Did anyone put a young baby in their own room?

[BellaCB]

DD is 6 weeks old and we're wondering about moving her into her own room in the next few weeks. Partly this is because she will soon be too big for her moses basket, as she's a long baby, and we can't fit the cot into our room. But it is also partly because she is so incredibly noisy! DP and I are struggling to get decent sleep even though DD is (blissfully) at the moment sleeping from 8pm-3.30am. She's not too noisy when we go to bed, but after her 3.30 feed she snorts and grunts and does this really odd stretching manouevre complete with enormous groans, even though she is asleep - which keeps us awake! We've tried all different ways and times to settle her after this feed but nothing has altered the noises, its obviously just something she does. Also, DP and I go to bed and wake up at different times most nights so I wonder if we are disturbing her.

Anyway, because we don't have a spare room, or room for a spare bed in the nursery, I'm starting to wonder about moving her into her own room. The doors with be open so we will hear her when she gets unsettled (as opposed to just snorting!). Has anyone else moved their LO over at 8-10 weeks-ish?

Mine went into their own room at about 5 weeks.

Would be interesting to know SIDS stats based on babies who have died and were still sleeping in parents rooms?

And whether the sids data for children in parents room also shows other factors such as
Smoking

I'm sorry I don't understand why you would wilfully ignore solid advice about SIDS. Yes, advice changes, but based on good, solid research. Babies are not supposed to sleep alone, millions of years of evolution show this as well as scientific research on SIDS. This study www.sidsandkids.org/wp-content/uploads/Room_Sharing.pdf suggests room sharing reduces the risk of SID by up to 50%.

6 months is a very short period of time.

Just read bit further - other studies quite a five or ten fold risk of SIDS if in another room!

It's not wilfully ignoring - we make our own judgements - there are lots of other factors that are involved in SIDS besides sleeping in same room such as smoking , sleeping position etc.

We assess the risk .

This from NHS website shows how rare SIDS is .

How common is it?

SIDS is rare. For example, more than 300 babies died suddenly and unexpectedly in the UK in 2007. This makes SIDS the most common cause of death in babies over one month old, although the risk of your baby dying from this is still small.

To be honest they really dont know what causes SIDS and until we fully understand it we will continue to make what we feel is best for us as a family.

I agree BarryNormansSofa.

BarryNormanSofa, yes, thankfully SIDS is now rare. Now we understand the risk factors and parents (largely) adhere to the advice. If parents stop adhering to the advice SIDS rates will go up again. Babies being car crashes is also 'rare' but you wouldn't consider not using a car seat would you? I'm sorry, but if your judgement is to ignore the advice than that is your choice and your right, but you are choosing to ignore it as you are not following it. Anyway, that is just semantics. I simply don't understand why so many parents ignore this one piece of advice but follow all others e.g. back to sleep, tucked covers etc. Just because this piece of advice is less convenient for parents.

Grobags that extract does indeed talk about sleeping in other rooms but also cross refers other issues (eg sleeping position, bedding type, supervision of parents etc). So to reiterate again sleeping in same room is one factor but bedding arrangement , sleep position etc is very relevant .

I am not sure all parents do follow the advice to the letter Grobags. Just like do all parents take precautions about smoking near children or other guidance (not everyone uses car seats- yes It is less usual but it happens) .

And it's about proportionate risk- there is a certain element of judgement in a lot of areas of parenting. For example people decide on room sharing and consider the sids risk. You also get vehemence about decisions to vaccinate with those who are pro/anti vaccine quoting to relative risk and you only have to look on threads here to see that you get similar levels of incredulity about decision to vaccinate or not.

The people who are saying the baby slept better when it went into its own room are demonstrating the point - one of the reasons they say to keep the baby in with you is to stop it sleeping too deeply - you disturbing (regulating) their sleep is one of the things that reduces the risk of SIDS. Yes - luckily all of the babies on this thread are fine - others are not.

It is not a matter of YOU being able to hear them, it's a matter of THEM regulating their breathing from your breathing - they can't do that from another room

Of course, this is one of the many decisions you make as a parent after assessing the risks. Please just be sure you have read the guildlines and understand WHY it is recommended before ignoring their advice.

