How long does it take your toddler to go to sleep at night?

[daisygatsby]

Ds is 2.4 and it takes him nearly an hour to go to sleep at night and it's driving me mad as i have to sit in his room with him all that time

My DS is also 2.4 and sings quite happily to himself for an hour or two once DH and I have put him to bed Luckily we don't have to stay with him!

Your DS is definitely old enough now for some sleep training. Make sure you have a fixed bedtime routine, put him in his bed, say goodnight and leave, shutting the door behind you. Earplugs might be necessary. If he hasn't calmed down in 20 minutes then go in and resettle him without any fuss and leave again. Repeat until he's asleep. It might mean up to a week's worth of tears but he'll be fine.

I used to have to sit with DS, but now after a story or three I put a story CD and he falls asleep while he's listening to it. May be worth a try?

DD 16 months takes anywhere from 5 minutes to 45 minutes to get to sleep. There seems to be a very narrow window for getting her off quickly. What works for us is leaving the door open with the hall light on and having a chat in the kitchen. She seems to be reassured by this.

Story CD sounds like a good idea.

A story cd definitely sounds like a good idea, am going to try that. thanks .

It probably takes him so long as you are there. I think you need to be careful not to get into bad habits wrt sitting there for over an hour.

Cds are a good idea, they work for my girls too.

different, i agree. i definitley think it takes him longer because we are there. but i just cant do the crying thing.

does he still nap during the day? And at what time/ how long for? And when is his bedtime? I've found with my DS as he is approaching age 2 that if he takes a long nap it really really interferes with how well he will settle at bedtime. I've been gradually cutting it back by 15mins at a time & am finding he needs no more than an hour if I want him to settle well at bedtime.

I'm jumping in on this as I am having the same problem. If I leave she gets hysterical, but if I stay my DD faffs about for nearly 2 hours before falling asleep. There has to be a happy medium surely?!

DD is 2.6 and goes up at around 8.15-ish. We read a few stories, she drinks her bottle of milk and I say goodnight and walk out. Sometimes she goes straght to sleep, sometimes she sings or 'reads' to herself for upto 45 minutes. I've never sat in her room with her.

DS (21 months) goes to sleep immediately. He's always been a fab sleeper and knows once he is in bed, that is it, sleep time. We put him in his cot and then walk straight out and shut the door.

He sleeps 7pm - 7am and a nap from 12.30pm-2.30pm ish.

DS is 17 months and was taking about 2 hours every night. We had the same problem as we were staying with him (I can't do the crying thing either, he becomes hysterical and I can't live with that) - we've just come back from a few nights away where we didn't wear watches and just went with the flow... It looks like he just wasn't tired when we were putting him to bed! We now let him play for a bit after his bath and sort of let going to bed be his idea and it's taking much less time. He goes to bed about 8.30 now with an hours nap around 11.15. Maybe pushing the bedtime back would work for you? The trouble is over-tired and not tired often look the same don't they? And just when you think you've got things sorted the little blighters change the rules again!

stress and charlie Up until 7 days ago I could have written your posts. We just gave her milk, popped her into bed and that was that till 12 hours later. Oh not now, something has changed, and we don't quite know what to do! She knows full well it is sleep time, but refuses to sleep. I can't make her sleep! As cupoftea said, they change the rules!

DS 22mo- anywhere between 2 mins and 30 mins. He doesnt cry- just gets up a few times some nights and comes into the sitting room. I am a hardass though and do the supernany thing if he gets up, where the first time you say "it's time for bed" and put them back, and after that you just pick them up and put them back in without saying anything.

He goes to bed betwen 7 and 7.30 and gets up at 6ish, which sounds early but works with our family as Dh and I get up then for work anyway.

To achieve the 7pm bedtime I run him like a dog during the day

We went through this when DD was 30 months. It was around Xmas and it was really really stressful.

Like you, we were sat in her room. Then started sitting with our backs to her (one of us not both of us, we did alternate nights) near the door, then eventually in the hallway. In the end we spoke to the HV who said that she just needed reassurance that we were there. So we started going into our bedroom, next door, and just chatted about our day within her earshot. It worked a treat and after a week or two, it went back to normal with her laying down and us leaving, closing the door and going back downstairs.

It took a little while but talking in the next room was definitely what worked in the end. Good luck.

