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Original poster

Early waking and time switches - an update

43 replies

Sugarmag · 23/11/2005 07:47

Well so far not off to a great start but that's partly my own fault. First of all this really "cute" penguin lamp we ordered is a lot bigger than I thought it would be and a bit scary! Actually DS does seem to like it, he's named it Peter so that's not the problem. The problem is I've not been well so I've been sleeping downstairs soem nights. So when DS gets up before his light in the morning I'm not there straight away to put him back to bed. I'm hoping that if I can be more on top of the situation he will get used to it.

I've also come up with another thing I'm hoping will help. He loves to watch Little Bear in the mornign which comes on at 6:30. His light is set for 6:30 too. So maybe tell him if he doesn't wait for his light to come on then no Little Bear???

DD is ill as well at the moment so she's been up during the night and I'm so tired I don't really know what to do with myself. Will let you know if we actually make any progress.

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Original poster
Sugarmag · 24/11/2005 09:14

Day 2. DS came through to us at 6:15. I put him back to bed and after a little bit of protesting he settled down. I didn't stay with him - went back to my own room and he got up again at 6:30 when Peter came on! So some progress.

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Original poster
Sugarmag · 25/11/2005 07:19

Day 3. DS came through at 6:00. I put him back to bed and left him. 6:05 he came through again. I told him to go back to bed or he wouldn't be allowed to watch Little Bear. Then I told him I was still sleeping and turned my back on him. He stood there by the side of my bed for the next 20 minutes just sort of whimpering. 6:25 I finally got up and explained to him why he wasn't watching LIttle Bear this morning.

2 steps forward 1 step back.....?

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Original poster
Sugarmag · 26/11/2005 07:00

Day 4 - DS slept until 6:45! Result! Except it might have more to do with the nasty cold he's come down with than my gentle yet persuasive parenting skills. ??

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Original poster
Sugarmag · 27/11/2005 07:14

Day 5 - 5:50, 6:05, 6:25.

sooooo tired - supposed to be going to the cinema tonight. I was really excited about it because I haven't been for ages (like 2 years I think!) and I don't even know why we're bothering I'll probably just fall asleep.

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sickandtired · 27/11/2005 07:36

my ds's (3 & 18mnths) wake at 5ish what ever I do. I've given up and accepted it as my lot in life

Original poster
Sugarmag · 27/11/2005 07:57

but how do you cope with that? I'm exhausted all the time. Given 5 free minutes I fall asleep. I go round to family on a Saturday afternoon for the kids to play with grandparents and I fall asleep on their sofa. I worry about picking my dd up from nursery in the afternoon because I'm too tired to drive. DH and I have an almost non-existent sex life because if I'm in bed all I want to do is sleep. I'm short-tempered due to lack of sleep. Right now I just want to cry. And DH isn't much help - he just keeps saying it's not working, it's not working. I feel that if I can persevere it will work (it HAS to work) but he'd rather just let DS get up and sit in front of the telly no matter what time he gets up.

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Original poster
Sugarmag · 28/11/2005 08:23

Day 6 - beginning to wonder if DH is right, maybe it's not working

Up at 6 today, I told him to go back to bed (which he did, on his own). Reappeared at 6:15 so went to lie down with him in his bed until 6:30.

I don't know, maybe 6:30 is too much of a stretch, 6:15 might be more reasonable - but I'm so tired and I don't want to have to get out of bed a minute earlier than necessary.

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tracyk · 28/11/2005 09:12

What time do you go to bed at night? I make sure I'm in bed for 10. ds gets up anytime between 6 and 7. If pre 6.30 he gets into bed with me and I leave him there till I've had my shower and need to get him dressed for nursery.
Some kids are just early risers - fit your life to him and get to bed earlier??

Original poster
Sugarmag · 28/11/2005 09:23

I know, I know. I went to bed late last night because I went to the cinema for the first time in about 2 1/2 years but I was desperate to see Harry Potter in the theatres instead of at home. On a Tuesday and Wednesday night I'm out until 10:15 so it's about 10:30/10:45 before I actually get to bed. And even on a night when I don't go out, I don't eat dinner until 8 so by the time we've finished and I've cleaned up the kitchen and made lunches for the next day it's after 9. If I then go straight to bed I end up feeling like i haven't had a minute to myself. I love that last hour or so before bed where I can just sit and do exactly what I want to do or just do absolutely nothing at all.

Maybe I'm just asking too much. I never understood these people who said that they didn't want having children to change their lives. Of course it's going to change your life, it's part of what it's all about. But I get a bit depressed feeling like I've not just changed my life but given myself up completely.

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tracyk · 28/11/2005 09:39

What age is your ds?
What time would you like him to leave you till?

Original poster
Sugarmag · 28/11/2005 11:56

ds is 2 1/2, hence the reason I haven't been to the cinema in that long! (also have dd 4 1/2 but she's always been a good sleeper) Ideally I'd like him to leave me until 6:30 but I'd settle for 6:15 if it was consistent. The thing is some mornings it's 6:15 and some mornings it's 5:45/5:50/6. I've gotten so used to it that lately I wake at around 5:45 and lie there in bed waiting to hear the door open. Also, although he's never been a brilliant sleeper he has gone through periods where he has regularly slept until between 6:30 and 7:00. Usually we manage to get over a bad spell like this within a week or so by just taking a no-nonsense approach and putting him back to bed without a fuss. But this "spell" has lasted for over a month now.

