Early waking and time switches - an update

[Sugarmag]

Well so far not off to a great start but that's partly my own fault. First of all this really "cute" penguin lamp we ordered is a lot bigger than I thought it would be and a bit scary! Actually DS does seem to like it, he's named it Peter so that's not the problem. The problem is I've not been well so I've been sleeping downstairs soem nights. So when DS gets up before his light in the morning I'm not there straight away to put him back to bed. I'm hoping that if I can be more on top of the situation he will get used to it.

I've also come up with another thing I'm hoping will help. He loves to watch Little Bear in the mornign which comes on at 6:30. His light is set for 6:30 too. So maybe tell him if he doesn't wait for his light to come on then no Little Bear???

DD is ill as well at the moment so she's been up during the night and I'm so tired I don't really know what to do with myself. Will let you know if we actually make any progress.

Well that's part of the reason we don't just leave him to cry it out - we've got a DD 4 1/2 and don't like him to wake her if we can help it.

So if I stick with it for a while which tactic do you think will get better results:

a)just ignore him when he appears in our room, let him stand there in the dark by the side of the bed for half an hour but just don't talk to him

or
b)put him straight back to bed every time he gets up until 6:30

Maybe part of the problem is that I've been going back and forth betweeen these two strategies

so your issue is that he's getting up too early? it's not that he's waking in the night or anything?

I know you don't want to hear it but I wonder if your expectations are a bit unrealistic - it really does sound like he doesn't need anymore sleep and getting up at 6am (although it's early) is not at all unusual for a child of his age. Remember, they can't tell the time yet so he has no idea how long he has to wait once he wakes up until his light comes on.

Is it because you have to work late on Tues/Wed (you say you're back at 10.15)? Could you possibly have a deal with your dh where you take turns having a lie in - could one of you lie-in on one morning and then the other on the next morning (sat/sun) if you are feeling sleep deprived?

I found that once they got to around 3 and started nursery, mine both started sleeping a bit later.

Hi Sugarmag - it sounds like you're doing exactly the right thing and I'd perservere. My ds1, also 2 1/2 but in cot still, was waking at 5 for about a month just after the clocks went back. DS2, 9mths, is in the same room as him. I'd go and get ds2 and put him in our room and tell ds1 to go back to sleep as it wasn't time to get up yet. This seemed to work after about a month and he is now happily sleeping til 7-7.30. A friend of mine has a 3 year old who has been a really early waker - 5ish - for over a year - they have never been consistent with putting him back to bed and, even tho he's now started nursery he's still waking at that time and gets really tired by the end of the day...Good luck!

I would persevere with getting up and walkinghimback to his bed, and talling him firmly that he stays there until you say. To be honest its my 18 month old that is the pain, you CAN NOT sleep through his tantrum, and you can't ignore him as he wokes himself in to a rage that he can't get out of.

Thanks sickandtired - I think you've given me a bit of incentive to persevere for a while longer!

He's generally such a good, easy-going child, not one to argue or fuss TOO much (that's usually his sister's job). But this is just the one thing he's always been difficult about. The thing that makes me so sure he CAN do it is that he has done it in the past and perseverance has paid off. So will try the 'walking-him-straight-back-to-bed' approach for a few more days and see if we make any progress. Looking back through this diary I can see that I've not been consistent enough about doing that. I've read and watched enough "parenting" shows to know that the key to changing any unwanted behaviour is to be absolutley 100% consistent in your approach.

stick with it, you have given me a resolve to put them in different rooms for a month to try and thrash this out.

definitley persevere - we're still using the fairy lights on a timer in dd's room (shes just turned 2). Most mornings she comes through at just after 6.30am, which is when they are set for. On a couple of occasions she has come through a bit later than that and then tells me she has been playing in her room (bless her). There are still occasions when she comes through too early and she gets carried back to her bed. If I dont think she is going to go back to sleep and its after 6am I will put her bedside light on and tell her she can 'read' her books or draw on her chalk board until the 'fairies' wake up.

I'm sure it took a few weeks before she started getting the message and I didnt think it was going to work at first but it does take a while for it to sink in. They are still young and have short attention spans but you are setting up good habits for the future as well - sleep problems dont last forever and when they get to school you will have a hard job getting them out of bed at all....lol

my ds1 is 2yr 4mnths - he does the same as yours... the way we cope is to allow him into our bed on the strict condition he doesn't talk - if he does, he is back to his bed. He gets a bottle of milk and his teddy if necessary, but usually settles for a cuddle from his Daddy.

