How do you teach a baby to settle themselves???????

[ANGELMOTHER]

Please help me here, any tips are appreciated. My dd2 is now 17 wks and a happy thriving baby if not the greatest sleeper. She sleeps little in the day and wakes 2-3 times a night but I know she's not always hungry and it's a comfort suck and back to sleep. She never goes into her cot awake as always falls asleep at the boob or bottle (mixed feeding). Night feeds always end up with co-sleeping as I feed her lying down and am reluctant to move and disturb her then.
Please help me break this pattern as I want to start her in a nursery just the one morning a week (for sanity reasons) but couldn't send her into new surroundings before acquiring this skill.

This might help

thrush

Baby needs thrush treatment at the same time as you.

I also would stop using baby wipes - when it does that to you just think what it can do to her! They are an unnecessary expense. Water is much cheaper

ANGELMOTHER I'd visit your doctor but listen as I've had it and know what it's like do you want to email me or chat on MSN messenger. My email and MSN passport is [email protected] and mears is right you may have to treat baby as well, but not always. Does baby have any white blobs in her mouth? My baby was treated at beginning but then they said I could stop as if she still had it it would go away by itself.

I have to aggree with mears on the wipes.. I only use them when I go out and the rest of the time I use water with a little top-to-toe wash in it and cotton wool, and my DD is 20 months. I have noticed that she has never had nappy nash apart from the time she had D&V as opposed to all the babies I've cared for over my 12 years nannying who have had frequent nappy rash with wipes!

If you think you've got thrush you must consider treatment carefully. You can get rid of it with the methods I suggested without the need to take DIFLUCAN - you know the one pill you take for vaginal thrush - well you don't just take one you take it for 10 days and if it still isn't away another 10 days! After that don't ever expect the one DIFLUCAN ONCE tablet to ever work again for vaginal thrush as you seem to build up an immunity to it because you take so many at once. Only take it if really neccesary! That's my advice but I think you should visit your doc anyway!

I've spoken to my b/feeding counsellor and somehow the thrush doesn't seem to add up. Sore as I may be it's worst at first when she latches on but only for the first few minutes then it's fine after that. I must have really messed up on the latch to caues this damage. I'm still using the lanisoh and got the idea to use breast pads but found my nipples stick to them ouch!
What do they make those wipes out of, I'm definitely not using them anymore will have to search out recipe to make my own. Dd2 has had bad nappy rash lately and although this could also be a poss sign of thrush I think it's the wipes.
Sleep has gone a bit haywire lately she's been waking hourly the last couple of nights genuinely hungry sometimes. I give her a bottle last feed at bedtime and live in hope of her taking more than 4oz as I think this is the key in getting her to go longer.

I have this problem of my nipples sticking to my breastpads - but I do find that if I use enough lansinoh then they are less likely to.

Sorry to jump on this thread... back to the settling themselves bit - what do you do if your 7.5mo ds just cries and cries after being put down on their back, rolls over and then starts to clamber out the end of the cot?

It's funny, I've given advice on sleep issues on MN in the past as ds was very good at naps and night-time since 4months, but after four teeth coming in recently and a coughy cold we feel we're back at square one and not making any progress (atleast we did when he was weeks old!)

This has been going on for a week now and teeth are better (as much as you can be) and cold has almost gone. Do I just let him clamber/crawl round the cot until he's exhausted, going in every 5mins?

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I agree cotton wool and water is best, but if you can't cope with that for more than first couple of months (I couldn't) try different brands as they are not all as bad as each other. i found johnson gentler than sainsburys own ones, but sure there are other good and bad ones...

On breast pads - i use the washable ones which tend not to stick as much as disposables...

I did eventually have to let my dd1 cry (she is now nearly three and in her own bed) but need to start with my 5 month old dd2 as am also in the feed to sleep lying next to me in bed trap, it works but you can't go on for ever you have to decide when to take the plunge and break them of it.. but it onlt took about a week with dd1, although tended to move on to the rock her back to sleep or the hold her hand (and try to prise it out again) traps instead!!

