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Sleep

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Original poster

If you did PU/PD

64 replies

Cosmosis · 10/01/2011 11:44

did it work, and how quickly? what age did you do it?

DS is 18 weeks and feeds to sleep for pretty much all his sleeps (unless we are out in car/pram basically). Occassionally in the night he will go back to sleep on his own, so I don't automatically pick him up whenever he wakes. I think I need to get him to self settle more though as he is waking ridiculously often and not always for hunger.

Please tell me it will work and will not be horrendous

OP posts:

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katiecubs · 10/01/2011 12:32

am doing it currently and seems to be getting easier! been doing it for a week or so now and we are down to between 0-3 PU/PD's before DS is asleep, only ever took about 5 or so!

CountBapula · 10/01/2011 13:38

Can someone explain how it works? I've got the Baby Whisperer book but still don't really 'get it'. Do you just plonk them down awake and wait for them to start crying? Would like to try it but worried DS will work himself into a frenzy ... Are you doing it for naps too, katie?

katiecubs · 10/01/2011 17:45

Count am doing it only for naps actually - at bedtime DS settles himself just fine?!

Basically you just pick them up and comfort them when they start crying and as soon as they stop lay them back down and repeat. If i put him down at first and he is not crying (usually he starts crying when i put him in his sleeping bag) then i would just say sleep tight and leave and come back again if he starts crying - which is always at the minute.

Usually after a few times DS tires out and the crying starts to wind down and often then i will just shh him in his cot whilst holding his hands which he seems to like.

Original poster

Cosmosis · 11/01/2011 08:56

What I'm worried about is that DS would just cry himself to sleep in my arms (which he has been known to do before!) which would kind of defeat the object really? But I need to do something as I am going mad. I think I'll give it a go. Looking at the wonder weeks, the 4mnth sleep regression is usually over by week 19 and a bit, and he's 18 weeks now, so I may try in a couple of weeks.

OP posts:

CountBapula · 11/01/2011 10:37

Thanks katie, glad to hear it's working.

Cosmosis, I'm also worried that DS would just go mental. But am sufficiently desperate to give it a go. Will you let me know how you get on? Agree not much point trying it during sleep regression. DS is 15wks now, but was 2wks late and I believe Wonder weeks is based on due date rather than birth date, so hopefully he'll be out of his current sleep madness in a couple of weeks' time too.

Original poster

Cosmosis · 11/01/2011 10:52

Count DS was two weeks late as well, so in theory ought to be out of it, but definitely isn't!

I will keep you posted.

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CountBapula · 11/01/2011 11:40

Gah! Sorry to hear that. I got, like, no sleep last night.

Original poster

Cosmosis · 11/01/2011 15:59

yeah, me too. Suck doesn't it.

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CaptainNancy · 11/01/2011 16:04

I didn't do it until 8mo, it took 3 days.

I think 15 weeks is too early IMHO.

It might seem an odd suggestion, but perhaps putting them down earlier, before they show any signs of tiredness might help- with my DC2 I did this, and he was always happy rather than frazzled then, and he self-settled at a much earlier age than DC1.

Hope things get better soon, whatever course of action you take!

MotherofHobbit · 11/01/2011 21:20

We did it very successfully at 5 months- went from screaming to sleep to being put down awake and self settling.

TBH - I found that sometimes DS would actually get more upset being picked up, and I would sit next to him (in the cot), rub his tummy and sing a slow lullaby.

There are different recommendations depending on the age of the baby. You should be able to find detailed information on how to do it here

Original poster

Cosmosis · 12/01/2011 08:52

How long did it take MOH if you don't mind me asking? DS will be 5 months when we try it I think.

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muslimah28 · 12/01/2011 13:36

interesting thread. just wondering, do you use it for all wake ups through the night? that would mean very little sleep for us as ds wakes up every hour and a half

Original poster

Cosmosis · 12/01/2011 13:59

Muslimah I think the idea is that you do it for bed time and they learn to settle themselves back in the night. Not sure what you do for night wakings in the mean time though? we have same issue in that he wakes every hour and a half ish at the moment. Hideous isn't it.

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muslimah28 · 12/01/2011 15:36

thanks cosmosis.

yes its very tough!! you beat me to it actually in starting this thread as i was going to post sth today on PUPD myself! have been reading the links posted above, which are very helpful.

CountBapula · 12/01/2011 15:47

We've got the hour and a half thing at the moment too. Am going slightly insane ... :(

jandmmum · 12/01/2011 16:45

hate to be bearer of bad news but 4 month sleep regression doesn't always disappear at 19.5 weeks. DD was a beautiful sleeper from birth to 16 weeks. One feed around 2-4am and then at around 12 ish weeks slept from dream feed at 11ish. Then it all went horribly wrong and at 23 weeks is no better. Had around 3 hours sleep last night! although as she has a cough at the moment it may have some bearing on it. I find pu/pd works some of the time but not in the night. Hope all your LOs give you a better night tonight.

mewkins · 12/01/2011 19:24

Hi,

We started PUPD at 13 weeks when DD started waking every hour and needed feeding/rocking back to sleep. It was hard going and took around 90 mins the first 3 nights then got better. Interestingly, from the very first night she seemed to be able to self-soothe throughout the night so would wake, let out a short cry then put herself back to sleep. On the few occassions she properly woke I did PUPD again but it only took 15 mins max to get her back to sleep. We relapsed slightly when she got a cold, and when we started again (around 5 months) it was a lot quicker and easier as she was older and seemed to get the hang of it.