We have to keep him from talking, cuz his 11mnth brother sleeps in our room in his cot, and we don't like to wake him.

Failing the above - or if baby got woken in the process, one of us (dh or me) (the one who is feeling less exhausted) goes down stairs with them both to play or read with them quietly to give the other some sleep time in.

Other idea - have your dinner with your kiddies - then you'd have your supper earlier so you could sleep earlier - and it would make a family dinner too. (just more of a rush to get it all ready around 5/6pm)

Day 8 and some progress, what do you know! He came through at around 6 adn I said let's go back to bed. He just said OK, took my hand adn walked back to bed. At 6:30 he came back told me that Peter (the Penguin light ) was awake. I gave him lots of praise and put Little Bear on for him straight away - and he seemed really pleased with himself too.

Thank you again sickandtired and the others who said stick it out. Will let you know what happens tomorrow.

where did you get peter from - maybe I will get one and start this off too. DS2 is going in my SD'd room tonight, they only come at the weekend so I am going to try and get this cracked!

by the way - my wake up was 4.15 this morning - si I have to do something, I'm at work with my eyes hanging out my head!

4:15 - poor you!!!

I got the penguin light from here and DS loves it, but any old nightlight or bedside lamp would do. All I did was buy a digital time switch from B&Q and plug the light into that. I thought if I bought something cute it would just help DS get more into the whole idea. Actually, I have to say, the penguin isn't even as "cute" as I thought it would be as it's bigger than I imagined but DS is happy with it. What I do like about it is that it uses only a 15w bulb so it's quite a dim light. If by some miracle he were still asleep it might not actually wake him.

Good luck and let us know how you get on!!!

MY ds used to wake at 7-7.30 and in the last few months has become 6ish whiach i have decided to except reluctantly (I hate mornings)

Have coped by going to bed earlier, started cooking dinners in advance (eg curry for 4 and re-heat on 2nd day) so that i still get some me time every other night and also letting DH bath and settle whilst I cook and vice versa.
Really does make a huge difference being in bed by 10 (9.30 sometinmres - so sad!) Feel I have "re-set" my body clock and 6am is now (almost!) bareable!!

DH and I have just started the alternating lie in thing at the weekends which is bliss! Should have done it ages ago, so nice to roll over and go back to sleep when he goes and gets DS up to play!

Always feel for people who have early risers as I've been doing it myself for the past 6 years. I do think some children are larks. My eldest is 6 now and he has only slept past 6.30am on a handful of occasions. All the sleep experts tell you that early waking is the hardest if not impossible to crack.
I decided to stop fighting it and use coping strategies instead. I started taking him downstairs at whatever ungodly hour he woke, put a video or the TV on, give him milk and then I would curl up on the sofa and go back to sleep. As he has got older, this has evolved into him going downstairs and I just put the TV on and get the milk out for him (all of which has been prepared the night before) and then I go back to bed and back to sleep until dd wakes up at a more reasonable hour.
I do now insist that he tries to go back to sleep if he wakes up before 6am. I tell him that if he doesn't go back to sleep he won't be able to do xy or z and generally that keeps him in bed for another 45 mins.
I really do sympathise with all of you - it is horrible starting the day before dawn.

Day 9 - 6:15, 6:20, 6:25. Put him back to bed each time. I finally got up at 6:25 adn didn't let him watch little bear. Although I do want to persevere I'm still wondering whether 6:30 is asking a bit much.

Part of the problem (a big part of the problem for me) is that I start waking up anywhere from 5:30 and only doze after that because I keep waiting for the door to open. I may be just drifting off when I think I hear it and wake up again only to find everything is actually quiet.

Do you have to actually get out of bed at that time? After dd wakes and comes through she plays about on our floor with toys or climbs into our bed and 'reads' a book and we dont get up and go downstairs until sometime between 7.15 and 7.30am which is about the time she has breakfast. Just because she is awake and out of her bed doesnt mean I have to be too!! (she has to stay in her room until the fairy lights come on at 6.30am but can play about in our room after that)

Day 10 - 6:45! The good thing about that is it means that the light doesn't wake him straight away. Good to know. I was in the shower when he got up and he couldn't wait to tell me when I got out - "mummy I sleep until Peter wake up and then I watch Little Bear!!!"

well done on sticking with it. You will probably get good mornings and bad ones but now at least you know he is starting to get the message.

Its sad to think that 6.45am is a lie in these days...lol