Thanks Twiglett. I know you're right. It does seem every time I go back in it gets him more wriled (sp?). We did it at 4.5mo and within two nights he was sleeping through (was the right time for our ds but may not be for others..). But the rolling over and crawling round has just stumped us and we've chickened out until now after experiencing a 3hr marathon with him between 2:30 & 5:30am this morning!

Thanks too GS - good luck with your dd2 - all I can say is try to get it sorted before she is rolling!

greysquirrel I am in exactly the same boat re feed to sleep cycle and Karen99 those small hours of the morning are the very worst aren't they?
My ds1 was nightmare sleeper we did everything wrong and got him into bad habits and as a result I didb't have more than 4 hours unbroken sleep for 11 months.
DS2 is miuch better (an i am more determined to get him in to good habits0 it;s just coping with the settling between 2 and 5 am without just sticking him on the bosom I have to gear myself up to. Maybe this weekend.

Karen - do you use baby sleeping bags? I found that stopped dd1 from moving around too much, she has always wriggled around a lot but never actually tried climbing out.

dd2 is already rolling but hasn't tried it at night fortunately! I do hope your ds gets through this stage quickly. I would have thought if he is not crying and can't get out it is safe to let him crawl around, imagine he would get tired eventually and go back to sleep.

Hi All, last night was quite successful , but I'm sure it was because he was so knackered from the night before and major crying during his naps as I tried the pu/pd method. DS was asleep after 5mins of leaving him in the cot awake after bf. Only whimpering.

For this mornings nap I gave him 5min warning (not that he really understood) before nap time using the sleep sign [language] and then had 10min of quite fierce crying before everything went quiet. Have just tucked him in!! It wasn't nice to hear, but I'm hoping the next nap will be even shorter. I totally think leaving them is the best thing, but personally have to listen to the crying to make sure it doesn't change in the wrong direction IYSWIM. Popping in and out of the room just confuses them. Plus the pu/pd method for me just got us both distressed.

GS - yes, sleeping bag for night-time, just slows down the crawling/wriggling/rolling - nothing in the day so ds is more wriggly and rolls over as soon as you leave the room... Do you use one for all sleep?

Suzy - gosh! 11 months! You can't do that again with two.. How old is ds2? I must admit after DS moved onto solids and I was sure it wasn't hunger but habit waking him at night I just went cold turkey on the feeds. First if he woke before midnight he got one, if after 12 he didn't. Took about 3 nights and he started sleeping through from 7pm-6:30am about 4/7 nights a week. Slowly that's gotten up to 6/7 nights a week bar colds/teeth episodes. Just wish he'd lie-in once in a while! [VERY wishful thinking]

Glad to hear you had a better night, hope it continues!

Our night wasn't great as dd2 was wide awake at 4am (which she hasn't done before) and even feeding wouldn't work but eventually after dp pacing with her went back in cot until nearly 9 (dd1 was up a lot earlier of course!) That is the longest she has gone without a feed for ages. I can sympathise with Suzy as that has been my situation for last 5 months.

Karen you have inspired me to try harder though, when the current cold we all have is a bit better. Part of the problem for me is dp works shifts so makes it harder to establish a routine, tonight it is evening shift so i have to get both of them to bed on my own (mind you sometimes the household is strangely more efficient without dp's presence!) She is just starting on solids so i think she does get hungry, but could take more feeds in the day I am sure to make up for less at night, if I can just get her out of the habit..

sorry meant to say no i don't use sleeping bag during day but other mum's i know have so maybe if it helps it is worth a try? i am pretty bad at during the day sleep routines too. I don't even put her into cot yet, she sleeps better downstairs in her car seat. But I really should tackle that one too, and would probably help night sleeping if i did..

it was you and twiglett who inspired me in the first place!

