4 month sleep regression hell - anyone want to join me?!

[lucylookout]

DS2 is 18 weeks on Tuesday. He has always been a rubbish sleeper, waking up 3 times a night was considered BRILLIANT, but, since he turned 16 weeks, things have taken a turn for the (even) worse. Last night he woke up 6 times between 7 and 10pm (mainly while I was trying to watch The Killing III). I then lost count of how many times he carried on waking up after that. He came into bed with me when I couldn't settle him fairly easily in his cot anymore (which is what I usually do) at around 3am (I'm feeding to sleep unless I can get away with popping his dummy back in and/or giving him a quick cuddle). We slept better that way but still not great. He was unsettled and I was being head butted, punched and kicked (lots of throwing legs into the air trying to get farts out). And as for daytime? He goes to sleep quite easily, but will only sleep 20 or 30 minutes 4 or 5 times a day. He is tired almost as soon as he wakes up from a nap.
Oh, and thrown into the mix are the after effects of last weeks immunisations, a cold and possibly teething (lots of finger gnawing and nappy rash).
Is anyone else going through anything similar? I'm sure DS1 went through the same but I just can't remember it in any detail. I think he got the hang of long day time naps around 6 months. Does that sound right? I just have to ride it out don't I and take a kind of 'needs must' approach for now.....

Impatientwino, sympathies to you too. It's tough isn't. Do you cosleep on the mattress? I never did it with ds1 but do it with DS2 (halfway through the night on) and it's the only thing that's letting me get any sleep and feel halfway normal. Oh, and I reckon they start it at 16 weeks, so by 18 weeks you're 2 weeks in already.
DS got to 10 before waking up tonight but has been up every hour to hour and a half since then. He's being very wide awake and wriggly and will only contemplate falling back to sleep if he's on my boob, which is a bit annoying as during the day and bedtime I never feed him to sleep. Oooooh, it's all so aggravating and frustrating isn't it. And even more so because it seems to go on indefinitely for as many people as it stops after a few weeks for and given his track record I'm pretty sure DS will be like this indefinitely!

Count me in. DS2 is 18 weeks and slept great until about 14 weeks (8 pm to 4am most nights)

Now he can wake up any time between 11am and 2am, waking 4 to 6 times a night. Last night he fed for two hours between 1am and 3am and again for 90 mins at 5.30am until we got up at 7am. He's starving cos he's so nosy he won't feed during the day. If one more person says 'he'll eat when he's hungry' I will ring them at 2am and say 'he's hungry now!'

Oh yes also those people who say 'try and find a quiet place to feed during the day so he doesn't get distracted' obviously haven't met 4 yo DS1 who has verbal diarrhoea

When, when will it end? I suspect when he starts solids in two loooong months time

Ooh perhaps we could invent and patent blinkers and noise cancelling headphones for breastfeeding babies?

I'm so with you snugabugz. I'm fed up with having my boob out on display while ds2 decides it's a good time to have a see what's going on during his leisurely lunch. Nosy doesn't even begin to cover it. Also have 5 yo DS who is constant source of amusement and distraction (which often comes in very handy, but sometimes not so).
So is that your prediction then? It'll get better around 6 months. Ds2 seems to have such a delicate digestive system (he's cows milk protein intolerant) that I'm worried he'll be uncomfortable at night. Planning to take things very slowly with baby led weaning.
Hope everyone's doing ok today no matter how little sleep you had!

I reckon DS2 is awake so much cos he's not drinking enough during the day. When his elder brother is at nursery and he drinks more its a bit better. So my theory is when he can sit in a high chair and be involved in what's going on around him he'll eat more.

Really trying hard to resist weaning early especially as I started DS1 on baby rice at 17 weeks and he slept through after that!

Can I join! I need to talk with like minded mums in the night to take away the pain of my friends baby who apparantly sleeps from 630pm to 930am

DD used to be not bad, would go through till 2ish have a feed then maybe resettle about 5 then up 7ish. Oh no, the past few weeks she has been waking loads although not necessarily hungry but will lie there and babble for ages!!! This happens about three times a night for up to 2 hrs a go! Have tried feeding her back to sleep but she jyst starts babbling again when I put her down. I should just ignore her but very difficult when she is in our room and I get paranoid she will wake DS.

Please tell me this is a developmental phase that will pass!she is 22 weeks (but born at 38+4)

Hi piemistress, it WILL pass, really it will. I just have no idea when. DS doesn't babble at night (yet). He already woke up at 9.30 and seemed genuinely hungry. But I know that later on in the night he'll just want to have my boob loosely in his lips to go to sleep (and this is a boy who has a dummy!) Even more infuriatingly when I bring him into bed with me, when he wakes up he wants me to sit up in bed holding him for him to fall asleep before placing him carefully down on the bed next to me. Defeats the purpose of cosleeping a bit doesn't it!?
Anyhow, enough if my rant! I hope the babbling is kept to a minimum tonight, but if not, 'see' you later!

