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Co-Sleeping - Why is it so controversial?

56 replies

leonsmum · 27/02/2006 11:16

Like most mums I routinely bought a cot and never intended to co-sleep. I went to great length to enchourage DS to sleep in it all night. Whilst some babies seem to do that without too much of a fuss, my DS didn't and night-times were tiring, stressful nightmare for a long time. Then, I started co-sleeping with DS at 6 months old. At first I felt guilty - my friend with a baby of his age was appalled. The co-sleeping kept happening and as I lay there one night with us all happily snuggled up together I thought - why on earth am I fighting this? Human being in other countries and for millions of years before have all slept huddled together, safe and nurtured and secure. Babies in other cultures where they co-sleep and are carried around in slings are known to rarely cry. I realised that no only was I tring to inforce a modern ideal on him - sleep away from mummy in a cot on your own all night - but then feeling like a bad mother for not achieving it. From that night on I stopped trecking in and out of his room in the cold as he cried and as he willingly slept the first half of the night in his cot, I would simply bring him into our bed when he woke up where unless he was teething, he would sleep through.
When I wake up at night feeling scared and alone I can snuggle up to my other half, so why should I force my baby to sleep alone when he's so utterly dependant on me for everything?
Is there any co-sleepers out that with similar experience to this and how did you handle MIL's and friends who didn't understand why you were doing it?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
P0SSUM · 01/03/2006 20:19

why the hell didnt you say that in the first place then? i queried you because i infererred from your post that

oh shit nevermind.

Lilyofthevalley · 01/03/2006 21:33

More tea, vicar?

Iamacreepyweirdo · 01/03/2006 22:03

I think you are all up yer own arses! Or maybe you are all having a period day?

turniphead · 01/03/2006 22:05

are we having a ruckus?

Iamacreepyweirdo · 01/03/2006 22:09

you friggin startin?

kitbit · 16/03/2006 09:39

back to the "handling MIL etc" question which is where we started...??!... it annoys me when people feel it's ok to question (unasked, usually) our parenting choices for co-sleeping, carrying our baby and rocking him to sleep, and yet if I suggest that I would not be happy to leave my baby to cry I am shot down in flames. grrr. Everyone has the right to do things their way, however much it makes me squirm to hear proud friends telling me their baby "only cried for 50 mins last night, definitely an improvement"... unless asked I bite my lip and on occasion I have been moved to tell others to show me the same consideration!
Alternatively when confrontation isn't appropriate I just go vague, smile in a slightly unhinged fashion, go "hmm, yeeeeeees...." and change the subject. People either think I'm a bit loopy or take the hint!
aargh.. makes me sound very confrontational and stroppy, I'm not honest!

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