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Original poster

Advice please - daughter doesn’t want to ski

115 replies

Whowherewhywhat · 30/12/2024 17:41

Hi - we are a family of 5 - have wanted to ski for years but daughter has never wanted to go. The kids (pretty much adults now!!) will be DS20, DS18 and DD16. We are looking at either Lapland or skiing over Christmas next year - if we went skiing we would look at something like Neilson skiing (we are frequent Neilson summer hol goers) as we will all be skiing newbies - I’ve just mentioned to my daughter and she is adamant she doesn’t want to ski - my question is would there be enough other things to do / people that don’t want to ski to do other things eg sledging etc?
would this be a nightmare hol for her over Christmas - thoughts please or safer to do something like Lapland?

OP posts:
LIZS · 30/12/2024 18:00

If she is happy to sit around and read, go to a spa, cafes, walk and meet you for lunch then it can be fine, if you are beginners chances are you will want shorter ski days and odd afternoon off anyway. Pick a resort with other things available.

ThatMauveRaven · 30/12/2024 18:38

At 16 I’d be leaving her at home with that attitude - she could at very least be grateful and agree to give it a try.

EduCated · 30/12/2024 19:00

ThatMauveRaven · 30/12/2024 18:38

At 16 I’d be leaving her at home with that attitude - she could at very least be grateful and agree to give it a try.

I think that’s a little unfair. Skiing is a very physical activity, and takes decent effort to get to a place you are good enough to enjoy it (if learning when older) - someone feeling pushed into it isn’t likely to enjoy it as an activity. I think it’s reasonable to decided you don’t want to commit to a week plus of it without having done it or it being something you actively want to do.

OP, do you have an indoor ski slope in reasonable distance that you could offer for her to try a taster? She might find she does in fact enjoy it.

Would she be happy doing activities by herself in the resort whilst you ski? And would you be happy to fund them?

Otherwise maybe give it a couple of years until she is an adult and has a more genuine choice of whether she opts in or not to a family holiday.

cariadlet · 30/12/2024 19:02

@ThatMauveRaven Why should she give it a try if she knows that she wouldn't like it? That would be wasting her time and her parents' money.

I am a total wuss and skiing would terrify me. I don't need to try it to find out. The op's daughter might be the same.

Finding a resort where the rest of the family can ski and there are other things for the dd to do while they're on the slopes seems a sensible compromise.

ChateauMargaux · 30/12/2024 19:02

Listen to her... no one has to be grateful for something they don't want to do. Don't make it your Christmas holiday.. take the boys another time.. we have similar aged childten.. we all love hiking, with the exception of our youngest.. so we don't hike.on holiday... i hike with the older two when youngest is at sports camp and he and iz do city trips together. There are very few holidys left together... so we prioritise their wishes. I do not love skiing... the rest of the familiy do... they all want me to... i ski a bit with them and then snow shoe, cross country ski or hike but i am an adult and enjoy my own company and can competently do other things... i would hate to do that as a sisteen year old.

ThatMauveRaven · 30/12/2024 19:07

cariadlet · 30/12/2024 19:02

@ThatMauveRaven Why should she give it a try if she knows that she wouldn't like it? That would be wasting her time and her parents' money.

I am a total wuss and skiing would terrify me. I don't need to try it to find out. The op's daughter might be the same.

Finding a resort where the rest of the family can ski and there are other things for the dd to do while they're on the slopes seems a sensible compromise.

If she hasn’t tried it then she has absolutely no idea if she likes it or not. It would be reasonable if she genuinely just doesn’t like skiing (I am one of those people, much to my DD’s dismay!) but if she has never given it a go and simply refuses to then that is just being bratty and ungrateful.

Creepybookworm · 30/12/2024 19:11

I have never skied (except on a dry slope) and I know I don't want to try it. It doesn't appeal at all. Nothing about it. Why would someone be grateful for being forced to do something they don't want to do?

cestlavielife · 30/12/2024 19:14

Does she want yo go at all? She can snowshoe or sledge or sit and read (go on her oho e all day ) and go out to cafes.. is she happy to do that on her own while you ski?

OhcantthInkofaname · 30/12/2024 19:17

There are plenty of things to do at a ski resort besides skiing. Take her. She will adapt.

LIZS · 30/12/2024 19:22

Creepybookworm · 30/12/2024 19:11

I have never skied (except on a dry slope) and I know I don't want to try it. It doesn't appeal at all. Nothing about it. Why would someone be grateful for being forced to do something they don't want to do?