DS is awake for third time tonight already. Please do you have any advice or reassurance? Feeling genuinely upset and pissed off right now,

I feel if I 'go with it' I'll end up with a DS who'll only sleep in bed with me while hanging off my boob. This I do not want.

Hey Lucy I'm up for third time tonight too

I'm getting really frustrated too, it's so hard isn't it. I fed him for an hour tonight and it still wasn't enough to make him sleep any great length

Congratulations on your wedding! If only DS would allow you some sleep as a wedding gift!

Mine seems to have even worse wind pain tonight - keeps screaming for boob and thrashing his legs around. Co sleeping not working for us either - even if i hold him close he still screams.

Am dreading tonight it's not even 1 yet

I have lots of pressure from family and a couple of friends to switch him to formula to help him sleep longer and to stop me being so drained from constant feeding and I'm fast running out of energy to keep bf I think

It's only 8 weeks or so until he's 6 months and ill be weaning him and I'll probably combo feed then anyway so I'm wondering whether to start that a little earlier...

I'm exhausted though so can't think straight

I know what you mean about going with it, feel like I'm second guessing myself all the time - it's so hard to stick to your guns when tired and its the middle of the night though!

Are you managing any sleep in the day?

How old is your DS Lucy? Have just been listening to DD for an hour and given in and trying to feed her back to sleep. That then means fuller nappies and her being less hungry I the day but so tired. Plus winding will take half an hr wish hadn't stopped the infacol!

My son was an appauling sleeper till 9 months when it all changed so I know its possible!.she goes down awake for all sleeps and can self settle, I just think there is too much going round her wee head. Zzzzzz

impatient does he have bottles of expressed milk? We give DD two bottles of formula a week to keep her taking a bottle and I don't have the time or energy to express but it diesnt make a jot of difference to her sleeping longer!

Thanks Impatientwino, I hope you managed to get some sleep afterall. Your DS sounds like he feeds for ages, is he actually eating all that time or is some of it comfort sucking? Does he use a dummy? DS feeds quickly and often, about 10 mins every 2 hours. Ds1 was the same. Because ds2 has a cows milk protein intolerance I can't feed him formula at the mo. The doctor said to try again at 6 months. I'm not planning on giving up bf very quickly, but it would be nice to have a little bit of time away from him every now and again.
I took DS into bed at about 2, he slept til 5.30 (having last fed at 1, so he CAN do longish stretches), fed and then after a bit of wriggling slept til 7.
And yes, I have no idea what approach to take half the time, although reason tells me to just do whatever I need to, to get sleep at the moment. Things change all the time with them, and if they don't I can (gently) sleep train him when he's old enough to get it.
Piemistress, how was your night? DS is 19 weeks on Tuesday. Did you do anything different with your DS at 9 months or did he just suddenly change? We can all live in hope eh!
Hope you all have a nice (if wet) Saturday and fingers crossed tonight will be better.

Hi all, some (hopefully reassuring) news to share...
Ds (now 20 weeks) has suddenly gone back to sleeping and I didn't do a thing differently. It happened last week, literally overnight without any warning. I had really been doubting myself up until then, convinced that I was doing something 'wrong' and that his poor sleeping was somehow my fault.
So if you are feeling that way, please don't. I really think it is down to the individual baby and they all come through it eventually.
In the meantime all I can suggest is co-sleeping if at all possible and making sure you get as much rest as possible - easier said than done I know
Good luck!

Yep, DD2 is nearly 17 weeks and wakes up a million times a night, burbles nonsense to herself, will only ever kip with boob in mouth etc ... o lord.

But what I found helps:

• always co sleep (didn't even bother getting cot down from attic this time)
• go to bed with baby at 8pm - that gives me 12 hours of sleep opportunity!
• DO NOT LOOK AT THE CLOCK - v v important. Sleep over last 2 nights has been much improved because of this.

Mogwai, that's brilliant news. So, has he gone back to sleeping in his cot ok? I think you had gone back to co sleeping too. I feel like the more I do it with DS the more he wants it. The cuddles are nice, but I have to say I prefer having my bed to myself (how can a little baby take up SO much space?)

Zoobmeister, thanks for the tips. I agree, keeping count and clock watching is pretty depressing. Was your dd1 like this too? And more importantly when did she grow out of it?

