A thread for my early waking friends who want a whinge

[fififrog]

A few weeks back there were quite a few of us with DCs about a year old, too young for gro clocks etc waking up TOO BLOOMING EARLY. Where are you all at now? DD seems to be getting earlier. Cough not helping but we had 4.55 this morning. I hate to say it but I actually enjoyed her being ill last week as she slept til 6.30 once. Some mornings I think "just a long phase we can live with it" but this morning I was in total despair. Will I ever be able to make it to 10pm without thinking I will regret staying up this late??! I know some of you will say stick with the messing around with morning nap, it will fix it, but to be honest I don't believe it will and I just want to WHINGE to people who will understand!!

Hey folks! Just back from holiday. We had actually rather a food week sleep-wise. Mostly 6am (or at least quiet til then) apart from two days of teething. Naps were unsurprisingly here there and everywhere as we were out a lot (despite rain). She managed 6.15 one morning after a day of soft play, feeding farm animals, swim, walk (slept 45 in sling), run around gardens, an hour digging on the beach, picnic tea, bath, bed at 7.15 - maybe we just need to make life more high-octane??! I just don't have the energy! Weirdly, the night we arrived, she slept til 6.35!!! No idea what was going on, she'd spent half the day in the car...

Back to teething now - nothing visible but lots of finger chewing, dribble and food refusal. So am expecting a bad morning!

think how's work going? meggy you do give me hope... As does Vix who has vanished so all must be going well there.

Well we reached new depths today. 4am she also played up going down to sleep last night. I put her in with me but she wouldnt go off despite seeming really tired still. I got up at 5,have a bad headache.

Does anyone notice their dc's sleep is generally quite fragile? DD will only sleep in the day in pram or car and will not transfer from car to buggy even if she has only just gone off.

Today i gave dh a lift to work at 7 and she fell asleep but woke as soon as i moved her despite being up since 4

Feeling a bit despairing today,how do you keep your spirits up when you have no life?

I've come for a bit whinge....
DS is an early riser and still wakes 2-3 times a night at 8 mo. I've been I'll and at work this week so really been feeling it. So, last night DP went to mates house to watch the UFC (ultimate fighting) that was on in the wee hours as its broadcast live from the USA, because a friend of theirs was competing. Great I thought, a few hours of remote control and bed hogging for me.
Got DS off to sleep about half 7 and because he's been poorly too he slept til 12. I fed him and amazingly he settled straight away. Then I got woke at 2am. By DP. Who was on his way home (bout 10 min away) and his parents were sitting in their car outside our house. They had just got back off holiday and lost their house keys. Could I get up and give them the spare. Not that I begrudge helping them ( they had a nightmare getting home) but MIL said why the hell did DP wake me up when he was almost home? They were happy to wait for him to sort out key and no need to disturb me!!!
The worst part is if he hadn't woke me I would have got 5hrs of uninterrupted blissful much needed sleep as DS didn't stir til 5!!!!!!!
I (grumpily) mentioned this to DP as I got up and he took the hump saying he'll ring his mum and tell her off for waking me.....no you tit, it was YOU who woke me damn it. God knows why you felt the need to when she didn't.
Now he's enjoying his lie in and I have a headache....

Whinge over. Here's hoping we all get some more sleep soon!!!!'

Argh I'm getting it at both ends! Ds won't settle properly tonight. Keeps tossing and turning or standing up in cot unless I hold his hand. So tired!

It's all change here. 2 post 7 am wakeups but frequent night time waking and won't settle until I eventually bring him in with me. Dh is on nights and I have work tomorrow. Can't handle another night like last night!

We're all over the shop - anywhere between 4:45am and 6am.

We've bought the Richard Ferber book and are getting tough.

He's left in his cot for at least 15 mins (regardless of time he wakes) and then no bottle until 6 or 6:30am.

He's then only put down for nap at c.10am.

Today we're going to let him sleep for as long as he wants as he's beginning to just wnat one nap a day. Then he needs to be asleep by 7am.

Desperate times and we're determined to try and stick to this for the next two weeks to see what happens. Wish me (us) luck.

Sigh. It is a mess isn't it? We had 5.10 yesterday as predicted, and it was nearly 5.10 again this morning but she seemed to go back to sleep. I heard a thump at 5.30 but then went back to sleep myself til 6.10 - DH was reading, reckons he heard the odd noise and that she was def awake from 5.50, but I don't care as long as I can sleep through it!

led I can't remember how old yours is? Mine has had phases of very fragile sleep, but just now she's doing ok, the othe day I transferred her from pushchair to car, then half an hour later to the cot, and she went happily back to sleep each time. She is currently pretty good when she knows she wants sleep, but of course in the early morning she's well rested and just doesn't want to sleep any more.

It is very annoying how they keep changing their habits - just as you work it out they're onto the next thing. And I feel for you think that sounds like no fun at all. I said at the time (January) that I'd rather take this 5.15 start business over having to get up in the night.

ipswitch Aaaargh! ;-)

The thing is, Fifi I am now kicking myself that we have probably reinforced DS's behaviour over these last few months. Reading the book I can now see that by caving and giving DS a bottle to try and get him back to sleep, he's now expecting it. And actually probably wakes at 5am in anticipation of it.

