OK so the early waking thing...well he's 4 years old now and I'm getting mighty sick of it

[katierocket]

DS has always always been an earlier waker but having just had his 4th birthday I am getting very fed up with regular 5.30 starts. Sometimes it is 6 or 6.15 but this morning was 5am.

He's got a bunny clock, we've tried sticker charts. It makes no difference what time he goes to bed i.e. if he goes to bed at 7 he wakes up early and if he goes to bed later he still wakes up early but is just more grumpy.

If anyone has a magic cure or at least some suggestions of what could help I will gladly sell you my soul. Or even if someone can say "heh, give it one more year and when he starts reception he'll you'll be dragging him out of bed in the morning...."

I know this is dull but I am desperate. heeeeeelp

will he play happily until a decent hour or does he have to have the whole house up with him?

thank you yowling - for answering my desperate pleas for help. He is just starting to be able to play in his room but he still wakes us up first.

Do I just go with then but say, "ok if you wake up fine but don't wake us up until bunny clock wakes up"?

Don't think you can make him sleep any longer than he wants but the trick is to deal with him when he's awake.

I started by each night after him going to bed, I would take a different toy to his bedroom, maybe a jigsaw, his car garage anything really, so when he woke, it was there set up for him to play with, a different one each morning.

Along with this I told him to play with his toys until I got up and came to him. This worked for me. As he got older he just realised his routine was to wake and play in his room until mum got up. He adapted to it just like any other routine I suppose.

When he got to about 6/7 years the new routine was that as soon as his clock said 7 am he could go downstairs and watch some TV until I got up. The fact I trusted him to do this gave him the confidence and impetus to behave, gawd bless him!!

I've done the same with my daughter and the added bonus is they have each other to play with until their old mother can drag herself out of bed!!

At aged 6 and 8 I now have to drag them from their pits at 8am, so yes when they start to tire at school etc, they will like their beds more. You have a light at the end of the tunnel!

katierocket, I can really sympathise with you. My dd has always been a bad sleeper and an early bird so 5.30am starts are quite familiar to me. Like you I have tried moving bedtime later but it just doesn't work.
She started reception a few weeks ago and all I can say is that I have seen some improvement - waking times are now more between 6 and 6.30am which doesn't seem quite so bad.
Hang on in there - it will get better.
Cookie x

thank you emmaton, really interesting. Do you think some children are just naturally early wakers then?

indeed cookie, sometimes after 6am and I can kid myself it's morning (just) but before and it's still night time as far as I am concerned.

One mother at his nursery school was telling me how she's had to wake her 4 year old up to get him to school every morning

came back to check thread and there has been lots of posts pretty much saying what I was going to, encourage him to play on his own and use bunny clock as his cue that you can be woken too.

Some kids are natural early risers, but I have always played the grumpy mummy card. IF EVER my kids dared to work up THAT early I would have gone ballistic at them (sorry) and refused to get up

My kids have been taught that they wake mummy up on pain of death and at weekends they leave us as late as possible.

Sorry I am not helping much, I cannot imagine how you feel I would be half dead

crunchie - believe me I am the vilest woman on this planet at that time. That's probably why DS usually goes to his dad first. I think he can't actually help it, maybe letting him play in his room is the best approach.

yes I think training them to play in their room is a good idea - I might give that a go myself in fact.
I loathe those mothers who tell me their child not only sleeps till 8am but sleeps all the way through the night as well ... I not only have early waking to contend with, but she rarely sleeps straight through without waking at least once.

Hmm, is it anything to do with needing the toilet perhaps?

My dt's were in nappies at night (not daytime too)until nearly 4. I think they could've come out of them earlier, but it I wasn't looking for extra work with wet beds, so I let them tell me when they were ready. They said they were ready just as they turned 4 and have been wonderfully dry - but...they wake up early needing the toilet. They troop in to tell me all about it and by the time it's all sorted they don't want to go back to sleep. Because they're waking early, they begin to flag late afternoon (and so do I).

I'm not sure what the answer is really, but that's the cause of early wake ups here.

Sympathies. At least mine keep each other amused, we do tell them to go back to their room but you can hear the noise level rising. Could you leave a different toy or some books and pencils in his room before you go to bed so there is something different to look at for an hour when he wakes up? Perhaps keep a box of special toys for this purpose and don't let him play with them any other time, so he doesn't get bored with them. Just put a different one in his room as you go to bed and hopefully it'll hold his attention for an hour or two when he wakes up until the bunny clock goes off. Choose something like lego or cars that he can get stuck into. Sounds a long shot I know...

Oh dear I seem to have repeated Emmatom's suggestion. Whoops, sorry! Still, sounds like it might be worth a try Good luck! In a few more years we won't be able to get them up till midday...

I also taught my kids how to turn on the TV downstairs and forage for food This morning dd (aged 4) wanted to get dressed as she got new boots yesterday, so she got up had a cuddle with me (it was 7.30 sorry) got dressed (I had to get clothes out) and made her own breakfast YAY RESULT. I came downstairs afetr my shower to see her with marmite flavoured rice cakes and honey (UGGH) she refused help so I went to get me and DD1 dressed, while she sat at the kitchen table and ate her breakfast. She creased me up TBH as she then brushed her teeth, turned on the TV and was ready to go to school by 8.10!! all by herself

I work on the ignore your children and they will find food/entertianment where possible and it is slowly working. People ask if I'll have another child - sod that I am FAR too selfish and if my kid can get their own breakfast who want to go backwards

Tinygang, could you just tell your little ones they can go to the toilet and go back to their rooms, and you'll get the update later.

