A thread for my early waking friends who want a whinge

[fififrog]

A few weeks back there were quite a few of us with DCs about a year old, too young for gro clocks etc waking up TOO BLOOMING EARLY. Where are you all at now? DD seems to be getting earlier. Cough not helping but we had 4.55 this morning. I hate to say it but I actually enjoyed her being ill last week as she slept til 6.30 once. Some mornings I think "just a long phase we can live with it" but this morning I was in total despair. Will I ever be able to make it to 10pm without thinking I will regret staying up this late??! I know some of you will say stick with the messing around with morning nap, it will fix it, but to be honest I don't believe it will and I just want to WHINGE to people who will understand!!

[vix206]

4.55 for us this morning but I let him whinge in his cot until 6.... Mean mummy! He wasn't crying, just making the odd disgruntled shout!

[vix206]

Ps welcome sheep!!

[sheeplikessleep]

Thanks Vix, it's reassuring to know I'm not alone!

How do other DHs / partners react to the early waking? DH and I are at loggerheads a bit, as I think he feels quite frustrated that we should do something practical to 'solve' it. We are arguing more because we're both tired and I've put on half a stone I'm sure in the last 18 months because of my constant need for sugar! He is great though, and we do get up on alternate days.

DS2 has now worked out that if he shouts out 'MAMA!!!!' at the top of his voice over and over, one of us goes in.

[Thatisnotitatall]

Didn't actually get up for the day til 6.45, but before anyone flames me this is because I had been up more times than I cared to count in the night (don't think I had a full sleep cycle, probably up hourly at least but don't let myself look at the clock on nights like this as I end up wanting to bang my head against a wall) to DC3 (plus once to DC2) and had been up with him from 5am and managed to re-settle him at 5.45am - DC1 is meant to catch the school bus at 7am so I missed it and had to drive her, but luckily everyone got where they needed to be in time.

Sheep my DH has managed to only ever do one night duty with a baby - DC1 when she was 9 months old (she is now 6), somehow I do all night wakings and all get ups before about 6.30am (it started like this because of breast feeding and continued because I am mostly a SAHM...). So one of the weekend mornings each week I just bring DC3 into our room whenever he wakes for the day, where he absolutely does not snuggle down in bed but hares around jumping on us, having to be saved from falling off the bed and rescued from under it etc. til DH is thoroughly awake and takes him and whichever of the older 2 have emerged by then too downstairs, and I go back to sleep.

[Thatisnotitatall]

Meant to say I have also put one weight/ failed to lose the baby weight due to compensating for sleep deprivation with sugar - its a slippery and dangerous slope now I am rationing DC3 to 3 BFs a day and none at night! Its all very well knowing you shouldn't do it, but I defy anyone to cope with long term sleep deprivation of very interrupted nights and early mornings without compensating in some not entirely healthy way!

My DH gets up at 5.45am for work anyway (out the door within half an hour so no actual help) and sleeps though the night waking, so he is only affected by DS3s sleep if I moan about it or one morning a week at the weekend. All my kids are or have been early risers so the weekend alternate lie ins are long established now.

[Meggymoodle]

Yuck - 5.30 again. One nap, two naps, seventeen naps, it makes no difference. Today was the first morning she didn't have a breastfeed, ever in her life...... this could be the beginning of the end. I laid on her floor (we have a couple of duvets in her room for the purpose) at 5.30 to see if she'd go quiet, sometimes she does (not today) but she was having none of it and I totally couldn't be bothered this morning so I put her lamp on and gave her books in her cot. DH came and hauled her out at 6.30 and she never even looked for the boobs.

She's coming up 17 months so I may soon be free. I have no illusions that it will make absolutely no difference to the time she wakes though :(

[fififrog]

Yeah, not evicting myself yet. Don't know how many times she woke last night but at least 3 and one was for about 45 mins. DH slept through that one. Then up for the day 5.19 - her old favourite time. Ignored til 5.58. I suspect she might actually have woken earlier though as despite 2 naps at nursery today she was hysterical this eve, flailing all over the cot. Didn't even bother trying to see if she'd settle herself, but she did end up asleep in five minutes of hysteria when I sat next to her. So asleep at 6.30. Why oh why is she so knackered at the moment?

Sheep my DH's preferred tactic has always been "just ignore her", and he has now trained himself to sleep through her. So I now lie ther awake listening to him sleeping and her whimpering...

[kf1979]

I think I belong here too. :(

My DS is 10 months old, has just about started occasionally sleeping through (yay!) but is waking around 5 every morning (boo). Prior to this he was sleeping 6.30 - 6.30 with one wake for milk in the night.

He usually goes down for a 1.5 hr nap at about 8.30-9 am, depending on how long I can keep him up, and another similar length kip starting any time between 2-3, although he often really fights this, flailing like a maniac and scooting round the cot.

He's then knackered by 6.30 and I struggle to keep him up beyond 7 at a push. He regularly seems overtired and wakes screaming throughout the early part of the night and needs settling but seems to do a bit better 12-5. I just wish we could push back his wake time a bit.

Writing this down I realise it doesn't seem as bad as some of you lovely ladies are facing, but our home situation is a bit fraught right now (we live overseas, I've been quite depressed, DH's job in a very stressful period) and a decent sleep would make all the world of difference to us all!

