Urgent - help me not to gve in!

[melrose]

My dd is 6 months next week and sleeping has got worse and worse over past 2 months. She was sleeping through until 16 weeks but started waking in the night again, last night it was every 1-2 hours and will only go back if I feed her to sleep. Am not sure how we got to this stage (she is my third!) but been talking for the past few weeks about addressing it (Promised DH I would after Xmas)

Went down tonight at 7 as usual, feeding until asleep, woke at 8 and I fed her again. Woke at 8.40 and decided not to feed her (she usually goes to 10ish although it has been getting earlier all week) went in and cuddled her whilst she cried and have been alternating with DH since. He has just taken over and is till crying. I am cuddling and shushing but she is desperate for my boob. I know I can't give in now so need some moral support and top tips on how to get her to settle please!!

Also if I get her down now, what do I do the next tiem she wakes? Same again or feed her??

Can you try and give her some day time naps in the cot?

I dreamfed them at 10 or 11ish whenever I was on my way to bed with both of mine. It would keep them going until 2 or 3am so I got a few hours kip in before being woken. But I'd stick with what she's used to if it works

Thanks Randommess, have thought I should try that, although have always let all of them sleep in the pram in the day (often outside, although I do bring them in if it rains!!). Morning nap has to be in the pram because of school and often out and about in the afternoon so have lways found it easier, but perhaps getting her to fall asleep in the cot in the day is a good start.

All very quiet upstairs, think DH may have fallen asleep in her room too but daren't go and check. THink I sould go and get some sleep wilst I can. Thanks for the advice, will update in teh morning.

i'm in exactly the same boat but my dd3 is 8 months. at around christmas she was waking up every 30 mins! we were zombies and not coping. my dh has been doing the night shift for the last week as he's been on hols, but tonight i'll be getting up to see to her so we'll see. he's been giving her water and if she's really desperate, a rice cake. that doesn't help you because your baby has just started weaning i assume...

all i can say is that if you can get her back to sleep without a feed just once a night you're doing bloody well. can your dh get involved? the prob is that if it's you she wants milk. your dh doesn't have milk so she won't be expecting anything from him.

i would suggest spinning her out between feeds. try the dummy. try a bit of water.

i strongly suspect that feeding through the night makes them less likely to sleep. i'm sure it interrupts sleep patterns.

my dd3 has gotten worse since 6 months, sorry to say, but i didn't want to do anything until i felt confident that she could actually make it through the night.

we don't do cc. we just give her a cuddle, some water and put her down. most of the time it's ok. otherwise i show her out the window, walk around the house. one night i was up for 3 hours trying to get her back to sleep. it's so so hard. i honestly would probably put her in a snow suit and go for a walk if i thought i could get her back to bed without waking her.

good luck to you tonight. stay strong and do your best. just try to get as late as you can tonight before you give in and set yourself a new goal every night.

sorry about the brain dump. i'm exhausted!! off to bed.

You state in your op that you feed her to sleep in the evenings at 7ish - that would be the first thing to stop then.

It's tough I know, hope it goes well.

Think our babies must be similar ages, I thought we'd cracked this whole sleeping thing when DS slept through from 8 until about 7 a few times at around 4 months, then shortly after begun a middle of the night wake up and after a cold in the beginning of December we've been a bit out of sync feeding three or four times a night, I asked a BF counsellor about it, she said could be variety of things including thirst because heating is on, or DS poorly (currently has another cold including cough) teethingsir simply that he isn't getting enough during the day, as he finds feeding when out tricky as so much else going on he'd rather be looking at and doing?
I tried ignoring him at night, but he just gets increasingly agitated and then takes ages go calm before I feed him, I think similar to what others have said, they are only little and I usually find just as you think you can't cope any longer, it all changes.
I'm also reminding myself that when DS starts sleeping through the night I'll miss those lovely sleepy cuddles we have after a feed.
Hope you manage enough sleep to feel ok tomorrow.

Owner of another 8mth poor sleeper here! But tbh i am not agreeing much with posts on here, I know it all boils down to personal choice, but why on earth would you, for example, spend 3hrs trying to get a baby to sleep by walking around etc when boob in mouth would take 3 mins?!!

I have had no luck with a dummy and would like to try again, tried mam with no luck, what would people recommend? Dd1 never took one either and I spent a fortune!

How did it go?

because caz, i was feeding her every 30 mins! the prize for getting her to sleep without a feed is a full nights sleep.

fuck, wish i hadn't posted now. sleep deprivation is really not fun.

Sorry warthog was not having a go or anything! Totally your choice, I am just the world's laziest person and find doing stuff like that really hard! Dd1 was a terrible sleeper and is even now at 4 still not reliably going through the night so I am not a great advert for doing nothing! But fwiw we did similar "training" with her at 9mths, worked for a little while then I went back to work, she started waking again and it just had to be back to the path of least resistance. Dd2 is almost 8mths, some nights are hideous some are not, just going with the flow for now while she is still little.

i agree caz, i'm generally a go with the flow person too. i hate cc so it would have to be torture to go down that route.

but i've got a 5 yo and a 3yo too so opportunities for daytime naps are zero. it has got to the stage where i really can't cope anymore and she seems to be getting worse. i don't think she's waking because she's hungry - how can she be every 30 mins - 2 hours? and she can go to sleep without me feeding her. she's quite a chubby little thing and eats well during the day. definitely not under weight.

so i have not fed her in the night for the last 9 nights and i was expecting her to just magically start sleeping through!

last night i had to settle her at 11, 12, 3, 5, 6 and up for the day at 6.45. i'm exhausted and i just hope that this settles down really quickly!

anyway - this isn't helping melrose, so i'll shut up now. melrose, i hope you had a better night last night.

update please, let us know how it's going.

OK so Dh had her lying in the cot with him sitting in the chair and shushing every so often, she cried on and off, but not screaming and finally fell asleep on her own at 10.45 (been awake 2 hours ish) She woke at 2.30, fed her for 15 mins and went down asleep (but was not really very awake to start with so decided not tyyo wake her up) Then woke at 5.55am at wich point I decided to go with it being morning so fed her with the loights on and then lay her on our bed to play (not really early for us, as Ds 1+2 ger
t up at 6.30) So all in all a good result.

Now have to stick at it tonight as seems silly to turn back so tips still welcome! Think I will try to get her to settle herself after feeding at bedtime tonight. DH got v early start in the mormning though so not able yto help tonight.

Thanks for support yesterday. typing onn here was a great distraction !!

I would also take your poor sleepers for cranial osteopathy - for some babies it does make a huge difference, any decent practioner will tell you if they found something that could have been making them uncomfortable whilst the lay down.

do you have first-hand experience of CO, randommess?

yes, made me irritable clingy baby much happier and with all 3 it sorted out them not opening their mouths wide enough for pain free breastfeeding.

Friend whose son cried/whinged during his sleep changed into a different baby altogether.

Doesn't work for everyone but if does it is so worth it!!!

ok thanks. i'm tempted to just try it but my dh is a huge skeptic and doesn't want me to. ho hum.

Well I was sceptical - very happy to be proved wrong!