And why would you go to the expense of booking equipment, lift pass and lessons if she doesn't want to try. She might change her mind but lots of people don't ski. There are non-skier passes available in many resorts for gondolas and cablecars.

TickingAlongNicely · 30/12/2024 19:24

Just back from our skiing holiday.

I read 15books and had some lovely walks.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 30/12/2024 19:26

Totally depends on the resort. Is she an outdoorsy sporty type who would enjoy swimming, snow shoeing etc ? If so maybe with careful choice of resort. But there is a chance she would just be miserable.

SchoolDilemma17 · 30/12/2024 19:28

ThatMauveRaven · 30/12/2024 18:38

At 16 I’d be leaving her at home with that attitude - she could at very least be grateful and agree to give it a try.

You are ridiculous. Not everyone loves skiing, it can be dangerous and it’s hard to learn. Why does she need to do it? I was always forced to ski in the holidays and hated it and still do.

BreadInCaptivity · 30/12/2024 19:30

In short yes there are other things to do.

Non skiing attractions such as snow mobile tours, wandering around the resort, cinemas, bowling, nice cafes etc

Lots of hotels/apartments at the upper end of the price range offer swimming pools and spas.

The issue is whether she'd be comfortable doing these things by herself.

You'll be out probably from 9am to 4pm if you're having lessons.

If she's not an early riser then she might be cool with having a late start, meeting you somewhere for lunch (though may not always be possible if you are on a lesson at the other side of the resort) then maybe reading for a bit or looking round the shops.

In all honesty if it's not for her she's probably better off staying at home or with a friend though.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 30/12/2024 19:31

It could work but will need a bit more thinking and forward planning

There are plenty of resorts with other things to do than just skiing. What does she enjoy?

Is she studying any languages? Would she be happy going off independently for short periods while you ski?

ChateauMargaux · 30/12/2024 19:31

I have lived in proximity to the alps for 15 years ... i strongly disagree that there are plenty of other things to do in a ski resort. I spent one week not able to ski due to injury.. it was grim.

You can aki in many different weather conditions but snow shoeing and sledging are only fun in nice weather and only keep you comfortably occupied for a couple of hours unless you are a very keen hiker.

Scottishskifun · 30/12/2024 19:34

There is plenty to do if you pick the right resort.
I would suggest a resort which has a pool and sports facilities etc. Snow shoeing is also available and all resorts will have designated toboggan runs. Some resorts also have mountain runs.

Places like Les Arcs, Alp Du Huez or Avoriaz might be good to look at.

paranoiaofpufflings · 30/12/2024 19:35

If she is only 16, I would go for the Lapland option for an all-family holiday, where there definitely will be something for everyone to enjoy.
In a couple of years you can plan the skiing holiday, when she is 18 she can have the choice to join or stay home.

MyNewLife2025 · 30/12/2024 19:36

Agree with @ChateauMargaux

Also wondering why your dd is so adamant she doesn’t like skiing if she has never tried.
Is she really not sporty at all?

MyNewLife2025 · 30/12/2024 19:38

Also if she doesn’t like skiing, I’m wondering why she would be keen on sledging etc…

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 30/12/2024 19:40

My kids are adamant they don't want to ski, they 'don't want to die'. We have plenty of mountain time, family live in CO. They tube, ice skate, swim. I wouldn't force them to ski.

devilspawn · 30/12/2024 19:50

It's not safe to do anything in Lapland, you do realise it borders Russia

ThatMauveRaven · 30/12/2024 20:05

devilspawn · 30/12/2024 19:50

It's not safe to do anything in Lapland, you do realise it borders Russia

🤣🤣🤣

OhMaria2 · 30/12/2024 20:10

ThatMauveRaven · 30/12/2024 19:07

If she hasn’t tried it then she has absolutely no idea if she likes it or not. It would be reasonable if she genuinely just doesn’t like skiing (I am one of those people, much to my DD’s dismay!) but if she has never given it a go and simply refuses to then that is just being bratty and ungrateful.

Show quote history

Maybe she needs it explained to her that you don't have to ski all day every day for the whole holiday and there are other things to do. Otherwise it's like saying do you want to PE for hours and hours in the cold for a week.

Blueuggboots · 30/12/2024 20:12

I went skiing once...I HATED it. I'm petrified of steep slopes and cliffs having fallen off a cliff edge when I was a child. It was cold and miserable.

Don't take her! If she doesn't want to go, she doesn't want to go.