17 months and sedation isn't working

[tegan]

Please help me my baby is 17 months and won't sleep. She has 40 mins in day but wakes every 40 mins to 1 hour in the night and wants to get up at between 2 and 3 am.
She has been on sedation for 6 weeks and even that isn't working any more. please help me

bump

ok, so what's the history?

have you been to doctor (presume so if she has been on sedation)? what does doctor say?

what methods have you tried?

does she have any illnesses?

how long has this been going on?

No help... but I feel your pain! I'm the owner of an 18 month old hyperactive boy who sounds very similar... sigh!

To koalabear
The doctor perscribed valium which she was on for 6 weeks and then taken off by the doctor.
We have tried everything - controlled crying, rocking her to sleep even going in the car every night.
She has no illnesses and we have had this for around 5 months.

ok, in the absence of illness, a couple of suggestions:

1. hire a maternity nurse for a week (or at least, 3 nights) - they have experience you and i and doctors don't, and can often help out with habits like this. Even if they can't stop the behaviour (which i doubt - they WILL be able to help), they will give you a rest!

2. what sort of control crying did you do? we stuck to Dr Ferbers book "Solve your childs sleep problems" to the letter, and our son went from waking every hour, to sleeping from 7.30 to 6.30 straight.

Sounds like you have a real problem. So hard to see the wood for the trees, especially as it has got so extreme. I'm not in the UK but I've heard that there are Sleep Clinics attached to quite a few of the hospitals. Perhaps you could speak to your GP or HV about being referred to one. They would be able to see if she has a sleep disorder or it's more habitual. The sedation may only be masking the real problem. Sounds like she is not able to move from one sleep cycle to the next, without fully waking. Apparently we all stir at the end of a cycle, but most people just move into the next cycle. BUT some people can't and there is actually a name for this sleep disorder. Maybe worth looking at.

Have a look at \link{http://www.mill-pond.co.uk this site}

Sorry can never do links, but check out that address.

Sorry can never do links, but check out that address.

Have a look at \link{http://www.mill-pond.co.uk this site}

Have a look at \link{http://www.mill-pond.co.uk this site}

this one jampots?

you need to put an \ after the website address.

thanks for all of this upport and advise.
I have today spoken to my health visitor and her only solution is controlled crying and transfering my daughter to a bed instead of being in her cot.I have checked out the link and have kept the link for future reference. Thanks again

tegan - what about the maternity nurse option? is it not an option for you?

your HV isn't sounding very helpful TBH - personally, i wouldn't put a 17 month old in a bed for safety - too tempting - to me, that would reverse what you a trying to do by allowing yet another variable into the situation

for gods sake dont give her any more valium. Its probably making her worse tbh.

Leave her in her cot also. What is your routine with her? (time of nap, time of bed/time of waking?)

well she goes down for a nap between 10:30 and 12 but I wake her after 40 mins.
She has a bath at 7ish then comes downstairs for her milk and falls asleep on me when she gets tired which could be any time. then I'm constantly up hourly sometimes but always up with her awake from 2am onwards. Her usual waking time is around 7am

ok, i'm going to be opinionated here, so apoligies, and of course, feel free to ignore me - the following is all IMO

at 17 months, i suspect she is going down for a nap around 10.30 because she is exhausted from the night before - and you said you wake her after 40 minutes, but 40 minutes is not enough sleep during the day for a babe of that age

typically, at that age, a babe should be sleeping from around 12/12.30 pm for 1.5 to 2 hours (so after lunch she should be going straight down)

also, you said "she falls asleep on you" - i suspect therefore that that is the only way she knows how to fall asleep - she needs to learn how to "self sooth" or fall asleep by herself - the reason why she is waking is that each sleep cycle (about 45 minutes) she moves to a lighter sleep, wakes, and is unable to put herself back to sleep - she looks for you, she cries, and there you are - and the cycle starts all over again

poor you - you must be exhausted - poor baby - she must be exhausted too

i suggest:

1. by the babywhisperer book if you don't have it, and religiously do the "pick up put down" method each time she ways up - she needs to learn to sleep in her cot, not on you (I can take you through this if you don't have the book though)

2. get her up at 7 am, but don't put her down for her sleep until after lunch - don't wake her from her day time nap unless she is still asleep at 2.30/3 pm

3. after tea, play, bath, do milk UPSTAIRS away from any distractions, and then she goes straight into her cot (you will then probably need to do the pick up/put down method because she is used to falling asleep on you) - don't bring her backdownstairs as this singles "play time" again, not "sleep time"

what do you think?

Very very valid points and I totally agree with what you are saying but I worry that if she has a long nap she will sleep even less at night. I don't have the book you mentioned so any info on that would be good.
The main reason for changing her cot to a bed was for safety reasons. At the moment when put in her cot she will pull down the curtains and blinds and then start pullin the wallpaper so we thought that if all these temptations were out of reach this might help.

research shows that if they have a good sleep during the day, they sleep better at night, and vice versa (not enough day sleep, frantic, not good night sleep)

re cot vs bed - suggest move cot into middle of room, rather than move into bed

re babywhisperer pick up put down method - you can get this book on amazon - i'll find a link for you - it really would be best if you could read about it - however, when i find a link i'll also post a basic summary of it for you

there is also a lot of advice on threads here as many other mums have found the method useful

please keep on line and let us know how you are getting on

thanks for that. I would love to move her cot into the middle of the room but the room is just too small. I have just put her down for a nap so I'm not going to wake her today adn see if that helps.
Thanks again

then take down curtains/blinds, and put cardboard/newpaper on the glass in the window until she gets over her "pulling down the curtains" phase, and move the cot just a little (as much as you can anyway) away from the wall

wont a bed have the same issue??

she has a cot bed so when I change it to a bed it will be reall low down and she won't be able to reach.

Book:
this

Babywhisperer Website:
www.babywhisperer.com/

Pick up Put down Method:
In summary, you go through your bath, book, milk routine, and then calmly place them in their cot saying whatever you usually say to them at bed time (eg. sweet dreams, night night, or whatever)

As soon as they start to cry, you go to them, pick them up, sooth them, and AS SOON AS THEY ARE CALM, you place them back in their cot, and if you can, leave the room. As soon as they cry again, you repeat the procedure - Pick up, calm, put down whilst awake into cot. You do this for as many times as it takes (with our DS it took about 1 hour the first time, although sometimes it can take longer). You will get tired, but it will work if you stick to the routine. Eventually, she will fall asleep in her cot. Each time she wakes, you do the same method. She will learn though this that if she cries, you are near, but that she is safe in her cot, and that she can take herself off to sleep without needing to be on you.

we have cot bed too, and whilst set up as cot bed, we can put mattress on lowest setting that it would be as bed (so although still cot, mattress is height of bed) - does yours do this also?

just read this back - don't mean to be harsh at all - just trying to come up with some solutions for you - really feel for you because i've been there with my son too! I really hope that someone on here can give you some advice which helps