I left him to cry last night!

[Lilliput]

My 10 month old ds has never been a good sleeper and obviously I am shattered. Last night after trying to settle him twice in the small hours I finally gave up and left him to cry. After an excrutiating 15 minutes he gave up and went silent until morning. But what now, same tactic tonight? He has a dummy at night ( and sometimes during the day) and I feel that this has actually created the light sleeping.

well done. same tactic tonight. I'm impressed that he stopped so quickly. I feel if you are going to do controlled crying you have to be commited to it and not give up otherwise if you do cave you just feel incredibly guilty about all the crying they went through for nothing!
Good luck.

Agree with cupcakes - now you've started, it is best to carry on!

I very much doubt that the dummy has somehow created the light sleep - it is normal to have periods of light sleep, alternating with periods of deeper sleep - we all do it. What all babies eventually need to learn is how to settle themselves back to sleep when they have a temporary arousal from a light sleep.

The Richard Ferber book does explain very well how the sleep cycle works.

Good luck with it!

I really need the full support of my husband, he works incredibly long hours as a chef and often doesn't come to bed until 2am. I think this is partly how the problem has escalated, I would leap out of bed to settle ds because I was so aware the dh needed his sleep. I can't bear the huffing, puffing and cursing my dh does as ds starts crying 20 minutes after dh has come to bed.

That's a shame Lilliput as I know from my own experience with three DSs that it is very hard if you don't have support from your DH/DP.

expect it to be worse tonight

dont give in

IMO the first 2 or maybe 3 nights are the worst then you have normally cracked it

Agree with enid - don't give in! It normally does only take two or three nights.

tell your dh that he has to support you for at least a week so that it'll improve afterwards.

I'm going to have to be tough on ds and dh! What do people think of getting rid of the dummy? Is that madness?

I don't really know for sure as none of mine had them (wouldn't take them) but I wouldn't have thought so, no.

Thanks for the support, I'll let you know how we get on tonight!

I did this with dd when she was 12 months old and it took 10 days but with ds it took 2! So yes, keep on trying. Good luck!

Well done you Lilliput!

I started this a week ago (DS is 12 months) when I put him to bed. Realised I was being taken for a fool, so I was determined to do it!

Last night he cried for a minute, if that. Keep up the routine tonight and evey night. Good luck!

Well, he woke at 11pm last night, I went up and gave him a quick hug then back into bed. Like the previous night he cried for 15 minutes then gave up. He didn't wake up again until after 7am this morning!

Fantastic Lilliput - well done!

Well done! And keep it up - they're sneaky little things and may try to catch you out when you're least expecting it!

I now feel quite horrible and the poor little mite has a pretty heavy cold yet I still left him to cry last night. My friend said to me yesterday that there is always some reason as to not be tough and do controlled crying - not eating much dinner, teething, cold etc. Tell me I am not a horrid mummy!

I think if he only cries for 15 mins then he's ok. If he was crying for longer than that then maybe you should go in. But it sounds as if you're doing everything right.

He didn't cry much last night just whinged a bit. This is progress! But I still feel mean not going to him when he's unwell.

well personally i think it is a differeny story if a baby or child is ill. if a baby has a heavy cold then imho they need comfort not toughness as yr friend suggests, because it's miserable trying to get to sleep when you have a heavy cold. just my personal opinion.
i don't mean necessarily sit up all night or anything but i wouldn't apply normal rules to a baby who's ill.
the thing about cc is that if you do it at teh right time it only takes a day or so (if it's going to work at all) so it.s not like you can't get things back on track when your baby is better.
and yes i would say the same about teething, because that can be painful.

Kama, if child is bouncing in cot, again, I just ignore it. They do lie down eventually. If she is doing it for an hour or more, maybe she needs a later bedtime?