7.5 month old only feeds to sleep- what would YOU do?

[Trillian42]

DD is 7.5 months old. Have previously posted about her sleep problems and still have no solution.

Quick summary because she's a little grumbly here - only feeds to sleep, sleeps in our bed because she 19 out of 20 times wakes on transfer to the cot and needs to be settled again by feeding about 99 times out of a hundred. Is only settle-able (is that not a word? Should be!) by me - cries when my husband tries and the crying escalates until I appear. She wakes at a minimum every 2 hours at night & almost always needs to be fed back to sleep. Sometimes I can cuddle her back to sleep with a soother by lying next to her as if she's feeding.

It's as if she doesn't know how to fall asleep any other way, and I suspect she's relying on the oxytocin to make her drop off. Sometimes she'll close her eyes as if she's trying when she's curled into me and after a little fidgeting will open them, pull out soother and latch on again. If it doesn't work, she'll whine a bit and try again.

We tried parts of the No Cry Sleep Solution but though getting her asleep became easier, it still wasn't in the cot & the "Pull Off" worked fine until I had to move her. She proceeded to get unsleepy very quickly. Our routine was destroyed over Christmas - spending time with the grandparents without a cot, and then there was an issue with leaks in our house and we had to stay for a fortnight in a house without a cot again.

I'm back to work in a week & honestly can't imagine 9 hours in front of a computer without passing out on the keyboard.

My biggest issue is the bed - I'd live with the frequent wake ups if we could settle her in the cot. I'm also on a knife edge when she naps in case she wakes and I don't hear her and she decides to dive off the bed!

So would you...

1. Wait it out - this too shall pass
2. Try 'No Cry' again
3. Try Controlled Crying (gulp!)
4. Try Pick Up, Put Down (Tried this a bit before but gave up after 20 mins as she didn't calm when I did pick her up towards the end of the 20mins)
5. Hire a sleep trainer who comes out for a couple of nights (expensive, but know one with great recommendations. Can't really afford it though, and by really, I mean at all.)
6. Use Mill Pond or another online/telephone consultation.
7. None of the above.

We've dedicated this weekend to trying to resolve the sleep issue (last weekend was the trying to get her to take a bottle issue which we did resolve :))

PS How do you know if a baby releases tension by crying? I know that's why some people suggest controlled crying doesn't work for some babies, but I've honestly no idea. If she starts crying it gets worse and worse unless I calm her. Does that mean she doesn't release tension.

Whew, epic post despite trying to keep it short. Any suggestions most welcome.

Oh Trillian your poor DD and you and DH too! I hope it doesn't last much longer!

Hi PassionKiss. There seem to be so many of us with similar problems!

I'm not over ambitious. My issue at the moment is trying to get her to go to sleep, full stop. If we want any time in the evening without one of us holding her that means she has to go in her cot. It makes no odds when we're in bed - it's a bedside cot - but I would like a night where I don't have to physically hold her.

I also thing PUPD causes more problems than it solves with DD.

i've just got my 12 month old to start sleeping through (or close enough to it for me to be able to function at work). i sort of did no cry sleep solution.

i just wondered if you'd looked at what you were doing during the day (sorry if you've said, i haven't read the whole thread) because i think that was what made it work for us. two things in particular: first, upping his solids - three proper meals plus snacks - so he wasn't hungry at night (i couldn't bring myself not to feed him when i could hear his tummy rumbling at 4am). second, having a bit more of a routine with set nap times and mealtimes (which meant he wasn't too tired/hungry to eat properly so contributed to the goal of getting him to eat more). i'm not really a routine person - until now our only set point has been bedtime - and it is a bit annoying having to be home for tea at 5 and so on, but it does seem to have worked.

hope you have a better night tonight!

We were having a good night until DH decided to stomp around the house like an elephant. I am so cross! He needs the toilet, fair enough, but for goodness sake, go quietly! What annoys me even more is I'm now dealing with the consequences while he is already snoring next door! Gggggrrrrrr!

