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Original poster

Urgent - help me not to gve in!

42 replies

melrose · 08/01/2012 21:38

My dd is 6 months next week and sleeping has got worse and worse over past 2 months. She was sleeping through until 16 weeks but started waking in the night again, last night it was every 1-2 hours and will only go back if I feed her to sleep. Am not sure how we got to this stage (she is my third!) but been talking for the past few weeks about addressing it (Promised DH I would after Xmas)

Went down tonight at 7 as usual, feeding until asleep, woke at 8 and I fed her again. Woke at 8.40 and decided not to feed her (she usually goes to 10ish although it has been getting earlier all week) went in and cuddled her whilst she cried and have been alternating with DH since. He has just taken over and is till crying. I am cuddling and shushing but she is desperate for my boob. I know I can't give in now so need some moral support and top tips on how to get her to settle please!!

Also if I get her down now, what do I do the next tiem she wakes? Same again or feed her??

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rubyslippers · 08/01/2012 21:40

Feed her

It's only 20 mins until 10 pm

Abirdinthehand · 08/01/2012 21:41

feed her. 6 moths? Probably growth spurt.

rubyslippers · 08/01/2012 21:41

Fwiw, if she cries and gets tired she won't feed well anyway

Feed her now, and then a nice big feed when she next wakes up

Babies of 6 months don't tend to sleep through

At 5.5 months my baby was feeding every 3 hours

I night weaned very slowly and gradually but kept a 9.30/10 pm feed until she was 11 months old

Teaandcakeplease · 08/01/2012 21:41

She maybe teething or coming down with something and using you for comfort (naturally). This too shall pass. I found once mine were weaned they began to sleep better. But I suspect she is either teething or getting a sore throat if it's escalating these last 2 days.

HavePatience · 08/01/2012 21:43

She's only 6 months Sad I'm not one who is very anti controlled crying ...etc. but I think you should just feed her. Does she have a good feed or is she just soothing at breast?

SilentBoob · 08/01/2012 21:44

Awww bless her, 6 months old and desperate for Mummy milk? Feed her!

Teaandcakeplease · 08/01/2012 21:48

I always rubbed gums with bonjela by this age before a fed, then the feed would make them dopey and they'd then go back to sleep for 3 hours until the teething gel wore off. But my 2 already had several teeth by 6 months and were teething like mad and calpol was also used as a last resort Blush

I would shush pat her if I was sure it wasn't hunger, nappy or pain/ sick. But I honestly think you should just feed her in this situation.

Shame all children aren't the same? Wink As you said this is your third dc? My second child was so different.

Hope you're ok

Original poster
melrose · 08/01/2012 21:50

She fed at 6, 7 and 8 having also had mashed banana at 5, so can't be hungry! She is just using me to sooth. The waking up started at 16 weeks and she is going for shorter and shorter times between feeds so feel I need to not feed her every time she wakes and get her out of the habit of falling asleep on me. Having re-readthat it makes me sound cruel, but I am crying as I type it! DH managed to put her in the cot and she was quiet for 10 mins, just starting to fuss again now though. I think if I feed er now all I ave taught her is if se cries for long enough she will get milk!!!

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er1507 · 08/01/2012 21:50

U know yourself if her cry is for hunger or pain, u will know if shes using u for comfort with how she sucks, she may just be using u for comfort, if u always feed her to sleep then that's what she wants. Mine done exactly the same to me whe she was younger (my dd is also 6mo) she would wake feed for 20min I'd unlatch her and she would wake up after 20min, this went on for 2days and I amlmost had a break down and was ready 2 give up breast feeding but I persevered and made her have a dummy, as soon as she started sucking she was out like a light and slept for 5hrs! I was actually scared 2put her down!

Original poster
melrose · 08/01/2012 21:51

She has 2 bottom teeth, may go and try bonjela and more cuddling

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Original poster
melrose · 08/01/2012 21:52

She has never had a dummy but maybe I should try that too

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Original poster
melrose · 08/01/2012 21:56

Dh gone back into her but I will go and take over in a bit, any more advice??? I feel awfula nd my boobs hurt but I need some sleep!! Se is an angel the rest of the time!!

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er1507 · 08/01/2012 21:56

Def try with a dummy, she may refuse it at first but I literally held dd with the dummy in her mouth against my chest and bounced her until she took it, was only a matter of minuets. I found the avent ones worked for her, the tommee tippee ones she hated!

