Nap extending - any tips...going slowly mad

[littlemissindecisive]

DS 16weeks used to sleep lots in the day and only wake once or twice at night. It was great.

For the past 3to4 weeks he's up every couple of hours and does the dreaded 45min nap two or three times a day. I thought it was a growth spurt keeping him awake but now i'm convinced its due to his lack of daytime sleep.

I went in his room before and sure enough he woke after 45min - i spent 20 mins patting him, with a white noise machine on. No luck. He's now all grumpy and restless and tired. I feel like crying i'm so worn out and taking it out on other kids now.

It may well be a phase but's already gone on a month.....

And now he's screaming the housedown cos he's overtired

I'm spending most of my days trying to keep him calm....kids break up soon and i can't do this for 6 weeks.....

Sorry, no answers littlemiss but watching eagerly to see if there are. Another 45-minute merchant here.

OK here's my thoughts, both my children could only remain awake for 90 mins to 2 hours at this age and would then need a nap. The naps were often only 45 mins too. They then moved shortly after this age to a nap at about 8 or 9am (depending on when they woke), then another nap at about 11.30am (or midday) and then another at 3pm and bedtime at 6.30pm. Then when they got to about 7 months they moved to a 10.30am nap and 3pm nap. At this point finally the morning nap became 1 and a half to 2 hours (yes!!!) and a short 45 mins at 3pm only. I tried to rush my children into a nap at only 10.30am and 3pm earlier than that in my desperation for them to sleep longer but they just weren't ready and then wouldn't settle for a nap as they were so overtired they screamed and they slept worse at night too due to being overtired.

So I guess what I am trying to say is it will get better but you just have to be patient. I know, annoying isn't it?

Growth spurts can cause more sleep disturbances, so the night problems maybe a growth spurt and not related to naps in the day, as there is one due at 3 and 4 months. You can try more feeds in the day, in the hope they wake less at night? It does work for some mums on mumsnet? Or cluster feeds a 6pm, 8pm and 10pm to see if that helps too with night wakings?

Those are my initial rambling thoughts, it will get better. This too shall pass, I promise you! It all sounds completely normal though but frustrating when you're looking for THE answer that will resolve it all

Bump your message again tonight if you don't get many responses today.

Hi again Littlemiss- our sons clearly have lots in common! Another short napper- 40 mins on the dot. I try to get him to have 4 a day which just about keeps him sane. Just. Occasionally I could pat him back to sleep but it would take a good half hour and the dummy. And now we've gone cold turkey on the dummy there is no hope..

Today's resolution is just to let the naps be and hope that as teaandcakes says, they will lengthen in time. Tomorrow I will probably be back to driving myself mad.

Despite what you say, OP, my bet is still on the 4 month regression about the night waking.

Lots of babies are just short nappers and there's not much you can do. My DS is one. He spontaneously started taking longer naps around 4.5 months but stopped a few weeks later.

Nap blending didn't work for him - patting / rocking wouldn't make him go back off. Occasionally he would fall asleep again after feeding, but that was the exception rather than the norm. If he does longer naps in the sling / pushchair, I'd go with those and forget about the cot.

I'd try to make sure you get him down for a nap the instant you see any tired signs (or after 1.5 - 2 hours awake). He may need a last nap relatively close to bedtime - you could try it, anyway. IMO overtiredness is more likely to do with being awake too long between naps than with short naps.

One of the sleep books I read (Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child) says that lots of babies are short nappers up to around 9 months and they often appear tired, but there's not much you can do. As long as you keep an early bedtime, most of them grow out of it. I hope they do!

Suchanamateur, how's it going?

Hi Angeldog- going ok. First 24 hrs was pretty bloody but seeing some improvement now which is good. Think we've still got a way to go though!

Thanks all - he's down for his 3rd nap of the day now!

