I am sick of going to bed at 8pm because....

[LittlebearH]

My 8 month old DD wakes 6-10 times a night. Am I the only one??? Feel like I have no life!!

same here!

i have hellishly restless ds2 aged 4 mths. we are co-sleeping and it is still a long night...

it will end, honest

This too will pass.

It's a temporary state of affairs, and it does come to an end eventually.

You're unlikely to be getting up to her six times a night when she's studying for her GCSEs

I do, however, remember the absolute longing for an entire night's sleep.

Huge sympathies. DS was a terrible sleeper - now 3, he wakes in the night but just joins us in the big bed and goes back to sleep unless we're having a rough spell. It's been a long 3 years though and at times you just want to curl up and pass out on the floor. There have been days when out shopping I have longed to lie down on the pavement and just close my eyes. But you know, it does slowly get better. I've even got a brand new one keeping me awake now! You'll get there :)

Same here utterly desperate for sleep, DS 5 months never goes longer than 4 hours so if I am lucky he will go 8 to 12 then like last night he was up again at 3 then every half hour after that. Usual might is 4 or 5 times.

I'm lying in bed just now with him fed him at 8 and he's been awake ever since some Saturday night :(

I'm with u all we r up loads in the night, three times already and this last wakening has been going on for 1hr 30. My DH doesn't help at all during the night, so I have been up a minimum of 5 times every night for at least the past 3 months, but DD2 is slowly getting worse I am so tired and have no family here so it's hard. DD2 is 6 mths

Oh and I was in bed asleep at 6 tonight as I only got just over 4 very broken hrs of sleep the night before, I certainly know what u mean feeling that u have no life.

Thank you for your support.It is comforting to know it is not just me. She has never slept thru. People said it would get better stopping BF,weaning etc etc. She is crap at sleeping during the day too. My DP hates me as we cant do anything because of her naps. I have to re settle her as she wakes after 25 mins. The last time I slept thru the night was June 2009 just after finding out I was pregnant...! When I gave birth they broke my coccyx pulling her out, then stitches came undone, 2 infections, milk dried up had to get it back. I love her so much but now I am on anti dep and valium because of it all....I know it probably sounds like a sob story and everyone has problems but I never thought being a mum would be so hard!! I just keep telling myself to be grateful she is healthy and I am lucky to have her.

Sounds like you've had a hellish time. Have you had any Counselling since the birth? Please take a look here. You'll find others who like you have had a bad experience and where to go for help.

If your DD is a bad sleeper weaning may not help. My DS still didn't sleep long after he had been weaned.

You have had an unusually hard time- it doesn't sound like a sob story.

My ds1 woke up a lot up to 7 mths and dh used to do the 730pm-1130pm shift so at least I'd start the night with a few hours under my belt. It did mean that ds1 has 1 bottle of formula a day, but it didn't seem to have an effect on my breastfeeding..

Have you had your baby's health checked-just to make sure she's not waking because of something like acid reflux?

My friend has her 3yr old in bed with her from about 11 each night-it seems to mean a better night sleep for them all.

I went the other way and did the sleep training thing-going in and shushing/patting his back but extending the periods between doing that. It mean't that ds1 started sleeping for extended periods and got a good 2 hr nap in the day too.

Is your dp on side with you? If you have no other support then you need to be a team.
Naps can be disruptive, but then you have to adjust your lives for a baby in some way. Does she fall asleep in the car? We used to travel at nap times.

Sorry if you've thought of all of this already.

Is your medication working for you? It can be hard to think straight with valium on top of no sleep.

Can you afford to pay for any help-my friend's little boy never slept and she ended up getting a childminder twice a week for a morning session-she would then just sleep. Or when I had newborn twins and a 2 yrold and was struggling the health visitor organized a voluntary woman to come for 2 hrs a week and give me as break.

You sound like you really need a break to me.

I know I need a break the longest I have been without her since born is 3 or 4 hours. The trouble with me is I hate letting anyone else do it because when I get her back she has not napped properly and the anxiety is too much for me because she is worse at night. I let others bath her etc but its when the dreaded 2 hr lunch nap goes wrong the nights are bad. I have tried napping her again at 4pm which helps but my DP insits she drops it because its yet another thing in the routine which ties me down. As my routine is 12.30pm-2.30pm sleep, 2.45pm bottle,4pm maybe a nap,5pm tea,6pm bath,6.45 bottle.7.15pm asleep. He moans we cant do anything or go anywhere.
I think I need to try a form of CC but when I thought I would see if she would cry it out it went on for 3-4 hours and I out her in bed with me when I couldnt take it. So I am scared to try in case I fail. When she wakes all she really needs (most of the time) is dummy replacing and a couple of strokes on the head. So I know she is not hungry,ill etc. I cant let anyone babysit as it would be hell for them. I just get other people go out...but it is me who has to deal with her as DP drives for a living and cant be tired.

