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MNHQ

Do you choose the family car - or does he?

134 replies

HelenMumsnet · 03/02/2010 14:56

Hello.

We've had a hunch for a time that women play a huge part in choosing what make and model of family car to buy. But advertisers keep telling us that's not true - it's the men who make car decisions, they say.

So, we thought we'd ask you what you think...

What part do you play in the decision to buy your family car (and we do mean family car, not the sporty two-seater your other half might have his mid-life-crisis eye on)?

Do you choose it by yourself? Or does he? Or perhaps you do all the research but it's a joint decision in the end?

Do tell...

OP posts:
rosieposey · 03/02/2010 21:54

We need a new car soon. I chose the last one when i was pregnant and i have chosen our next soon-to-be car (Volvo XC90) so will be getting that shortly.

To be fair though he does drive another car for work (which he chose) and our choices are narrowed in that we have to have a 7 seater whatever car it was but i would never choose a car that he hated and he in return is quite happy for me to choose a car that i like as i will be doing the majority of the driving in it.

LowLevelWhingeing · 03/02/2010 21:55

I do not care about cars (care much more about cookers, I'm a girl) BUT I'm the researcher in the family.

We needed a new car when the old one got stolen.

I compared all the similar cars for boot space, seats etc. I'm a shite driver and can't park big cars.

Told DP we could have this (but it's too big for me to drive)

So shall we just get this?

Look, here's one for a good price.

DP went and bought it (well dealers don't like talking to ladies do they?)

Cies · 03/02/2010 22:06

We're in the process of buying a new car now. Our first estate.

Dh did all the research, looking online for good second hand offers. Then he pointed out those models on the road as we drove along.

I went along to see the one he said was the best. I drove it, because it'll be "my" car. We said yes. We're picking it up tomorrow.

Flibbertyjibbet · 03/02/2010 22:13

We don't change our cars very often and tend to buy pre loved ones.
Dp will get a truck type thing cos he is a builder,as long as it can fit us and the 2 dcs in I don't care what he gets. But then he would never buy a car for flashness or take out credit etc to buy one so there's nothing for me to get worked up about.

I do get to choose my own car BUT, I always ask his opinion and he comes with me to look for a newer one..

Because he is knowledgeable about cars to the point that he built one himself before we met. He loves nothing better than an excuse to get under a bonnet or under a car for the weekend.

So, I choose my car on grounds of type, size, fuel consumption and insurance group, but I have to listen to his opinion as he'll be saving me a fortune on maintenance bills.

Milliways · 03/02/2010 22:17

DH spends MONTHS studying the car mags, researching fuel, reliability. performance etc. He can quote facts & figs about cars until I am asleep.

I get a say in the colour & trim etc

Quattrocento · 03/02/2010 22:19

I don't think I understand the question - it presupposes the existence of a family car. But cars aren't registered to families, they're registered to individuals.

He thinks about the car he wants, goes and test drives it, and then buys it. He has sole discretion as to make, model, colour and trim.

I do the same when it comes to my car. He has no input at all.

In fact, one of the reasons that I'll never own an Audi is that when I wandered into the showroom, the salesman told me to come back with my husband. Perfectly ridiculous. You get a much better class of car salesman at Saab (or you used to ...)

seimum · 03/02/2010 22:19

We're just in the process of replacing my car. It's a company car, so I had a look at the models that were in a similar price range to our current car, which we both like.

DH provided a list of possible cars (large estates), and we dragged the kids out to look at a few, checkimportant things like the space in the back, interior trim options (I hate black) etc.

Having decided to get the updated version of our current car, DH selected his preferred engine & model and I am currently choosing the colour.

Heated · 03/02/2010 22:27

I do all the research and narrow down the choice of car (type and features it has to have) and where we'll be looking. We both have to decide we like it since the car has to be comfortable for our differing sizes. Dh always negotiates the price/extras.

Habbibu · 03/02/2010 22:37

I do most of the research - am much more interested in things mechanical and technological than dh, we both test drive it and decide together.

shonaspurtle · 03/02/2010 23:54

Me. But as our budget for cars has never been more than £3k I don't imagine advertisers are particularly bothered about what I think.

LittlePushka · 03/02/2010 23:55

I do, just have in fact, today!

