Could someone nice please give me some advice on 11wo's sleep that doesn't involve the phrases 'stop cosleeping', 'express' and 'wean early'?

[BellaBearisWideAwake]

Hi DS2 is doing really well. A typical night involves a longish sleep from 9 o'clock till maybe 2am, although a few times till 4am. He is EBF and we cosleep, and although he has a bedside cot, he is actually cuddled up to my side. When I don't do this he hasn't slept more than 3 or 4 hours.

After that, sleep is a disaster: he feeds and sleeps in bursts of not more than 90 mins, mostly less, much less. I think he is full of windy as he is so wriggley. He is then up for the day at about 6ish. Which means I am not really sleeping past 4ish. Luckily DH is getting up with DS1 if he wakes or wakes early.

I went to the weigh clinic today and accidentally ended up crying at the HV, as I am so tired. She suggested, PND (No. HAd it horribly with DS1. I know today I was just tired and weepy when given attention. It is categorically NOT PND), giving him a bottle (I am not expressing. I hate hate hate expressing, and anyway, I am fine with feeding my baby myself), leaving him in his cot (he sleeps much worse when not next to me, and therefore I do also) and "in five weeks time, you could wean him!" . So not really in tune with my parenting style.

However, DS1 had reflux and was one of the WOrld's WOrst Sleepers, so I am not that sympathetic to myself as it is so so so much better this time round.

But I am still exhausted.

Any advice for improving sleep between 2am and 6am?

Yep, feeding lying down worked for me as even dozing off was better than nothing.

This whole business of always leaving it 3 hours or whatever between feeds never worked for me either. Frankly I would ignore that. It's not as if you get more sleep when you have a hungry child wailing, and like other posters, I don't see the logic of fewer feeds in the day = better sleeping at night, at all.

Hi, well sleeping with DH didn't work on two levels. Turns out we need a new mattress for the spare room - I can't believe I have been letting my PILs sleep on that horrible thing! And also, DS only slept for three hours at first.

However, even though i have had less sleep than the night ebfore, it must have been better sleep because I don't feel so teary today so that is good.

Re feeding lying down, I have tried again and it's just not for us. I leak everywhere from both boobs, DS throws up and I still need to sit up to burp him. NOt burping is even worse for sleep. At least we are feeding in bed this time round, with DS1, I used to get up and feed him in another room, no idea why!

I really appreciate all the helpful advice I have been given. I wish I had a HV like this!

Well, glad you're feeling slightly better today. Get online and order a new mattress! Keep trying with one of you sleeping with the baby and one in another room - DS may feel a bit unsettled with it at first. It's only temporary, and you won't need to do it every night, but it certainly helped me get the basic minimum I needed to survive.

I also found that when DH slept in another room occasionally, he would wake up with lots more energy (of course) and then was just a lot more help, and as he was all energetic and happy and doing stuff for me it cheered me up a bit, too. I was the same when it was my turn!

Obviously, though, prioritise yourself.

glad you are feeling better

btw dd2 fed every 2 hours or so in the day til she was at least 5 months