I do wonder if our babies slept whether the need for anti dep pills would drop. I swear that its the lack of sleep and the fact my DD wont stop waking that makes me cry and hate life. I am certain I am not depressed.
Warmseabreeze - right with you x

How about swapping the afternoon nap for a morning one-my ds1 was napping 9-10am at that age as well as his lunch nap. He dropped his 4pm nap around 7 or 8 months I think.

Can dd not sleep in buggy or car? Then you could go out in the afternoon?

I appreciate the driving thing-my dh had a long drive to work, but can't your dh do 7-11pm when he'd be awake anyway just to give you a break.

Can you talk to your health visitor?

You need to get together with dh and make a plan becaause I think you're at your wits end.

If you want to do cc, then he needs to support you-can you do it when he's off work so you can be a team?

If all she needs is a pat and a dummy then could you have her in with you? Dh could sleep elsewhere?

Just trying to think of anything that might help.

I do nap her at 9am too. She wakes after half an hour. I go to bed at 8pm so I get 2/3 hours or so. When she does get 2 hours at lunch she does drop the 4pm nap. But today she did an hour and half co sleeping with me (without waking right up for me to re-settle) So now she has been taken out for a walk with dad in the hope she will fall asleep. To top it off last 3 days she has refused her 2.30pm bottle now. So max all day is 10 oz as she only takes 5oz at bfast and 5oz before bed. I feel like I am doing it all wrong..........

LBH, you're not doing it all wrong - it just feels that way. If your LO is healthy and thriving, then your mothering is fine. It's just VERY tough on you that her sleep patterns are so fragmented.

I wouldn't drop the 4pm nap if it's helping - tell your DP that it won't be long before she won't need it and then the disruption will be less. Suggest to him (you probably have already) that a few months are a short time in a lifetime....

Sending you supportive vibes...

I feel with for you. dd is 9 months and wakes every 2 hours or so at night. I go straight to bed after she does.

next week she will move to the kids*s bedroom in the hope she will just fall asleep again quickly when she is not tempted by the boob next to her...

IC thank you and to everyone else. I just feel I have had so many issues from the start that it all gets on top of me. Got HV visiting on Wed and will be going back to the GP re my medication as I am not feeling any better. It is playing on my mind that I have got to go back to work in Jan and I have to be up at 5.15am then which is why I am so desperate to find the elusive solution to why my otherwise beautiful DD wont stay asleep!! My DP says I have wasted these 8 months at home because we rarely go anywhere because DD rules me. Helpful eh?!

Littlebear I can sympathise with you. My almost 7mo's sleeping patterns are driving me crazy too... I thought that by now things would be better than this (although didn't expect it to be easy )

Night wakings can be anything between 3x and 5x but setlling for the evening is horrendous and it can take 2hrs+ to get her to sleep.

Last night she was awake for 1.5 hrs from 3.40am too and nothing I did would get her back to sleep. I am shattered today and am dreading what tonight might bring as she has only just gone to sleep after 1.5hrs of screaming.

My DH also not v helpful and thinks I over analyse things and that I am obsessed with DD's sleep patterns.

You've had a rough ride, OP. I just wanted to post as someone who's come out the other side.

This time last year my daughter was 8 months old, waking 5 or 6 times per night (as well as DS waking once or twice as well) and I really felt as if I was losing it. Absolutely desperate for some sleep. It was not pleasant.

Now a year later she's waking faaaar less (we just co-sleep if she won't go back off easily) and occasionally she even sleeps through the night. I still can't believe it myself sometimes...

I hope things get better really soon, be nice to yourself and don't feel guilty about getting some sleep whenever you can.

Curly LJ your DH says the same as mine!!!!! We are in same boat! :)

((hugs)) I hope things get better soon. My dd was an awful sleeper, it was just horrid, I thought it would never end, but it did - at 18mo she slept through for the first time ever, by 2yo she was sleeping through 5 nights out of 7 - the relief was amazing, I got my confidence back, started to get my life back, then I fell pg, but that's another story.

