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Original poster

If you had a truly terrible, and I mean earth shatteringly awful, sleeper, did it ever improve? WHEN for goodness sake?

55 replies

TheSnickeringFox · 18/06/2011 00:18

Ds (7.5mo) is definitively The Worst Sleeper In The World, Ever. Needs to be slung or fed to sleep for naps. I then cannot move or he wakes instantly. Doesn't sleep in pram or car seat. Zero self settling skills. Takes ages to settle at night and then wakes multiple times through the evening. We cosleep to preserve the shreds of sanity I have left. Please, for the love of god, tell me it gets better.

OP posts:
akaEmmaFrost · 18/06/2011 10:50

At 9 months when I knew that she was physically able to get through the night without a feed, I cut her feeds down from about 7 a night! to one. I offered water and didn't pick her up. The cot was right next to the bed so I would lie there with my hand on her so she knew I was there and felt safe. It took about 4 days. She never slept regularly during the day though , having had a ds who slept for three hours on the button between 2 and 5 every day, she came as a real shock.

msbuggywinkle · 18/06/2011 10:56

DD1 was like your DS SnickeringFox. There was a huge improvement (no input from us!) at a year, then the wakings gradually got fewer and fewer til she was sleeping through totally reliably by 2ish.

Now she's nearly 5 we have to wake her up, left to her own devices she sleeps til 9!

fuckmepinkandcallmerosie · 18/06/2011 10:59

DD1 is 12. She is old enough now to go to her own room and get up when she feels like it. She never slept more than 2 or 3 hours at night until she went to school. I don't think she sleeps through even now, she's often awake when I go to bed and she gets up EVERY DAY betweek 6 and 6.30

Sorry.

Zimm · 18/06/2011 18:51

Hi Op - a friend of mine had the worst sleeper in our NCT group. He was dreadful - up multiple times per night every night, took ages to settle etc etc. he magically started sleeping 11 hours after a trip away at 8 months. I kid you not. My own DD - 10 months is still up 1-3 times a night and I am jealous.

Bumperlicioso · 18/06/2011 19:16

If it makes you feel any better, dd2, who was a pretty nightmarish sleeper (though not nearly as bad as yours as we can usually guarantee a sleep on a trip in the car) is suddenly at 8 months more or less sleeping through the night. Last month she was waking at least 3 times. Now it's about 8-7.30. However getting her down has become a nightmare for naps and bed, a naps have gone from an hour or so to 20-30 mins so you can't have everything.

The key has been the night feeds. I basically started trying to settle her instead of feeding. Not refusing feeds but trying to settle first. Frustrating because the settle can take a long time whereas I knew a feed would get her back off quickly (funnily enough the middle of the night has always been the easiest to get her back down.)

I do sympathise, it seems never ending, and people think you are being incredibly precious. I can't count the number of times I have had dd2 in the sling asleep and frozen and turned away when I've seen a lorry trundling towards us, or cursed some twat on his noisy moped. Having a bad sleeper makes you like like, behaving like that does not make a bad sleeper as many people think. If I'd hoovered around her while asleep as a baby she never would have slept. Hell, she wouldn't be put down for the first 3 months!

AngelDog · 18/06/2011 23:40

DS wasn't quite as bad as yours - at that age, wouldn't sleep in car, pram, wouldn't stay asleep in sling, but I could leave him in the cot after feeding/rocking to sleep. At 6 months he woke 6/7 times a night. I used NCSS ideas to help him and he went to just one waking at 7 months.

When he started work on the 8/9 month developmental leap it all went belly-up and he woke about 5 times a night from then until 13 months. I couldn't manage to wake myself up in the night enough to do anything about it (we co-sleep). At 13.5 months he spontaneously started waking just once at my bedtime. I didn't do anything at all. :)

Now he's 18 months and although his sleep is easily disrupted, it always reverts to the one waking at my bedtime pattern without any effort on my part. I still feed him to sleep for naps and bedtime.

At 11 months he suddenly started sleeping in the pushchair reliably and has done ever since. No idea why, but it's very handy. Confused

At about 11 months he started to be able to get himself back to sleep if he'd been up for a long stretch at night - although he still can't self-settle at bedtime or for naps. It meant that when he was up for 2 hours in the night, I'd just let him roam around the bed and then I could drop off before he did. What a relief.

swanker · 18/06/2011 23:48

I'm sorry- mine still has a lot of sleep issues - she is 5.5 Sad

I did pick-up, put-down (from baby whisperer) at 8mo with her, and it improved some of the issues (ie got her to sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time, changed how long it took her to get to sleep in the first place)

I think some children just have an issue with the switching off to go to sleep.

ConnorTraceptive · 18/06/2011 23:53

I has a hideous sleeper for the first year nearly broke me. TBH it only changed because I went a bit boot camp with him after failing with every other method. He's a great sleeper now.

