Why is nursing to sleep so 'wrong'?

35 replies

pinklisa · 25/03/2006 21:20

Why is is so wrong to breast feed a baby to sleep? My DD is coming up to 6 weeks old, and has pretty consistently since birth slept in her own crib at night and only woken once or twice for a feed. I tend to nurse her to sleep most evenings after a routine of bath and massage etc, but all the books and magazines tell me its a relly bad idea to do this, that I'm setting myself up for trouble. I'm starting to feel like i'm doing something terribly wrong here.
Has anyone else breastfed their babies to sleep and not had any kasting sleep problems or does it alsways lead to trouble?

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lazycow · 05/04/2006 15:26

You are lucky dd does bfeed to sleep - ds almost never did amd still doesn't - little bugger

spots · 05/04/2006 15:35

Agree with orinoco.I found singing lullabies a really nice thing to do at bedtime - then swapped the bf with the song, gradually adding other things like teethbrushing and stories as they became appropriate. We have been lucky with DD's sleeping,but I have always enjoyed her bedtimes and giving myself 'permission' to feed to sleep was the beginning of that.

sunandmoon · 05/04/2006 16:05

This is a thread I could have started 7 motnhs ago. I did use to breastfed my DD to help her to go to sleep (for nap time and night time). I was reading in books and was told by friends to not do it... But I did it because I thought my DD would never go to sleep by herself. But when she was about 4 months old, I realised that she could fall asleep all on her own... so do what is best for you pinklisa, your DD is still a young little one and it is a wonderful feeling to help your DD to fall asleep. My DD is now 8months1/2, and she definitely don't need me anymore to fall asleep (she has been on formula since she was 6 months old)...

gift · 05/04/2006 16:21

I still bf my son to sleep he is 2 yr 4mths.No problemsActually he is doing very well for his age.He is already toilet trained.Speaks well,two languages.And communicates well with other childern.He is not a cry baby.His teeth are fine but i do keep a close check on them and they have been sealed.Sometimes i feel tired and want it to end.But those are the days i remind myself.This won't last forever.It is a magical time.
Oh ! There is one thing...I might need a 'Boob job' after all this.A small price to pay.Don't you think !?

gift · 05/04/2006 16:21

MadamePlatypus · 05/04/2006 16:33

Marc Weissbluth (SP?) who wrote "Healthy Sleep, Happy Child" and is really pro CC/CIO techniques, says that feeding to sleep is not detrimental at all (until 4 months when he suggests sleep training). I mention this not because I think he is right, but to show that not all the sleep 'experts' agree. IMO, feeding to sleep is not a problem at 6 weeks, and the world will not fall on your head if you are happy to feed to sleep when they are 2. I would say that at some stage (and you will be the best judge of when this happens), we all start to like 'props' to help us fall asleep, whether this is a good book or some milk. The thing is to draw the line if the prop that your child is asking you to provide is, to you, unreasonable.

Martini · 09/04/2006 01:26

I have fed both DS & DD to sleep (now 4 & 2). They both slept through the night by the time they were 8mnths and if they did wake up all I had to do was stick a boob in their mouth and they were soon off again. Much better IMO than hours of patting, shushing etc.

By the time they were both about 1.5 they could go to sleep on their own in cot with a bit of hand holding.

People who write books and give advice are always telling you that you are setting yourself up for years of trauma if you don't follow their methods - it helps them justify their existence.

Feeding your child to sleep is lovely and what's more you can be asleep at the same time.

vnmum · 09/04/2006 20:02

my DS is 4 months and i still bf him to sleep, he will settle on his own with or without his dummy sometimes and sometimes he needs mummy. i have been looking for advice on sleep issues as hes not good at napping during day and decided that CC/CIO was not for me so am now reading "the no-cry sleep solution". an excert from it written by a anthropologist describing how a baby feels when left to CIO nearly made me cry and i wa then determined to do anything but CIO. heres the excert, see if you relate:
He awakes in a mindless terror of the silence, the motionlessness. He screams. He is afire from head to toe with want, with desire, with intolerable impatience. He gasps for breath and screams until his head is filled and throbbing with the sound. He screams until his chest aches, until his throat is sore.He can bear the pain no more and his sobs weaken and subside. He listens. He opens and closes his fists. He rolls his head from side to side. Nothing helps. It is unbearable. He begins to cry again, but it is too much for his strained throat, he soon stops. He waves his hands and kicks his feet. He stops, able to suffer, unable to think, unable to hope. He listens. Then he falls asleep again.

if that doesnt reassure that feeding to sleep is the right thing to do,. then i dont know what will

Mercy · 09/04/2006 20:15

Neither of my two would sleep without a bottle (daytime or nightime). It's not just breastfed babies/toddlers.

ds is 2.1 and will only sleep after having a bottle in his cot (unless very, very tired). I think dd was around 2.5 when she stopped. It has to be me though, not daddy. But I can see it may be eextra difficult if you are breastfeeding. 6 weeks is far too young to be worrying about it!

dreamteamgirl · 09/04/2006 21:07

Grrrrr HATE, HATE, HATE that quote from NCSS

No-one has ANY idea what is going on in a childs mind when it is trying to sleep, or crying and that is so damn emotive, but completely unsubstansiated

Have never had to CIO with DS personally, so its not that I feel got at or anything, but god if I could burn every copy of Pantley's book and republish it without that over emotional rubbish I would.

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