It will end. I personally found getting out of bed more than twice a night just hellish, and dh really didn't want to co-sleep so we brought a bedside cot which was fab, being able to settle her without getting up made a big difference. We also made sure both of us had a lie-in at the weekend which helped, meant that I had one day a week where I felt rested.

You are doing a good job, it isn't your fault that she is a bad sleeper, its just the way she is. My second is a better sleeper, and everyone tells me its because I'm more relaxed, but I honestly don't believe that I could have done anything different with dd, she just hated going to sleep, even now at 3 she fights afternoon naps and is really cranky in the afternoon. My dad reckons its because shes really bright - she doesn't want to miss a thing - jury's still out, she's only 3.

It's hell isn't it, having crap sleep for so long. And obsessing about it is sometimes the only way to cope. How is your DD about going to sleep? It may help to break the problem down rather than feel you have to go for broke in one go. Maybe work on getting her to self settle better first at sleep times with gradual retreat or sh/pat. Does she drop off for naps ok, as daytime is the easiest time to 'practise'.

How are your days when you do 3 short naps rather than the long one? You can spend ages trying to build a bigger nap when they just won't do it. DD1 didn't long nap until 15months, DS (8 months) has 3 short naps at 9, 12.30 and 4ish, so much the same as yours.

I'm now back at work so have dropped night feeds and we've gone from 4 wakes (often 2 hours awake) to sleeping through to 6 on a good day. 5 on a not so good day. I am a changed person! I spent 2 weeks cutting back volume of night feeds then did CC and it was not too bad (but is def less painful third time round!).

Make yourself a plan, so you feel you have some control, even if it is to make no changes for the next little while. But if you do decide you need people to hold your hand through any changes you make then that's what we are all here for.

I know it will get better DS is my 4th and worst by far, the last 2 never slept through until I night weaned them at a year, now they sleep through.

I know i am going crazy with lack of sleep, I go to bed at night and just want to cry as I know I will be up again soon. With 3 others to deal with it's just so hard. Have no family to help either.

My DP is good he doesn't get up with him as all he wants is boob, he gets up with the kids at the weekend and I get an extra hour or so, and if I have had a bad night I'll go to bed for an hour in the afternoon.

Oh I'm also getting migraines from lack of sleep too.

Dd goes off ok..most of the time with me stroking her forehead and it takes about 5 mins. Sometimes she tries to get up as it is af if she cant stay still without my help. She has a nap at 9 for half and hour then 12.30pm after her lunch. She will wake about 3 times and i re settle her and generally has an hour and a half although occasionally will have 2 hours. If she hasnt done 2 hours she naps at 4pm for about half an hour again.
If she has 4pm nap she is harder to settle at 7pm. But if she has had 2 hours at lunch she wont sleep at 4pm and goes down like a dream at 7pm and wakes less often. Although yesterday she napped at 4pm and woke loads last night. I put her in bed with me but she wanted to crawl about and fell out the bed.She is fine although I feel awful so got her back to sleep in her own room. This morning DP asked if she fell out the bed or did I hit her?! I cant beleive he thinks I would. I know I am on anti deps and I get cross with her but I never would do that. After the wake at 3am she went off at 4am and has slept till 7am. But I have laid awake since 3am because I couldnt sleep. I feel hellish.

Hi everyone, i am another one having a hellish time with sleep.

DD is 5 months and co sleeps but is a terrible sleeper. Last night and the night a night before she was up at 3.30 went back down at 5am. yesterday morn wasnt so bad as i didnt have to get up, today though had to get up and take DD1 to school and i cant nap either as have a majorly hectic day. so feel like crap and want to cry is awful.

My DD1 was like this and i was up 5-6 times a night with her until she started school and cannot stand the thought of that, although i think i got used to it after a while because i used to be able to cope quite well.

I feel for you op. We are all in this together!!

Thanks Ray. Am really considering CC but I just dont think I am strong enough. DP has to drive for a living and we live in a maisonnete so you can hear DD whatever room you are in. I am in bits this morning, have a knot in my stomach and feel nauseus due to the severe anxiety, have ran out of valium that keeps it at bay. Will maybe go for a walk with DD at 9am. Racked with guilt over her falling off the bed. But shocked at DP asking did she really or did I hit her.