Facebook, Bebo, Myspace - are your kids on it - what age should they be allowed to start?

[JustineMumsnet]

Morning all - I'm on Radio 5 Live this morning to talk about how parents do and should control their children's use of social networks. So wondered what you all thought... What age you all think children should be allowed on Facebook and what do rules you follow, if any, in your house?

My oldest is 10 (DD) and despite asking, she is NOT on any of those sites. She has classmates on facebook but I believe it's far too young. Apart from encouraging even MORE screen time, even if you know their passwords etc and can regularly check, I still feel its a bit too "open" for my DD to be on. You just don't know who is lurking - it's very easy to pretend to be someone you're not on Facebook etc. All you need is a photo and a name.

She has a list of bookmarked websites that she's allowed on and that's IT. PC in family room so no way she can go on other sites without me seeing. Not that I often get off MN let her anyway.

14 is, I think, hte age restriction on FB and I think thats right.

DS1 is 11, and many of his friends ahve unlimited access to the internet and social network sites. One of his friends even downloaded some very graphic porn images from the internet to his phone - his parents knew nothing about it until I overheard him showing my neighbours 6 year old son the images, and told them.
My 2 don't have access to Facebook, Myspace etc, because we feel theyare too yong, even the 11 year old, to be able to monitor it himself (ie what people post to him etc) and we certainly have parental controls set up on the computer.
Some might say I'm wrong to think that, but IMO, 15/16 is old enough to be using sites like that

Msn was allowed when dd was quite young - i think she must have been about 10 - you can copy the messages and read them

i also used to make her spell things properly if she wanted to use it - i didn't want her to get into nasty text speak habits ( pre-teens when there was a remnant of parenting idealism left!)

facebook i wouldn't allow until 12 or 13, i am a 'friend' on my kids fb so i know what they are saying - who to - what groups they have joined etc.

i think this is fine as long as the child is aware that you will be checking - you have control of passwords etc and thats the deal

sure you can go on it - but i willbe checking on you - take it or leave it kid.

My two (11 and 12) use it. BUT--only if I have passwords. I check their accounts each night after they've gone to bed. If I don't like what I'm reading I have been known to delete 'friends'. If I see comments I think might upset my rather sensitive son, I just delete them.

There's no way I'd let them use FB without me being able to do this. There's too much scope for bullying.

Would I prefer them NOT to be on FB? You bet.

And to echo Stewie, my two are quite mature. I have sat them down and explained the very serious implications of posting something 'funny', how it will linger on the net even if they delete it. How some of these things get back to teachers (which happened at my son's school), and can lead to suspensions.

msn at 12 for dd (secondary school) then bebo at about 13, now facebook at 15.

ds - 13 just getting into msn

ds - 9 no interest.

my ds is 12 at Chrsitmas and I didn't realise that every single one of my friends' children is already on FB....I feel a bit shocked to be honest.
I was considering let him have an account on his birthday. But with warnings and a Big Talk.
I wish to use our family friend as an example, who lost his job this week after whinging about his work, how he was under appreciated and how crap the management were on FB. they were looking for 'cuts' and our friend unwittingly, in a moment of ire, presented himself on a plate, as it were.

Ds1(12) is on MSN, he is desperate for Facebook but I have said no until he is 13.

My main concern will be about him not using his security settings well enough, so I think he will be allowed it on the basis that we check security every so often.

I am always amazed at how many of my friends allow all their pictures etc to be viewed be everybody, mine is strictly friends only, with some restrictions on certain things within that so would want to be sure he is not doing the same.

it astounds me how many parents don't have parenting controls on their computers.

also you can do all this stuff from most mobile phones

I thought you had to be 13/14 ish to use facebook - what do you do if they are younger, put in a false date of birth? My youngest is 10 and intermittently asks for an account, but really she is happy with Club Penguin and Moshi Monsters. Sometimes I beg permit her to sort out my farmville farm on fb though.

DD is 9 and had a bebo account when she was 7! She liked Bebo because you can download funky wallpapers and glittery sticker things for your page. Her 'friends' were family members (cousins) and a few family friends. However she has just deregistered from Bebo because 'it is boring'.

She is now on Facebook and plays the games on there - farmville/aquarium thing. I know her password and none of my kids (9, 12 and 14) have their own pcs.

We have one family pc in the study and I know all passwords, know when the kids are on and check all history.

My older 2 have facebook accounts, but TBH they were really into it at first and now don't really use it. (They are boys and I wonder if it is more a girl thing?) Also, I do sometimes check my 14 year old's page - some of his friends are my FB friends - and the language on there is pretty eye watering sometimes. And as for the txt spk!! But hey, it's only how they talk in school.

My view is if you expose them early and don't make it a big deal or a mystery they will soon get bored of it. We also have rules - if I don't know their password, they don't make an account. They don't download any apps without asking me (I usually say no!)

DS is 9 and has a facebook account ! BUT it is MY email address, only I know the password and DS only goes on it for the games, the privacy settings are also set VERY high and he is not searchable at all. He also only goes on facebook on the laptop which he has to sit with the screen on veiw so i am totally happy he is safe! I also check all the notifications etc he is not allowed to touch any thing other than games!

I'm worried by this news from CEOPS that FB and MS won't let them put a safety button where children who are worried can contact CEOPS direct. Seems very wrong.

Would also think Youtube should put the same button on. But I haven't looked for it, maybe they do.

Not an issue for us yet as ds is only 6 and uses the internet only with me right there. Sometimes for homework, or to play games/watch train videos/Doctor Who with me right there.

But when he's older, I will be monitoring whatever is the equivalent of Bebo by then very, very carefully.

Between the ages of 14-16. My boys are 8 and 13 and haven't shown any interest in going on these sites thankfully. My eldest used to MSN a few friends but the novelty soon wore off. My eldest was a victim of bullying and happy slapping not so long ago he could easily be a target for cyberbullying.
Our computer is in the living room and has parental settings.

Thanks everyone. Facebook age limit is 13 - have to say I had no idea about that.

Cannot understand why someone would put in a false date of birth for their child to allow them to have access to facebook. Totally irresponsible imo.

The lower age limit for facebook and any other website hosted out of the US is 13. It is 13 because of a US law called COPA which is the "children's online privacy act" which means it is illegal for sites in the US to collect personal information i.e. names, dates of birth, email addresses etc from a child under the age of 13. This is for the safety of the children...

And still some idiot parents seem not to care and let their kids lie anyway. presumably you'll be allowing them to drink underage too?

xposts justine.

We allowed DS onto Bebo when he was 13 - but limited him to only linking to people he already knew. We looked at his page now and then, but haven't for a long while. He hasn't yet asked to go on any of the other sites, but I would be fine with them now that he's 16. We also made sure he knew not to give out personal information, as a general internet security thing.

thanks wannabe, im not irresponsible, irresponsible would be allowing DS access at any point without parental supervision and allowing him to have the password etc. Im not an idiot either HENCE DS can only play the games and is never left alone with the laptop!
he didnt lie about his age, its MY EMAIL ADDRESS and MY DOB but the name inclorporates DS name.

wannaBe, presumably the children lie because they want to join and be more grown up than they really are, and their parents don't know about it? Maybe because the parents aren't clued up about the web?

My 12yo DD has been begging me to let her have a Facebook account for weeks "because all my friends have one".

I say no and will continue to say no for at least another year. She has MSN and that is enough for now.