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MNHQ

Do you choose the family car - or does he?

134 replies

HelenMumsnet · 03/02/2010 14:56

Hello.

We've had a hunch for a time that women play a huge part in choosing what make and model of family car to buy. But advertisers keep telling us that's not true - it's the men who make car decisions, they say.

So, we thought we'd ask you what you think...

What part do you play in the decision to buy your family car (and we do mean family car, not the sporty two-seater your other half might have his mid-life-crisis eye on)?

Do you choose it by yourself? Or does he? Or perhaps you do all the research but it's a joint decision in the end?

Do tell...

OP posts:
MayorNaze · 03/02/2010 18:44

he does. but i have criteria that i would like fulfilled.

we are actually changing our car in the next few weeks (because dh wants to ). i have certain things that i would like the car to have but really it is up to him.

ultimately, i don't care about cars. he does. suits us fine

SazzlesA · 03/02/2010 18:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

CantSupinate · 03/02/2010 18:48

Very much a joint decision. There is no way I'd just let DH choose and then just rubberstamp it! He'd come up with something totally not to my liking.

We did think for a long time about what features we wanted, before we actually bought something. Then last week I saw a suitable MPV at a price we could accept in a very local and convenient used car dealer. Honestly, I didn't have the energy with little kids to peruse lots of reviews online or elsewhere, to list and compare all possible factors, or traipse around to dealers seeing what they each have.

What I have also discovered, is that when you go to take a look, Car dealers then try to pressure you and generate positive spin about anything slightly negative you observe about the vehicle or the deal on offer, all the while when you've got LOs saying "I need a wee!" "I need a biscuit!" "She stuck her tongue out at me!..."

[Pressure Shopping with LOs in tow, nightmare!!!]

WeakAtTheCheese · 03/02/2010 19:17

It is a jointish decision. We narrow it down together but dh makes the final call. He has much stronger opinions on brands etc and uses it for work (I'm a sahm) so I think that's fair. We'd never get something I hated though.

elliott · 03/02/2010 19:18

MAybe the reason the advertisers think men make the decisions is that women know that they don't get taken seriously at dealerships - so they tell their partner what they want and send him in to get it!
We make joint decisions, but the car is in my name (historical reasons, we only need one car and I was the first to get one as I needed it for work). Last time we bought I sorted it all out (easier than trying to do it with all four of us around, and it has to be me signing on the dotted line anyway)

bluebump · 03/02/2010 19:36

We both have our own cars - I hate his and he hates mine! His would be considered the family car as mine is on it's last legs and a pain in the arse 3 door which is a nightmare to get a small child out of the back!

missorinoco · 03/02/2010 19:37

Me, I drive it more.
But agree with elliott. Car salesmen seem to think my XX chromsones make me a lesser being when it comes to buying a car.

EssenceOfJack · 03/02/2010 19:53

I tell him what I need from the car, he narrows it down, and then we buy what we can afford, which is normally not what either of us wanted
Before DD@s he chose his cars, I drove them but used public transport so was fairly indifferent.

TheBossofMe · 03/02/2010 20:16

I give the advice and chose a shortlist(I know a fair bit about cars after working for a number of car clients for years), we have a debate based on his likes, jointly make a final decision, and then I pack him off to buy it.

Tortington · 03/02/2010 20:19

i chose mine
he chose his.

LunaticFringe · 03/02/2010 20:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

NotAnOtter · 03/02/2010 20:26

we are choosing now..

I have chosen model, make - i have hassled the garages and bartered the finance deal - i have wittled down the add ons and extras and then I have called on dp at the end to help with the colour...

it's pretty likely i will over rule him !

Tortington · 03/02/2010 20:28

however...i paid for both! so car manufacturers are wrong

crankytwanky · 03/02/2010 20:32

As the "primary care giver" (sorry) I choose the "family car" as I have to drive it five days a week. It becomes "my" car. DH knows that if he had the final say, and something went wrong, he'd get the blame.
I do all the research.