I'm a great believer in telling the child and sticking with it for a bit. Like I mentioned before these sort of routines are only like other routines that they learn and a rested mum is much better than a crotchety old moo!

Sympathies katie rocket ...
My DS was always an early waker from the word go ... and a crap sleeper.
I think that before his 5th birthday I could count on one hand how many times he slept until the regulation magic 7am and I don't believe he has EVER slept for 12 hours like children are supposed to (well, according to all those books anyway!).
School has been the answer for us. We did sticker charts and rewards, we had a bunny clock, we had toys ready for him to play with ... but nothing worked in the long term (the novelty of stickers etc would give us a reprieve for about 2 or 3 weeks then it would be back to square 1!). DS felt that because he is awake we all should be awake ... He is also starving hungry when he wakes up and wants breakfast NOW!
He was about 5 and a half and had been at school for 6 months when we introduced the Pasta Jar. Pieces of dry pasta for good behaviour ... including sleeping all night and playing nicely in his room when he wakes up not waking us all up. 1 piece of pasta = 10cents and after a week we count up his pocket money ... he loves it.
The rule is that he is not allowed up until he hears me get in the shower (6.30am) and then he is allowed to put his light on and play until one of us comes to get him for breakfast.
This has been going on for about 2 months now and is finally working ... he is sleeping longer AND is keeping up his side of the bargain ....
School has tired him out ... physically and mentally and he seems to need more sleep finally. Still not 12 hours but he is doing about 11 which is great.
The great thing is that for the last 2 months he has actually slept past 7am at least twice a week ... the downside is that it NEVER seems to be at the weekend ... tends to be a Wednesday and Thursday morning ... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

What is a bunny clock? Had a similar problem with my DS, he is 3 years old. Does your boy have favourite tv show? Mine did, and so I told him if he woke every one up to early he wouldn't get to watch his fave tv show. It worked, but I also put things in his room for him to occupy himself with if he really could not go back to sleep.

My ds has been an early riser since birth. It is now improving a bit now hes 6 (generally 10 to 7 in the mornings, which is ok-ish during the week, but too early at weekends).

But I work on the basis that you can't make a child sleep, so he is allowed to get himself up and come down to watch telly, and now can get his own breakfast (banana and cereal, or bluberry muffin with cheese). We leave him milkshake in an anyway-up-cup in the fridge.
If we try and make him stay upstairs, he just keeps yelling "is it time to get up yet?" at 3 minute intervals until we all get angry and tired.

Thanks emmatom Yes, we do try but because it's a very recent achievement (ie being dry all night) they want to share the news.

I must admit they are getting better at going back to their room though so hopefully they won't feel the need to broadcast to the nation on this for much longer. Actually, I think I might follow my own (and your!) advice with the toys too.

'Crotchety old moo' fits me very well as a description though, especially at 6am.

thanks everyone.
Hi ghosty! crikey sounds like your DS and mine could be twins. Mine has always been a bad sleeper, he was 8 months before he slept through the night and that was the first time, it was months after that that it became a regular thing (and he was still getting up at 5.30 ish).

Ironically we went on holiday with SIL and BIL who have a 4 month old that sleeps from 7pm to 7am, they really have no clue how lucky there are. DS was up before the baby!

Heh ho, I might try the idea of him playing on his own quietly but I can just seem that might cause him to wake up even earlier at the excitement of the thought of it IFYKWIM

Role on reception....

katierocket, you have my sympathy. My ds (6) is like this too. However, since he was about 4 I have a routine where I quickly take him downstairs put the tv on CBeebies or a long running video if it is before CBeebies starts, give him some milk and then tell him it is too early for mummy to get up and I go back to bed until dd wakes up at a more normal time of 6.30/7am.
Before he was 4, I temporarily moved a tv into my bedroom and would put it on and have him in bed beside me, while I went back to sleep.
Anything before 6am is just so grim, I hate it - being naturally an owl myself.
DS is now in his second year at school and it has made only a tiny difference in that he rarely wakes up before 6am now, but he is always up before 6.30pm
Good luck

like it bugsy

I might be just repeating what others have said -but if it is the problem of you having to get up with him (possibily nothing you can do about the time he wakes) then tell him that until say 6.30/7.00 he has to play on his own.

Whenever my dd (also 4) comes into our room before 7.00 I tell her that she can either get in bed with us and be quiet or I take her into her room put a low-light on and get some books/jigsaw for her. I've done this since she was about 3 and she has leart to entertain herself for half an hour or so. She now understand that just because she is up it doesn't mean the rest of us have to be up too. I have to add this isn't every morning she usually gets up about 7am....sorry! When she does get up early it is usually because she want to go to the toilet - could this be the case for your DS?

This might sound harsh but perhaps he just needs to learn that you don't get up just because he does.

kr my ds1 has been going down staris alone since he was 4

I don't think that does sound harsh cardy, he is (as yet) our only child so I guess I never thought of it that way, I just assumed one of us has to be up with him. He can turn the alarm off but can't open the living room door (door handle too high).

What time do yours get up cod?