Could you help someone escaping Domestic Abuse??????

[Mamazon]

As im sure your all aware Domestic abuse is a massive problem in our society and resources to help women escape are scarce.
On MN alone there are many many women that are either struggling to leave or have finally left and are now struggling to get settled.

Now Mehdismummy has given me a most fantastic idea and i am keen toput it into action, but i need the help of all of you most fabulous MNers. we all know how generous you are -me more than most- and so i am counting on you to help get this off the ground.

I have an enormous cupboard at my house (it is about the size of a box room almost) and with your friends i hope to fill it with little bits and pieces that women could use as essential items when they first leave. things like clothes, nappies, kettles, pots and pans etc etc.

When a woman leaves these items are invaluable in those early days so i would put together "first day" boxes and post to them.
they could be tailored to theh individual needs of the people in general but basically they could offer a but of support to cover them until community care grants and other funds kick in.

It would be my hope that once we have a core amount of "stock" we could even get a few bits to help from MN supporting businesses.

Now theh idea was only put to me this afternoon so i haven;t quite ironed out all theh kinks but what do we think? anyone have any other bits of advice or things to think about?? or even anything they think they could possibly donate?

Great idea!

As it happens I cleared out my wardrobe yesterday and I have some clothes that I could donate. I'll keep them until you are ready.

I think it's a great idea in principle. Just a couple of things though:

How are you going to make yourself known to these women in order that they know you have items to help them with?

Also how are you going to get the items to them - posting is surely not an option as if they are in a controlling relationship chances are that an abusive partner will be checking mail etc, and something as bulky as a parcel may put the woman at greater risk.

And lastly, how are you going to ensure your own safety? I would imagine that in order to help these women in some way you will have to give them some personal details about yourself, as if they are fleaing an abusive relationship their trust is going to be dented and they're surely going to be reluctant to accept help from someone if they know nothing about them. Which puts you at potential risk imo - if it becomes known that you offer this service (and posting about it on mn means that it is likely to become known) then there is a risk that men who do abuse their partners might pose as victims of dv in order to get to you iyswim.

Don't get me wrong I think it's a fabulous idea, but I do also think that your safety is paramount, and that by doing this alone without the backup of WA or similar organization you are potentially putting yourself in danger, so this does need to be considered.

hello all.
This is why i have posted the idea here before actyually trying to launch it as an actual campaign/charity/whatever you want to call it.

Its all your very wise heads full of information.

I have contacted Womens aid, and outlined what it is i am wanting to do and asked if they had any advice or could help in any way. Im still awaiting a reply.

I would need to give my address out to people wanting to donate which is why i proposed asking for their address and posting an address label to them. that way they only get my details if the address they have given is correct. i would keep that address for a short period just in case there was need.

I would initially just be offering the service to those on MN. i would imagine once its up and running people on the relationships threads would get to hear of it and could pass on the details to anyone who may need it.
I would be posting out items to ladies once they had left, or to an address they have told me is safe. I would always make sure that i was doing nothing that could endanger them further. thankfully i have been through this for so long with Xp that i have learned to be extra cautious as far as covering your tracks is concerned.
I must admit that it did cross my mind about my own ex but i think we are gar enough down the line to be past that.

I know there is a risk. but i think that in the grand scheme it is a relativly small one and i am willing to chance it. of course if it gets a bit scarey i will call an end immediatly.

Hi Mamazon

We noticed your post and just wanted to check you had received a response from someone at Women's Aid. If not, please give us a call on 01179 444 411 or you can email us at [email protected] and we will be happy to talk through your proposal and see if we can help in any way.

Alternatively, if you would like contact a local Women's Aid service in your area, please see our directory for your nearest Women's Aid.

Thank you all very much for your support of our cause,

Women's Aid National Office

oooh wow! hadn't realised you were on here. feel very honoured

I have re emailed to that addy so look forward to hearing from you soon.

Mamazon
Just noticed this. I think that it is a fab idea.

Not much point in me posting unwanted stuff from Switzerland but I would be happy to donate something toward the cost of PO box if that would help preserve your anonymity.

Or chocolate.

I'm doing my monthly Asda online shop this week so I'll add something to my order.
Some towels/cutlery/toaster. That sort of thing. I'll see what they have that's useful.