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Sleep

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Original poster

Why is nursing to sleep so 'wrong'?

35 replies

pinklisa · 25/03/2006 21:20

Why is is so wrong to breast feed a baby to sleep? My DD is coming up to 6 weeks old, and has pretty consistently since birth slept in her own crib at night and only woken once or twice for a feed. I tend to nurse her to sleep most evenings after a routine of bath and massage etc, but all the books and magazines tell me its a relly bad idea to do this, that I'm setting myself up for trouble. I'm starting to feel like i'm doing something terribly wrong here.
Has anyone else breastfed their babies to sleep and not had any kasting sleep problems or does it alsways lead to trouble?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

SleepySuzy · 25/03/2006 21:21

It is absolutely fine at that age, in my opinion, and my dd is 2 now.

dreamteamgirl · 25/03/2006 22:39

Hi Pinklisa

Its not a bad thing per ce, as long as you accept that when/ if she wakes in the night the only way she will know how to go back to sleep if by being fed.
Obviously for you at the moment this isnt an issue, but as she gets older, you may feel the need to get her back to sleep without feeding her- maybe if she has only fed 40 mins before or something.
Some kids do just learn how to go to sleep, but some need their sleep props, and at the moment chances are you are hers.
That said, she is 6 weeks old, and there is plenty of time to start teaching her different sleep associations when she is a little older if that is what you want
HTH a little

Hattie05 · 25/03/2006 22:45

There is nothing wrong with nursing back to sleep.

But it is a really tricky one to know when to stop! (certainly not anytime soon for you imo).

My dd only got out of the habit at 2 years old! and still wakes in early hours of morning and gets into bed with us - she is now 3yrs old.

But i think the biggest decision to make is - are you happy to comfort your child this way for as long as they need it - or would you rather conform to modern day textbooks and tv shows which say your child must be independent and go to sleep by themselves?

Who can say that a 1, 2 or 3 yr old should be capable of this? they are tiny children still in a big big world - is there anything wrong with cuddles and nursing to sleep?

I think the hard thing is getting that happy medium - and for that i don't know the answer .

Trust your instincts can only be the best advice.

moondog · 25/03/2006 22:47

Do what feels right for you.
I was happy to b/feed at night until about 9/10 mths,after which I felt they could last the night.
Both are now great sleepers (5 and 20 mths)

Eve2005 · 25/03/2006 22:56

if your willing and happy to do it then do! if a child is going to have sleep problems they will whether you do it all right or not IMO.

chipmonkey · 25/03/2006 23:10

To me its far more trouble to have a cranky baby rattling the cot bars! Some babies need it. Ds1 and ds2 were quite good sleepers, ds3 is a different story!

spidermama · 25/03/2006 23:16

I've always nursed mine to sleep. It's lovely and it works. I've never had problems getting them to settle on their own either at a later date. My 14 month old can now go down quite happily on his own, or after a little suck.

As moondog says, do what you feel is right for you and your baby and ignore well meaning advisors because they don't know the first thing about you and your baby.

CorrieDale · 26/03/2006 17:08

Totally agree with Eve. From much lurking on MN, I have finally concluded that some babies are poor sleepers and some are good ones. Nursing isn't the cause - though like Chipmonkey says, it makes a convenient solution!!!

Original poster

pinklisa · 26/03/2006 18:41

Thanks everyone, this is reassuring- i'm a new mum and have been bombarded (my own fault!) with so much info, I'm going round in circles trying to do the right thing, rather than enjoying my baby, and my time with her - I've got to the point where I dread nap times and bed times because it'll be preceded by crying and a good hour of stress whilst we try to pat/shh her to sleep or sit there with our finger in her mouth whilst she sucks her self to sleep that way. Nursing her to sleep in the evenings means my partner and I at least get some time to relax, rather that running in and out of her nursery every 5 minutes...I guess for day naps I'll just get the push chair out and make the most of the excersise!
phewww

OP posts:

Hattie05 · 26/03/2006 21:38

IF your fingers in the mouth anyway - you may as well stick the boob in and have her asleep faster .

