WHEN will she sleep through??

[hecklephone]

DD2 has just turned one and has never slept through. We've been co-sleeping until about a month or so ago, when I decided enough was enough and began some sleep training, a bit of PUPD. So she improved a bit for about three weeks, during which she managed to sleep in her cot all night, although I was usually up to resettle her at least 3 or 4 times. However, it's literally one step forward and two steps back - in the past week or so we've returned to co-sleeping from about 1 or 2am onwards, as she gets to the point where she's just too difficult to resettle and I could be in her room for an hour or more, just trying to get her off to sleep again. Oh, and I've also gone back to giving her a bottle in the night too, in the hope that a full tummy might help - I don't know if it's making any difference and am a bit concerned that I'm forming another habit as she usually eats well and probably doesn't need a night feed.

I've been waiting since she was about 6 months old for her to turn a corner and begin self-settling or even just start sleeping alone for a bit longer but it's never happened! Weaning, walking, sleep training, turning one - nothing seems to be making a difference.

I don't know if I'm looking for advice or just reassurance that others have been in the same position and it's somehow got better?

Any experience/words of wisdom would be gratefully received!

My DS didn't start sleeping through most of the time until about 17 months.

Even now at 2.8 he still wakes up occasionally.

Sorry to say it, but IME it was a big step backwards to reintroduce a bottle in the night as it will be one more habit that you will now need to break, but I do understand how frustrating it can be and that you will literally try anything!

Try not to beat yourself up about it, either make the decision to just go with it and she will settle in her own time, or take a deep breath and do controlled crying..........

I did this with my DS and it worked in about 2-3 days - I was well impressed! It is heart wrenching though, and not everyone's cup of tea.

Thanks mikehock. Don't worry, I appreciate your honesty about the bottle issue - I had a niggling feeling it was a bad idea anyway. I've resolved not to give her one any more and am trying not to lift her out of the cot tonight, and to encourage her to fall asleep lying down, albeit holding onto my hand.

I've been tempted to try CC but I'm afraid I have no confidence that it'll work! I just have this feeling that we'll go through all the crying (her and me!) but she'll end up still waking up. I suppose I suspect she'll just have to grow out of it, but perhaps there's more I could be doing in the meantime to encourage her to sleep longer?

Anyway, cheers for the advice

Also if possible, try to get her in the buggy and out in the fresh air for a long walk before her dinner maybe?

It always helped my ds sleep better.

I don't think cc is your only option. My ds only slept through St 12 months and I didn't do cc. He slept really well between 12 months and 24 months but since then we have new issues with fears and illnesses.

Try and read some gentler options like gradual withdrawal?

Think the milk is a bad idea though as I know a 4 year old who still wakes for his! You could water it down gradually over a few weeks?

Good luck

Don't co-sleep. Don't give her a bottle.

The fresh air idea is a good one.

Thanks for more advice folks - the latest is, she actually showed some real signs of improvement at the beginning of the week - I managed to settle her into her cot all night again, although I was still up 2/3 times, but she settled much easier. And we've also given up the bottle, no big problems there. The only thing is, literally the day after showing such promise she came down with the cold - so we've taken a massive step back again!

So I'm just trying to ride it out, help her get lots of sleep in any way I can so she gets better soon and massively cross my fingers that she remembers the good habits again when she's better.

Just read this hoping for some advice! Heckle - I am in same boat with my 13 month old DD.

My DP is not happy(understatement) that we have never been out on our own for an evening, as because her sleep is so shite, I work 4 days a week (5am alarm call) and I am too tired and reluctant to leave her with a babysitter due to her wake ups. No pattern to them but about 3 a night. Some quick resettles, some take 3 hours.

Done CC, cranial osteopathy, both worked for a few nights, but gradually back to shit.

You have my sympathies. It is so tough:)

Just wanted to add my sympathy. Our DD was the same. Didn't sleep through until 12 months. Then slept through for 6 months, and stopped again at 18 months for another year. In the 18-30 month year she slept through no more than a handful of times.

We reintroduced the bottle at nights and co-slept, both huge mistakes.

It was only when we withdrew the bottle that she started sleeping through again.

Even now (2.8 years) we still have quite a lot of disturbed nights, I'm afraid to say.

Bon courage!

My DD slept through for the first time when she was 15 months and I weaned her off the breast. When she realised there was nothing to wake for, she stopped waking - just like that. However there were also a couple of other factors that I think have contributed:

1. it's already been said, but lots of fresh air and exercise really do help them sleep better.

1. cut down on the daytime naps - my dd is now 17m and she has only 30 mins after lunch. Sometimes she doesn't even have that. I have found that on the rare occasion when she has more (e.g. during a long car journey) it affects her night time sleep. However if she has 30 mins or less she falls asleep quickly and easily - and stays asleep! Not every child needs a decent day time nap, so that might be worth a try. If, however, your dc becomes overtired or it doesn't help the night time then obv. this is not the solution for you.

