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Sleep

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Original poster

OK so the early waking thing...well he's 4 years old now and I'm getting mighty sick of it

131 replies

katierocket · 13/10/2005 09:32

DS has always always been an earlier waker but having just had his 4th birthday I am getting very fed up with regular 5.30 starts. Sometimes it is 6 or 6.15 but this morning was 5am.

He's got a bunny clock, we've tried sticker charts. It makes no difference what time he goes to bed i.e. if he goes to bed at 7 he wakes up early and if he goes to bed later he still wakes up early but is just more grumpy.

If anyone has a magic cure or at least some suggestions of what could help I will gladly sell you my soul. Or even if someone can say "heh, give it one more year and when he starts reception he'll you'll be dragging him out of bed in the morning...."

OP posts:
codface · 13/10/2005 14:05

ds1 used to eb ( till he started JUniors) about 6

ds2 sleeps in more till 7 ush

they both will go down stairs with ds3 and play wiht hima dn put his littel slippers on!!

Original poster
katierocket · 13/10/2005 14:05

excellent

OP posts:
crunchie · 13/10/2005 14:57

OK ks, leave the living room door ajar and teach him to turn the TV on himself

Soon he'll be making you breakfast in bed

I have the firm belief if they can use a PC at school they can use a remote control on the tv. Also you could leave one box of cereal out for him (get stuff that doesn't need milk like cherrios/shreddies etc) and he can get his own bfast (see my lowever post about dd getting her won Bfast) I do find IMHO that the more responsibility I give my kids the better they behave!!

But then I have girls and they differ so much from boys!!

codface · 13/10/2005 16:39

yes kr ds wont belive his luk

cardy · 13/10/2005 19:42

Let us know how you get on katierocket.

Bozza · 13/10/2005 20:00

kr - my DS uses a chair/step (you know the kind they have for the toilet when they are smaller0 to turn on the lights although he can reach the door handle.

All these posts are about you getting more sleep. Can we assume that your DS is OK and getting enough sleep if he goes to be at 7 and wakes up at that time. I think I am a bit like crunchie. DS goes to bed at 7.30 and is not allowed to get up until 7 when his timer light comes on. If he needs to go to the loo he has a torch by his bed which he uses to find his way to the toilet, then he has to go back to bed. Now DS needs his sleep and this rule was introduced when we had light mornings and he was getting confused about the time. You could try an alternative arrangement playing in bedroom as others as said. Once DD gets a bit older (she's only 1) I think I will introduce the playing thing at weekends.

DS used to sleep 7.30 to 7 but now he is in reception he is infinitely more tired and we are finding it hard to fit in all the sleep he needs. He is often over tired and grumpy.

Original poster
katierocket · 14/10/2005 10:20

well Bozza the answer is no I'm not convinced he is getting enough sleep but once he is awake it seems virtually impossible to get him to go back to sleep (he has a very active mind). After 4 years of trying and trying to get him to sleep longer I've kind of given up and it is really interesting to hear these different approachs, I'd honestly never really thought about the fact that just because he's up we don't need to be up too.

OP posts:
crunchie · 14/10/2005 13:03

Now he is 4 he could be ready for the extra responsibility. Only you know your child though.

Good luck, I hope it helps

ssd · 14/10/2005 13:17

my ds2 is 4 and 1/2 and gets up around 6-6.30. Hellish.
Ds2 is 7 and 1/2, went to sleep at 10 got up 7.15.
Both as crabbit as sin.

I need a magic wand too.

Tommy · 17/10/2005 06:20

have just found this thread - bloody half past five this morning
My DS will play in his room but seems unable to do so quietly and can't go back to sleep while he is awake upstairs. He also wakes his little brother up. This is not too bad as DS2 can catch up later in the day but DS1 is completely exhausted all the time. He went to a bouncy castle party yesterday afternoon and I really though he would have a bit of a sleep in but he didn't!
He needs more sleep and is fine about going to bed and sleep but just wakes up too early

pinotgrigio · 17/10/2005 07:06

Oh KR, that's us too. I completely and utterly sympathise. I'm praying that there is an end to our early waking. DD gets me up at 5.30 every morning. She's 3 in December. It doesn't matter what we do at bedtime, she always wakes up at the same time.

I've just had to drop her daytime nap to get her to go to sleep in the evening and I'd really hoped that losing that precious nap would mean she'd sleep in a bit. No chance.

It's killing me TBH. DP has never got up with her and I work full time, so there's no respite.

I caught myself falling asleep on the mat during the warm up in my exercise class last week (we were supposed to be doing press-ups).

Please let us know if you find an answer! I'm going to see if the bunny clock will work for us, but DD is incapable of being alone, so I'm not going to hold my breath.

emmatom · 17/10/2005 13:28

Pinotgrigio, at the risk of being lambasted by some people, although a lot of us have talked on here about taking toys to their rooms to play with on waking, as you sound so desperate, have you considered putting a tv/video in her room.

Would she wake and press 'play', just to give you an extra hour and a bit?

If it's any concillation, things really will get better as they get older.