This nap limiting idea, is it limit the am nap to an hour then let them sleep what they want in the afternoon? Might give it a bash.

Anyway, helps to vent here as I seem surrounded by smug 'my little darling sleeps 7-7 and has done since 3 days old' types in RL!

Here's wishing us all a lie in very soon, and in the meantime lots of bloody strong

[Iwantcandy]

Can I join? D's sleep is beyond a joke! Usually 4 or 5 am wake up. But 3.15!! Ouch!

[Tertius]

Morning all - my 8 month old got up at five am today - after multiple wakeups. Seems she is dropping her night to 11 hours total not 12 so something going on there. Anyway, hoping not to join this thread but just to pop by and say my son, who is now 3, woke at 6 ish til he was one, then 5ish... And the only thing that cracked it was a later nap and bedtime as he never slept more than 10 hours. But hurray there is hope. Once he dropped all naps he added them to his night and if the room is dark and he has had enough exercise he now sleeps 11 hours (8pm to 7am)... Heaven!

And now it all starts again with number 2.... Eeek

[Thatisnotitatall]

Well for only the 3rd time in his life, dc3 (who will be 1 tomorrow) slept for 8 straight hours without a wake up ... but not so fortunately the 8 hours ended at 4am and he has been awake ever since, though I spent a solid hour and a half trying before it got too late for there to be any point.

[Iwantcandy]

Oh. Anyone tried anything that did work? Ds is 7.5 months and the days he sleeps in til 5 are a real blessing

[fififrog]

iwouldwantcandytoo if I had a 3.15 wakeup! From my perspective, which might give some of you hope and fill others with despair, we had some success dealing with unsettled earlymornings when she was waking about 4am by just ignoring her if she wasn't screaming the house down, and going in and sitting in silence if she was. We decides she does not leave the cot before 6am unless ill. That worked over the course if a couple of weeks to get her to 5.15 am reliably (she wakes earlier about once a month) but we have had no success getting beyond 5.15 other than if she chooses to sleep longer.

5.32 this morning. Not too bad. And no hysteria in the bath and settled quietly 15 mins ago, despite just one 50min nap at midday.

kf we did manage to deal with a previous period of 5ams (at about 7.5mo) by not letting her nap before 9am. I was finding everything was getting earlier and earlier. Nowadays though she's less systematic about her bedtimes and waketimes (eg how come she had more energy tonight to make it an extra 15mins and go to bed calmly?). You will find loads of posts on other threads by omama and loveisagirlsomethingorother who suggest the nap cutting should leave you with 30mins at 9.30am, then 2 hours after lunch. I tried this and concluded it made no difference, but it seemed to work for both of them in the end. I notice littlemilla hasn't been back here in a while, I think she was doing that. But then my DD will never sleep 2 hrs in the afternoon anyway...

Peaceful nights and lie ins to all!

[woollyjo]

aaagh! I work 3 days a week and have to be up at 6am to get us all sorted and out of the house by 7:20am. So why did I have 2 sleeping girls at 6:30am this morning? they only do it when I have to go to work! tomorrow we'll be back to 5am

[kf1979]

Thanks fifi! I'll research a bit more as 5 am starts plus hideous developmental leap behaviour plus teething is shredding my nerves!

[Iwantcandy]

Nooooooooo

[LadyBabsWalthamCuddles]

I'm afraid I may have to join the club, both my DC are ill.

I haven't been to sleep yet

not that it's worth it now as I have to be in two hours

[vix206]

I was up at 3.15 yesterday with ds, this morning 5. At 20 months a lot of my friends children are doing 12 hours and sleeping until 7am I know we mustn't compare but aaaaaaargh!!!!

[vix206]

Iwantcandy for me focussing on early nights helped for 2 weeks but now ds has become resistant to that and basically we are back to the normal standard of waking any time between 3 and 5 and napping 1 hour tops in the day.

[Iwantcandy]

Question-I know some mners think an early morning nap makes early waking worse. What counts as an early nap and what counts as going back to sleep. Eg this morning Ds was up at half three ish. U gave him a bottle, put him back in his cot and sat with him and at 5.30 he went back to sleep til 7

[vix206]

For me that's not a first nap. That's going back to sleep after a long night waking. Anything before 4 is a night waking for me, although ds doesn't seem to think so....

[fififrog]

I'm with Vix on that one, anything before 8 is not a nap for me. Once or twice she's conked out at 7, and I've felt that was still night sleep. Probably because I was still in my PJ's!

Well I cursed myself by saying I felt things had improved. We've now had 4 mornings of 5.20-5.30. Oh well, at least she's not been screaming through her bath an has gone to bed quietly at normalish bedtime!

[sheeplikessleep]

I do worry DS2 is so overtired and that causes early wakings.

The days he does have like a rare mammoth 2 1/2 hours daytime nap (and often later, rather than 12pm), he gets his occasional jump in the air 6am start the next day.

Anyone else have this theory?

[vix206]

Ugh. DS has a cold/cough so wakes in the night and is wide awake at 5am every day. I've so had enough!!

[vix206]

Ps yes over tiredness is a MAJOR cause of early wakings. Just wish I could get my son to take longer naps. He's in bed by 6.30 now but can't get past 5am at the moment.