MN's 10th Birthday Party competition - write a Haiku about MN and win a golden ticket. To be judged by the Poet Laureate. (Not kidding!)

[JustineMumsnet]

So... it's our tenth birthday and we're having a party to celebrate on March 2nd. And seeing as we can't possibly fit you all in, we thought it would be nice to have a competition to have 10 Mumsnetters (plus partners) come along. As part of the prize we'll put you up in a London hotel, dress you in Boden (natch) and send you out to dinner at Pizza Express too. Full details here.

All you've got to do is to write a haiku (and we know how good you are at those) which sums up Mumsnet. And the 10 best will win. Simples.

And lest you think we might not pick the right winners, we've got Carol-Ann Duffy, Poet Laureate, to judge them for us. So for all those of you who enjoy writing in verse, here's your chance to shine.

Good luck.

Events surprised us:
Births, deaths, and the rest of it.
Here we can debrief.

Good to know someone
Has been there before you and
lived to tell the tale.

Can we just do limericks instead?

There once was a whole heap of mums
Who all liked to chat about tums,
and fanjos and norks and weaning and storks
and sometimes they talked about bums.

[classy]

It takes a village
to raise a child and Mumsnet
to raise a mother.

vv good bumper

mumsnet means time out
mumsnet means escapism
mostly means trouble

Bumsex, fanjos, norks and willies
Babytalk, smalltalk, trolls and sillies
Must be Mumsnet's birthday jollies.

I'm disregarding the syllables now! Mind you that link did say that in the UK a Haiku could be any number of syllables, hope she bears that in mind!

Thanks Cilla

As I search for ways
to be a better mum my
DD eats cat food.

Threads of silky speech.
We are spiders, we are flies,
In our safety net.

Mermaids, not maiden,
Swim in salty Net, to spawn
Golden fishwife prose.

(That is just another version of the one I posted earlier -- without the attempt at the caesura thing, which looks clunky now. Can I try with both versions? Thanks.)

I live in Cyprus
Cannot afford the plane fare
Please send me Boden

Expired guinea pig
Your death an inspiration
Jap poets offended

Smirking in office
At Penguin dating saga
clicks back to spreadsheet

My best achievement
On this forum so far is
To get deleted

The secret santa
Love and support when in need
and bumsex is good

Mumsnet can lead to
flooded bathroom and kitchen
benign neglect. arse.

Haikus are a bit
Restrictive. Next time could you
Make it a sonnet?

Comment deleted
Off with her norks! They cry
For crimes against spelling

Rhubarb you are the worst Haiku writer ever

Arf at Bumper's cat food one.

Thank you!