my 3 yr old is refusing to sleep in her bed!!!

[redheadmum]

the last couple of weeks my Dd has totally refused to sleep in her bedroom...she's been v unsettled at night and up to recently have been able to settle her back, but now she will only go to sleep in our bed...to the point which she is going down in our bed when we aren't in it!

She says there are spiders in her room. I have so far tried
magic circles/spells
night light
searching out all spiders and getting rid of them, telling them shoo etc
dream catcher

all to no avail.

We have a 5 month baby still in our bedroom, but this hasn't been an issue up to now. He comes in the bed for feeds.

Our sleep including Dd's is so disrupted it's making days a nightmare - help!!

just been able to get on to update!

yes Dh has done the putting down 2 days in a row....he actually has given her the choice to go down in our bed and then he takes her back to her bed asleep (he tells her that he will do this btw). Last night she woke up once and slept through. Same has happened tonight. We'll see how this goes though we both suspect it to be a temporary solution. Kinda figure that ds will be out of our bedroom in a few weeks (starting sorting the spare out today) and we'll be able to then do an all kids out the parents room thing.

I've just scrolled to look at the Green approach again....thing is she doesn't actually come out of her room she stays in and cries and then has tantrums if we leave her....assume you still do the same thing? I suspect that we'll have to do this pretty soon so wanted to check!

Then I guess you'd do basic controlled crying if she's not leaving her room? It's up to you really. Some people like to adopt softer approaches to sleep than others.

It's great though that your dp's getting involved. Is he always there to help though? You don't want to end up with a situation where she'll only do this particular thing for him and not for you. Is it lengthy process? Would you be prepared to do the same thing if dp's not there?

What happens, by the way, when she wakes in the night? Does she come into your bed to get to sleep then you move her again?

Sorry to ask so many questions. Sleep issues fascinate me!

Green (and other before him might I add!) suggest that you go in, leave for 2 mins, return, leave for 5, return and so on, even with those that arent getting out of bed, assuming you have a constant (or at least starting up as soon as you leave the room) whinge. Again, the same idea, that there is no point in all the fuss theyre making.

well, I was about to write my oscar speech when all hell let loose last night....from around 11pm to 5am she resisted sleeping in her bed, culminating in a huge tantrum.....(the toddler backlash) we kept firmly putting her back in her bed.

tonight she has more or less gone down ok and is sleeping in her bed. I will not be gleefully rubbing hands together or indeed even dare to think that we've cracked it......

Kleist, you'll have to keep a track of me as once Dd is sorted I intend to work on no 2 child.......

RHM, that sounds dreadful. I think you're right to put your foot down though. To be honest that 'solution' you tried of letting her fall asleep on your bed then moving her sounded a bit of a bad move to me. You're messing with her sleep associations big time doing that. She needs to fall asleep where she's going to stay asleep or every time she hits light sleep she'll wake up and be upset. Or so I believe!

Plus, even if it did work, you don't want to be doing it forever do you? So you'd have to face the problem some time?

I hope it goes better tonight.

k - yes can only agree with you

last night was great - she slept through all night in her bed

just need to keep being firm.....

thanks so much everyone i could nt have got this far without you!!!

see you on the baby sleep thread.......

Good luck RHM! Glad you had a better night ...