Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Original poster

PLEASE help me! I'm beside myself.....

34 replies

ShaysMummy · 02/02/2006 22:03

Am trying controlled crying, sort of, with ds. I am going to go check on him and comfort him every 5 mins but not pick him up. As soon as I leave the room he starts screaming!
Last night he just would not give in and was up till 10.30pm.
I have just googled and Australians say it damages kids emotionally....
What do I do? I need sleep and so does he, He wakes up sometimes 9 times in the night.

OP posts:
Original poster
ShaysMummy · 02/02/2006 23:21

hv has advised me i need to get it sorted quick as i am preg and when i turn about 10 weeks in approx 2 weeks time (unsure of my dates, waiting for scan!!) it will start to upset the new baby if im knackered/up all the time.
i didnt think it would do the babe any harm as long as i try not to get too stressed about it surely?!

OP posts:
Angeliz · 02/02/2006 23:23

ShaysMummy, i'm 9 weeks too. If you don't get too stressed i'm sure you'll be fine. Just grab a rest whenevr you can, H.V's are well known for talking crap!!

Lilyofthevalley · 03/02/2006 13:13

I'm going thru a similar thing at the mo, dd has separation anxiety following an illness, holiday, teething etc which required a lot of cuddling and comfort.
I think controlled crying is a bit mean and if I were a baby I'd dread the nights, it must feel like total abandonment so instead of controlled crying I am doing this:

  1. Leave dd for 60 seconds from the time she wakes to see if she'll settle herself
  2. If not go in and cuddle her til she calms down
  3. Put her down as soon as she stops crying (she always starts again) and then sit beside her cot until she's asleep

I have a baby sleeping bag, don't know if you do too but I'd recommend them, they are great and allow the baby to move around, also, when you pick them up the sleeping bag comes too so there's no faffing with blankets and tucking them in when they are frantically kicking them off in anger when put back down.

This method seems to be working, slowly, dd has gone from waking up every half hour all night to waking 2-3 times, last night only once and she settled herself without me. I'm chuffed as I was starting to feel like I'd never sleep again!

Lilyofthevalley · 03/02/2006 13:19

I should say, the first time I picked her up and put her down and waited by her cot for her to fall asleep it took over 2 hours of crying before she fell asleep from pure exhaustion.
The next night tho was way easier and it's got better and better each night.

I think what ever you choose to do you just have to be consistant.

piccolamamma · 03/02/2006 22:28

Lilly of the valley - we had teething illness and holiday too and so some nights have been a bit tough (like screaming on and off for 4 hours..sigh..).
QE2 Mum - have been using techniques like yours and have worked really well.

we are slightly relaxed about the no picking up thing and sometimes picking up sends dd off really well (particularly if dh does it) - although picking up top half while bottom half still seated in cot seems to work best head flops back and she's asleep again.

i think consistency too although we change with her so do blocks of a particular technique according to her age (now nearly a year)

hope some of that helped shaysmummy

Aloha · 03/02/2006 22:29

Shaysmummy, your HV (as usual, I'm afraid) is talking utter crap, apparently designed to make you feel bad. Take no notice whatsoever. She's a silly cow.

hermykne · 03/02/2006 22:43

shaysmummy
what is your ds sleeping in the daytime?
and when does he go to bed at night and how long is it since he has slept in the day til that?
does he have 1/2 naps in the day? how long for?

sorry for all the questions but i think night time sleep has to be considered wih t the whole day, to get a good pattern going.

lellybel · 09/02/2006 12:19

ShaysMummy If you want tips on PU/PD try the baby whisperers site. Sorry can't do links but google either Tracey Hogg or baby whisperer. It's a US site in set up by TH very much like mumsnet but based on her work. Be warned though they are very anti CC and loyal to TH ! HTH sorry its so late.

Bugsy2 · 09/02/2006 12:39

Please don't torture yourself about controlled crying. I wish it wasn't called that - if it was called controlled comforting, I think people's perceptions would be much better.
With CC, you should be going into your baby initially every 2 mins to reassure them that you are there but to be very calm and repeat the same words. You can keep going in every 2 mins if you like, so they know that you are there and they are not abandoned but that they are not going to get hugs, cuddles or stay up and play.
They are learning to go to sleep all by themselves and they don't like it very much initially because it is different to what they expect, but they can't tell you that, so they cry.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread