For people with early wakers and no judgey pants, is there SOMETHING we can give them?

[MissHonkover]

It's been about 10 months of waking any time from 4.30ish to 5.15ish. We can't stand it any longer. Utterly sick of it.

Is there anything that can be prescribed or bought?

Please, I don't want to hear from anyone who says "just go to bed earlier".

Just a ray of hope -dd2 did this, from about 6months to nearly 2. She's 2.5 now and I can't get her out of bed in the mornings! (and she still has 1.5hrs at lunch) I used to have to go in at 4.30/5, and let her go back to sleep/snooze on mean the chair in her room until an acceptable time for getting up (eg 6 - cbeebies starts then, so I could snooze on the sofa!). Frigging freezing in the winter. If i let her get up at 5 it was a miserable day for us all, as she still did need the extra sleep.

She started getting better when the teething calmed down (she lived on Calpol/prices for months, didn't seem to help with the early waking), and when she started running around more in the day rather than being in the buggy. I also started giving her a biscuit just before bed, with her milk, to fill her up - seemed to give us another half hour in the morning, it all counts! The day when both my 2 started staying in bed till 7 - only since September - was a very good day! It will happen...

Snooze on me on the chair... Sorry, autocorrect!

When DD started waking early - anything before 6am - (I can't remember how old she was - a bit younger than your DD I think) I used to switch on the tunes on her baby monitor remotely from the control in our bedroom. This would settle her back down - I felt she was having a response but there was no physical presence in her bedroom.

Once she was a bit older we put a nightlight on a timer as a visual switch for her (so a bit like the clocks). If the nightlight is still on, then it is too early to get up (even in the summer when it is daylight outside).

We usually get to around 8am these days - occasionally longer (DD is 7).

Thanks for the link Liza, and for the sympathy lukewarm and everyone else. Much appreciated.

I wish she would snooze on me, she's very uncuddly unless she's ill, or it's on her terms, so we seem to have the choice of getting up or screaming. (Which I feel like doing too.)

Lots of people are suggesting a snack before bed. DD usually has a snack at about 3, then her dinner at 7, followed by a quick dip, then bottle, teeth and bed. Do most of you feed your kids their main meal earlier? [ready to try anything emoticon].

Have any of you left food in the cot? Not convinced she's waking early, but I'd leave six fruitshoots and a kebab in there if it was going to help.

Hello!
I've used v low dose melatonin (short term - a few days) to help DS get over jet lag.....If you do a google search for use in children you can read all the research and decide for yourself if it's an option. I haven't used it for early waking though (and I have one who gets up between 5am and 6am everyday) but I do appreciate how exhausting it can be.

sorry.

It's just that now mine are older, I can see that the were times that I put huge amounts of physical and emotional energy and time and me into trying to solve an issue that would resolve itself in time and if I had just gone with it, the issue would have been the only thing draining my resources, not the issue AND my attempts to solve it. So I think that often looking for coping strategies is better than looking for solutions. Time fixes most things- they move on to the next issue- whatever gets us through is the best thing to do. So with my early riser, I would take her into bed with me. If that didn't work, I would take her downstairs, settle her on a beanbag with a DVD and doze on the sofa under a rug. 9 times out of 10 she'd go back to sleep, and if she didn't, the worst that happens was that she had more screen time than I liked. Crucially, I was unstressed qnd rested. Which is the main goal.

we do tea at 5ish, then milk and snacks after the bath whilst we read. My whole day is geared round tiring them out and getting as many calories in as possible (they are both skinny little things)

Re bribery and gloclocks, it definitely works better now we've got a clock, but we didn't have one at first and just said he had to stay in bed til it was morning, which also worked (except he'd keep asking if it was morning!).

Haven't tried food in the cot (although have had delirious midnight fantasies of some kind of hamster feeder), as I'm too paranoid about choking, but they both have non-spill cups of water in bed, which DS2 hasn't really got the hang of yet, but DS1 loves

Yes seeker, I'm with you on that, and really do try to just accept other stuff. Weirdly, I accept night wakings as par for the course when they happen. I think though as time has gone on I've started to worry that this isn't a short phase of a few weeks, and we really will be going on like this until she starts school.

When we bring her downstairs there's no question of dozing, she will not play on her own, or even really watch TV for more than a few minutes without needing some sort of interaction. God knows I've tried muttering "mummy's sleeping, it's really fucking early" with my head under a blanket. And she's never once gone back to sleep once she's downstairs, even if I keep her bag on and the lights really dim.

I'd definitely try the groclock. You could consider a bed? Both of mine were in beds at that age and they both slept loads better once they were in a bed. It also meant that in the mornings they were able to get up and entertain themselves for a little while.

About not just going to bed earlier - when we had this problem we were generally getting up at 4am with DD which in the depths of winter just wasn't OK whenever we'd gone to bed. Also, DH wasn't getting home until 7pm so by the time we'd eaten and tidied up we'd have gone straight to bed to be up at 4 and not having any time to ourselves would have driven us even more insane I think. I can't actually get to sleep before about 10pm anyway, no matter how tired I am. I used to dream of her getting up at 4am and coming into our bed or quietly watching TV downstairs while I dozed but she was very full-on and it never worked. I guess they're all different so what works for one person won't work for another. Groclock and bed was the charm for us but will probably be totally useless for someone else.

This is soooo not what you want to hear but IME some children are just early risers and there's fuck all you can do about it.

For a good couple of years 5am was a lie in in our house. We tried everything short of drugging them (blackout blinds, leaving the heating on all night, early to bed, late to bed, short nap, long nap, no nap, etc etc etc) and none of it worked. DD1 is almost 4 now and always makes it until at least 6...6.30 is quite common and every now and then we get a 7. DD2 is about to turn 2 and not doing quite so well at 5.15ish this morning.

Honest advice...stop stressing, go to bed early and go with the flow. This too shall pass and all that

When she wakes in the morning, is she happy or does she wake up crying? DS2 wakes crying when he's overtired, and that is easier to fix, than if you have a naturally very early riser.

It also sounds like a very long day if she is up at 5am, 1.25h nap and then to bed after what 7.30pm? When is the nap generally? Does she wake in the night at all?

Babywhisperer is brilliant at trying to figure it out and help you get past the sleep issues, but ime most can be solved - but sometimes the fine tuning is actually quite complex!

It isn't something I say very often but I agree with Seeker on this one.

Both ds's were early risers. Ds2 still is and he is nearly 9. Ds1 now likes his sleep a bit more but at 11 is coming into a different stage of life I guess. Thankfully they have been at an age for a while where they can get up, make themselves breakfast and watch kids tv. We are never late for school - thankfully both their schools have a relatively early start (8am/8:10am), otherwise they would be bored by 8:45!

Your best bet may be in trying to train her to occupy herself in the morning without waking you. I find mine sleep better with copious amount of exercise, especially swimming. I suspect 10 hours swimming a week is what finally got rid of the 5am starts for ds1.

And obviously it is more years away than you want to think about, but the boys are now capable of bringing us tea in the morning!

i think this may only be the second time i've ever agreed with seeker and honestly OP you have my sympathies, but i think some kids just are early risers and that's that. ds1 woke at 5am until he was about 6, though from 4 yo i just left him to it. ds2 (4) and dd (2) are both up around 5am every day. it's grim, i agree, but they tend to get in bed with me and watch charlie & lola on the ipad so at least i can doze.

We live in a victorian terrace too and I was also worried about the neighbours but a) everyone needs to accept some noise in terraces and b) the aim is that eventually baby will be able to put themselves back to sleep (without the intervening hour of noise and disruption) so in the longer term it would be quieter for your neighbours. If you get on well with them, may be worth having a word - always tends to sweeten things if you are up front (and you take them some earplugs!)

It is working for us so far and we have seen some improvement (three steps forward and one back). But it really does need to be a strategy that you feel you can sign up to wholeheartedly so perhaps this is not it for you.

i dont know if this will help but ive used it worked for me. if shes gettng up at different times everyday it could be a growth spurt so hunger is the issue, up the feeds throughout the day.

if its always the same time then its out of habit, so an hour before wake time slightly nudge her just to cause a moan not to fully awaken her. it can take a week or two sometimes, other times it works quicker.

my older daughter is 4 shes been drivng me around the bend getting up 5 times sometimes. i had just forgotten my skills, when it dawned on me aa week later maybe she was hungry duh lol. so i gave her bigger meals through the day, which is difficult since shes a poor eater, but it resolved the problem.

good luck.

if its just an early wake that is the problem unfortunately i dont think theres much you can do tha you havent already tried, sme kids naturall rise early. my 4 and 5 yr old have always woken up between 5-6am. my 15 month old is the same. on,y solutionm maybe take it in turns with ur partner to do the morning feed, that way its fair?

actually good point, DS's sleep gets seriously interrupted when ever he's having a development stage.

