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Original poster

17wk old - Chewing hands and crying most of the night

93 replies

Jasmum · 22/10/2005 16:24

This sounds so obvious I know - must be teething you;d think. well, how long can it go on for. He's not fed inthe night and I'm convinced he's not hungry. Started weaning at 16wks to eliminate this. 5 good milk feeds a day & 2 'meals'. I've given him calpol, medised and it makes no difference. He chews so hard and sucks that it wakes him up. He can cry for 2-3 hours. I've rocked him, patted him, used controlled crying, ignored him, given medicene. I don;t know what to do anymore & I am so tired, feeling depressed and miserable. As his awake int he night for a couple of hours he's tired in the day and I spend most of the time carrying him around and stalling him until his next sleep/feed.
Any words of imspiration or wisdom please?

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startingtobehalloweenylover · 22/10/2005 21:44

sure.. i can understand IBS totally... but surely obesity is more to do with the mind-set of the parents?
I don't get how early weaning can lead to obesity...

hunkerpumpkin · 22/10/2005 21:44

Thing is, once you've done it, you can't imagine not doing it like that - so many people say "Oh, my son would never have waited until six months for food!" like it made him more advanced or better somehow. Weird!

startingtobehalloweenylover · 22/10/2005 21:47

i have to say... all the issues taht led to me weaning ds early WERE solved by it!

NotQuiteCockney · 22/10/2005 21:48

Um, STBHL, research isn't about understanding how X causes Y, it's just about seeing an association. I can make a guess though: when you wean early, you're essentially force-feeding. The baby isn't feeding themselves. So the baby loses the ability to follow their own hunger and fullness cues, and learns that them eating makes you happy, so they use food as an emotional crutch.

As with everything else, early weaning does not guarantee obesity (I should know - both DH and I are somewhat overweight, DS1 was weaned at 16 weeks, and he is thin.) and of course there are many factors.

hunkerpumpkin · 22/10/2005 21:48

SL...all the issues that meant I could've weaned DS early were solved by feeding him milk more often

Babies often have a mammoth growth spurt at the very time when solids are suggested by mental HVs. Feed them more milk and they settle. Feed them solids and...they settle. Because they were going to anyway

NotQuiteCockney · 22/10/2005 21:50

It's become very much ingrained here, that babies need food early. Are they chewing on their hands? (Yes! What baby isn't!) Are they interested in your food? (Yes! My baby is also interested in my newspaper, it doesn't mean he's ready to read!) Oh, you should give them some food, then.

In lots of other countries, early weaning isn't normal (e.g.: Italy, Canada, the US, Russia), and oddly enough, their babies manage just fine. I have met a woman whose son refused solids until 14 months (exclusively breastfed to that point). He seemed fine.

startingtobehalloweenylover · 22/10/2005 21:52

but are 4 month old babies capable of making that distinction NQC? and if so surely that can be reversed in an older child by ensuring that they do not overeat and giving them a healthy diet?

maybe i am getting in too deep here, but PERHAPS the majority of obese kids come from a more deprived/uneducated background where early weaning on HV's advice is the "norm"

or maybe not!

Hunker... ds would not take more milk. if he did he would puke the whole lot back again. tried giving feeds more often but wouldn't have them and was totally miserable in between!

hunkerpumpkin · 22/10/2005 22:03

SL, I think it could be to do with the fact that bottlefeeding is seen as the norm in this country - so many times I was asked how many ounces of milk DS was having as if it was a competition.

Obv I had no idea - he fed till he was full. But I think one of the oft-touted "benefits" of bottlefeeding (that you can see how much they're getting) can often be a drawback and has led to a whole new culture of expecting children to eat a certain amount.

