Toddler & 5 year old Room Sharing Hell...

[Bibblebobbleparsnip]

We've moved our 27month DS in with his big sister. Trouble is it's taking him ages to fall asleep. Bedtime is 7pm in our house, but he's been only dropping off about 9, and therefore so has his sister. Not such a big issue now it's the holidays (though far from ideal), but we HAVE to get this sorted before school starts again... DS still has an hrs nap in pm (which I'd really like to keep as we also have 6wk old) though we make sure he does plenty of activity during the day. He eats well. Nothing else had changed in his routine other than the place his bed is in. HELP!!! It's getting increasingly tricky to deal with such overtired children. We've tried leaving him to get on with it & also going in every time we hear a noise, all to no avail. it's been 10 days now. Once he's asleep he's fine, it's just getting him to stop talking/playing with his blanket/banging his feet against the wall etc... Aaaaarghhh....

Bumping for the evening crowd...

We had a few issues like this when our boys first started sharing (at v similar ages to yours) but after a couple of weeks it settled down without us intervening - so sorry, not much help I'm afraid other than to say give it time & hopefully the novelty will wear off.

Now it only happens occasionally & moreso if the youngest has had a nap in the day which isn't v often anymore.

Thanks for replying! Needing the distraction as can hear them messing about & have been in twice already. Kind of hoping if I ignore it, it'll go away.... Not proving successful right now.

Mine are DD (17 months) and DS (3.2) and they have shared a room since Jan. Started playing up recently - usually bouncing until 8/8.30, they go to bed at 7! They were very tired for a while but they are increasingly sleeping in with their later bedtimes; 11 hours sleep overnight seems ok for them (8-7). If nec I can still get the older one to nap though. If it is getting ridiculously late then I usually go in and have words with the bigger one as he reacts to bribery/responsibility! It's a vicious circle though as I'd like him to drop his nap soon, but his sister wakes him up earlier than he'd naturally like (he used to sleep in until 8 from 7pm!!).
DS is currently launching himself from bed onto floor and baby DD is laughing her head off. Hwvr I am downstairs with a glass of rose so trying to make best of it!

Have been in twice since last post- had to change DS's nappy, (it reeked) and to have stern words and take his dummy away after hearing him urge his sister to "eat it". Can now hear him singing and giggling. DD is old enough to ignore him, but must be tricky the amount of noise he's making (though she's not been faultless in all this) Right am off up again... Time to threaten something really bad...

Mine are now 5.1 years and 3.7 years and I moved my son in with his sister when he was 11 months old. The problems really began when I moved him to a bed, and actually for about a year for survival I had to stagger bedtimes and use a stairgate. I put the youngest to bed first and once he'd dropped off, I'd sneak his sister in. It wasn't ideal but now they both settle quickly to sleep, at the same time. I did drop the daytime nap and move bedtime earlier, in a bid to make bedtime easier as well, at one stage, that worked. But he was cranky for an hour before bed.

I do have a gro clock in there and some sleep rules on the wall and the suction gro anywhere blind to make it pitch black in there too

I think in your shoes with a baby as well, I'd feel very fed up. Stagger bedtimes is my best suggestion. Worked for me. But you have a baby as well, so it will be trickier for you to do this.

Bibble I have given up going in and now leaving it I DH. I'm usually quite tolerant to their antics but they are pushing it tonight - DS keeps opening curtains and DD keeps throwing her toys out of the cot! so glad I have a holiday with the inlaws next week

We have black out blinds and a gro clock (which is only effective for our eldest at bedtime- she sees it as a challenge to watch the "sunrise" in the morning), both had been fantastic until 2 weeks ago! DH is great at sharing the load usually but is out tonight so been juggling BF baby too. Went up to threaten something mean and turns out his chatting was because he thought he's get me up there smile sweetly & he'd get his dummy back. How wrong was he?! I gave him a very firm answer & walked out. Cue 10 mins tears while I fed baby... Went back up & gave him it back under the condition he went straight to sleep. Not heard a peep since. The whole thing only took since 6:30 tonight!!!! Am wondering whether staggering is the way to go. That and losing the pm sleep (sob! How I love that hour...) will stave off killing the nap until Sept...

