Co-Sleeping, your opinion?

[babloogirl]

Just want some opinions, since my mother told me that I should stop co-sleeping with my daughter as she will never want to sleep in her own bed in the future... I didn't think it was bad, but now I am having doubts.

She is 6 months and has been ebf since birth (we started on solids but that is another story),

when we put her to bed, she goes in her cot in her room, some nights she will wake up 3hrs later some nights 1hr later (then I try to resettle her)
Then around 11pm when she wakes up for her feed, she comes in the bed with me and dh. She is in between the 2 of us, her head is higher than ours and she is on the top of the duvet.

Is co-sleeping really bad for babies?

Bad for you and your husband, maybe..? How do you both sleep with her in with you?

Do what works for you all - she does need to learn to settle herself in her own bed at some point, but six months is still very little to be worrying about life long habits

For safe co sleeping she should not be inbetween two people.

I would definitely do some reading on safe co-sleeping - UNICEF have a good leaflet - so if you do decide to continue then you have the information you need to trust your choice.

My DD sleeps with me (she is 10 months) and my DH sleeps in another room. This is the set up which allows the most sleep for all of us and thus has the most positive effect on our relationship. I personally believe (in real life) you should be careful with whom you discuss it because it is such a divisive topic and it seems everyone has a view and will share it with you whether you like it or not.

This is exactly what we did. Once they slept through the co-sleeping ended naturally. Absolutely no issues here. Not sure what the current advice is, though.

Thanks for the replies, I didn't know about not sleeping between 2 people, I will kick dh out of the bedroom from tonight onward!!!

I think you are right We need to do what is right for us, but when I talked to my mum it was like I was the worst mum in the world by co-sleeping

Cosleeping does not suit me or my family, but the bad feeling about it in RL astounds me. Why do people care so much? Do whatever you need to do as a family to get as much rest as you can. As long as your DH feels the same as you....

thats not true at all about not sleeping between 2 people.

Take a look on the natural mamas forum, I wish I had found it before as an extended BF and co-sleeper.

mumsnet advice on co-sleeping

I'm all for what works for you so you all get the most sleep!!!

yes read the guidelines to make it safe as possible.

I couldn't sleep with mine sharing a room with me, I tried but it was hideous for me but to me the idea of co-sleeping is "natural" it's what would happen normally IYSWIM

well before dd i was very against co-sleeping

then when dd came along it was the only way any of us to get some sleep

do what works for you

Co slept, followed the guidelines and all is fine, kids both moved out of the bed knot their own rooms when we decided it time.

took about a week of going through in the night to settle DS about 6 weeks of explaining to DD that she did need to be a big girl and have her won bed.

That was so much easier than the cold nights going through to feed them in their own rooms when they were babies.

We slept well with them in our bed

Me & my ds (16 months) co-sleep we love it, but I do worry he'll always been in our bed poor dh usually ends up on sofa at some point

You asked for an opinion so im going to give it.

Co sleeping IMHO is completely bonkers. There is no benefit IMHO children should sleep in a cot until 6 months (as per SIDS guidelines) and should then be in their own bed, in another room if space allows.
My children are not extensions of me, i am a wife, a woman, a nurse and before i had dcs i shared my bed with DH.
IMHO those women who choose to sleep with their dcs over their dps/dhs are going to end up very lonely.
I would be horrified if dh wanted me to sleep in another room so he could skeep with the dcs.

Honestly i think its utterly wrong, and unnatural.

Like i said, just my opinion

Dd (5) and ds1(3) both co-slept with me and oh until they turned 2 as they just wouldnt settle on there own...read guidelines and got on with it. Really suited the whole family due to us all been well rested. Plus we had no issues when they went into own room/bed as at that point they thought it was very grown up to not sleep with mummy!
Ds2 (16 weeks) on the other hand settled straight away in his cot and has never co-slept.
Do what suits you and your family best.
Good luck!

Oh and the fact that she wakes up twice before youve even gone to bed speaks volumes.
Most babies are sleeping through at ths age whether bf or ff

mosschops30 What about if you're DH enjoys co-sleeping too? We co-slept part time until recently (DS now 13 months) and we all quite enjoyed it.

What do you want to do OP? Lots of other people can tell you our opinion, but what do you actually feel is best and will work for your family?

Some people hate co-sleeping. In some cultures it is the norm, and yes parents still have sex and babies/children eventually move out.

Some links:

[http://www.isisonline.org.uk/ Infant sleep information source]]
UNICEF leaflet and much more detailed explanations and references in the health professional version
Research

mosschops30 All the studies I have read have said it is very common for babies to be waking up before 12 months.

Infant sleep information source

Like i said just my opinion.

Read "Three In A Bed". You will wonder why you ever bought a cot!

I loved co sleeping. The thing which helped make it practical for us was to convert DS's cot into a sort of "sidecar" extension/safety rail for the bed. You can do this with most cots by removing the fourth side and raising the mattress level to be level with your mattress. Then push the cot mattress over to meet yours and stuff the far side with rolled up towels. It's best to tie the cot to your bed somehow, but I never did, just checked every night for gaps.

Perfectly normal for babies to wake up in the night, BTW. The biological norm for sleeping through is around 2 years. If you don't find the night wakings a problem, then they aren't - don't let anyone tell you you're doing it wrong :)

The way you're doing it (co sleeping) at the moment doesn't sound ideal to me in terms of safety - she needs to be away from duvets and pillows completely at this age. It's best if she's on your side but if your DH finds he is aware of her movements in the night and reacts accordingly then between you is okay. If she's on your side, you can keep the duvet which makes things easier, but you'll need a bed guard, sidecar cot or for the bed to be against a wall with absolutely no gaps, even small ones.

Normal sleep patterns

Coslept with DD untill she nearly 2.

Went into her own bed like a dream

Best for me, Best for DD. DP did find it a bit hard, he was in our bed, I was in with DD so it is not like I chucked him out.

We have co-slept with each of our three. We didn't plan to but it worked out that way as with my disability it was so much easier for night feeds. DS went into a 'big bed' no problem at all at about 2 years old when I was pg with DD1. DD1 co slept until about 1 1/2 when she went into a 'big bed'. We still co sleep with DD2 who is just 1.

I never 'kicked' DH out and he loves co sleeping as much as I do. We put a hot water bottle in bed and take it out before we put the baby in and then we join them later on at grownup bed time.

Safely co-slept with both mine, now 9 & 5, absolutely no issues getting them into their own room/beds and absolutely no issues between me and dh either.

It was far and away the best way to maximise sleep for us.