Whatever you decide to do though, consistency is so important. As is communication. My dd recently went through a phase of waking up once or twice a night (heaven compared to what it used to be, but still annoying nonetheless!) so as I was putting her to bed each night i would tell her that she mustn't wake mummy up during the night as mummy needed to sleep. Then when she woke and I went in I would remind her that I had told her not to wake mummy. Whether this made a difference or not I don't know, but she soon stopped waking me up.

Good luck - hope things get better very soon.

Yikes LittleBear and MrsBloomingTroll! But good to know I'm not the only one with issues. I frequently wish there was some kind of secret formula or magic age at which they sleep better but it is true - every child is different. I try to comfort myself with the knowledge that she won't be doing this when she's 5 (I hope!!!)...I just really hope we get some more sleep before then!

Thanks too for the advice on naps goose - I reckon developmentally she's close to dropping some daytime sleep, so I'm keeping an eye on that.

THe hideous cold she caught is only just on its way out so I'm taking it easy on her for the time being - but I'll soon get back to enforcing some better sleep habits I hope.

my dd slept through for the first time at 15 months. The past few weeks (now 19 months) have been hitand miss with teeth/colds/vomiting. She'll either do 7m til 5/6am then milk and snooze til 7ish or be up at 2-3am and sobbing for milk - i tend to ask her what she wants and if it's a cuddle she gets a cuddle and quickly back to sleep if she asks for milk she gets a quick drink in the dark with no cuddling and off to sleep quickly. We have tried cc a couple of times - after 4hrs of screaming (hunger) i have to accept that if she's monkeying quick back to bed, sob for 10 mins and sleep will work if crying goes on longer than 30 mins and milk is offered witha "yes" we do milk and back to sleep. miles easier and I assume one days she'll just grown out of it (she is tiny though 8kg and really not at all keen on solids)

If this is turning into a support thread for non sleeping babies over the age of 1, then I need to join.

Maybe we could start a dedicated thread?

Something in me kinda snapped once she turned one and I've lost patience a bit with the whole situation. Maybe once a night we'll get a 3 hour slot, but mostly 1-2 hours. She is still BF but not fed on every waking.

She is also small, at just over 12 months she is 16lbs 3oz (7.35kg)

I know I didn't sleep through until 2 and I know it will happen in it's own time, but I would like some uninterrupted sleep. The three teeth that are coming through are def. not helping.

No advice, because obviously I'm not qualified there. She can go to sleep on her own, in fact it is the only way she'll go to sleep. She just doesn't stay that way.

but at least you're/we're not alone :)

DS will be four this summer and backslid majorly a few months ago; he was waking up every few nights, coming into our room, etc. Usually he was upset but sometimes just wanted to chat. (Hi, mommy! Are you sleeping? Is it morning? Uh yes, DS, three a.m. is technically morning... )

Some things that have helped:

*Humidifier: we have old fashioned radiators and our upstairs (where the bedrooms are) gets quite stuffy at night. This has seemed to help a bit.

*Lavender lotion. Apparently the smell helps them sleep. DS' teacher is actually peddles pure oils on the side and makes lotion out of them, so it's lovely organic stuff. Right after dinner and a bath I give him a rub down with it. We also

• All start slowing down and being quiet after dinner & bath. DH used to rough house with him right up til bedtime, but now we have awhile with dim lights, quiet stories, prayers, etc. We even talk more quietly. Sometimes we let DS watch a short youtube video of someone singing a lullabye (there are lots! :) )

Also we've been doing the thing where you tuck them in and say "I will be right back to check on you." Then we come back in a few minutes, check, and say "all right, I'll be back soon," and so on. Most often now he is sleeping by the first check.

Hmm..what else? Curtains that block out every bit of light (important now that it's getting warmer and lighter) This also helps them sleep in longer in the morning I've found. Some sort of white noise; fans work well and keep air circulating. Lots of fresh air during the day and enough food at dinner to keep them full. (DS seems to need carbs and milk to stay sleeping well.)

I know this seems very long and overly precious, believe me, I know! But DS is a completely different boy when he doesn't get enough sleep and I'm not so fabulous when tired myself . So if it works, I'm all for it! :) Since we've been doing some of these things he's been sleeping 11-12 hrs a night, which is fab because he doesn't nap and I feel like the little ones really need a lot of sleep.

I know some of these might not work because yours are so little compared my mine, but maybe one of them will help.

thanks yank :)

all new stuff welcome

Sorry it's not very groundbreaking, I wish I had something new and improved because it can be soooooo frustrating. :)

Hmm...have just read a study saying that lavender can act as a hormone disruptor in boys? Yikes! Well, I'll strike lavender lotion off the list until I look into it further.