I think we were two weeks into solids when we did the 'cold turkey' thing, plus ds had been gaining good weight for ages and was in the 80+ percentiles so knew we could afford to give it a go and he had some 'reserves' to tide him over. If he didn't show signs of waining (sp?) after 3-4 nights I was going to go back to one night feed. Thankfully we didn't need to!

As for night routine, ds never seems to go to bed at the same time every night, but we do try and follow an order - dinner, bath, play with daddy, lots of goodnight kisses and bf with me. That takes about an hour to do and bath/dinner is sometimes reversed, plus only bathes every other night. HTH. DS has always been different to naps vs. bed-time sleep so do whatever works for you in each situation (says she who needed help only yesterday!) Good luck.

Greysquirrel
You're right I can't do that sleep dep thing again and I'm going to do the cold turkey thing too, I reckon it should take about 3 nights as well.
Actually last night I fed baby son (22 weeks) winded him kissed him and laid him in his cot and said night night and walk out of the room whilehe was stll asleep and his head did not come loose (as I had imagined ds1's would do first time round if he didn't drift in to sweet dreams without my bosom in his mouth) and baby settled himself to sleep quite happily.
Little B was up again2 hours later with a bad snuffle so I cave in Aaarrgh!. The problem of trying to get a clear run at this without colds, coughs, teeth etc.

I meant 'still awake' , christ I am knackered, good job I never drive when I am this sleep deprived, would be a danger on the roads

Hi Suzy - off out, but just wanted to say good luck with tonight! (Friday nights are always the best to try something new - that is if you don't work on the weekend!)

thanks Karen99
But don't think my upstairs neighbour will be thinking the same thing. Too bad.

It seems far too many of our little un's need to be cuddled to sleep.
Well today I have finally been diagnosed with thrush, I'm actually quite relieved as at least now I can get on with the treatment. I have been so sore and gone through nearly a whole tube of lansinoh knowing that it wasn't working. My b/feeding counsellor (poss tutor) was most unhelpfull telling me it didn't sound at all like thrush as I would be in more pain, I've obviously got a high pain threshold
So I've put her on bottles for now to give me a break and am applying Canesten regularily, I swear it eased the pain immediately.
I've also made my own wipes AMAZED at how easy it was, so no more itchy fingers.
Sleep is still disrupted down at 7 then again at 12, 2, 4 but we'll wait till the thrush clears till we get tough
So the questions I have are how do I make sure I really do get rid of this thrush. I'm boiling my bras, and was also given some cream for her bum but is there certain foods I might be eating which aggravate it ?
I've had better advice on here than from any other source so thank you ladies.

Wills will be able to advise you best about foods. Hope you are expressing milk if you are giving bottles to make sure you don't get mastitis. Hope the treatment works soon.

By the way there is going to be some publicity soon about the hazards of chemicals in baby wipes. Will let you know when it is definite.

ANGELMOTHER sorry to hear you've got thrush. So are you just using canestan? Did you know that Daktarin is much better.. yes the one you use on athletes foot? Also have you been given a liquid I think called "Nistatin" or somthing like that for baby's mouth? That's what my DD got.
P.S. I'm glad our advice has helped you!!!

Really glad you are feeling better angelmother. Hope it clears up soon. If you search for "thrush" under the BF/BotF section you'll find lots of other threads which may give you some clearup time indications etc.

Hi Angelmother ... I hve been away for a week, and have dutifully returned to check this site ( my DP is baffled at the amount of time I spend on the computer these days !) ...so sorry to hear abt the thrush, but happy for u that it has at long last been diagnosed ... I agree that you should sort that out first before tackling the other issues. It is incredible how tiring suffering from discomfort and pain can be . I remember the early days of B/F and sore stiches after birth !

Also, I am big fan of the sleep bag ... ... Probably out of the amount of rubbish I have bought , it has been the best buy ...