Yes i used to engineer long walks, or car journeys around the time my dd would need a nap. I was lucky enough that i could always carry her into the house still asleep so that i could get on and do stuff i needed to do.

Tatties · 26/03/2006 22:17

Pinklisa, really don't worry about it. I went round in circles myself when ds was that age, desperately trying to do the 'right' thing, and not enjoying him at all. He will be 1 in a couple of weeks ( the time has gone so quickly!) and I still bf him to sleep at bedtime and for naps during the day if we're not out and about. I didn't get a good sleeper and there is only one way he is going to sleep atm! No way am I going to let him cry it out or force him to do something he is not ready for. But I am confident that he will grow out of it when he doesn't need it any more. I think this is only a problem if you make it one. As long as you are happy to continue, don't let the books or anyone else tell you it is wrong.

Donk · 26/03/2006 22:42

I nursed my DS to sleep without worrying about it - because although the HV said 'You can tell when they fall asleep - they don't suck as strongly/no longer swallow' DS definitely fed in his sleep - so when does being awake feeding but with eyes shut turn into feeding in your sleep? I never could tell. DS just started to stay awake to be put down in the evening of his own accord around 18 months - and I still feed him to sleep in the afternoons at age 3!!!! He definitely needs the sleep - and it works for us.

Pixiefish · 26/03/2006 23:01

dd fed to sleep till recently. now at 2 she can get herself to sleep but its been a long road. not one to worry about for you for a while though

MadameDeMars · 26/03/2006 23:07

I breastfed all of mine to sleep, including twins. Wouldn't change a thing

Orinoco · 27/03/2006 22:26

I b/f both of mine to sleep till they were 12m. They're 5 and nearly 3 now, and both happily settle themselves to sleep.

She's still tiny - do what feels right, don't worry about what other people say you should be doing.

blueshoes · 27/03/2006 22:44

pinklisa, forget the books and magazines. They spout a lot of conventional sleep tips shite. Do what works for your dd. You can cross any bridges later when you get there.

Orinoco · 28/03/2006 12:12

Been thinking about this for you pinklisa. If I were you, I'd try to establish a bedtime routine that includes other things as well as feeding, eg play some nice relaxing music. Then when you eventually decide to drop the feed, you're only changing a small part of it, not the whole bedtime routine IYSWIM?

dreamteamgirl · 29/03/2006 23:12

Brill advice Orinoco

Orinoco · 30/03/2006 20:42

thankyou!

fluffyanimal · 05/04/2006 12:20

Pinklisa, I was wondering the exact same thing with ds who is only 4 weeks. HV and MWs all say he has to learn to settle himself but he is a real comfort sucker, won't take to dummy so I can't help but feed to sleep. Also worry that I'm setting myself up for problems but figure i'll just cross the bridge when I come to it. Glad to hear others feel the same way.

cornflakegirl · 05/04/2006 13:48

fluffyanimal - settling my ds became hugely easier when he found his thumb at 2.5 months. i know not all babies do this, but i was so glad when he did.

babywhisperer says don't establish any habits you're not willing to maintain for 2 years. i didn't want to keep feeding in the night for that long - or any longer than i absolutely had to - but that was my choice!

if it does become an issue later, elizabeth pantley's book the no-cry sleep solution looks really good (never had to use it myself though)

cornflakegirl · 05/04/2006 13:48

fluffyanimal - settling my ds became hugely easier when he found his thumb at 2.5 months. i know not all babies do this, but i was so glad when he did.

if it does become an issue later, elizabeth pantley's book the no-cry sleep solution looks really good (never had to use it myself though)

cornflakegirl · 05/04/2006 13:48

apologies - stoopid compooter!

fluffyanimal · 05/04/2006 14:57

Thanks for the recommendation, cornflakegirl!

wessexgirl · 05/04/2006 15:07

I wouldn't worry, pinklisa, I always nursed dd2 to sleep and now (8 m.o.) she has just found out for herself that she CAN fall asleep without it - no stressful sleep-training involved either.

Though how long it will last, who knows?....

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