Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Think I've had enough of this baby thing now. I want my life back.

44 replies

PickledLily · 23/05/2012 22:38

Because LO won't sleep unless she's a) being fed b) in the car - but it has to be moving c) is rocked to sleep by DH whilst being completely over tired. These aren't even fail-safe methods any longer. :(

As soon as she hears or smells me, she wakes and if I try to get her to sleep, she just roots for milk/comfort. I can't even put her in the sling any longer without her going crazy and head-banging my chest.

If I hear/read one more thread about how you just need to shush-pat your baby/just pop them in the cot and they magically go to sleep with an angelic little smile on their face, I'm going to scream.

Yes, I've tried all sorts of tricks. I know, apparently it gets better. But it still won't help her (or me) sleep tonight.

Sorry. Just a rant really.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Mondayschild78 · 23/05/2012 22:52

I have no real words of wisdom but I wanted to say I've been there and it is tough. It's a real test of endurance. Try and get some rest, tomorrow is another day. Deep breaths.....

TreesDogsBooks · 24/05/2012 00:00

Same boat here. Dd is 5 months now and wakes every hour. She's been doing this for last 2 months and previously slept through. I will be watching with interest as I need new ideas!

Original poster

PickledLily · 24/05/2012 07:54

Thanks for the replies. It's rubbish isn't it. I don't suppose there's a swap shop where we can get one of those babies that you read about in text books?!

OP posts:

lagoonhaze · 24/05/2012 08:03

Depends which baby book you are reading. Have a look at sears baby sleep book. Changed my view on sleep however I still have days when I could cry (today is one)

Original poster

PickledLily · 24/05/2012 08:37

Ah yes, Dr Sears. I must read up more on his stuff.

I shouldn't complain really because she does sleep at night, but it's the constant need to be held that is driving me insane. There's only so much you can do one-handed! It doesn't help when all my friends babies are happily gurgling away and 'larging it up' quite happily on their own, and in their own cots. Sigh.

Let me pass you a box of tissues, lagoon, and some caffeine.

OP posts:

Original poster

PickledLily · 24/05/2012 08:40

'She does sleep at night' - let me caveat that with 'only if firmly attached to me and after 4 or 5 hours of pacing/feeding/coaxing/swearing (me, not the LO, although I'm expecting an expletive to be hurled back at me any day now)'.

OP posts:

StealthPolarBear · 24/05/2012 08:43

I'm sure you'll have tried this, but have you co slept and fed lying down?
It's tough :(

ThatllDoPig · 24/05/2012 08:45

One day at a time OP and come on here anytime to have a rant. Those of us with experience of high demand babies will know exactly what you mean.

Have you got good friends in RL?

Iggly · 24/05/2012 08:46

How old?

RationalBrain · 24/05/2012 08:51

Sorry, no useful advice, but your op title made me snort my tea out . I remember that feeling so well, much sympathy. You will get there in the end.

Original poster

PickledLily · 24/05/2012 09:27

Co-sleeping is not really what I want to be doing, but we have done since day 1 and it's a life saver - it's the only way she (and I) get any sleep. Thankfully we have a large bed! I occasionally try placing her a foot or so away from me so I can lie comfortably, but she wriggles her way across in her sleep, chasing me around the bed!

She's 8 weeks, so still very little, but it's a long time to hold a baby. DH and I have arms like pop-eye.

I have met lots of lovely other mums here (new to the area and out in the sticks) but they are all much younger with a different outlook - I am missing my old friends, and the ability to just pop out and walk to a nice cafe for a change of scene. LO gets bored too, she's a very alert little thing when she's not over-tired.

Rational, I'd offer you my tea in recompense, but it's a bit cold - it's been sitting here since 6.30am, as I can't quite reach it... :)

OP posts:

juneau · 24/05/2012 09:32

Sounds like she could be a high need baby. Dr Sears has written quite extensively on this as one of his daughters was the same (he has about seven kids, so he has personal experience of just about any problem!)

HidingInTheUndergrowth · 24/05/2012 09:58

This may be obvious but do you have a sling? My ring sling is a life saver when dd is having clingy days as it frees up hands to do stuff and is more comfortable then carrying her in my arms. She also sleeps in it wonderfully (usually after some pacing around the house but we always get there).

I would also recomend box sets, preferably to watch in bed and once in a while just giving up on doing anything else. I do find that a really lazy day in bed watching spooks and just hugging and feeding dd means we all feel much better for it the next day and gets me through the really difficult days.

On the bright side my arms have never been so toned :o

StealthPolarBear · 24/05/2012 10:04

yeah, ikwym about her chasing you round the bed :o
Co sleeping was a lifesaver for me with DD too, but the luxury of just having the bed to yourself, and knowing that in her own bed she is sleeping all night cannot be beaten.
It will come - 8 weeks is still tiny, you'll start seeing improvements all the time. Not minimising what you're going through btw, I do remember how hard it is :( (though I think mine were easier than you describe - DS wanted to be held all day but slept at night with a few wakings for feeds, DD was happy to be put down during the day but insisted on spending the nights with a nipple in her mouth, sort of drifting between sleep and doze feeding - AARGH)

juneau · 24/05/2012 11:08

Agree with the sling recommendation - my DS1 loved to be held all the time. I had a Didymos sling until he was about 4 months and then switched to the Ergo baby carrier - he loved both and would snooze quite happily while I pottered around the house/town. It wasn't ideal, but eventually he outgrew the need to be held so much.

