfulmog]

Aaarghhh dd would not nap this morning! I went out to meet some friends & got there early so I could walk dd round the park while she slept & she refused to go to sleep, clearly tired, but just spent over an hr whinging. I felt awful as I was almost at screaming point. She did nap then after lunch thankfully though!

How were your days primal & wiggle?

[Forgetfulmog]

Wiggy! Not wiggle . Sorry!

[Wiggy29]

Forget- don't worry, only a daft user name! Great news about you having some time alone, for the past few night's we've been alone from about 8 at night& stupid as it sounds, we felt a bit lost!

Had a great night but he woke at 5:20, ideally we need to maybe put his bedtime back to 8:30 so he wakes 6:15 ish (a more human hour) but hard as by 7:30 he's twisty& ready for bed& don't want to add a later nap (last one normally 4:30ish) as might set night sleep off.

Had a good day but had the opposite problem to you, we went out & he had a giant sleep in push hair so when he woke he'd missed two feeds so even after 1 feed he was still out of sorts& I hadn't produced enough milk to fill him when he was still hungry about 30mins later so he was a bit grumpy for about an hour before they filled for another feed.

Overall though, pretty please that progress is being made&still no dummy except at nap time. Realsised car journeys may have to be an exception to this as he hates them and screams minutes after we set off. Can't be car seat as fine if in it when on pushchair. May be that he gets travel sick?

[Wiggy29]

Excuse typos, on tiny phone key pad with my sausage fingers!

[Forgetfulmog]

Wiggy - dd is a bit like that in the car. We've found that playing 80s rock music helps her to sleep . She also likes Iron Maiden (much to DH's delight!).

I know what you mean about not knowing what to do with yourselves - I'm constantly on edge whilst downstairs just waiting for her to cry!

Well last night didn't go too badly until 2am then she just wouldn't settle - cried as soon as she went in her cot. I have back problems so constant lifting in & out really isn't helping! DH managed to settle her & then she woke up at 3.10 & at that point I gave up & brought her into bed with me. She then slept til 6.20 which is a lie in!

I keep telling myself it doesn't matter if she doesn't spend all night in the cot, as long as she spends most of the time in there, but sometimes I'm just like "why won't she settle?!". Silly trying to apply logic to a baby though!

Another gorgeous day here, hope you enjoy ladies.

Happy, haven't heard from you for a while, all ok?

[happydaze77]

Hi all, we're good thanks forgetful. We're currently just sticking to putting dd in her own room after her dreamfeed - one step at a time hey?! It's going ok so far. . . .
I think dd is the opposite to yours in that she starts the night in our room, then goes into hers, she rarely wakes up during the night but getting her to settle in the first place is challenging. She's also less likely to settle in our bed now, which I sort of miss, a bit. I guess they're all different!
How well does yours nap during the day?

[Forgetfulmog]

Yes we have completely opposite babies Happy! Mine does wake up a fair bit during the night!

Dd still naps on me in the sling (or pushchair if we're out & about). Usually ok, she has 2 naps a day totalling approx 3 hrs (sometimes a bit more). I end up on MN while she naps as can't do anything because she'll wake up!

[happydaze77]

Not so different then - when dd's napping I just sit downstairs, read a book, tv on low etc. Thank goodness for my laptop! It's a good excuse to do nothing. We daren't even make lunch and, as we don't have a downstairs toilet, we're often desperate if she takes a long nap - worth it for the long nap though! They're such light sleepers aren't they?! I can relate fully to your comments about the squeaky floorboards
Where are all these wonderful babies who's parents can move them from carseat to cot/change their nappy/dress them into pj's etc, while they're remain asleep?! I would be seriously worried if our dd ever did that.
Reminds me - did you so the thread 'phrases that make you weep' on mn recently (you probably did) - soooo funny.

[happydaze77]

so = see (rubbish typing)

[Forgetfulmog]

Oh the needing the toilet whilst dd is napping! There have been times when I've actually thought I might wet myself as I've been so desparate to go but dd hasn't woken up!

I think I did see it yes, will do a search though to refresh my memory...

I think they make it up happy! If dd sleeps any longer than about an he without making some noise I get freaked out & am almost willing her to wake up so I know she's ok !

[Forgetfulmog]

Garrr! Dd has just fallen asleep on me, but it's lunchtime & I'm hungry!!

[Forgetfulmog]

Well last night was interesting ...

Dd decided at bed time she wasn't tired so ended up bringing her back downstairs & then up to bed a bit later. She woke up once & then slept till about 1. Then after I had fed her I just couldn't get her to settle so brought her into bed

Does anyone have any ideas why she is refusing to settle after about 12.30 - 1am??? It's been like that for a few nights now, really weird!

[Wiggy29]

Hey folks, all good here. Still napping during day in cot&only having dummy for sleeping. That said, what you posted feels familiar as I've noticed that since napping in own cot, ds is in a much lighter sleep. Previously, if he was (for example) in the sling asleep, I could hoover&he wouldn't stir. Today though, I woke him (he was in the cot) by quietly chatting on phone. Next step is cot in our room&trying to put him down for his night sleep in there.