FFS

We're in the midst of trying to move house and this is probably THE WORST time to try and break him on this. But I figure that by moving he's going to be distrubed anyway, so let's try and get good habits under way!

AAaaaaaaaaaargh.

Well today we had 8.15am!!! However that was preceded by Ds being restless and waking up every 20 mins or so til I gave him some calpol at 10pm. He then slept til midnight but then woke up and wouldn't go back to sleep until 2.45 amish when he finally went to sleep in his pushchair. Think he has a cold/teething so being a bit more upright helped him breathe. He us currently screaming while dh tries to put him to sleep. Luckily dh is on night duty tonight as I can't face another restless night followed by work.

I see some of you are getting some sleep tips from a book. Which one?

It's the randomness that sends me loopy. Last three days, after 7am (hooray, I had to check she wasn't dead), 5.40am, then today was 6am. What is that about?

I've got an early riser too. Usually 5am, comes into our bed and fidgets until 7 - just in time for me to have to get him up so that DS1 can get to school, plus 2 feeds in the night. He's 6 months, and I feel like I need to sort out the early wakings. We're BLW, so he probably still needs the night feeds at the moment. Possibly. Maybe.

I am going to jinx any progress, but I think we might be making progress. A week in of being mean and he appears to be sleeping longer. This morning was 6:45am but that was probably because he struggled to nod off last night. Saying that, it's meant he's woken earlier in the past, so who knows?

We're being really tough. Leaving him for a looooooooong time before going in, earlier it is, longer he's left (this is scream dependent, obvs).

But the biggest one is witholding milk. He's not having any until 6:30am earliest - just gets water. We have also curbed daytime milk to make sure he's eating more solids, esp at supper.

Having read the ferber book, I think I'd conditioned him to expect milk as soon as he woke up and so by breaking this association we might be making progress.

As alwasy, I don't expect it to last. But he's been teathing horrendously this last week and is being a general sod. So to have the progress we've had I am hoping it's because of tough measures.

I've been worrying about the milk thing. Whatever time she wakes she hollers for milk at 6am. I was planning to push it back once she was mire reliably sleeping til 6. I wish.... We're back at about 5am at the moment. I fear for tomorrow - she ate no tea at all. Half a fishcake for lunch, half a cup of milk and one biscuit 3pm - I too am cutting down again to see if it makes her eat better in the evenings, though nothing to do with sleep, just have a lot of fights. that's it - not even any pre-bed milk...

milla so glad these things are maybe working for you. Pity they do nothing for me. Maybe i should push back milk til 6.30 but then I'd probably have 1.5 hours of grumbling to deal with... Do you go get him before milk time, incidentally, or leave him til 6.30?

Fifi He doesn't get milk until at least 6:30am. Might be worth building up to it as DS was whining lots to start with, but is now getting more resigned used to it.

We had 5:45am today but that was almost definitely because he had a late second nap yesterday. We've just bought and are trying to do up our new house before moving stuff in on Wed. He was in the way so it was easier to try and get him to sleep . So he didn't wake up from kip until 4:15pm.

He didn't have milk until 6:30am and then brekkie at 7:15am.

See what I mean is, if she wakes at 5am and I don't want her to have milk til 6.30, do I leave her in the cot til 6.30? That seems too long to me... Gut instinct tells me I should still get her at 6.00...

Hi fifi no, no, don't leave her for 1.5hrs! I am leaving him for half an hour max, so long as it's just general "mamamamamama (come and get me up!)" rather than full-on howling.

He then comes in to my bed so that I can continue to chill and snooze whilst he has a cuddle and then goes exploring in my room. He has water here. Will protest a bit at first but once he realises that he's not getting anything more he's fine. I then go and get him milk - 6:30am if it's been early. But on Sunday he didn't have it until 7am, then brekkie at 7:30am.

We don't tend to leave my room until 7am, so no proper toys.

Apparently it's all about setting the boundaries that you want - so we've said that 6:30am is the time that we'd like him to be getting up and so peg everything around that.

Does that make sense?

I hope you ladies don't mind my joining in...really REALLY need to moan about this...I could seriously hug ALL of you...I've been feeling so completely and utterly miserable about my nearly 15 month old son who has been waking early since he was about 7 months old. Felt so alone till now.

Tried blackout blinds, later bedtime, earlier bedtime, fiddling around with limiting naps, two naps, one nap, white noise machine to drown out dawn chorus, more milk, less milk, snack after bath time, solids before milk in the morning, wake to sleep (stirring him an hour before his 'usual' wake time to encourage him into a new sleep cycle), leaving him in cot till after 6am every day then doing 'dramatic wakeup' by throwing open curtains, literally EVERY f-ing thing I could try. I've paid for two 'baby sleep' websites to try and get help and N-O-T-H-I-N-G works.

I had severe post-natal depression which only began improving about 6 months ago but the sleep deprivation is making it resurface-except now it's probably ante-natal depression because I'm also 6 months pregnant-unplanned-stupid, stupid me!