Original poster
katierocket · 17/10/2005 13:51

pinotgrigo you have my complete sympathy. It's a bit off your DH never doing morning duty. The last few days for us have all been around the 5.45am mark but taking into account everyones advice we told him that if he really couldn't go back to sleep he could play in his room quietly until we come to get him. Anyway yesterday and this morning he was dressed and just standing in his room, I felt really sorry for him because I know it's not his fault that he wakes up early and he knows we don't like it so he was up and dressed and just kind of waiting for us to come and get him.

I swear that when he is a teenager I will never ever shout at him to get out of bed in the morning.

OP posts:
crunchie · 17/10/2005 14:09

KR, at least he is getting up and getting dressed, leaving you to it. Could he be trusted to go downstairs and turn on the TV?

pinotgrigio · 18/10/2005 03:50

Thanks ET & KR. Just the sympathy helps. I didn't mean to sound quite so desperate, although I probably am.

I'm starting a sleep and food diary and I'm going to see my GP. I'm worried about her not getting enough sleep. She's a nightmare to settle in the evening too, last night took 2 hours even though she'd been up since 5.30 and refused a nap.

KR - aw, poor little thing standing in his room. Do you think he'll get used to it and start to play if you persevere?

EmmaT - Do you know, I think she would. I think she would be in heaven if I did that. I always swore that she would never be allowed a tv in her room. What a dilemma. She adores DVDs and it takes all of my efforts to stop her watching them all day.

MrsMiggins · 19/10/2005 17:01

my DS wakes early - bought him a bedside light with one of those long cords so he can turn it on himself. Told him he could play so long as not too noisy & didnt come out of his room til he heard one of us make a noise....seems to work - could be just lucky.
You could try the pasta reward idea - see another thread (cant do links but think its on the home page)
good luck !!

pinotgrigio · 20/10/2005 04:37

How old is he MrsM?

My DD is now getting me up at 5am instead of 5.30.

My fingers are starting to twitch in the direction of the phenergan bottle....

bloss · 20/10/2005 04:59

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bloss · 20/10/2005 05:01

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pinotgrigio · 20/10/2005 06:10

Great ideas bloss. DD has a nightlight but it's really bright, so I sneak in and turn it off before I go to bed and let the hall light make her room less dark.

I was planning to get a much less bright one to see if it would help her settle at night. I think if I had at least a break in the evening the 5am starts wouldn't be quite so horrific.

I think I will definitely try the timer thing. She does need a signal to tell her when it is acceptable to come and find me. Not sure if the light would work though if she already has a light on. Maybe if the other light isn't as bright as it currently is it will. Hmmmm.

She's very hard to train though. At bedtime I've been doing the 'pick up, no interaction, replace in room, say firmly bedtime' for months and she still comes out of her room repeatedly. She thinks its hysterically funny (which drives me to teeth grinding eye popping supressed fury after 2 hours). Now have to resort to holding the door shut while she has a door-kicking screaming tantrum for 15 minutes and collapses exhausted into bed.

And to think that I thought the birth would be the worst bit.

/manic laughter/

bloss · 20/10/2005 06:49

Message withdrawn

Original poster
katierocket · 20/10/2005 07:04

I think it's doubly hard for you pinot because you have the bedtime problems too. By 7pm DS is so exhausted because he's been up since 5.30 or whatever that he just zonks out.

We've had a couple of mornings were DS has played by himself but I'm still in two minds about giving him the message that it's OK to get up and play at 5.15 or 5.30 when he's clearly not had enough sleep. Still as lots of posters point out, you can't force them to go back to sleep. I do feel terrible though when I see him going into nursery school in the morning looking knackered.
What the hell are we going to do when the clocks go back.....

OP posts:
pinotgrigio · 21/10/2005 02:33

Hi Bloss,

You're right (and no, I'm really not offended, I'm grateful for the help!), we've not been 100% consistent, but mainly because we've been in different houses/countries. What has been consistent is the routine:

Wind-down DVD
Warnings thoughout that bedtime will be at the end.
DD turns off tv and goes to her room.
Into bed & two books of her choice. Warnings that there are 2 books & its sleeptime at the end of the books
Then kiss, cuddle and I leave the room.

From that point on she'll come bouncing out every 2 minutes. I've consistently replaced her in the room, with the minimum of interaction. Even grumpy mummy saying 'bedtime' is attention enough for her I think.

On the plus side I've solved some other problems - she doesn't wake up in the night and come to my bed anymore, and she also has stopped asking to go to bed in my bed.

I think I may just have to get really firm, put something across the door to keep her in and then just ignore her. I think any attention is enough for her and ignoring is going to be the only way.

Then all I have to do is fix the 5am starts, and we're there!!

MrsMiggins · 21/10/2005 11:30

hi pinot
DS is 3 1/2 but bought the bedside light when DD was born so DS was 2yrs old.
He likes to be grown up so having his own light is nice for him.

the funniest thing now is that Ive told him he cant come out of his room til he hears us moving around
now he puts his bedside light outside his bedroom door so we know hes awake & dont creep downstairs without him
bless

pinotgrigio · 21/10/2005 12:01

Aw MrsM, that's so cute! Bless him.