You know you're sleep deprived when...

[LoobyLou33]

You know you're sleep deprived when... (just for fun)

What are some of the strange and funny things that happen when you suffer a serious lack of Zzzzs? Please share! Here are a few of my experiences to start us off, thought it might give us something to chuckle at through the bleary small hours...

(You will spot a theme in these first few!)

1. You stir in the night and mistake DH / the teddy / the pillow for your baby. Sometimes you 'see' baby's face superimposed on them.

1. Still asleep yourself, You wake DH in the night yelling 'where's the baby?' DH points out he's in the moses basket where he always was

1. You have kafka-esque dreams including one about talking to a random man, then suddenly becoming aware you have been unwittingly breast-feeding him for the past half an hour.

1. You trail off in conversation, unable to finish a sentence, because you can't remember the necessary word.

1. You feel like getting out the bubbly because DC has let you sleep till 430am.

1. You stare and stare at the clock but your eyes are so bleary all you can make out is 8888.

1. You wonder why the last load of washing isn't very clean, then realise you forgot to put any soap in (DH actually did this not me!)

1. It's breakfast time and you've already eaten 4 cereal bars from the snack-stash.

1. You confuse your friend's name with her daughter's.

10. You nod off in the time it takes facebook to load a page.

I LOVE this thread, it's really had me chuckling. I've also done the "OMG where's the baby?" shout when I've woken up in the night. For some reason I think DH has DD over his side of the bed & might have squashed her. Many a time after being shaken awake he's blearily pointed at the Moses basket to a peacefully sleeping baby. I though it was just me going mad, glad to hear lots of others have done the same

Also I've referred to 10 wk old DD as a "he" so many times I've lost count. Hope I stop soon or the poor soul will get a complex!

You find yourself laughing manically at pointless things that really aren't that funny. For example, throwing the babys socks in the bin instead of the washing machine.

One night, while breastfeeding an excema-ridden baby for the umpteenth time and trying to remember which breast she fed from last, I actually couldn't work out my left from my right. (A few days later while listening to the news on the radio about the sleep-deprivation torture technique being used on prisoners at guantanomo bay I realised that they were getting a better quality & amount of sleep than me. I then seriously started to think about ways that I could get to spend a few nights in a nice, cushty prison cell!).

Great thread. Here's another one: during the day you find yourself saying 'good night' to people instead of 'goodbye'... I have had some strange looks.

A friend text to let me know she was in hospital for investigations. Instead of thinking sypathetic thoughts for my friend, my first thoughts were of jealousy that she'd get an uninterupted night's sleep.

Hilarious, thank you - sat here crying with laughter (makes a change from crying from lack of sleep!).

I went for my 6 week check up. After cooing over dd the receptionist asked if I was bf. Went into waiting room and found breast pad poking right out the top of my shirt!

You pick up someone elses food shopping, bring it home, unpack and wonder why you bought all these things you don't normally buy and only realise several days later....

Eyes burning do much you can't open them fully and literally not being able to walk straight (veering off to the side). This was me only a short while ago!

also tripped over the pram wheel landed on my face laughing manically which very quickly turned to tears.

A couple of days ago I put a jar of pepper in the fridge and then a used chopping board back in the cupboard after making dinner. Good think dh found it quickly - yuck.

I took my wii remote to work with me instead of my mobile...

spent a hour and half(and totally trashed my flat) looking for my glasses..which were on my head..

Thought i was being amazingly clever leaving work at lunchtime and keeping ds in nursery so i could go home and sleep for the afternoon. Get home to find i'd put my keys in his nursery bag and his dummy in the pocket of my bag instead!

Left my wallet at the tesco checkout..

Left shopping the the selfserve tesco check out(was concentrating on not leaving the wallet! now only do home shopping)

I'm sure theres plenty more as above are all past week or so's shinannigans!

Yes yes to so many of these.

The one that really chimes is not being able to read the time on the clock. Horrifying.

Preceding every sentence to another adult human with: "You'll have to excuse me but I'm terribly sleep-deprived" in the hope that it'll stop them from thinking I'm a complete lunatic.

Talking out loud to myself in the supermarket as it's the only way to remember what I went in for.

Having absolutely no idea what day of the week it is.

Talking to DD (everyone tells me it's good for her) but not making much sense - e.g. as I'm dressing her, trying to say "... and we put your arm in your sleeve" but being able to muster only "... and we put, er, this thing in, ummm, this thing", because I've forgotten the words "arm" and "sleeve".

Forgetting what country you're in and attempting to conduct conversations in the wrong language.

Being pleased that your baby managed 2 hours in a row during the night, when for months it was 1.5 at the most.

I reached a whole new level with the "I've lost the baby in the bed" syndrome last night. I was convinced that the DUVET was my baby and was worried that it was so lightweight and immaterial...I woke up to find myself rifling through it undoing the buttons thinking they were the poppers to his grobag.

So many funny things on this thread - have had to hold in the giggles when reading it with a sleeping baby on my lap for fear of waking him!!

I ordered a meat pizza and it came and I wondered who had put meat on my pizza as I've been veggie for 10+ years. Then sent DH to change DD's poopy nappy but hadn't brought any nappies. Young nervous waiter came along saying my husband needed me in the washroom - so I had to stand over a wriggling naked baby in a public loo while he went out to buy nappies. I have also sat down in the passenger seat of the car and wondered why I wasn't going anywhere.

I've had to buy a mini white board to go on my fridge. On it I write the day and date (changing it every night during the midnight feed) because I can't keep track of whether it's Sunday or Wednesday. I also have a list of preposterously mundane tasks on the white board that I'd forget to perform if they weren't written down (things like 'hang out washing').

I often wake up hearing crying and think, 'Blimey - there's a baby in the house!' before remembering it's my baby and I'd better see to it, sharpish.

You make coffee using bisto instead of nescafe

You see brown bears & heads on your bedroom dressing table at 4am