Lucy I was really worried about getting into bad habits by constantly feeding to sleep/co-sleeping but Ds has gone back into his cot no problem whatsoever. Personally, I would say do whatever you need to in order to get through this phase and hopefully it will be over soon enough!

That's good to know mogwai, thanks.
I hope you have a clear run of good nights until you hit the 9 month regression!

Really glad I found this thread! EBF 15wo DS has gone from being an excellent little sleeper - settling himself and doing 7pm-3am every night - to waking every 40 mins for his dummy to be put back in! He's been wanting more feeds at night as well, with it peaking (I hope...) last night at every 90 mins - but not during the day, he's stayed at 2-3 hours between feeds.
He's never been good at naps, which I suspect is my fault not realising in the early days, but recently I've managed to get him down a few times a day for 30-40 mins. He'll sleep forever in the buggy (2-3 hours if I keep walking!) but I live in Manchester and it's winter :(

Should I do cold turkey on the dummy at night?

Oh, I should say we're not co-sleeping, DS is in a cot at the bottom of our bed. I've brought him in to bed a few times at around 5am, but I find I don't sleep at all and he doesn't settle any better.

Hi Pixie, I'd be inclined to not do anything too rash during the sleep regression. After all, he might wake up every 40 mins anyway and just be a lot harder to get back to sleep without a dummy! The general consensus seems to be to do what you can to get by until it passes.
My DS has been marginally better in the evenings for a few days (not waking up 20 mins after being put down!?) although is still waking a lot at night. Fingers crossed things continue to improve.

Hey all

Pixie - I agree with Lucy don't do anything too rash during this stage - I need to improve DS naps but I'm not going to do anything whilst this nonsense is going on! One battle at a time I think!

Mogwai that's brilliant news, great stuff! Very reassuring too!

Piemistress yes he does take expressed milk bottles but it doesn't seem to make any difference :(

Lucy no he's quite an efficient feeder, drains a boob in around 10 minutes - when I say constant feeding I mean its every two hours day or night which I see is same as you - sympathies - I'm exhausted by it!

I've spent the last couple of nights trying to convince him to go a bit longer with mixed results! He will sometimes take a dummy and sometimes won't the awkward sod

I too would like to give him the odd bit of aptamil to have a bit of a break but it just made his tummy worse at the moment so I'm holding off for a while until he's a bit better.

Last night was bad but then good as he was down by 9, up at 11.30 but then up/down every 30/45 mins between 1 & 4 but then slept 4-7 which is the longest for ages so I felt amazing today having had a whole 3 hour unbroken spell!!!

Glad you're seeing a slight improvement!

Phew! I wasn't looking forward to being dummy free so we'll keep it for now. Last night wasn't quite as bad, I had the monitor playing a hairdryer noise for the first 2 hours and he slept fine, then I turned it down and he woke up shortly after claiming to be hungry... Decided to see if I coukd get away with a cuddle, so a bit of a wriggly cuddle to the dulcet tones of the real hairdryer and back to sleep, then lots of putting dummy back in so put him in bed with me to make it easier, but forgot to warn dh who nearly squashed him as he's not normally in our bed! Fed 12.30, 2.30 and 4.30, not sure about dummy replacement... Little bugger won't go back down after 5am so he's knackered now...

Sounds like you had quite a lively night Pixie! We had quite a bad one again but I think it was my fault. DS is/was cows milk protein intolerant, (it gave him reflux and lots of tummy discomfort/constipation etc). I've been dairy free for montha until when I had half a slice of cake and he was fine. Didn't react at all. In fact was so serene and content yesterday I thought he might have grown out of it. So, I gave him a small, small, small bottle of Aptamil comfort (3oz) in the afternoon. Not because I want to give up BF, more to see if he would be OK with it for a few hours if I wanted to go out for a bit with DS1 without DS2. Anyway, cue a loooooonnnng night of grunting and straining and general discomfort all round. Felt rather bad about my experiment and just wish he'd poo it out of his poor little body

Oh dear, poor little bean :( I hope he's managed to poo it out by now. Tiny silver lining though - eating a bit of cake is a goer for you...
Is expressing not an option to give you a bit of a break? I can just manage 2oz a sesh (if ds has a long enough nap that is!) and only from the right boob, the left just won't give it up for some reason... but I built up a small reserve in the freezer so dh can help occasionally. Doesn't really help with the current night time feedathons as it takes too long to defrost but I did manage to see Skyfall at grownup cinema instead of baby cinema!

Ds has already woken up 5 times since 7pm, but I think aside from the first time it's mostly wind that's doing it as his legs are in the air when I go in. He hasn't had a poo in about 10 days and is doing the stinkiest trumps, it smells like a swamp in his cot!

Oh, make that 6...