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beejay · 28/11/2005 12:11

What time does he go to bed? Does he still have a nap in the day?

Original poster
Sugarmag · 28/11/2005 12:18

He goes to bed around 7:15/7:30. Up until recently he was sleeping for about an hour after lunch. In the last few weeks I've tried to cut that out but he still sometimes falls asleep in the car or whatever. Especially the last few days he's had a cold and just hasn't managed to get through the day without a sleep, but never more than 1/2 hour or so.

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beejay · 28/11/2005 12:36

Well it sounds like he is getting enough sleep-- around 11 hours a night and then half hour nap in the day...
Could you bear to put him to bed a bit later, say 8pm and see if that made a difference?

(NB I seem to remember I tried all this with dd who was persistent early waker... not much consolation but didn't manage to crack it till she went to school-- out like a light at 7.30 and normally sleeps till gone 7 now...)

tracyk · 28/11/2005 12:41

Can you not just encourage him to snuggle under the covers with you till a decent time? that's all I do with ds - go fetch him (he's still in a cot)and bring him back to our bed. Then (if I have time) have a doze while he watches Milkshake.
Would he play with some toys on his own in his room - or does he want you to get up and play with him?

tracyk · 28/11/2005 12:42

ps - he's not a bit chilly at that time of the morning? ds sleeps longer if he's really snuggly in his sleeping bag.

Original poster
Sugarmag · 28/11/2005 12:42

I used to put him to bed just before 7 so this is later. We've tried pushing it closer to 8 (which I hate doing because I just long for that bit of peace and quiet in the evening) but he still woke early then was grumpy and miserable the next day.

He'll start nursery next August adn stay until 2 most days so maybe that will be enough to wear him out.....if I survive until then that is!

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Original poster
Sugarmag · 28/11/2005 12:45

Hi tracyk - I don't think he's cold, the heating has usually come on by then and he's pretty cosy under his duvet now he's in a bed. He would get into bed with me. And if it was 6:15 I wouldn't really mind. But even if it was 5:45 he still wouldn't go back to sleep - he would lie there talking to me until I eventually got up. Yes he likes telly and would sit quietly if I put it on, but again - I just can't see having to put the telly on at a quarter to six in the morning. Lots of good suggestions, I think the problem is I just want the perfect child and no one can tell me how to do that!

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Original poster
Sugarmag · 28/11/2005 12:48

P.S. Somehow I just thought that keeping this diary online might help me (and anyone else in a similar situation) see if and how any progress was being made.

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tracyk · 28/11/2005 12:53

Nursery could help. ds usually sleeps till 6.30 - but on Sun. it was 5.45 (first time in ages) - but he had been housebound all Sat. I know that nursery knackers him and I try and get out in the fresh air sat & sun to knacker him too. so the lack of exercise on Sat did affect his waking time next day.

beejay · 28/11/2005 14:24

To be perfectly honest ( and probably not what you want to hear) i can't see how you can have a long peaceful evening and a lie-in (okay I know 6.15 is not a lie-in but you know what I mean..)
Sounds like he is getting enough sleep and i reckon would be darn near impossible to get him to sleep more.

Alternative solution: get up with him, put the tele or a 1/2 hour video on, go back to bed.
Works for me every time

Original poster
Sugarmag · 28/11/2005 14:44

beejay - sorry, but I don't exactly consider a whole hour to myself a "long" evening and likewise, I don't consider 6:30 a lie in.

Also, and maybe I haven't explained this very well, but as much as I do genuinely appreciate all the feedback I didn't really expect anyone to be able to offer me any wonderful solutions. I was just keeping this diary online out of interest.

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beejay · 28/11/2005 15:54

Totally know what you mean and hope I didn't come across as condescending sugarmag!

Original poster
Sugarmag · 29/11/2005 07:47

Hi Beejay I know you meant well and lots of people have said the same thing. Anyway, it's Day 7 now and he was up again at 6 so I reckon it's not working and it's probably not going to. So I suppose DH and I just have to decide now what to do when he gets up. Do we let him crawl into bed with us and try to doze while he talks to us? Do we get up, take him downstairs and put the tv on then TRY adn go back to sleep? I could probably do that on the weekends. But during the week, knowing I had to get up in another 20 minutes anyway I'm sure that once I was up that would be it. Do we try to figure out some way he can turn his own light on and encourage him to play on his own in his room? Usually this suggestion is met with cries of "No, I don't want to!" He's actually very good at playing on his own but he seems to have figured out at that at that time of morning tv or bed with mummy and daddy are better options. This mornign he just stood by the side of our bed until 6:25 when we let him come in for a cuddle.

Anyway, thanks everyone for all the suggestions.

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sickandtired · 29/11/2005 09:18

Just caught up with this thread, to be honest I would persevere with putting him back in his bed, instead if the tele thing. I wish i had, but its too late now. My friends little girl doesn't get up until her parents are miving about, and that was instilled but putting a stair gate at her bedroom door, so when she got and demanded attention however much she cried she got no notice taken of her until 7am.

To be honest getting up at 5am is killing me, but I don't see a way out of it, esp. as my two are in the same room and wake each other up, once theres two on the go you have no chance