Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Worth starting with a dummy at 4.5 months?

41 replies

Bumperrlicious · 26/01/2011 20:40

Dd2 is a sleep fighter. If we are at home she will usually go down for a morning nap & if that goes well then the rest of the day is usually ok. If not then I spend the whole day trying to get her to sleep & feed properly. It's getting to the point where I'm cancelling morning activities. If we are out in the car she will sleep till we stop, she takes a lot of coaxing to sleep which isn't possible if we are out.

I'm wondering if it is worth trying a dummy at this stage? I'm just so fed up with my days revolving around getting her to sleep. I also have a 3 year old.

Night times aren't too bad. Erratic & waking two or three times but not usually a problem getting down,except sometimes for the first sleep. Would I be mad to introduce a dummy at this stage? Dd1 was addicted to hers and I seem to remember having to get up to replace it in the night, though dh seems to have blocked this out &the horror of weaning her off it and thinks it is a good idea for dd2.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Ooopsadaisy · 26/01/2011 20:43

No no no!

Sorry - it's a very personal thing but I don't like dummies at all and have never used one for my dcs.

Your dd is going through one of those stages that feel like the end of the world at the time but in the big scheme of things are over suddenly and forgotten.

Personally, I wouldn't do it.

Chil1234 · 26/01/2011 20:46

You'd probably find that she doesn't like the dummy at this stage but it can't hurt to try. If she's not napping properly and it's messing up the rest of the day then that seems like a good reason to give it a go. BTW I never bothered with weaning DS off the night-time dummy. It didn't seem to affect any other aspect of his life besides bedtime and it just got left behind one day and not used again... No horror involved. :

Original poster

Bumperrlicious · 26/01/2011 20:47

See I'm not against them in principle but I don't want to do anything that's going make things harder.

The sleep thing is getting me down though.

OP posts:

Original poster

Bumperrlicious · 26/01/2011 20:49

Dd1 was hideous with dummy weaning! Is it possible to use a dummy just for naps and not night time?

OP posts:

StartingAfresh · 26/01/2011 20:52

What happens if you don't try to get her to sleep?

I don't understand how we get ourselves into this coaxing stuff and mess around with the babies own instincts. They never needed it when they were in the womb.

lukewarmmama · 26/01/2011 20:52

Is encouraging thumb sucking a possibilty? Probably something that just happens I guess.

Personally I would stick it out, and not have to go through dummy weaning later on. You've got this far....

Chil1234 · 26/01/2011 20:52

We did naps and nights to start with and then it reduced to nights. I'm pretty sure he was still using it when he started school! Never tried just naps, sorry.

Original poster

Bumperrlicious · 26/01/2011 20:58

She just cries and gets crabby & doesn't feed properly when tired. Went to a friend's recently and forgot the sling, she was hysterical for about 3 hours on and off :(

She sucks her hands but seems to find that more distracting and frustrating. She will fall asleep on the breast but usually wakes when I try and move her.

OP posts:

narmada · 26/01/2011 21:25

with you bumper all the way experience-wise. DS has a dummy and has quickly become addicted to it totally for all daytime sleep. he currently does without it for his longish night stretch but i am sure it is only a matter of time before we are replacing it every hour! i have just found it's yet another prop to incorporate into the already laborious process of getting him to go to and stay asleep, tbh. Like your DD, he sucks his hands but seems to find it distracting and frustrating. I am praying that he will learn to properly suck his fingers, and soon.

narmada · 26/01/2011 21:30

startingafresh some babies' instinct is to get so manically wound up without parental intervention that they simply cannot sleep - cue a vicious circle. Chronic lack of sleep makes the body produce fatigue-fighting hormones which act to make it even harder to drop off and stay asleep. the idea that all babies sleep when they need to is nice but misplaced. My first DD slept for about 7 hours in every 24, and that in 45 minute snatches. She was tired, oh yes, but could she sleep??? Nope.

StartingAfresh · 26/01/2011 21:37

'some babies' instinct is to get so manically wound up without parental intervention that they simply cannot sleep - cue a vicious circle.'

If they are completely out of sync with their own regulation of sleep due to interventions and forced-sleeping by adults for usually good intentions then I'd suggest you could be right about the reaction, otherwise nature would be stupid to have evolved in the way you suggest.

'Chronic lack of sleep makes the body produce fatigue-fighting hormones which act to make it even harder to drop off and stay asleep.'

Where did you get that from. How can you tell that a baby is tired as opposed to hungry. From the OP and subsequent posts I'd suggest that the baby needs to eat more and eat more regularly. Baby sounds hungry, which incidently is about the right developmental time for a need to increase calorie intake.

OP why not feed her until she is very sleepy, then switch breast and do the same, and then switch breast again. Do it enough and she'll fall into a deep coma that will mean you can swing her round the living room and she won't wake.

