It feels like everyone else's baby sleeps...

[JollySergeantJackrum]

Aargh! DS is 6 months next week. There have been 2 occasions so far that he has slept for more than 7 hours in a row. There have been less than 10 occasions when he has slept for more than 5 hours and these have been mainly after vaccinations.

Does anyone else have a 6 month old that doesn't sleep a long spell at night?

He is still in the room with me in his cot (DP is in the spare room in order to get some sleep). DS is EBF but we have been BLW for a few weeks and he now gets two 'meals' a day, but it's BLW so kind of hard to tell how much he's getting. He doesn't take a bottle.

Last night we put him to bed and he slept for 3 hours 20 minutes. He then woke and I fed him. I put him down in bed awake and he fell asleep. He slept for 3 hours and 20 minutes. Again, I fed him and put him down awake. He slept for 3 hours and 20 minutes. He then woke and I fed him.... Surely hunger can't be this regular?

His last feed of the 'day' starts at 7pm, he goes to sleep at about 7:30-7:45 then his first feed of the night is usually anytime between 10:30pm and midnight, but he once went until 12:30am. If his feed is around 11, he usually wakes between 3am and 4am for another feed. He goes back down very easily after night feeds and sometimes takes lots of milk, but sometimes (especially in recent weeks) is a bit less interested than during the day.

When he wakes at night I usually ignore him to see what happens. He has a toy rabbit and if he's dropped this on the floor I give it back. He often goes back to sleep and I only feed him if either he cries and won't re-settle or if it's been more than 4 hours since his last feed.

I cannot continue to function only getting sleep in 3 hour slots. All the other local baby mums seem to have babies who sleep 11 hours at night and have issues with naps instead. I think I'd swap the naps for good night sleep. Most days he has 3 naps of 30 minutes to 1.5 hours. But how much naps he has does not seem to correspond to how much night sleep he has. Or there's no pattern I can see.

DD 6.5 mo sleeps in 3 or 4 hour blocks on a good night. Has a new habit of having parties in the middle of the night, takes 1.5-2 hours to get her back down again. I also have friends that I dread speaking to, they do seem to think I'm doing something wrong but I swear we have all done the same things. One even said to me the other day try putting her in her own room, erm she has been since 2 months. It makes f all difference whether she falls asleep on her own, is patted and shushed, or fed or cuddled to sleep. The other night I patted and shushed for 40 mins, felt very happy with myself, then she woke up 20 mins later. Last night she fell asleep on her own, I put her in the cot chatting and playing, she took 15 mins to fall asleep on her own, and she woke up after 3 hours. Just trying to say don't beat yourself up about it, there's plenty of us out there and you are doing a good job! Maybe best not to talk about baby sleep with certain friends, just dodge the topic : )

Ooo can I join in with the lurve a little bit please? My BF 12 week old has been feeding every 1.5/2hrs around the clock since he was born. Has had 2 (non-consecutive) nights where he has woken for just 2 feeds, which was bliss. Just wish I knew what I did differently on those days...

Unmumsnetty hugs for all of you going through the same and worse!

My five and almost three year old rarely let me sleep through the night.

My nearly 8 month old is the same. Her sisters were managing a longer stretch at this age but DD3? asleep by 7.30, awake at 8, awake again at 10 ang 12. After that it's anybody's guess. i've been awake since 2.30am today. Add into that the 3 yr old who is waking every night at the moment and the 4 yr old occasionally joining in

I just assume they're fibbing and fib along with them! Isnt that what motherhood is about?!

Anyway along with my 3 month old who doesnt sleep through...I seem to have developed insomnia!! Am somehow still getting by ok during the day, must still have adrenalin from hormones or something. After the first 30 mins of the day when I feel like death, I perk up and feel fine on 3-5 hours of broken sleep.

