6 week DD can't lie on back...help please.

[Mitsouko]

Hi, my poor little DD is just absolutely unable to lie down comfortably on her back. I suspect colic and reflux but not getting anywhere with treatments. She sleeps well in her sling, lying upright on my chest or on her tummy over my lap, but put her on her back and within 20 minutes max she will be writhing and grunting in agony. Left unattended this erupts to colicky howling which can last hours. She is bf on demand every 90 minutes 3 hrs. DH gives a bottle of expressed milk once an evening so I can get 3 to 4 hoursin the spare room. We have tried infacol, colief, infant gaviscon, elevating co sleeper cot with books and several sessions of cranial osteopathy but not had any success. Know I probably just have to wait it out but hoping for some solution. My back is shot from the sling and I am sooo tired...

My DD was the same. In the end I put her down to sleep on her front. I was so very worried about doing so but it was, and 18 months on still is, the only way she would sleep.

I tried propping up her mattress will rolled up towels and all of the other kind suggestions that people gave but in the end being put on her tummy was the only thing that worked.

We put DD1 on her tummy at 5 weeks as she was in pain on her back. DD2 was 5 days old when we could see things going the same way. It is something you have to decide for yourself though as it is seriously controversial.

If she does have reflux, go back to the gp and see if they will try ranitidine. It made a world of difference to my DD's.

My DD is 3 months and we had the exact same problems in the beginning. They all stopped at 4 weeks when I started putting her down on her tummy. We never looked back, she now sleeps through most nights (and most of the day if I let her)
I know all the stuff says to put her down on her back but if she is comfortable on her tummy that's where she should be. If you're worried get one of the under mattress sensors.

I agree - get her back to the GP and get some ranitidine. My DD had terrible reflux and the ranitidine immediately sorted out her sleep problems (and the evening screaming sessions). She had to be on the highest dose of it though. Some (not very understanding) GPs can be difficult about prescribing it, but persist and see another one if necessary.
I've also read that reflux babies sleep best on their tummies, with a mattress alarm.

When i had my DD1, the consensus was to lay babies on their side - i used to just prop my DD1 up until she naturally adopted that position herself. I would speak to your doctor/hv for advice.

All of mine have slept on their fronts, my last suffering from reflux the worst but all suffering to a degree. I had read all the info about SIDs & spent hours trying various things- winding after every ounce, warming the cot, tilting, propping, constantly turning them onto their backs, dc3 was on ranitidine and domperidone - but ultimately they were in less pain sleeping on their fronts. And of course, once they can roll, they make this choice for themselves anyway.

To make ourselves easier about it, we did put the cot in our bedroom next to the bed so they could hear our breathing/and us them.

Thanks ladies...glad that tummy sleeping was safe for all your dcs. Think I'd be too frightened at the moment though to try it out...maybe with a monitor if things don't improve. Back to hv tomorrow so will try and get pediatrician referral as gp useless. DD sleeping sweetly on my chest now. Just wish I could get some rest too...

My DS almost never slept on his back, he nearly always slept on his side. So that's how I let him sleep. He didn't have a pillow so I wasn't scared he would suffocate himself, even if he rolled onto his face (he never did). He never slept on his tummy when he was a tiny baby either, although he occasionally does now he's 4 - he still prefers to sleep on his side.

Hope you get something sorted out for your DD though.

Thank you...I've just put her down to give my arms a short rest but she is making the most distressing coughing, squeaking, groaning noises. She spends all cot time in a state of half asleep agony. It's heartbreaking. And I'm just close to tears myself from lack of rest myself, holding her upright 18+ hours daily.

Infant massage / colic strokes might help alleviate your baby's wind. Ask your hv about a massage course (often run free at shrewdest centres) or google it.

Shrewdest = surestart

Thanks, I've been doing a bit of colic massage the past 3 weeks, just picked up from books and you tube. Not sure it helps but will persist. HV said at last clinic we attended that there's no baby massage on at the moment but that she will put us on the list for when / if it starts up again.

AmbyBabyNest: really helped our Dd1 sleep with reflux. Also used it for dd2 though she didn't suffer reflux. Before this we resorted to outing her to sleep in her carseat. Not ideal but it was more comfortable for her than cot sleeping & she was tiny & safe enough temporarily till er got the hammock. I really really sympathise OP, reflux is horrible for babe & v stressful for mum

Ps know mums with babies who have reflux & use Angelcare baby monitor With sensor pad to tummy sleep their LO

Thanks all. I put her down for about 30 minutes to rest my arms and eyes - she started coughing and just as I was nodding off a bit I heard her retching and when I picked her up she had spit up again and cot was a mess. Cue 20 minutes of crying while I got her cleaned up, nappy changed and colief prepared. All washed now, cuddled and feeding - at least she has moments of peace on the boob. But now we've got to start the whole cycle again. Beyond exhausted and it's only 6am. No respite now til 8 this evening when DH gets home from work. DD is my first so haven't quite grasped with how to cope just yet.