I can't stand lavender and since we share a room we won't be having it anyway

Just adding my name to the list - nearly 14 months and has never never never never slept through the night. Just like some of you, things start to get better and then DD gets poorly or some teeth start coming and we take backward steps. Last night I was up three times - albeit not for long each time - and that was a good night!

Dropping the night feed definitely helped and moving from a sleeping back to duvet and pillow at 12 months also helped a lot.

DD seems to just want to know I am there when she wakes up -she does not want to be picked up - just a quick 'night night' from me and a rub on back / tummy / head and she is usually back off to sleep within a few minutes. So not toooooooooooooo bad I suppose!

I get v fed up with hearing from all other Mums about how well their little ones sleep - IMO they are lieing! - if you actually ask them details you find out that their idea of sleeping through the night is not yours - one of the Mums I know has crowed on about how her little boy has sleptthrough since he was 3 months old - but then admitted he does not go to bed until midnight!!

Knowing you are not alone is half the battle in feeling better - obviously more sleep is the other half but I have no answers for that one! Will keep checking in for any more tips!

The pick up/put down technique has always worked well for us when dd's sleep has regressed. She is 13 months now and has slept through, on and off, since I weaned her off night feeds at 7 months. I think it's partly down to temperament: some babies sleep for 12 hours of their own accord from a young age, but I don't think my dd would have done this. She needed/needs to be helped to learn to settle herself, and we have to repeat this every few months when she has a big development spurt or whatever.

The most important thing is consistency. Pick a tactic and stick to it. If you don't like the idea of cc then pick up/put down could be the strategy for you.

With older babies who can pull up to standing, you don't pick them up, just lay them down when they stand up. Don't speak to her, apart from to say 'lie down' or 'sleepy time' or whatever. She is old enough to understand this. Now my dd has a bit more comprehension she will usually lie down when she hears the words (though she is likely to pop up again a moment later!). I sit on a stool by the door and don't make eye contact. I stay there for as long as it takes. Eventually she starts sitting up rather than standing. Then she just gives up and goes to sleep. I don't take her out of the cot at all. You have to be a bit like a robot whose only job is lay your baby down and say 'lie down'!

The thing is, it will take more than an hour at first. For the first couple of nights you might be up for a few hours. But for us it really, really worked and we vastly prefer it to controlled crying as she knows we are there.

These days, if there is nothing wrong, she will sleep from 7pm for 10-11.5 hours. It is worth the hard work imo. When she does wake up occasionally, she seems to know the score and won't fuss for long.

If she is ill or teething we give her pain relief or water, whatever she needs, and give her a cuddle. But once her pain is sorted, unless she is properly upset (rather than just shouting to get up!), we still do pick up/put down.

Oh and I would second what everyone else has says and ditch the bottle straight away!

One final thing- whatever you decide to do, make a plan of when you are going to do it. We chose a time when we were not going away at all for a few weeks and there would be no big changes to her routine. We did it at the weekend when we didn't need to go to work the next day. And we went to bed super early each night.

DD only woke at 3am last night. A good night!! I just want to wish you all reasonable-ish night. I am praying a bad night is not to follow last nights good night!
DD is so random with her wakings...no pattern at all.

Wonders if it is the same with all of you guys?

we had feed at 8, wake at 9, 10 feed at 11:30. Then she went every 3 hours but I find when she's unsettled at the start of the night, I struggle to catch up. Every time she woke after 12, it felt like I'd only been down for a few mins.
Normally we space out the feeds a bit more, but she's teething and has a rather large bump on her head.

PA You must be exhausted. You are working as well. I find it hard to cope during the day after a hard night.

Thanks LBH, hope you had another great night.

I'm going to post on here again anyway and maybe set up a thread for the over one's if there isn't one

Last night: Didn't sleep until 7 when I fed her (and also when I got in). Normally she goes down at 5 without 5, but she had a nap too close to bedtime. Then no waking until 10, but had to feed (while she's teething she's unsettlable and then no feed until 2:15. However she woke at 3:30 and cried until I fed her at 4:30. Sleep until 6 when DH got up with her and I dragged myself up at 6:30.

God PA, you deserve a rest. DD slept through till 6.15 this morning, I am not going to get too excited as she will do the odd random one off. But I do feel different for not getting out of bed in the night. Whether it is once or 5 times, the unbroken sleep in the small hours is a killer. Makes me tearful, miserable and very short tempered whereas normally I am an easy going type. Or at least I used to be. It also feeds my anxiety issues.

Teething or not, it sounds like she is using you as a prop. I BF dd till my body gave up at 6 months. Since about 7 months I stopped feeding in the night. I would think that as your DD is on solids she doesnt really need the milk. Although, as she is dinky I am guessing you dont want to drop her calorie intake? I can empathise if that is the case as my DD is a little dinky at 20lbs.

DD is being a pain right now...wont go to sleep! Settles in seconds for my CM. Typical eh?!