'the idea that all babies sleep when they need to is nice but misplaced. My first DD slept for about 7 hours in every 24, and that in 45 minute snatches. She was tired, oh yes, but could she sleep??? Nope.'

How do you know she was tired and didn't simply need 7 hours? My DS slept for just 8 hours so I believe you for sure. I just don't believe the bit about being tired and not being able to sleep. Tired babies sleep.

pleasethanks · 27/01/2011 09:03

StartingAfresh Some of what you say is total nonsense. Even when my DD is SOUND asleep I could not swing her around the living room without waking (not that I would want to).

Saying tired babies sleep is over simplifying things and totally unhelpful for the OP.

Cosmosis · 27/01/2011 09:10

startingafresh when your baby is yawning and rubbing at their eyes I think it's fairly certain they're tired and not hungry. You have obviously been very lucky and had babies who then just went to sleep, some of us don't.

StartingAfresh · 27/01/2011 09:23

Cosmos You know nothing about my children. Please don't make assumptions.

I would expect a child who is rubbing their eyes and yawning to be tired. I would expect a tired baby unable to go to sleep to have other unmet needs preventing them i.e. hunger usually.

pleasethanks · 27/01/2011 09:29

StartingAfresh Oh if only it was so simple as ensuring your child has a full tummy.

It is well known that when babies get overtired they find it hard to switch off and get to sleep. Thus, if you baby does not nap easily you are in a very vicious cycle. And a full tummy does not sort that out.

narmada · 27/01/2011 09:30

I had a feeling that what you said, startingafresh, might raise some hackles. It sure raised mine - suggesting that the OP and everyone else whose babies don't sleep are simply missing something so obvious as hunger and are just failing to meet their babies' needs is frankly insulting.

Cosmosis · 27/01/2011 09:31

but you are making assumptions about our children! I know when he's tired, and I know when he last fed, the fact is that he cannot get to sleep on his own. He can get to sleep if you go out in the car, or if you go for a walk, or rock him, but if you put him down and leave him to go to sleep he cries and then gets hysterical. It's nothing to do with hunger.

pleasethanks · 27/01/2011 09:33

Also startingafresh you tell cosmos not make assumptions about your children yet in your first post on this thread you make lots of assumptions about the OP's child.

narmada · 27/01/2011 09:34

The development of sleep-wake patterns and sleep organisation is not really connected to hunger and satiety. I bet it's damned unlikely that a hungry baby will sleep, but I also bet most sleep problems are not caused by hunger. My EBF DD1 went from 25th to 75th+ percentile - fed all the time - and her sleep was crap.

StartingAfresh · 27/01/2011 09:38

My assumptions aren't about your children, they are assumptions about nature and evolution. Do apes do shhhh and pat and refuse their babies milk because they have decided they are tired instead? Do they look at the clock and decide that their baby ought to sleep?

Cosmosis · 27/01/2011 09:40

but they probably don't look at their babies yawning and rubbing their eyes and think oh they must be hungry! it's not all about hunger.

pleasethanks · 27/01/2011 09:43

StartingAfresh We are not apes so frankly if that is the argument you are going to use, good luck to you. And who on earth is saying they refuse their child milk because they have decided they are tired?

My child is now a great napper, having been crap before. Her eating is rubbish and always has been. It has not changed since she has become a great napper.

Babies sometimes need encouragment to go to sleep, pure and simple. My DD would have stayed up ALL day without one simple nap (and I am talking from about 2 weeks old) if I had not pointed in her in the right direction. And she is a much happier baby for it.

dearprudence · 27/01/2011 09:43

Dummies are comforting and I have no problem with them. My DS only had one from 6 months.

If it calms her down, why not? As you say, you have a 3 year old to look after as well.

StartingAfresh · 27/01/2011 09:45

How do YOU know that a baby wants to sleep?

What is the difference between a little bit dozy and desperate to nap?

What if the unmet need is simply that the cot is cold and away from people or the warmth of people (bfing is about food but also a lot more)

I think it is quite harsh to decide that a baby needs to sleep based on the clock, your decision, some daft parenting books, or even unfortunately our culture and societies expectations. I think that instincts have been bashed out of us. I mean no harm to anyone on the thread and I realise it may look like it but I'm not preaching, just trying to show an alternative way of looking at things to consider that perhaps things needn't be as difficult and stressful as it can be.

My DS was a nightmare in every way, but I still stand by what I say. Babies know what they want. They are programmed to. If they are crying when you put them to sleep then something isn't right. I would suggest there is more to it than they are simply tired. They may be tired, but they are tired AND something.

StartingAfresh · 27/01/2011 09:46

My baby DID stay up all day without a nap. Some babies are like that. You don't know how happy your baby would have been without a nap.

Flip

1 2