Teaandcakeplease · 08/01/2012 21:57

I read a good book by Marc Weissbluth called healthy sleep habits, happy child. It's a good book but I didn't do CC I did PUPD but his advice is very good. But tonight is not the night to crack bad habits, if co sleeping isn't for you. Have your parents to stay for a few days when you decide to crack this. If in fact it's not simply due to a possible cold or teeth tonight.

Tonight I would do whatever it takes to survive and decide tomorrow what to do imo x

er1507 · 08/01/2012 21:59

Will she take a bottle? If yes see if dh can see to her for a little bit just to give u a break? Tonight u can either tough it out or soothe her and start again 2mo with a fresh head.

Original poster
melrose · 08/01/2012 22:03

Thank you teaandcakeplease, I think I know you are right but I have been trying to find the right time to crack this!! It is so anoying as she used to go down wide awake and slept 7am-4am from 10 weeks till 16ish. Somewhere in her waking up at night again I managed to get into the habit feeding her to sleep so I now have 2 habits to crack. DH is in with her at the moment and all has gone quiet.

I think I will feed her next time she wakes up, but try not to let her fall asleep on me. Perhaps I need to crack that first.

uhoh crying ain, better go andsee what is happening!!

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Original poster
melrose · 08/01/2012 22:07

She has taken a bottle in the past but bot for a while and have no formula so not an option right now. I am actually not too tired tonight so feel fairly positive about trying to crack it. Dh shooed me away and is shusing her, she is crying but not screaming. Horrible though and i know taht if I put a boob in her mouth she'd be asleep in minutes. Would be giving her mixed messages though and thats eems unfair

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HavePatience · 08/01/2012 22:09

I used to keep ds awake, tap soles of feet gently, talk to him, unlatch and re latch...etc so he'd be awake after his feed when I decided to break the feed to sleep habit (9 months). It didn't work straight away but after a couple of weeks.

Original poster
melrose · 08/01/2012 22:12

Hi HavePatience what did you do when he finished feeding? Just put him in the cot? Did he cry? If so how did you settle him? Sorry for all the questions!!
If I put DD down awake she ust looks for my boob again as soon as I put her down. I know she cannot still be hungry and often brings milk back up because she has over fed trying to get herself to sleep.

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RandomMess · 08/01/2012 22:20

Surely the key is stop feeding her to sleep during the day and help her find a different sleep prop?

Teaandcakeplease · 08/01/2012 22:21

I would feed her now as her feed was due at 10pm to break the cycle, as she's been awake crying on and off now since 8.40? Unless I'm misreading as I'm tired. So she'll be full of cortisol now and a good feed and some calm may help. But you can give her back to dh to settle after the feed?

Is the plan to try and drop all feeds after 10pm or just to stop her waking as soon as she comes into a light part of her sleep cycle for mum? A dummy may be the answer as er1507 said, but of course it's then another things they need weaning off in due course Wink My DD had a dummy when younger, it was bliss. DS wouldn't take one Envy

Teaandcakeplease · 08/01/2012 22:22

Random's point is a good one. That would probably be the better option actually.

HavePatience · 08/01/2012 22:27

Yes I started it with naps thinking back now. He would go for breast again as soon as I tried to put him down and I would give it but again, keep him awake. It took aaaagggeeessss but he eventually exhausted himself and want to sleep (with a bit of patting). I also gave a dummy at same time and he eventually took that. We removed dummy at 12 months with only one day of fuss, earlier removal of dummy is key!

HavePatience · 08/01/2012 22:29

Sorry meant to add - he eventually realised that I'd keep him awake so he just did the feed then took dummy for sleep.

Original poster
melrose · 08/01/2012 22:32

Have never woken any of mine to feed at 10pm, so up until recently she would aften sleep from 7pm till gone 12 (and in the past till5am!) have just always fed her whenever she wakes. IS bathed at 6.30 and put to bed at 7ish and always up by 7am, so in a fairly good routine. If she settles now (DH in with her and been very quiet bar the odd murmur so daren't go and check) I think I will feed her when she next wakes, would that make sense?

Doesnt feed to sleep in the day! Naps in the pram at 9am for 45 mins and 1ish for an hour or 2. Goes into pram awake when she starts to get cranky. Usually walked (on school run in the morning) but is often asleep before in a few minutes, in fact today I went to take her for a walk at lunchtiem and she was asleep before I put my coat on. Unfortutaely can't really put her in snowsuit in her pram and night!

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