DH chooses his car.(Although when choosing his last one I put my foot down when he had his eye on a yellow one.)

Whoever is working takes the "little" car. (Ergo, his.) This saves moving car seats about, and means the sprogs fit in the motor.

GooberHasBookedHerHols · 03/02/2010 20:41

He chooses his.

I choose mine.

Simples.

foxinsocks · 03/02/2010 20:42

I did the research, all of it - narrowed it down to 2 models (based on a whole load of factors - cost, reliability, previous experience with the manufacturers and previous experience with the car dealership (so much more important than manufacturers realise I think)).

Then presented the 2 options to dh and we picked one together.

Incidentally, if you are showing this to manufacturers, I would echo what someone else said further down. The bloke at the dealership (who I happen to like, he's a v non salesy bloke iyswim) spoke entirely to dh, the finance person spoke to dh, everyone spoke to dh. This was repeated at every garage. Only at one garage, who happened to be managed by a woman, did anyone speak to me and it was the manager coming round checking everything was ok (not that I was particularly bothered - was just an interesting observation)!

foxinsocks · 03/02/2010 20:43

(we only have one car)

bran · 03/02/2010 20:57

I choose. DH didn't even see the current car until it arrived.

ja9 · 03/02/2010 21:01

er, i choose the colour

and

that's about it really

it that bad of me to admit?

i don't get excited by cars particularly...

NotAnOtter · 03/02/2010 21:01

my dp is not at all car -y ! ( makes me fancy him more tbh but that's another thread)

I think he is too disinterested to go through the finite details of buying it - BUT that said - he would miss things if we did not have them ie seat warmers !

BecauseImWorthIt · 03/02/2010 21:02

Well our car has always been my company car. DH had a company car once, but in the last 10 or so years we have decided that he will take the money rather than a car, as we only need one car (living where we do in London we are very well serviced by public transport, and DH goes to work on the tube).

As they have been my company cars, I have always done all the research and made the decisions. I usually buy a copy of Auto car, or Which car and compare all the stats - 0-60 especially! I have tried to get DH involved, but he's really not interested in cars, so it's always my decision. I like cars that are fast and that perform well, as I do a lot of motorway driving - but they also have to accommodate all our family needs.

When I was trying to buy a car, when DS1 was little (probably about 15 years ago now, I went to the Ford garage. My choice was between a Mondeo or a Renault Laguna. The Ford salesman clearly clocked that I was there. I was the only person in the showroom, but studiously ignored me. So I walked straight out and went to the Renault garage, and bought the Laguna.

CantSleepWontSleep · 03/02/2010 21:09

It's very much a joint decision here, and was even before we had dc, when we did buy the sportier cabriolet (with rear seats too, as a nod to starting a family at some point ).

We have just been choosing which to buy next, and both threw ideas into the pot, both researched on www, both went for test drives, and both ultimately reached the same decision (chose the one that I expected to like the most, which he had expected not to like much, naturally ). Now he reads a geeky forum all about the car we want to buy on a daily basis, and I scan the www for used ones that are new to the market.

MinkyBorage · 03/02/2010 21:15

Joint decision, but more me I'd say

notnowbernard · 03/02/2010 21:15

I do not care nor am I particularly interested in what type of car I drive

I know nothing about cars, engines or anything to do with motoring generally

I hate driving, find it a tedious but necessary chore

So would be completely clueless in choosing a car. Would be up to DP (he's not that bothered either though)

liath · 03/02/2010 21:16

DH's car is primarily the family car and it was 100% his decision what to get - he really wanted a volvo xc90 and I didn't want a bloody great SUV. We had a row and in the end he said it was his money and he'd buy what he wanted. I'll grudgingly admit it is a lovely car to drive and swallows a huge amount of luggage.....and was quite handy in all the snow......but it's still a bloody SUV .

He pretty much chose my car too because I frankly couldn't be arsed to do all the research and he is the ultimate haggler so got a really good deal.