At the moment it's teeth getting loose and coming out....

Nothing to be done about it except neck ginseng and vitamins I'm afraid.

Sympathies! We have an early waker here too. The only thing we managed to do to get him to go past 6am on most mornings is change the timings of EVERYTHING. We used the clocks going forward, and then instead of e.g. lunch at 11.30, we did 12.30, snack at 2.30 became 3.30, bed moved from 6.30 to 7.30. ie the clocks changed, but we didn't, if that makes sense. It didn't shift the morning wake by an whole hour, but it did shift it enough to get us past that magic (in our eyes) 6am marker, which I will just about accept as being morning.
Hope you get some sleep soon

jazzandh - good point about whether she's waking up grizzly or happy... should definitely help point to whether they are being woken up for some reason, or whether they are just finished sleeping.

Dd2 was def a grizzly sort, so was easier to see she needed more sleep, just couldn't get it without help for some reason (probably her sodding teeth, everything was her sodding teeth... so the slightest bit of light sleep, hunger etc and she'd be up. That's why a biscuit helped, and Calpol occasionally helped, and going back to sleep on me helped etc).

If it was just finished sleeping time, then that's when strategies like groclock/other visual 'zits still nighttime' cues might help. But tbh, with dd1, the groclock didn't help until nearer age 4, and only then because my mum was staying in the lounge for a few weeks, so she knew it would be big trouble if she woke her up before 7.

Re her 'routine' - sounds like a late tea and bed, especially if she's been up since 5? We would always have lunch 12.30/1, sleep 1-2hrs, snack 3, tea 5/5.30, then bath and bed with milk and biscuit all done by 7. Even if up at 5, theyd still have to wait till 7am for brekkie (but milk earlier if course). If you bring forward tea you might be ble to get another snack in before bed!

zits? what am I french now?! Blooming iPhone

It's!

Can I join too please? I'm 3.5yrs in and way beyond shattered. DD2 is 18 months. DD1 is regularly waking anytime between 5 and 6am and if I'm lucky she has slept in her own bed all night until then. Last night she appeared by our bed at 2.30am and crawled in. She went back to sleep quickly and quite frankly it's too cold and I'm too tired to be bothered about her being in our bed with us.

DD2 had a better night and managed to sleep in her cot til 4am but then woke screaming as she is full of cough and cold. I got in the spare bed with her in her room and after a bit of wriggling she went to sleep again.

5.45 and DD1 appears wanting to get up so that's all 3 of us awake. I'm getting really fed up!

I'm buying a groclock more in hope than expectation. I'm foolishly hanging on to the idea that when DD2 us old enough for them to have bunk beds in the summer they can entertain themselves if they wake up and let me sleep.

In the meantime I'm resigned to being woken at least by each if them in the night and seeing the start if cbeebies most mornings. It makes for a long day though

misshonker no judgey pants from me just my utter sympathy. Ds is 2.2 and we are starting the slow climb out of the black hole. But I have been where you are, so wis I could give you some amazing advice but unfortunately I can only offer my support as I did not find a way to change it despite trying many many things, sort from repeating the mantra "this too shall pass". 4:30am is probably the worst hour in the day.

Just read through a bit more. I tried wake to sleep. You got to have balls of steel for days. I did it for four days, it was horrendous as he just woke up at those times and screamed! I can honestly say I don't know what has changed for him, just now he wakes at 5:30 and comes in with us and mostly goes back to sleep til about 6:45, sometimes gone 7! Sometimes he wakes at 5:30 for the day and has three times in last two weeks stayed in his own cot til 7am straight through. He goes to bed about 8 pm. Naps about 1 hour. Dh did have the resolve one morning to sleep on the air mattress downstairs and when he woke at 5am, held him while he screamed for 20 mins, and he eventually went back to sleep, then from then on we did this a few times and nowhe goes straight back to sleep when he comes in with us. Dug doing know why it worked now, after Christmas when it never has before. Maybe he is just ready now?

When ds was 18 months, I never ever thought it would end.

I'm sorry but I agree that some kids just wake up early. Ds is 5 and dd is 16m and they've both been up since 5am. If its any consolation you do get used to it eventually.

when mistletoe? dd has been waking at 4 or 5am for 8 years now! I'm shattered.