Sorry to start such a fight...

I do appreciate all the comments, I really do, but I have looked at all the information and made my own decision on the risk factors. Personally, I think there is also a risk factor involved in parents who are incredibly sleep-deprived and who then struggle to get through the day, whether it is struggling to stay awake or struggling to keep their patience because of their tiredness. I know that I have struggled with my LO when I am tired and that if I could get a little more sleep then life will be much easier for the two of us. As I said, when you are parenting on your own a lot and can't rely on your DP coming home every evening at 6 to help out, being just a little more awake and alert during the day is just incredibly important.

I put both of mine in their own room from the word go.

Oh good grief Bella - are you quite new?? This is most definitely not a fight, this is a reasonable discussion for MN

Ha! Pretty new, I guess . I like my threads to be calm and polite!!

DS straight into his own room when we came home from the hospital, so 3 days old. It was a small flat, and he room was in between our bedroom and the living room, and we had a monitor.

Lots of different things work for lots of different people, but we found this best for us as we were able easily to hear noises, grumbling, crying etc, but weren't kept awake by snuffling and breathing and squirming.

He's 4 now and, coincidence or not, he's a great night time sleeper. (gone at 7/7:30 not be seen or heard from again until 6:30/7)

Bella, sorry to hear you are struggling. I've been there too, it sucks. All I ask is that you read chippings excellent post below so you understand the protective role of room sharing. It is not about whether you can the baby or not.

Yes - clearly quite new if you don't think this has been calm and polite. We must invite you to the next humdinger!!

NoWayNoHow - you do realise that the point of them sleeping in with you is to regulate their breathing - to keep them breathing - and reduce the risk of sids - it is not incase they cry and you don't hear them? Of course it doesn't mean all babies that go in their room are going to die of SIDS - but it does mean they are at a greater risk of doing so.

Grobags Thank you :)

Of course people need to make their own decisions and do what is right for them (sleep is very important) - it just worries me that so many people do it and don't appear to understand why the recommendations are there and what the risk is that they are actually taking - and it is NOT a crying baby that doesn't get heard :(

Chipping - genuine question as I am well past personally worrying about the fact that my baby didn't sleep in our room but how exactly does the baby regulate its breathing by listening to the parents' breathing - if the parents are having difficulty sleeping themselves (because of the noise of the baby ) and are restless/getting up and out of bed all the time etc etc - how does the baby 'regulate' against that background - or does it really not matter and just the fact that you are all in the same room 'regulate' the breathing in some way?

It would be interesting to do some research on whether that babies that learned to sleep in their own rooms are 'better' sleepers than those that didn't - or would that be too contentious? .

Chipping thanks, yes, I did need reminding what a terrible mother I am. I clearly don't care whether my child lives or dies. Forgive me for speaking out of turn.

I kept DS in with us for 4 months, til he learnt to roll and the Moses basket started to rock alarmingly! I would have like to keep him in with us until 6 months, but our room isn't big enough to fit a cot in.

Ragwort - it is thought that the fact that the parents move around/snore/breath etc stops the baby sleeping too deeply and basically 'forgetting' to breath and that when you sleep with others your breathing does 'get in time' with theirs.

Apparently pointing out the risks is contentious, I can only imagine how a thread about which creates better sleepers would kick off

ItstimetoBurn - sometimes you have to weigh up the different risks and go with the one the that you think best. Life isn't black and white is it :)

NoWayNoHow - saying 'Do what's best for you, it doesn't make any difference - we did and our child is fine, in fact a good sleeper' is dangerous. Anecdote does NOT equal data and blindly encouraging people to 'just do it' is really very dangerous.

People need to make their own informed decision - based on research, not on anecdotes by people who were lucky.

People have based their decision on research , sleeping in same room as baby is just one of the suggested factors to reduce risk.

This is the one that can cause parents most problem , lack of space lack of sleep by both parties - the other factors people can be more proactive about - give up smoking , sleeping position , use of dummy , room temperature.

Those of us that choose earlier than 6 months to sleep separately have not done it on a whim, we assessed the risk and made a decision based on that risk .