We still have the odd glitch and I find it much less effective for naps as I found DD got past the tired stage and then it felt like a waste of time persisting until feeding time rolled around. It's only been in the last few weeks (she's now 6 months old) that we've had much success with naps and I think that's just a development thing. She is far from the perfect sleeper and now has an early waking issue(!) but she usually self-soothes well and sleeps better for it.

My tip would be to remain absolutely consistent in what you do (both you and your DP should do it in exactly the same way, use the same words,etc), stay calm and stick with it. There's usually a relapse or two (around days 3-5 I think) but stick with it as we found that after that things just kept improving. Also watch your baby closely for sleep cues - it's a lot easier to get a tired baby to sleep than an overtired or untertired one!

Original poster

Cosmosis · 13/01/2011 08:48

Did you do it for naps and bedtime at the same time? DS can already sometime self settle in the middle of the night thankfully.

jandmmum I know it's not necessarily over then, I am just hoping!

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muslimah28 · 13/01/2011 19:07

one of my worries is that ds will spend more time in my arms being picked up than in the cot cos he'll get hiimself worked into a frenzy...nevertheless i think we're going to give it a try. we're hopefully taking the cot out this weekend (currently he sleeps in a hammock) and will spend a week getting him used to the cot, playing in it etc for short periods in the day, then the plan is next thursday or friday we start PUPD. cosmosis, do you want to join me, we can do it together!

CountBapula · 13/01/2011 20:21

Ooh, keep posting and let me know how it goes - DS is too little still I think but I reckon we might give it a go at five months. Though I do share your concerns about frenzies, muslimah!

mewkins · 13/01/2011 20:39

I focused on bedtime initially and tried it at naptimes but was very hit and miss so I always had a long walk with the pram standby (think BW recommends trying for 45 mins for a nap and then to just get them up if they haven't gone off to sleep in that time). It may be quicker though if you set a couple of days aside and do all naps/sleeps with PUPD.

Re: getting worked up while being picked up, I also found that my DD seemed calmer once put down in her cot (and still find that when she's overtired she much prefers being left alone rather than cuddled). It's recommended that you hold them for about 2 mins max and even if still crying place them in their cot and keep a hand firmly on their tummy to reassure. If, after 30 secs or so, they haven't started to calm down, pick up again. But don't pick up if they are starting to calm/doing a mantra cry rather than a full-on cry. Sorry for the long explanation!!

freddiefox · 14/01/2011 00:26

my Ds was a great sleeper untill he was about four months, we tried pu/pd and for me it really worked and he was self settling aswell, but it took at lot of work and only worked for a while, (he has just learnt to stand so will stand everytime he wakes ups so back to square one but it was great while it lasted) what I did was to stay awake all night, made sure DH was there to take over in the morning, so I could sleep. Ds at four months was waking a lot every hour and a half, only sleeping if cuddled or feeding etc. so spend whole night pu if crying, comforting him then lyning him down awake, he would scream, but I would count to 30 then pick up and comfort (always made sure he wasn't upset when I put him down, he would scream but gradully over the night he would cry for shorter periods and would sleep for twenty mins or so. By 3.00am he was asleep after being put down awake. I fell asleep and he didn't wake up till 9.30 the next morning, that was the longest period of sleep he had in months. After that Ds was quite good at sleeping and if he woke up which was rare would pupd. Things have changed no with the standing through, so going to have to do pick up lying down,.

Original poster

Cosmosis · 14/01/2011 08:35

muslimah you're on!

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muslimah28 · 15/01/2011 11:55

brilliant cosmosis! I must admit im dreading it but also ready to give it a real proper go.

We are going to take the cot out prob tom, and then we need to have a week or both cot and hammock up so a very squashed room! The prob is trying to do pupd at the same time as moving to cot, but at the same time we have no other choice, its more a case of doing pupd because we are moving to cot and ds just doesnt know how to sleep w/o it, or w@o a feed (but feeding to sleep not reliable esp for naps)

i was wondering if i can continue to thread-jack and ask those with experience in pupd:

i dont want to cut out night feeds entirely right now (too much change all at once) so how do do this? I was thinking of saying ill feed him every 3 hours (atm its every hr and a half) and in between any wakings will be pupd. And also maybe trying water in between if desperate? We did this last night twice, worked a dream first time, not so well second time

how essential is it to say only yr key words? Im not sure that sits well with me when comforting him

do u have to wait til theyre properly crying before picking up? I started off this way when i was doing other sleep trainig recently but it seems to take so much longer. So then i got to using my jusgement re whether i thought it was a whimper or whether he was definitely not going to settle

how do u deal with a frenzy???ie when they just get so worked up?

Tia!!

mewkins · 15/01/2011 18:56

Re: move to cot, that's exactly when/why we started PUPD...she would freak out when she woke in her cot (having fallen asleep on us) but had outgrown her moses basket so we figured she would be happier having fallen asleep in her cot!

With feeding, I think that sounds like a good plan. Start off the night by agreeing when the earliest you will feed will be (eg. every 3 or 4 hours). You can always try to eliminate these as your little one gets older. The key is to be absolutely set that you will/won't feed on a waking though, eg. either stick to PUPD until they are asleep or get up and feed right away. (This is trickier now we are trying to wean and we can't work out whether our DD is genuinely hungry or not!)

Also, with the key words/phrase, as I understand it you don't have to only use these. The idea of having this phrase is that a couple of weeks along you can just use this instead of having to pick up and they associate it with PUPD and going to sleep. It sounds mad, but it does start to work! The BW also recommends that you can talk to them/explain that you are picking up /putting down in a soothing and reassuring voice too, so don't feel you have to be limited to the phrase.

I'd also say stick with using your judgement on the level of crying and when to intervene.
Hope it goes well!

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