The way you cope is to do as little as you need during the day. If all you can do is sit on the sofa feeding and watching tv, then that is what you do. Housework can wait. Seeing other people can wait. Do what you need to feel human - for me, I have to shower - but nothing else.

Then get a referral to a paediatrician and get some better reflux meds.

For sleeping, have you tried propping yourself up with pillows so that you can doze while holding your DD? It won't be great sleep but it is better than nothing.

Hi, I'm another whose DD slept on her front from an early age. Before she started rolling we actually put her for naps on the couch, on her front so I could watch her sleeping. I looked up the original research before making my decision, and I would recommend you do the same and make your own, properly informed choice.

I'm happy to admit I was petrified but DD is 18m. Now and absolutely fine.

OP We had the same problem and it eas awful. The only thing that worked was a chicco soft relax chair that we securly clipped her into and she slept in that. Its a normal bouncy chair but with an adjustable back and a secure harness over their tummy. She slept in it alongside my bed and I cried with relief!!

You can pick them up on ebay or the newer model is the Mia chair. Hope things get better soon.

There are a couple of things that could be going on here, which might be more likely than reflux (although that could also be a possibility). One is oversupply of milk - is she putting on heaps and heaps of weight? That can sometimes make them unsettled and vomity. Second thing is cow's milk protein intolerance - traces of it will be in your breastmilk unless you are a vegan or don't have cow's milk products. It can cause digestive issues if it is this, as well as vomiting and odd poo.

There are links about both on the kellymom website www.kellymom.com

Have you tried swaddling? Some babies don't like to be on their backs for the simple reason that they get woken up by their arms flailing around and the act of sleeping on front keeps them tucked away out of trouble. Swaddling can have the same effect.

Oh goodness, we've tried bouncy chair and car seat - she will stay in both about 5 minutes before the crying starts. Don't think its oversupply as she's only in the 50th centile and hasn't had any massive gain in weight - plus I can rarely express more than 100ml a day. Have been hearing about the cows milk intolerance so done a massive dairy reduction. So hard to eliminate entirely as I'm vegetarian. Barely have a time to feed myself so mostly living off of toast, soup, fruit and cereal bars! Bought some great swaddling blankets and working on technique as DD fights like hell to get out when we try. She is a little Houdini with the swaddle. I feel safer zipping her in a Grobag as I worry she will wiggle out of swaddle while I'm dozing and get underneath the blanket. But dozing (for me) doesn't happen too often as lying her down causes so much distress. We are both so terribly tired. I just wish I could help her, it's so sad to see such a sweet little thing in constant distress.

For swaddling look for the Swaddle Pods by Summer. They are zip up swaddles and they are excellent. We bought one in desperation and bought another after that.

Are you able to pass her over to someone else, even just for an hour, so you can get some proper rest? Maybe your DH, mum or mil? Remember that sleep and rest are the most important things. You sound exhausted, and that isn't good for your DD.

Did you get to see the HV for a referral? My DD1 was a completely different child once we started her on ranitidine. I really feel for you as I remember what it was like.

Been looking at swaddle pod and its on my list of things to try. Also got cot wedge for bed nest so maybe having her on a better incline than the books can provide might help? No family about unfortunately. DM was here for the first 3 weeks following the birth, she was great but lives abroad and now gone home. All my family is there as I'm not from th UK. Mil lives 200 miles away and that is a very good thing as she's harder work than the baby. Was down at the weekend for first visit and it was truly exhausting. DH absolutely great and incredibly hands on, gentle, patient and loving despite working long days with hour's commute each way. Helps loads on the evenings so I get about 3-4 hours uninterrupted sleep. Weekends are nice as he takes her between feeds so I can nap. I'm thinking about getting a post natal doula to come by for a couple of hours twice a week so I can sleep.

The first few months with my DD1 were really similar and it was awful seeing her in discomfort. I wanted the happy baby I could really enjoy. Just try everything you can and you will find something that works for her.

Push for a referral for her, try another GP if you can.

We had a vibrating bouncy chair and we swaddled her in the swaddle pod and turned on vibrate. It was the only combo that enabled her to sleep and took ages to chance upon. Cost a bloody fortune in batteries for the vibrate thingy!

I was also going to suggest the amby nest. My friends DS suffered badly with reflux and she found it the only way to get any sleep at all.

I hope things improve for you soon.