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Facebook, Bebo, Myspace - are your kids on it - what age should they be allowed to start?

36 replies

JustineMumsnet · 18/11/2009 08:14

Morning all - I'm on Radio 5 Live this morning to talk about how parents do and should control their children's use of social networks. So wondered what you all thought... What age you all think children should be allowed on Facebook and what do rules you follow, if any, in your house?

OP posts:
Sparks · 18/11/2009 10:18

OK I'm irresponsible

Of course the Facebook company must comply with US law, but it's up to me to supervise my dd's use of the internet.

My dd is 11, uses facebook mostly to play Farmville. She is only allowed to have people she knows in RL as friends. They are either relatives or her classmates.

wannaBe · 18/11/2009 10:21

I think children lying to get on these websites is one thing, they do so presumably to keep up with their friends who are on the same sites. But parents that allow their children to lie in order for them to get on these sites is something else altogether.

I also think that many parents are naive as to what children do and don't do on the internet, because although we can have parental controls at home, we have no control over what our children do online when they're elsewhere, at other friends' houses, the library, in an internet cafe ... and children are a lot more internet savvy than we give them credit for.

Also most children over the age of eleven have mobile phones, and many of these have internet access, and again parents would have little control over that, and it's easy enough to delete what you've been doing/who you've been talking to on facebook via your mobile phone without parents knowing.

I don't know what the answer is tbh, I think it's a worry that children have far earlier access to things that we never did, things which can compromise their safety, because as much as we tell kids not to give out info, most will at some time.

myalias · 18/11/2009 10:22

My mate posts pictures on her profile (not private) of her and her friend's drunk and various men draped round her. Her children have their own facebook accounts and can see their mother's pictures - then she wonders why she is having problems with their behaviour.

AMumInScotland · 18/11/2009 10:29

I think the difficulty is that many parents know nothing, or next to nothing, about these sites, so they are going on what their child tells them it can do / what protection there is. And the children might either be lying, or repeating what their friends have said without any of them actualy checking.

I don't have accounts myself on any of these things - so when DS wanted to go on Bebo, we had to look into it and find out - we're fairly internet-savvy so found the page with the age information on, and saw what the options were, and were happy to go ahead and set it up with reasonable confidence.

But many parents either can't or won't find out for themselves, and then it becomes another of the "But everyone else does. It's not fair" arguments.

wannaBe · 18/11/2009 10:37

Also once children reach secondary age parents don't know all their friends so it's easy enough to say that someone is "my friend" without the parent actually knowing who they are.

bonkerz · 18/11/2009 12:39

well thats quite simple cos my son has no friends!(no joke either as he is in a class of 3 children and is autistic!) on his facebook account he has his step sister (she comes at weekends and is younger than him but they speak via facebook) he has ME and he has his DAD. He cannot access facebook anywhere else as he does not know the password. He does not have a mobile phone!

wannaBe · 18/11/2009 16:38

But bonkerz your ds is in the minority.

The reality is that most children do things their parents are unaware of, and accessing things online is no different. And as I said most children over the age of eleven have their own mobile phones and most mobiles come with internet access so going on to facebook o your mobile is easy enough. In fact there are networks that offer free unlimited access to facebook, myspace and beebo if you top up by a certain amount.

And unlike computers, mobile phones don't have parental controls that restrict access t certain things - yes some providers do place a safeguard on certain sites, but facebook isn't one of them. (mn is though! mn is considered not suitable for under 18s by orange).

StewieGriffinsMom · 18/11/2009 17:11

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Message withdrawn

halfcut · 18/11/2009 17:12

I would say when they get to secondary school age they are old enough to go on fb etc ... as long as you can talk to them about all the risks and problems that may occur

Fivesetsofschoolfees · 18/11/2009 17:13

My kids are allowed Facebook from age 13 on the condition that DH and I are their friends.

ByTheSea · 18/11/2009 17:19

DS-13 is on Bebo and FB, and DS-12 and DD-10 are on FB. I have parental controls on the computer. DD-10 is only allowed friends on FB whom I approve. She really just goes on to play games and communicate with my extended family who are abroad. Just about all of the secondary school children around here seem to be on FB. All three are also my friends on FB so I can keep tabs on them that way too.

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