Iggly · 24/05/2012 11:13

You can just pop out with an 8 week old.

Stick in sling, bring nappies and off you go. Believe me, I have two and I wonder why the hell didn't I get out more with my first when he was small!

My dd is 24 weeks and I remember the feeling of needing space very well. When you get to 12/16 weeks, she'll be happier for shorter bursts just playing. I remember feeling pleased I could eat a cake with two hands

Then as she gets a bit older you can roll away and leave her for a bit while you have dinner.

Then she'll be happy in a cot (dd is now).

Then she'll start crawling and walking and into everything.

Then they become toddlers

When you're in the midst of it, it feels relentless. But it will pass - she's just being an 8 week old baby.

bunnyfrance · 24/05/2012 11:15

Awww, is she your first? Hold her tight, breathe in the smell of her, try and gather memories.

camdancer · 24/05/2012 11:19

8 weeks is tiring but nothing in the grand scheme of things. I'm not even going to tell you about DD2 except that we used a Kari-me wrap sling and that made all the difference.

showtunesgirl · 24/05/2012 11:57

Yes, yes, yes, it DOES pass. DD was like this at 8 weeks old, now she's 6 months and cries to be PUT DOWN as she wants to do her own thing!

RationalBrain · 24/05/2012 12:29

OP - at the risk of outing myself, I think one of my first user names on here was 'another cold cup of tea'! See, so it really does get better, I had so many hot cups of tea I had to change my name! Chin up lass.

Mitsouko · 24/05/2012 12:49

Yes...sling sling sling all around! I have a colicky, refluxy 10 week old with velcro tendencies and have traded sore arms and being a prisoner in my own home daily walks, fresh air and sunshine! Also traded screaming baby in pram for settled sleeper in sling. More sling naps and relaxed comfort during the day is making for easier nights too. I've got a Moby wrap and two Mei Tais. Moby wrap in particular is awesome once you figure out the initial confusion of wrapping 5 meters of fabric around you. I have a bad back and hardly notice I'm carrying a baby - it's that comfortable.

Is there a sling meet nearby? www.slingmeet.co.uk/

Hang in there...

forcedinsomnia · 24/05/2012 13:16

My ds was never that keen on a sling?! However he slept in his car seat on the floor in the living room or bounce/swing chair or very occasionally in a Moses basket. It was always for short "power naps" which drove me crazy!!!!! I thought I was doing it all wrong with no idea how to change it...now (9mo) he sleeps much much better and I'm getting flabby arms again! I know we all say it...but it's true...it will pass. Good luck. I'm sure you're doing a great job.

Callisto · 24/05/2012 13:23

I had a velcro baby too. Dr Sears saved my sanity and gave me the confidence to keep doing what I was doing, which essentially was carrying DD around everywhere with me and co-sleeping. I also fed to sleep every night. Sod the 'rod for your own back' brigade, I found that the path of least resistance method worked best. Hang in there and good luck.

Original poster

PickledLily · 24/05/2012 15:40

THanks for the messages of support, it's good to know i'm not alone and being able to laugh about it.

Velcro baby is a good description! DH reckons LO has velcro poos, but that's probably best left for another thread.

Unfortunately, LO hates her bouncy chair and car seat (unless it's moving at least 30mph ) I use a Close sling, but LO has recently started whinging every time she's put in it, and I think it's too hot in this weather. Are other types cooler? I'll take a look at our local swing meet.

LO is my first (God knows how anyone copes with more than 1!) and I know as soon as she becomes more independent I'll be tearing my hair out chasing after her as she crawls around the house missing this stage. Stupid, isn't it!

The getting out is a problem because there's nowhere 'to go' for a quick change of scene, without getting in the car for 20mins, and my friends are an hour away :( Meanwhile, the gardening, washing, cooking, admin etc piles up, even with DH's help, while I can only sit and watch it (which takes us back to the sling problem again).

OP posts:

camdancer · 24/05/2012 15:48

"I know as soon as she becomes more independent I'll be tearing my hair out chasing after her as she crawls around the house missing this stage."

You might but I never have! I'm on DC3 and believe me, it just gets better and better. Watching them gain independence is fabulous and a real joy. Carrying them around while they scream and cry is not something I miss at all.

It sounds like you are quite isolated and that must be hard. The gardening, washing, cooking, admin etc will all be there when you get home. Just get things done in small chunks when you can and before you know everything important will get done. -Then your LO will get big enough to join in and that causes all sorts of problems!

Flip

1 2