I just want him to sleep past 6am but it's just not happening and wake times are pretty inconsistent in that it can be anywhere between 4.30-5.30 with the odd 5.40am here and there. I lie awake from around 4am waiting for him to wake up now. Shattered, depressed, scared s**tless about new baby and another bout of depression AND the clocks go back in October so will be up all night with new bubba and starting the day at c.4am with the 1st one...sob.

OK, rant over...sorry about this ladies---just HAD to share with women who don't have wonderfully perfect babies that sleep 7-7 or even 8am! Grrrrr...

Oh, feeno how shit. I can't speak to the depression so I hope you have RL support with that.

When the clocks changed last time, DD magically adjusted so that she was still getting up at 5am (even though that would have been 4am to her) within a week. No idea why but maybe it will work the other way for you and your DS will adjust to the clock change.

I know the feeling of 'nothing works'. Nothing worked with DD until she hit about 18 months. Now she is a little better. 6.30am this morning which feels like a lie in until 11am used to .

I had a 6:40am again today, and that was after a late nap yesterday (woke up at 4pm!). I am convinced that the Ferber techniques are helping.

HOWEVER, it's worth adding (and I hope that this could give you hope feeno), his walking has really gone up a gear. So he's toddling around everywhere now, so I wonder if this means he's using up more energy? Not sure of your little boy is on the move yet?

Whatever, I am going to stick to this new regime and hope that it leads to one of those magical children that sleeps until 7am. Even Sunday's effort made DH and I more civil towards one another - neither of us was as tired and we all got up together. Unheard of on the weekends.

Feeno - welcome aboard but sorry you are here! Ds has had a dreadful cold and croup and I now have the dreaded lurgy. However we had a minor miracle on Saturday night. After no real sleep since Monday he slept upright in his pushchair because of his coughing from 9pm to 8.30am!!!! With me uncomfy on the sofa next to him. Of course now he doesn't want to go back in his cot! That makes a grand total of 4 good nights sleep in nearly 10 months.

Never mind feeling like crap any one else looking like crap? I have new wrinkles, spots, flakey skin, thin hair and I've gained 4 stone. Mo idea how to lose it as I struggle with my weight anyway and have huge sugar cravings with this exhaustion

Its so good to hear from other parents who also have children who dont sleep. All my friends babys seem to be perfect. Or are they lying?

We have had teething hell for the last few days with shocking sleep one way or another. She's not eating anything. It's very distressing. But v cheerful today apparently and managed to eat a yoghurt, a few biscuits and half an avocado. So 5am two days in a row, coslept last night, DH in spare room.

Milla great news! Annoyingly sounds like you're doing what I'm doing only I have milk ok at 6am. So not sure there's much I can do. Milk at 6 doesn't stop her waking at 5 so I'm not sure 6.30 will help any more.

feeno big hug! Feel very bad for you. I know what you mean about lying there waiting for them to wake. So annoying. Fingers crossed things get better...

think i finally bought myself some new underwear so no longer wearing scummy nursing bra. I feel like I look like a new woman. I am putting on weight now I spend all day sat at a desk. Very depressing.

Ps Milla final straw of hope to clutch to: what time is your bedtime?

Thanks MrsTP...it's so bloody awful. Maybe a sill question but what's RL stand for? Feel like I'm being completely dumb...I'll probably slap my forehead when you tell me what it is thinking "oh yeaaaah!"

Milla I'm extremely envious. I feel like 5.40 is a lie in these days as since posting, my son has started waking at 4.10 and refusing to go back to sleep-the Ferber regime I guess will be in his book...perhaps I should give it a shot? How old is your little one? As for walking, DS started cruising around 7 months, 1st steps at 9, confident walker since 11 months and doesn't sit still for a second so unfortunately no hope there for me on that score either 😢

thinkf I do know how you feel. I've aged about 100 years and put on s**tloads of weight since I'm comfort eating so much. No energy to exercise-just tooooooo tired ALL the time.

Fifi Thank you-we went through the teething fiasco couple of weeks ago-twas a complete nightmare as my little man just refused to eat anything for about 6 days-he lost loads of weight-but I just kept gaining. Can't remember last time I bought any nice underwear-can just about manage wearing one of those awful comfort bras which just makes me look like I've got huge saggy boobs over my disgustingly huge bump which looks about ready to pop even though I'm only 6 months. So depressing when people keep asking " just a few weeks left now?" and I'm like Aaaaaaargh! No! 3 months yet! and they stare at my bump confusedly saying "gosh, you're big for 6 months aren't you?" Yeah-thanks!

isimma hugs to you and all of you in fact. It's so so so horrible-I'm at the end of my tether cuz its getting earlier and earlier every day-how do we cope eh? Although I don't think I really am.

4.40 this morning. Aaargh. She is basically starving. fee glad to know Someone else had had a similar teething nightmare recently. Somehow makes it more bearable. Luckily she managed a bit of porridge this morning. At least she was 91st centile so not exactly wasting away! By the way I think RL = real life :)