See, I just don't know who to approach it. I don't want to sit and witness a show encompassing DD singing, shouting, talking for 2 hours every night, but I can't face too much crying. Maybe I try putting her down, tell her I will stay with her if she lies quietly and goes to sleep, but if she starts messing around I will walk out. And then walk out when she does start messing and leave her for a few mins shouting to tire herself out, and go back in and repeat?

I just don't know. I sometimes feel me being there is a distraction - I don't look at her or engage with her other than to lie her down, but if I walk away she SCREAMS.

omama he still naps, usually for about an hour and a half from around 12.30/1. WE have cut down his nap cos he would sleep for two and a half hours if we let him. i cant push his bedtime back any later -its around 8pm at the minute. any later and i would be going to bed myself!

I still sit with DS - he's 3.9 - but it only takes 15 minutes or so.

I found I had to be tough with the messing around and just tell DS to lie down and not talk or move, if he did try to talk or move then I count to 3 and if I get to 3 I go downstairs. If I told him to go to sleep he'd get upset because he didn't know how to go to sleep (which is fair I suppose - it's not really a conscious thing, it's just something that happens!) and if I told him to close his eyes then he would get upset and say they were broken, (in both cases genuinely upset not just a "but I want to do this" kind of thing) so I thought forget that, he just needs to lie still and quiet because I know he will fall asleep like that, and he does very soon afterwards.

If you're finding he's lying still for an hour or longer, not messing around, and still not going to sleep I'd probably cut the nap and bring bedtime forward to make up for it. He's probably just not tired.

Wish me luck, I am starting tonight. She is being told if she won't lie nicely and stop chatting I am leaving her alone.

Good luck :) If it's not too late, make sure you use a neutral phrase like "I'll go downstairs" because although it's a deterrant it's also an option - one which I'm guessing you'll hope she takes at some point down the line.

Much better tonight. She lay nicely when I told her what would happen and held my hand. She was tired, and dozed a wee bit, but couldn't seem to get deep asleep. She then starting the chat and sitting up so I left her, like I said I would. I said I was going downstairs and she went 'mama carry'! So I left, she shouted and shouted. I went back in 4 mins later, she lay down (as soon as I opened the door) and pretty much fell asleep. So it was all done and dusted in a hour rather than 2, which may still sound bad, but a real improvement. But, I still wonder why?

That sounds great! Small steps :)

My 3 yr old is away after 10 mins max on the pillow.

If he's unusually had a nap it's me lying there with him for a little while.

If we let him nap it's ideally before 12. If he really needs one later it means lots and lots and lots of running around in the garden.

I think I overestimate how much my children need to sleep sometimes and panic if they are still awake at 7:30.

Sometimes I've wasted hours of my life trying to calm and send them off to sleep when all they really need is to run around for ages.

I feel I should chill out, but when I have work to do that night and the following morning it's not easy.

Mine had lost his daytime nap at 2.4 and had an earlier bedtime as a result. But this can mean early wake up time too...It's a bloody nightmare isn't it?!

Trying to get the balance right is hard wow. My ds can run and run and run and it will still take him ages to go off . He's not ready to drop his nap altogether I dont think , he'd be struggling to stay awake by 5 otherwise. Agh. I could talk myself round in circles about it!

Don't drop the nap - too soon. A lot of sleep troubles at this age is simply that they need reassurance. Being left alone in the dark is no fun for a toddler with a rampaging imagination making it difficult to switch off. They also cannot articulate what they want very well.

I read the no cry sleep solution for toddlers. Best tips which worked were to make the bedtime routine relaxing. Stories at toddler pace - don't point out things or ask them questions etc, let them take the lead. Also no stories which are new or could be scary. And read for a while. We spend 20-30 mins reading with DS. Next thing is to tuck them in, lights out then sit with them for a bit then say you're just popping out and will be right back in a minute. Then go back in one minute. Basically teach them you're coming back, and you're there for them. You can increase the time, tell them you're going to the toilet (nothing exciting). We've been doing this with DS (2.9) and it works a treat now. Took a week or so for him to get the idea with a few false starts. Sometimes we would sit outside his room as he started to follow us.

We too thought we should cut the nap etc but it backfired. Now if he gets plenty of exercise (we've started ditching the buggy) he can nap for nearly two hours and be asleep by 7.30/8pm.