Guacamole - take DS in and hand him over to DH - he who wakes him deals with it! Grrr Sounds like it was going well though!

Trillian - sorry about DD hope she is better soon!

Gaelic - how did DD get to be 7 months already I can't believe it!! Tell her Aunty Chippy says she's to be a good girl for her Mummy and sleep!!

Trillian - hope you're all feeling better today!

DD spent the second night entirely in her cot

And for the first time ever - DH put her to bed without me! I went out, expecting to come home to find DH and DD both up (having been absolutely convinced that I am the only person who can put her to bed because of breast feeding), but instead I came back to a quiet house, apparently she had a bottle and then went down without protest at 6.30!!

DH had had a curry and a beer and watched a whole film uninterrupted!

To be honest I feel like a bit of a mug for suffering the hourly wake ups for so long!

She then woke at 11pm - had a good BF
3.30am - same
7.30am - up for the day.

There was some crying in between these times but very half hearted and I could hear that she was settling back down on her own. Each time lasted 10 minutes or so.

Hhhhhhooooooooorrrraaaayyy! Last night DS slept from 7pm to 6am, without waking at all (or if he did, we didn't hear him!) I can't believe it!

"To be honest I feel like a bit of a mug for suffering the hourly wake ups for so long! "

Passionkiss I feel the same, but my DSIL said that he might not have been 'mature' enough if we had started this earlier and I think she has a point.

Gaucamole congrats

Yes, your DSIL may have a point there - I think DD has definitely moved into a new phase, she seems to have naturally grown out of feeding to sleep for example. So maybe now (9 months) was the right time for us to try this.

Anyway - another good night here!

6.45 - 12.30 (nearly 6 hours)
Quick BF, then back down with no protest.
Wake up at 3am
Quick BF, then back down with no protest.
A little bit of crying at about 5am ish - which I ignored.
Up for the day at 7.30am.

I know that's still two feeds in the night but I am happy with that - this time last week she was still up every hour! And the main thing is her spending the whole night in her cot - which is such a relief.

I'm liking what I'm reading. Well done Guacamole! 2 months to go for us... maybe... (fingers crossed).

Congrats PassionKiss too!

He's not slept through tonight (hope it wasn't a one off) but it's not been bad... He woke at 9pm and I attributed that to still being hungry and fed him. He's awake now and has been for 15mins, but I'm sat beside his cot and he's happy enough and looks like he may nod off again soon.
What I will say is that we are both so much happier... I really couldn't go back to feeding him to sleep, especially in my bed because I got know sleep and was beginning to hate breastfeeding.

Trillian is your DD any better?

Hello all,

A bit of a zombie here - DD has a chest & ear infection so she started antibiotics today. :( Sleep is really bad with the coughing & stuffy nose, but I'm still taking comfort from the fact that things are getting better for most of you! I wonder if we should wait until she gets to 9 months before trying again - it seems to be a good time by the reports here.

Keep the updates coming!

Aaawwww the poor thing. I would definitely wait until she's 100% better... I can't imagine you'll have any success if she's still under the weather.

Hey ladies - just to say DD slept through (7.30pm - 6am) for the first time ever!

Can't believe that a week ago I was feeding her every hour and taking her into my bed!

I tried PUPD, I read No Cry Sleep Solution and tried the techniques. The only thing that worked was leaving her to cry herself to sleep. I went in and checked on her, picked her up and fed her if she wanted it, but I kept on putting her back down awake in her cot and left her for at least 15 minutes before I went back. We only had one bad night on the first night. I think she really needed to learn to self-settle and that was the only way.

Good luck to anyone who's still struggling!

Passionkiss that's brilliant! DS has slept through twice now, he has a cold now though so I doubt he will sleep through until he's feeling better. But like you I am relieved to not be feeding him throughout the night, although I miss our cosleeping mornings, I used to have to bring him into our bed at 4am just to get a tiny bit of sleep.