Wanted to say a big Thank You for all help offered. I was beginning to think we'd made a huge mistake as all my RL friends had done it much earlier and avoided most problems. They just said it'd taken a few nights, so hadn't been surprised when they hadn't settled by a week, but thought it would have by now... Maybe DS is reacting to new baby? Ah, toddlers. As cute as he is, he's certainly the same amount annoying!

It might be the new baby. I have to say he does sound adorable!

It took us the same amount of time too tonight. I think it's also BAKING HOT which doesn't help. DD's behaviour is generally shocking at the moment to be honest - she is everything I dreamt a girl toddler would be in my worst nightmares ! Little madam! Maybe we'll both get a lie-in tomorrow? You never know....

Lie-in...lie-in.... Nope. Don't remember them. Think I had one once and I liked it... Ahh yes, I remember now... The last lie-in we had without kids resulted in DD2...

Just to add, we did move our boys a few months before the new baby came deliberately so that bedtimes were sorted without the stress of a baby - so it could be the baby as they are unsettling for siblings (although generally that should settle down too). Good luck

So I put DS down at 7 tonight by himself to try and settle before DD went in. He'd had no nap this pm (I'd put him down, but he hadn't slept as far as we can tell). He wasn't asleep by 7:30 as DD went in. I we t in 10 mins ago and found her stood over his bed!!! I was LIVID! He'd already had his dummy taken away, then given back after many tears and promises of good behaviour. Any ideas?

Argh I just dropped by to see how it was going for you this eve - DS didn't have a nap today so he went straight out, but DD was mucking around/crying for half an hour before dropping off. Still a massive improvement though but stressful.

What did she say when you went in?

This does happen. My DD would climb in his cot and wake him. I went down on her like a ton of bricks with sanctions, time outs etc and it did soon stop but I felt so guilty as a mum.

It is hot tonight, even mine took ages to settle tonight and they're pretty good now.

Not hot here... Reckon it's the only place in the country that's had rain and is cool tonight! I sent DD downstairs to explain to her Dad what she was doing as I saw to her brother. She refused to say what she was doing so can only conclude she was up to no good. She's 5.8 for heaven's sake!!! She really should know better. Had to go up again about 30 mins ago & take DS's dummy again. He moaned but is now quiet. I used to be able to put my kids to bed at 7, and leave them with a babysitter at 7:05. Now I wouldn't dare! Grrrrr!

My DD is 5.1 so she's a little younger but also prone to daftness. You have a new baby too. It will get better, they will both learn to share a room and settle for sleep. This too shall pass I promise.

Would it be possible to really ham it up with extra fuss and bedtime stories? Is your H home for bedtimes? So you have help? I'm just wondering if some of it is attention seeking and that this may help them both

Yes DH is home for bedtime. He's great at helping and we try and have the same person carry out the punishment they have threatened (iyswim). I definitely think it's attention seeking behaviour, but am unsure whether to "feed" with a pantomime or to just ignore it and hope that a lack of interest from me would lead them to give up and just go to sleep...

I wouldn't want to feed it after lights are out, consistency is what slowly resolved bedtime with mine. I just thought more of a fuss or special time with their mum might help before you say goodnight, whilst they adjust to all the big changes. I used to want a clone of myself so I could keep everyone happy

Aaah yes, the eternal mythical goal of motherhood- keeping everybody happy! As you say tomorrow is another day, and this too shall pass (I just hope it's soon!)

Ok... They're down... What's the opening bet for actual sleep tonight?!!

Same here - so far so good!

How did it go Lozario? I popped in once to settle DS after hearing whispering, turns out he was disturbed by the doorbell, and settled really well!! Hooray! DH and I had spent some time cuddling in his bed with him chatting about the day & all we'd done. His sister went in about 10mins later and he was still lying down (big improvement). Hope he manages to lie in a little too...

Well done - hopefully youve turned a corner now & it'll get better from now on