He used to have great long naps then it all changed. I wouldn't mind if he was happy but i spend half the time he is awake trying to keep him happy and get him ready for his next nap! He is only awake for 1 1/2 to 2 hours so that;s normal. As soon as he rubs his face or yawns i try to get him ready for a nap. I also keep to an early bedtime. He never used to wake before 11pm now it can be 8.30/9pm or 10pm. DH does his feed then its 1-1.30, then 2hours later then an hour after that, and another hour, and another hour!!!!

Kids eh....you'd think by No3 I'd all chilledout about this sort of thing and go with the flow.

He'll get sorted then be teething, then the clocks will change, then it will be cold/flu season

Sounds about right Littlemiss on teething, then cold season. My DS used to sleep loads in the early days and then slowly changed as he grew to 45 min naps before improving. But he now only has one nap a day of 90 mins to 2 hours at 18 months

Try and get some rest when you can and maybe some time out when the baby is being looked after by someone else. May help you to regain your sanity a bit

You could try some cluster feeding tonight to see if it helps him sleep better i.e. 6pm, 8pm amd 10pm or more feeds in the day, to see if that helps him to sleep better tonight? It's always worth a try, before you know it he'll be on solids and on 2 naps a day. There is light at the end of the tunnel my lovely but it must be hard with 2 other DCs as well x

At 16 weeks their brains start wireing up for complicated things like sitting, crawling and the concept of self. My DS went through a waking every 45mins stage at this point and I put it down to the high levels of brain acticivity preventing him from dropping into deep sleep - the only time I got a longer one was if he'd done something really stimulating like a swimming lesson or trip to the multi-sensory room or something like that.... Sorry but hope it helps

Thanks - will look into cluster feeding - have always just left them til they first wake....can't do any harm the amount of times he's up anyway these days!

I agree about the brain going crazy too. You can see there's a lot going on in his mind. He loves to sit up on my knee and tries to sit upright in his car seat and pram (which are on a slight angle) and he's trying to hit things, use his hands etc...

Nice to have some suppport on here and get the frustrations of my chest. DH doesn't get how hard it can be looking after a baby all day (plus 2 others) and mum would just say its my own fault for having all these kids if i can't cope

Fortunately he's very cute

As you can tell - he's on another nap so i'm on here for 5 mins and the kids are having dinner!

suchanamateur is the cold turkey on the dummy going ok? DH thinks we should tackle the dummy later and use it to help him sleep longer first. And when the sleep is sorted deal with the dummy? Not sure whether that will make removing the dummy worse though. I can't decide

Sorry I didn't realise I mentioned cluster feeding twice on here! Oops posted on too many topics today as both my DCs have been napping a lot and I was killing time in my boredom They were making up for several busy days. I suppose I could've done some household chores instead

Hope tonight goes better for you, sounds a bit harsh of your mum, but I presume it's a tongue in cheek comment and she'd help you if needed though?

Several of my friends have used the dummy fairy concept when older and had great success, others have taken it away before 6 months.

My son sucks his thumb and my DD still has a dummy but only for naps and she knows the dummy fairy is coming after her 3rd birthday.

thanks - re: mum - er no and no....but that's a story for another thread

dd is 4 and still sucks her thumb - not sure what i prefer...dummy or thumb.

ds is very sucky with his fists today...

Oooo that's a shame

If your baby takes a 45-minute nap, it might be finishing one sleep cycle but not able to re-settle itself into another sleep cycle. You might try checking on the baby right before the cycle change to help settle the baby through to the next cycle. You can try shush-patting through the cycle, etc. I lie by my daughter when she's sleeping on our bed and, without fail, she starts rooting at the 45-minute mark and I nurse her until she resettles. (I feed her to sleep, so that's why she roots in her sleep.) If I waited for her to wake up crying, and I went in to soothe her, she would be too fully awake to resettle.

You might need to kind of observe a few naps so you know about what time the baby will stir.

If a pacifier has fallen out, put it back in before the baby wakes up. It isn't bulletproof but I have definitely been able to rescue some naps this way.