I think my method would go against what most people on here would advise and I hated doing it but it really was a last resort

Maryz · 19/06/2011 00:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cathycat · 19/06/2011 00:13

DS (my 4th) now only wakes up at 5:30 which is the best he's been. He is 4. Because 3 of my 4 have all been bad sleepers, I have had 11 years of bad sleep. Have I won some type of competition for that? I batter go to bed now - 5 hours sleep for tonight!

cat64 · 19/06/2011 00:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

NicholaGriff · 19/06/2011 21:02

My DD is 8 months and is a pretty good sleeper (once she is asleep that is as she has just started to have a massive paddy when being put in her cot).

I am a real stickler for routine and every night she has a bath, bottle then bed. People think I am a bit anal about it to be honest, but I think this has really helped her realise that night time is for sleep. I also try to keep her to a rough sleep and feed routine during the day.

RockThePots · 19/06/2011 22:38

My dd is 14 months and still up 3/4 times a night i'm afraid. No amount of routines are going to change her. I really think some babies are just naturally good sleepers and some are not, nothing you can do about it.

I'm pretty resigned to being in it for the long haul now, once I got my head around the idea and stopped manically hoping that tonight would be the night I felt alot better.

Cathycat I think you can win the competition Grin wear it as a badge of honour.

hellymelly · 19/06/2011 22:43

Mine is now four,just, and she sleeps much better than she used to,although she does sometimes still wake once at about 10.30 or 11 p.m. for reasons I can't fathom.I think maybe she is hopeless at getting back under the covers if she gets cold out of them.For her first 3 years she wouldn't sleep under covers,she had a little woolly sleeping bag instead.I suppose it gradually got better from 3.I realise this isn't what you want to hear!

Cathycat · 21/06/2011 21:09

NicholaGriff, I did all that and still had bad sleepers! I have a great routine but they all woke up to a greater or lesser degree throughout the night except for dd who did everything I could have wished for with no effort! DS4 goes to bed no probs but always wakes up at the crack of dawn! (Thanks for the badge btw).

VotePedro · 21/06/2011 22:14

13 months. DS1 was pretty hideous sleepwise - I seemed to spend most of his first year trying to get him to sleep (on the plus side I walked miles and got rid of excess flab). Think it was a mixture of Dr Jay Gordon (think that's right -always want to type Dr Jay Leno but that's defo not right) and him starting nursery where he was so worn out by the excitement of it all he would have a proper nap and would crash out at night. He's a brilliant sleeper now 8-7.30 with occasional lie ins till 8.15ish Grin I never thought it would happen!

Original poster
TheSnickeringFox · 22/06/2011 12:24

Cat64, finally, someone who has read the question properly :o

OP posts:
2gorgeousboys · 22/06/2011 12:37

DS1 slept brilliantly right from the start, I was the smug Mum at baby groups who was doing it right and had the perfect child Hmm

DS2 came along and I did exactly the same things however....he is now 7 and still does not sleep through and/or stay in his own bed most nights.

I've realised that it was not me being 'perfect' and doing the right thing with DS1 but that they have very different sleeping needs Blush

MrsDistinctlyMintyMonetarism · 22/06/2011 21:58

The only thing I noticed that made any difference at all was stopping the night time bath Shock.

They enjoy it far too much, get all hyped up and it takes a considerably longer time for them to settle.

Polgara2 · 22/06/2011 22:06

About 6 or 7 sorry!

OneHelluvaBroad · 22/06/2011 22:10

My oldest was 2.5 yrs old before he slept through the night. We never really cracked the daytime naps, though.

Grockle · 22/06/2011 22:13

DS got a bit better around 18 months old - that's when he first slept through the night but he was 4 Shock before he consistently slept through the night and remained in his own bed. He's almost 6 now and sleeps well but takes forever to nod off - he's often still pottering around at 9pm. How he survives, I don't know!

BadPoet · 22/06/2011 22:15

Between 3 & 4, although there was improvement between 7.5m and then (with a regression at 2.5ish). This is both of them, although the truly bad sleeper was dd.

MummyDigger · 26/06/2011 08:50

Its soooo reassuring to read about all the other terrible sleepers here....

DS has always been a non-sleeper. At 8 months he would wake up at best every 2 hours (sometimes every ten minutes). I went a bit mad trying and failing to change things. He started sleeping a bit better when I (finally) managed to night wean him from bf at 20 months.

A month on, he does the odd longer stretch (5-6 hours IN ONE GO!!!) but never sleeps more than 7 hours total per night. He is often up all evening despite a sensible nap/bedtime routine etc etc. He is otherwise a sweet and easy toddler. I do a lot of sleeping-with-my-eyes open at work and hope no-one notices...

JoleneJoleneJoleneJoleeene · 26/06/2011 08:56

Still in the no sleep club at 2.5 years. It is better than at 7 months when I was hallucinating from sleep deprivation but I'm still on ADs to get me through the constant tiredness.

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