Coupled with the "clean plates must be seen at mealtimes" mindset all too common in this country - after all, there's a war on, think of those poor starving children in Africa, if you don't eat it at breakfast, you'll see it at every mealtime till you do eat it, etc, etc - and no wonder people don't know when they're full these days!

startingtobehalloweenylover · 22/10/2005 22:08

yes... i know what you mean, as i say though that's more to do with parents mind-set than physical effects of feeding though

i do feel quite proud of myself for demand feeding ds with formula after we stopped breastfeeding. he has always taken what he wanted when he wanted...
it IS easy to get sucked into trying to make them finish a bottle because that's what the side of the milk packet says though

someone at our bumps and babes group was told by her HV taht her 3 week old daughter ought to be taking 5oz at a time by now! ds was only on that at 5 months! lol
I told her to carry on feeding her however much she wanted though

startingtobehalloweenylover · 22/10/2005 22:09

have to say i did find it difficult when i started breastfeeding because he had been on formula or expressed milk before then and i was so scared he wasn't getting enough!

do you know... this might be the first early weaning thread that has stayed as a civilised conversation/debate! well done us!

hunkerpumpkin · 22/10/2005 22:41

I know - pretty impressive, SL!

Mind you, I haven't mentioned spoons yet - it could all go pear-shaped still

colditz · 22/10/2005 22:51

here's a distressing piece of information - one of my friends is convinced that bayrice3 will cure her 10 week old baby's reflux. I have begged her not to do it, told her it will make him worse, and her answer?

I did it with my first and he's fine!

No he's not, actually. He has an egg allergy, asthma, hayfever, exzema, and has had glue ear.

I'm not saying hideously early weaning caused this, just that if I were her, I would not be trying to replicate the level of 'fineness' in my second child.

For the record, I weaned my 2.5 year old at 16 weeks, because the health visitor told me to. She said his speech wouldn't develope if I didn't. Most eople do do what their health visitor says, until you realise how misinformed they are. You don't automatically assume they are misinformed.

hunkerpumpkin · 22/10/2005 22:52

Colditz

As for the speech thing - I've yet to meet a HV who can explain how feeding a baby purees months before they will say their first word will help them speak. They just spout utter drivel so often!

screwyslittlegoblins · 22/10/2005 22:56

Just had a quick glance at a few of the posts on here so may not have the whole picture but am I right in that its apparently now wrong to feed solids to 16 week old babies???

hunkerpumpkin · 22/10/2005 22:57

SLG, the current advice from the Government (and what the WHO have been saying for years) is that six months is better.

Normsnockers · 22/10/2005 22:58

Message withdrawn

screwyslittlegoblins · 22/10/2005 23:07

Every child is individual and different and what works for one won't work for another.

What is suppose to happen biologically to your child if you feed them at 16 weeks that won't happen at 6 months.
That really pees me off!!! just when you think you did something well they move the goal posts....well bollocks to them. Am off to have a gander to find out more on this

Normsnockers · 22/10/2005 23:09

Message withdrawn

colditz · 22/10/2005 23:09

I half expected the HV to come round aand say

"You know that thing I told you you absolutly must do or you are a crap mum? Well don't do it, or you are a crap mum"

colditz · 22/10/2005 23:10

Yes I have heard the Weetabix it fab line.

Yeah, well, so is porridge.

hunkerpumpkin · 22/10/2005 23:10

NN, sorry to hear re the wine - hope there was some left in the bottle!

I definitely don't bang on about when DS had food in RL, nor that I breastfed him till he self-weaned at nearly 17mo, nor that I did all this because it made my life easier, not because I wanted to follow guidelines. Btw, the WHO recommends that children breastfeed until they're at least two, but DS didn't understand that

My HV asked me when he was younger than 5 months how much food he was having - I said none and she was amazed. After that, I got lots of "do you feel breastfeeding's going well" and "does he take a bottle?" comments, with unsolicited suggestions about how to get him to.

I do think there is a lot of pressure on women today, fullstop - whether they breastfeed, bottlefeed, wean early, wait till later to wean, return to work, atay at home, whatever. I know my choices are right for me - and if somebody's struggling, as the OP on this thread was, I'm happy to share my experiences and the reasons behind them.

hunkerpumpkin · 22/10/2005 23:11

Yes, HV suggested Weetabix to me too. Are they in a sponsorship deal?!

screwyslittlegoblins · 22/10/2005 23:12

Hey found who leaflet its not 6 months and no solids before in respect to meat and heavy things like that but baby rice/cereals etc...fine

screwyslittlegoblins · 22/10/2005 23:14

I'm sticking with that trust paediatrics more than stuffy men from WHO who probably don't even change their babies nappies

screwyslittlegoblins · 22/10/2005 23:21

talk about contradicting information

Mine were weaned at 16 weeks and they are fine.

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