Forgetful- I have no idea, how long have they been asleep at that point? I'm sure I remember reading that we sleep in cycles (think it was about 90 mins)&if we are woke at certain points it can be v.hard to get back over. Could it be the recent warm weather&maybe just too hot?

Happy- you sound like you're a step ahead of us. Our next aim is to get him to spend part of the night in his cot (as opposed to our bed). I anticipate the hardest part will be resisting just taking him back in with us if he twists for the sake of some precious shut eye.

[Forgetfulmog]

Please someone give me so advice & hope here, we seem to be going backwards.

Last night I fed dd at 6.30 (she usually gets sleepy when I do this), but she was still wide awake so I held her for a bit then fed her again & this time she got sleepy (about 7) so put her down with the white noise & she fell asleep.

Woke up crying at 8.30, fed her (to try to settle her), but she wouldn't settle so after about 40 mins I brought her into bed. She still wouldn't settle & kept chatting away, alternating with crying. I fed her again, still nothing & by this time I was getting quite upset (she's been biting & chewing my nipple & her latch doesn't seem too great either so my nips feel very bruised & sore).

She did eventually settle around 10.30 & slept next to me, waking up a few times for feeds.

I'm just feeling so despondent; I don't know if it's because her cold is still lingering, or if she's teething (still no teeth btw) or what, but we just seem to be going backwards now. Is this the 9 month regression (she's 9 months next week btw)? It seems so unfair as she's never been a great sleeper anyway.

I'm tired, feeling sore & just fed up.

I'm glad for you though wiggy that things seem to be going well

[thepestinthevest]

at Iron Maiden

Just wanted to say keep going ladies. I remember those hellish days and nights.

The cold will definitely be playing its part it messing it up. Doesn't always work for everyone but I swear by the humidifier for DS when he is snotty.

Can I ask, sorry if I've missed it, do you do anything else in their room with them? I don't mean playtime, but do you give the bedtime feeds in the room, bedtime story?

When you do night feeds do you do it in the dark?

Hang in there. My DS got to 7 months before he would sleep from 8-1 then 2-6, at 9 months he went from 8pm-6am then 11 months he was 8-7. Colds and teething can throw it out of sync for a bit. He made giant leaps in his sleeping as he moved onto proper meals and snacks.

We once got a 13 hr sleep out of him after he'd eaten a load of DH's cottage pie and peas

[happydaze77]

Just a though forgetfulmog - does your dd have a teddy to sleep with? When I feed dd she has the same soft toy to pull/pinch/bat at (saves my clothes and boobs!). We've just started putting it in the cot with her if she doesn't seem likely to settle and it often works (not always, but what does hey?)
I'm pretty sure a soft toy is ok at their age? Please anyone correct me if not. My dd is 7months now.
Can't think of anything else helpful atm, sorry.

[happydaze77]

though = thought (awful typing, again...)

[Forgetfulmog]

Thepest - I give her her last feed in her room (DH reads her a story while she's playing after tea, before her bath). She's nearly 9 months so I don't know if the 9 month sleep regression is having its toll. Thanks for the tip about the humidifier. I haven't got one at the moment so may give her some calpol later just to dry up her nose. Love the story about the cottage pie!

That's another thing - were doing mainly BLW & dd isn't too fussed on her food atm - she goes through phases, sometimes she eats loads & other times not that much.

Happy - she has a little bunny, but doesn't seem interested - whenever I put it in her hands she just flings it. It's more the biting & chewing that's the issue (although the pinching is starting to take its toll too).

I'm eating a lot of chocolate spread to get myself through this

[Wiggy29]

Forgetful- How about a muslin square? Ds likes to rub one on his cheek. Or maybe those rings you use to attach things tonplay gyms/ pram etc, you can get textured ones for teething&they can be pulled/ mangled/ bitten etc. Not sure if 9 months is too old, but what about swaddling? I think that's been part of reason ds has been napping well, the times he does cry after being put down, 99% of time he's wriggles arms out & is flapping around.

Took 30mins to get ds to sleep last night&had to cuddle him in the end, he had his 2nd set of jabs yesterday so wondered if it was that. Had another good night but really need to get him in own bed as my back is aching from squashing in to accommodate us as he tends to sleep star fish (we remove swaddle after 10:30 feed as he shares our blanket).

Talking of naps, my plan for today is to try&sleep when he does! Don't normally feel I need a nap but today I don't have to do school run with ds1 so taking advantage&staying in pjs. Will have to resist urge to have ds2 in my bed for cuddles as he'd prob sleep for longer but don't want to back track after he's been doing so well, he had a 90 minute sleep in his own cot&room yesterday morning!

[Forgetfulmog]

Wiggy - I have tied a muslin to her cot bars as something for her to hold onto. She's never liked being swaddled so I don't think that'll work, but I do have her in a gro-bag. She's so grumpy at the moment - I know her snotty nose isn't helping. She's had this for nearly 2 weeks now, surely it must get better soon?

I sympathise about your back, mine is not liking the bending over the cot to soothe dd.

Well she managed until 11.30 last night. Tried to settle her twice but she wasn't having it so brought her into our bed. Up at 5.30 as usual.

God, please tell me it gets easier...

I'm glad the naps are going well wiggy & enjoy your day today, hope you're going to spend it relaxing