Thanks Teapot - i tried the patting when he woke yesterday for 20 mins and got nowhere. I was waiting for 5mins before he stirred. Will try the nursing idea at his lunchtime nap...i often lie and feed him then anyway (and try and get a nap myself) so will be ready when he stirs!

I am having the same problem. I have a 2 year old who has just dropped her last nap and a 4 and a half month old. He started off as a perfect 4 hour baby but this has gone completely. I have been trying to see if he will get into a routine but have (today) decided to be strong and provide him with a routine based on Waddilove.
Anyway, all was going well till he was supposed to re-settle himself after 30 minutes nap. Definitely didn't happen and ended up giving himself wind. He is now awake because I wouldn't settle him back down with a feed.
The reason I am doing this is because he has gone back to waking 2 to 3 times a night and won't settle till 10pm after having done better through the night before. I am trying to be strong but am I doing right?

I like Rachel Waddilove's routine but I had to breast feed my babies every 2-3 hours in the day, not every 4 hours like her book said (formula fed can easily fo every 4 hours or some lucky BF mums) BUT having said that her nap times and bedtimes are brilliant. I found though that my children continued to need a nap every 2 hours or less for much longer and they didn't fit into her routines properely until 5 months. Does that make sense?

Your baby maybe waking due to a growth spurt and will settle down again soon AsiMum imo x

fo = go

As an aside, reading your post again AsiMum, I did find at age 4 and a half months with both my DCs though that getting them to self settle for naps became harder and I had to do a little PUPD to persuade them to nap when they were supposed to As I said further down the thread both mine went through stages of only taking shorter naps but the morning nap did lengthen to a decent 90 mins to 2 hours when a little older. It's a tricky time when they're almost between nap routines, not quite ready to drop a nap but not quite working as well as we'd like on 3 naps but soon it improves in my experience. Shame our babies don't read the same books as us

AsiMum, did you know there's a very common sleep regression around 4 months. Babies' brains are working very hard on learning to be more social and interactive, so they wake more during the night. More info here, here, here and here. It will pass, but in the mean time there's not an awful lot you can do to change things. I just kept feeding my DS every time he woke at night and he stopped waking 3 or 4 times and went back to once or twice (his previous pattern) without any encouragement from me.

A lot of babies around 4 or 5 months are only take short naps (mine still is at 6 months) but it's entirely normal. I know of lots of babies who just 'grow into' longer naps at some point.

Woohoo - lay on the bed with him at 40mins and slept another hour! After school run kept driving and got another hour 15mins....lets hope i can keep this up so he gets used to it.

My only concern is that the baby won't learn to settle themselves back to sleep when they come into a lighter part of their sleep cycle, if you're always there to help them instead? And it may teach them to force themselves awake to see mummy at lighter parts of the sleep cycle instead as they get bigger. But maybe I'm worrying for nothing. Lovely though when they do sleep better and it goes well x

Hi all

I have a 4 month old nap-resister and although settling DD down for naps has started to improve over the last week, she only tends to sleep for anything between 40 mins and 1 hour.

The only way I can get a long nap out of her (apart from the odd couple of occasions she has gone for 2.5 hours all on her own ) is to take her out for a drive. She is now getting better at not waking up as soon as the engine is off. So, I get my self ready with a bag of nibbles, drinks and a good book, drive for about 20-30 mins so I know she is soundo, then I pull in somewhere and read my book for about 45 mins, then drive back. If she's still asleep when I get back (as she was today) I sit outside the house and continue to read.

This works for me as it means I'm not sat in the house stressing about her sleep (or lack of) and I get out and about and also get to relax while she is asleep (I used to LOVE reading before dd was born and this is the only real way I get to do it these days ) and she gets a good long sleep - a full 2 hours today!

I know I can't do this every day or for every nap, but am doing a few times a week and it's helping to keep me sane