And the ''sleep while the baby sleep'' advice has never worked for me ....and I used to like having afternoon naps on weekends! Now there is no chance of me drifting off during the day

Most of the mums of babies and young toddlers I know in RL report that their LOs wake in the night once, twice or loads. I now think it's actually more unusual to have a "good" sleeper in the first two or three years than it is to have a more wakeful child. I sometimes wonder if it's more about us parents adjusting our expectations, evolving coping strategies and accepting that it's a phase that WILL pass. Eventually.

And CC isn't always the magic bullet. My sister, a lovely mum of 4 DC, used the technique on all four of hers (once they were well into their second year) and although it worked on her three DDs, it didn't have any effect on her DS and he didn't start sleeping through until her was 4.

Having a "good" sleeper depends more on whether mum and dad are both good sleepers IMO than on parenting techniques. In other words, it's luck of the draw.

I agree IC I seem to have expectation spurts
Unfortunately these coincide with my DS growth spurts
And then I'll have a dejected leap

I've heard the theory regarding the parents sleep is linked,do you know whether that refers to childhood sleep or current sleep (pre-children obviously,as none of us are sleeping well at the mo)

DS slept through the night at 2.4, on his own, no prompting. I have no idea when he started doing stretches longer than 3 hours though, sorry! I have a feeling that at about 15 months he would only wake at 11ish and then maybe once in the night (but not always even that once).

It gets better. Also, you get better at dealing with it so that the night wakings don't disturb you so much.

Last night I had a horrendous night with DD (5mo) waking every 45 mins from 11pm until 530am when I brought her into bed and she slept like a log until 830. i gave her a quick feed then back down again until 11am which at least gave me a chance to get some kip. This afternoon she's been very sleepy and wanting lots of comfort/feeds, so I hoping that I've tanked her up sufficiently!

Also trying a baby sleeping bag for the first time tonight. Fingers crossed on one hand, the other is holding a glass of wine! Good luck with tonight OP.

Joining you, with 4mth old dd2 who up until about a month ago was doing 2,3 even 4 hour stretches- now she appears to favour a very strict 2 hourly routine at night, zzzzzzz. Then drifts off into a deep sleep around 6am, just as her big sister gets up for the day. Aaaargh.
Dd1 didn't sleep through until she was nearly 3, so I have very low expectations! But less than two hours at a stretch is a real killer!

Sleeping through??? Hahahahaha!

I join you too. DS is 14mo and nowhere near sleeping through. He rarely sleeps through an evening, let alone a night! He still wakes anything between 2-10 times a night to feed/generally piss about.

I'm very impressed with some people have children happy to slumber away all night through. But I was nowhere near that at 6mo and I'm not there yet (hopefully you will be luckier, OP).

What I really love is when people at work say: "Oh is he sleeping well now then?" if I am being cheery. And I say "no, I was up for times" and they say (yes, really) "oh, but my kids slept through from 6 weeks - do you think something is wrong with him?"

Something wrong with him? Yes - he is a full-of-beans kid who can't be bothered to sleep. I'm the same even now. This is obviously just genetic payback.

Caz- I feel your pain. When it drops below 2 hours for most of the gaps it's a killer isn't it.

Bertie - you are so right! I am finding it much less hard this time round because you get better at dealing with it. In particular, I've learned not to particularly focus on the number of wakings, or how long you were up, and to try and operate for the 'feed and back down' wakings in a hazy half doze myself (i.e. awake enough to be alert, but dozy enough not to wake fully). Counting and expectations are your enemy - they make you more tired I think!

I am also pissing myself laughing at the thought of ever getting a decent night's sleep again.

Ds1 slept like a textbook baby and slept all night, most nights, from 6mths. I thought I was a fucking baby master! Then I got ds2. He's 17mths and wakes every 2 hrs, even when co-sleeping.

Tbh, i get enough sleep as we sleep in the same bed and I give him a nurse (in my sleep usually). I am tired, but I know it'll pass and that sleep training isn't my style. And I don't think it'd work for him anyway.