DH could NOT be less interested! Were he 30 years younger he's just say "Car? Like, er whatever"

MaMight · 04/02/2010 06:52

He chooses.

Cars are boring.

WidowWadman · 04/02/2010 07:01

We do the research together and make the decision together for all capital purchases, I would find it strange if it was any different.

BaconWheatCrunchies · 04/02/2010 07:12

I chose it, paid for most of it (with my lovely convertible BMW) have my name on the piece of paper as the owner and he got all the mail etc after . And he said as he drove it away (I was too sleep deprived to drive)'it is nice, but it's not a BMW is it?' .

throckenholt · 04/02/2010 07:45

DH does all the research and the ringing round. I comment now and again and have a right of veto (so I think I get off lightly here ).

Generally though we agree in the requirements. And he is much better at getting a good deal than I would be - so it works well for us.

Ivykaty44 · 04/02/2010 08:06

well being a lone parent I thought it would be me that choose the family car - but if it had anything to do with the car sales man it would some random man walking down the street rather that a mother

Car sales men really do not like having to deal with a lone mother trying to buy a suitable car for her family. In fact they try very hard to get any man to be with her to deal with the sale and try to get hives to not deal with a woman sale.

but seeing as it is just me it is my choice what I purchase and I get to choice all on my own so we have a sporty number

WynkenBlynkenandNod · 04/02/2010 08:44

I researched, posted on Honest John to get feedback on what I decided. Spent months shopping around for best deal. Made call and set up price discussion. He drove, I closed deal. Would have walked if salesman hadn't taken me seriously and he was much too desperate for sale to take any risks.

BettyBizzghetti · 04/02/2010 09:42

I care very much about cars (I will have an Aston Martin one day), and DH sees them as things that get you from A to B. He also insists on diesel, which I dislike - but as he lets me have my Aga, I will allow him this one. We have a crumbly estate car which I hate, but which I suggested as it serves the multiple purposes that we need it to serve. Thanks to school fees, we will never, ever be able to replace it. Gah.

RockbirdandHerSpork · 04/02/2010 09:46

Absolutely totally me. Our last three cars were bought by my dad so for one reason or another we didn't get a choice but I drive the best car out of the two we have at any one time. The last car we bought ourselves was definitely my choice. I researched, haggled and did all the donkey work. DH doesn't care that much and would drive a Nissan Micra if necessary.

RoyaltyIsMyOnlyDelusion · 04/02/2010 09:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

2shoes · 04/02/2010 10:19

no neither of us do, dd does, as it is all about her needs

happyland · 04/02/2010 10:28

I definately do most of the work - research, locating possibles etc etc. His input is really only what it looks like and i do all the rest.

Poledra · 04/02/2010 10:33

Quattro yes yes yes re the Saab salesmen! They are lovely - when shipping for a new car with DD2 in her carseat, the Saab saleman helped me move carseats in adn out of my car to check they would fit, happily disucssed tirque, mpg, bhp etc with me and offered Dh a cup of tea while we went off for a test drive. I really miss my Saab 93 estate (DD3, it's all your fault )

I'm really surprised to see the number of women who got brushed off by salesmen - it was only VW that did that to me.

ImSoNotTelling · 04/02/2010 10:52

do advertisers really think this? I thought they had twigged long ago that women had a big say, and often the final say.

With us, we both have ideas, and research together, both go round the showrooms and both test drive. Then discuss it all at length. And then I make a decision

Same with DHs parents.

My parents - my dad does it all but they are terribly traditional in their roles. Amd he is the sort of man who checks the oli and tyres every week without fail on a sunday, while my mum cooks a roast with her apron on. That sort of vibe. Do the advertisers live in the 1950s as well?

ImSoNotTelling · 04/02/2010 10:58

Haven't read the whole thread but just seen poledra's post - one salesman was terrible with us.

I was asking questions and he gave his responses to DH. Then I asked whether the model he was showing us was in a different tax band to the one we had asked to look at. He said "yes but it's peanuts" (£100 a year difference or something) and when I said something about environment (we had gone to ask about a prius and he was showing us a gas guzzler) he rolled his eyes at DH FFS. He was trying to sell to DH on basis of powerful car etc and obviously thought I sholdn't be worrying my pretty little head about any of it, and should stop interrupting with my foolish comments. Twat. We didn't go back.

Thing is I know sod all about cars, but DH knows even less!