I console myself with the knowledge that little kids aren't biologically designed to sleep deeply all night but Christ would it kill him to go 7 hrs once !

OP I'm with you all the way on this one. DS is 4.5months and has never slept longer than 4 hours, and then he's only done that a handful of times for no reason that I can fathom. Also refluxy and takes ages to settle so not unusual for it to take 1.5hrs from waking to feed and resettle. Last night I got him down by 7.30, and he was up 10.30-11.30, 2.00-3.30 then awake for the day at 5.30. But I call that a good night considering I managed to get him back into his crib each time! (Have had to spend several weeks before sleeping in a chair with him from 2-6am which is a rum do let me tell you.)

I used to feel like i was in some never-ending nightmare until I decided that a) it was the way it was, b) that'll he'll sleep through in his own time, and c) that shrugging my shoulders at it was the best option. Weirdly, accepting it has made it bearable, thought it also helps that he's pretty damn cute

ooh, and I am feling the pain of those nights where they wake every bloody 45 mins. They make 2 hrs seem like a dream

OP - you are doing better than we were at 6 months. DS had literally NEVER slept more than 4 hours in a row until he was 7 months old. Then all of a sudden he went from waking up 3 or 4 or 5 or 6 times a night to waking just once... and then he slept through.

And when it was bad every single mum I met had an angelic baby who slept through from about 8 weeks onwards. I was literally the only person I knew in real life whose baby did not sleep. I felt like he was never going to sleep a full night, and I was going to get ill in the meantime through lack of sleep.

I did all the night wakings because DS breastfeeds and when he woke he would not settle without a feed.

We never sleep trained him or did any crying. He just did it in his own sweet time. I felt like I was dying at the time though!! Now he's ten months old and sleeps through once or twice a week. The rest of the time he wakes up once and I am fine with that.

At least theres so many of us in the same boat!

I agree IC I seem to have expectation spurts
Unfortunately these coincide with my DS growth spurts
And then I'll have a dejected leap
BenRoo

Good question about the genetically-good-sleeper link. I think it's related to having been a good childhood sleeper (and such people often continue to be good sleepers thereafter). I wasn't a great sleeper as a nipper and have continued to be a rather anxious and fussy sleeper ever since rather prone to insomnia. DH also has his wakeful phases. Not surprising we've spawned a less-than brilliant sleeper, really. Although to be fair to DD, at the age of 20 mo she's not bad now.

I was a shit sleeper. DH is the third child and his mother doesn't remember . Unsurprisingly, our children are not textbook sleepers.

I am a f-ing BRILLIANT sleeper!!! given the chance could easily sleep 12hrs plus, have always been able to drop off anywhere, any time. Left undisturbed as a teenager I sometimes got woken up by my younger sister coming home from school! So this must be all DH's fault...!

I am co-sleeping too, it is the only bearable way. My one blessing is that dd2 is far easier to settle than dd1 ever was. So it is literally just wake-feed-sleep, I don't fully wake up most of the time.

an f-ing brilliant sleeper

It's always good to know who to blame Caz . But how did you sleep as a baby. I've heard that's the vital bit.

I didn't sleep through until bloody 3, although in my defence they potty trained at night early in my day, and from 2 onwards my mother says it was generally for a wee - why she didn't stick a nappy on me I have no idea.

So much nicer than that other AIBU sleep thread :)
Ds is 12 months and since he started teething and had a sickness bug at end of August he is pretty much only going for a max of 4 hours but more like 2/3 hours after about 3am.
We are co sleeping because I'm not willing to risk waking dd by trying cc as she has only just started school.
I am knackered and hoping we can try and get him back to his own room during half term but it is nice to hear others in the same boat.

I love you all too, now I feel more normal . I just started a thread asking how to get DD (7mth) to sleep better, now I feel like a prize dick, cos clearly she JUST WON'T because she is a baby and that's not what they do.